"Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone."
A disclaimer? Really? Okay; here we go. You are an idiot; so is your entire family; in fact, you are a mistake. Everything about you is pathetic and unnecessary. You should commit suicide now. Die. Get sick, get sicker, and then die. Quickly. Are you dead yet? You moron. On this webpage are many disappointed and insightful ramblings. If you read enough of it, it should really upset you. There! You've been warned.
Something, anything, many things--on this webpage RIGHT HERE, right where you are now, right now; lots of stuff here is going to upset you.
Got it?
Why are you still alive?
By clicking links and scrolling through disclaimers, do you even know what all you've agreed to at this point? Bend over! This is MY world here, and I will do it any way I want. I will threaten to kill, and eat, well, pretty much everybody. You, too. "Bar-B-Que; it's the ultimate solution to overpopulation!" Fuck you! Die! Or; be cooked alive! I've been a little scared of getting shut down, since I almost got shut down back in 2005. Who fucking knew that all I had to do was buy my own domain? Some other guy got "The Overnight Guy"; well, good for him. Maybe I'll kill, cook, and eat him this year. My 2nd choice was "Overnight Guy W C"; and BOOM, it's mine! How fucking cool is this? I will have to go back and insert so many deleted cuss words now. I might bring back Newspaper News; I SHOULD bring back Personal News, too. Commentaries are going to be; well, less quotable. Oh, and the woman-bashing; this shit is going to be like "Chauvinist Central" now, mutherfucker. Guys; if you let some dumb bitch rule your life, then you deserve my wrath; sorry. Those entitled, elitist snooty-assed cunts of recognition should spend more time sucking dick--MY dick. Let those chat room cows complain now; "moo" like the heffer you are, Rosebud! "Have another doughnut!" Fuck. Where was I? I gotta go...
Wait; a couple more jabs first: Imagine; no, no, no, shhhh. Shut the fuck up for a minute. Imagine that...God is on MY side here. Ha ha ha. How does that make you feel, you fudge-sucking sea cow? Shouldn't you be reading a tabloid and eating some fast-food somewhere? Attach another fish hook through your nose, and go swim in the ocean--perhaps the sharks will find you "attractive"; what the fuck are you doing here? Maybe I should learn how to scratch tattoos and inject botox into your fat ass. Show me just how close to your face you can mash your brain-distorting cell phone--you're an excellent driver. Sorry; I'm all out of $4 cups of coffee. Maybe I'll start a new business selling yesterday's COLD coffee; I'll call it "Sushi-Java", and charge $6 a cup. I'm a fucking genius over here. Mooooo.
I have enjoyed the creation and continuation of these little "Sidebars". My "blood" as a writer needed and still needs new ways to drip, clot, stain, and scab. After roughly 18 (!) years of these loosely structured journal accountings, I feel that the end justifies the means. Many passing thoughts have been addressed well with this medium, and lots of former "dead ends" have been given a chance to detour back into prominence.
In a life (such as mine) spent wishing that I could create my own game (with my own rules), let the record show that I did; here, with these. Thank you very much...
SINCE EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN WEBSITE NOW (FACEBOOK), THE EMPHASIS FOR SIDEBARS ON THIS 20 YR. OLD PAGE HAS BEEN VERY LOW. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN. NOW GO STARE AT YOUR PHONE SOME MORE.
SIDEBAR 238
September 2019
(...the past 2 months we were...)
Reading: I remember the gas crisis 1970's. We almost ran out of gas 40+ years ago--according to the news, and newspapers (reading). I remember how we (kids) were supposed to develop alternative fuels--in order to save the earth (or at least save the U. S.). Within 10 years we would need to be completely independent from Saudi oil--the media told us. Yes; by 1987. Snort; chuckle. How did that 'alternative engine' plan go?..Wait; yes. I read in the newspaper this month (8-2019) that the USA is now the largest oil producer in the world. So; was the US media lying in the 1970's, or are they lying now?
Watching: (Along with the fake gas crisis--we've also got fake moon landing anniversaries!) 50 years ago; yes, but not now. WTF? (It was easier to get to the moon in the 60's, when we were dumber.) Starting on 7-8-19 MO night, and continuing, there were/are multiple 'space/moon landing/Neal Armstrong/exploring other planets, etc.' shows on PBS, SCI, and NGC. We American sheep are being told to think about the sky/stars/universe again. Some tragedy (from above) might be about to unfold, while NASA claims that we humans can no longer get out of low-earth orbit. Ha...
Class Projects: some underwater animals thing from 2009 was good, a Daily Show, Full Frontal, Forces of Nature, the Magical Land of Oz (watched 8-30-19) was great!
movies together: The "California Typewriter" documentary (over 2 sittings),
Shit I watch alone: all of it; she watches stuff on 2 screens in her room...I watched a round of local Comcast cable channel 29 shows; they seem to all be at least 2 years old, from 2017 and such...David Spade's "Light's Out" debuted well on 7-29...This Week At The Comedy Cellar..."The Weekly", a news show on FXX...The Comet and TBD channels have documentaries, and that's very cool...The "Camping World Kickoff" is presented by Hampton by Hilton (it's a thinker)...Bob Lazar is back on tv again! Does anybody remember fossil fuels? We almost ran out of oil in the 1970's (according to U S history), but we're still driving SUV's today. How is that old gas-crisis lie going? Let's put wasteful, Corvette-driving, Bob Lazar in charge of alternative fuels (Like he was in charge of 'missing' element 115; God damn--these jokes write themselves, people.)...
Comedians: David Spade "My Fake Problems" (from 2019, on tv) and "Take The Hit" (from 1998, on You Tube), Jim Gaffigan "Noble Ape", Ian Edwards: Bill Burr Presents, Tom Segura "Completely Normal",
Crappy cable movies: Escape Plan, Monkey Shines: An Experiment In Fear, my new Truman Show DVD (8-8-19), Requiem For The American Dream, Banking on Bitcoin, Being Evel, DSKNECTD, Retroactive,
Play it Again's: Constantine, Wanted,
WTF Is Hollywood Up To Now? Rocketman, huh? 2 movies this year about gay European hitmakers who rose to fame in the 70's, huh? No; I don't see any trends here...
Watching and Hearing: Tv commercials; I heard a short Oreo Cookie commercial voiced-over by ODD, or an ODD impersonator. 11 minutes later was a Subaru commercial about how the new Subaru will alert you if you are not looking at the road; maybe it'll send you a text that says: 'Look up!'...(4 good watch/hear movies on TBD) "I Know That Voice", "SCORE: A Film Music Documentary", "Showrunners: the art of running a tv show", and "Cassette: A Documentary Mixtape" (8-30-19)...This heading was originally about songs in tv commercials; huh. Now we have a Skittles commercial where a rasta man milks a giraffe who then pees skittles into a bucket. Cool; and not controversial at all (another thinker)...Okay; let’s do ONE of these correctly: The (really good) Season 10 Archer finale song is “Robert DeNiro”--Queen Sarah Saturday...
Now with faster than dial-up internet; Youtubing: "the Moon Hoax is used for Mind Control" is a pretty good Owen Benjamin video that explains his arguments.
Hearing: Fat Boy Slim's "You've Come A Long Way Baby" is back in the computer CD player. "Acid 8000" and "Praise You" are dailies in 2019.
New on the radio; ha. Radio was one of the first things to die in the new computer world. Free radio still exists, but it's almost never live. Did you hear about CDWorld?
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at Skip's Records And CDWorld; my future retirement chalet, and fake moon landing brewery: Skip's CDWorld is closing. Like every good thing from last Century, even CDWorld gets replaced by Walmart and Amazon. RIP to Skip's place; 8-28-19. I got a picture of the last sign.
Out and About: Queen and Asia at L U (an 80's day); and a 90's night (for me)..."Madness"--Muse at Fred Meyer, "Birds Fly" (Whisper To A Scream)--Icicle Works at Fred Meyer,
Singing: "Oh Well"--Fleetwood Mac, sung like Pat Boone...Some Depeche Mode, too, sung like regular Gahan...8-25-19 at Fred Meyer, I broke into "Grey Cell Green"--Ned's Atomic Dustbin, "Came Back Haunted" and "The Background World"--NIN, “Creep”--Radiohead, "Give It Time"--BTO, "Frankenstein"--Edgar Winter, "Greyhound part 1"--Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (Again; how does one sing instrumentals? Wouldn't that actually be 'humming'?)
What I want today: A new Purple bed, and a My Pillow. Hmmm. The bed is $1000. The pillow is only $40 at Walmart. Hmmm...Roadtrip? Sure; let's go to Pluto's Cave at Mt. Shasta. People disappear there all the time; like, 12 in the last 50 years. Who would miss me? I mean; who wants to go with me?
New stuff this month or so: Our updated neighborhood Fred Meyer now also sells TVP, and bulgur, in the bulk bins! So I am not forced to go to M o C anymore...Mad Magazine is shutting down here in 2019; oh well...MLBaseball put teams in retro uniforms; some great, some shit. The 70's Braves uniforms had everybody naming obscure Braves players from the 70's who wore these uniforms...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): I haven't been in a while.
Occupational Hazards: I need a perpetual motion, self-driving, multi-income stream network. You can shove your "job" up your ass; also, your "job" is 1950's mentality. Have fun with that--tell Elvis and Jerry Lee 'hello' for me...My chronic daily pain will make home-work a necessity; deal with it--you fat, flailing cunts.
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month (My Journal): Crying in to the body pillow leads to trips to the dab park...7-3-19 phone call to inform me that Dr. White has passed away. Boo...7-17-19; weighed 218 at my (old) regular Dr.'s office...7-18-19; weighed 220 at my lung Dr.'s office. Later; I bought a My Pillow at Walmart while picking up more pain pills...I had a bee in my shirt for 15 minutes. And I lost/found a piece off of my home flame-throwing torch...7-19-19 FR Cheri bought me another pair of Dr. Scholl foot-map insoles at Walmart...I have to put my regular email screen at 120% now; it used to be just 110%. I am so blind...finally replaced the expired (2014) olive oil I had been using. Imagine the health benefits of unexpired olive oil...Weighed 218 at my lung Dr.'s on 8-27-19. Recovery from breathing problems is slow as shit...Our FIRST EVER home DVD player has died (bought by Cheri at Fry's in Phoenix). It cost $200 in Summer 2003. To replace it now will cost $100-140...Bring on the circus of football!
Closing Thoughts, and Final Summaries for the months: Do I need my own You Tube channel? Probably not; I can't really talk well yet. Maybe next month, or BY 2020. (Where does this idea come from?) I'm just saying: 2 of my 3 loopers have their own You Tube channels, and NEITHER one of them writes comedy. Whereas; I write comedy DAILY, but do not have my own You Tube channel. Hmmm...Let me say THIS about your moon landing: It was quite an achievement!..On 8-28-19 TPG reminded me that I have been sick since February. Huh. I have been sick for so long (7 months, dude) that I don't really know anything else right now. Damn; when did TPG get all brain smart, and stuff?..
Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: as of 6-29-19 L U has new Black Knight (1980), and new Medieval Madness (1998) to play. Cool...7-5-19 went and checked out Houdini pinball at Jackalope...SU 8-25-19 I oopsidentally crashed an ECPL tournament at L U; and got (pictures of) my second ever billion bonus on a ball of Batman '66 (proof)...
Poker stuff: I watched 2013's "Bet Raise Fold; the story of online poker" on 8-25-19.
Grammar: nobody even tries anymore. Wheee.
New foods this month: Vegan Cookie dough ice cream...Banana's Foster ice cream was also good...We are trying out cashew butter from the Fred Meyer grinder. Yum!..I buy the vegan L + L choco-mint cookies on Amazon...
This month of Live Music: no
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: "NASA. Because atheists need a religion, too."...
What's different here than in college town: no
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: no
What is so cool about Oregon? 500 types of bees here in Oregon.
Yes, Oregon's cool and all. Isn't weed also legal? Blue Star Dabs; ha. 'Stops itching fast; ringworm, tetter, psoriasis. Blue Star Ointment.'...Hash Bro.s, Beehive, and Rhino extracts; research!
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): 7-6-19 SA Market + garden trip to plant new zuc's. I was on pain pills and very helpful! My Cherokee lettuce is extra-ordinary!..As of September; ehhh.
Life with Static Girl: We did Fern Ridge fireworks on 7-4-19; woo hoo...She's been watching tv shows (Bones) in her room, because I am so hard to watch tv with...By 7-19 her birthday shopping for me was complete; as she provided me a My Pillow and new pair of insoles...7-27-19; it was her idea to go see the Japanese Obon Festival in Eugene...She is my vegan chocolate mint cookie!..She is rebuilding my computer, because my computer has been sick since 2016...
No FCP, No ex's, no Dr.'s, no gymnasts, no other women at all, sorry: Well, I did short-stalk a RED hot (proud) mom on Facebook for 5 minutes before I got frozen out of whiney Jew bitch Anne Frank's Facebook neighborhood again...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: the news; ha...I look forward to the coming "Hey; let's have G7 at Doral or Mar-A-Lago" jokes; worldwide conflict of interest-earners, Florida's shaped like a dick already, everybody always thinks things through really well in south Florida, there's very little cocaine or corruption down there currently (ha), at least we're not Chicago, etc.
A thought to take with you: "No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public." H.L. Mencken
"Albert Einstein has no inventions, other than some tricky math. He pretzled fluffy theory for fun and profit in opportune times--and good for him. That is what makes him a famous and useful false prophet. And screw anybody who says otherwise."--W. C. Davis (Thomas Edison is up next)
"Daring as it is to question the unknown, even more so it is to question the known."--Machiavelli
Let's Talk About Feelings: stop feeling
Oregon Bumper Stickers: stop reading
Band names: Droopy Figs (Colbert's vacation pictures), Cosmic Plasma (the moon), Petrified Moon Rocks, Condescending Dwarves,
New words? No.
Links to previous Sidebars:
Sidebars 1 - 12 (October '99--April 2000)
Sidebars 13 - 23 (May 2000--March 2001)
Sidebars 24 - 31 (April 2001--November 2001)
Sidebars 32 - 41 (December 2001--September 2002)
Sidebars 42 - 50 (October 2002--June 2003)
Sidebars 51 - 58 (July 2003--February 2004)
Sidebars 59 - 64 (March 2004--August 2004)
Sidebars 65 - 69 (September 2004--January 2005)
Sidebars 70 - 74 (February 2005--June 2005)
Sidebars 75 - 78 (July 2005--October 2005)
Sidebars 79 - 85 (November 2005--May 2006)
Sidebars 86 - 93 (June 2006--January 2007)
Sidebars 94 - 100 (February 2007--August 2007)
Sidebars 101 - 110 (September 2007--June 2008)
Sidebars 111 - 120 (July 2008--April 2009)
Sidebars 121 - 130 (May 2009--February 2010)
Sidebars 131 - 140 (March 2010--December 2010)
Sidebars 141 - 150 (January 2011--October 2011)
Sidebars 151 - 160 (November 2011--September 2012)
Sidebars 161 - 170 (October 2012--June 2013)
Sidebars 171 - 181 (July 2013--April 2014)
Then I took 8 months off...And I'm jumping numbers around, and now it's 2015 anyway, so we're starting over with #200. Why? Because FUCK YOU! That's why.
Sidebars 200 - 210 (February 2015--April 2016)
2016 Sidebars (January 2016--January 2017)
2017 Sidebars (January 2017--January 2018)
2018 Sidebars (January 2018--March 2019)
2019 Sidebars (April 2019--January 2020?)
Slow down, or you're going to miss it!
The
Musical Section
is a list of favorites and opinions--as well as a constant work in progress. It exists as a temptation for you to create your own musical section, and to remind you of how important music (and its presentation) is in your life.
From the "you are here" part of the map, I am W C (also known as TH2, the Overnight Guy, and the cute one). I have a pretty cool voice, I love music, and I belong on the radio.
This is my site.
No, no; hang on a second. We phased out "Media One". For the time being, and time following, you can watch me rant about the news in exactly one place. I gave up on trying to keep the language clean a long time ago:
Would you care if there were a way to get to some of the older personal news items? Be forewarned that part of my point in having a webpage is to have harsh language. Maybe you don't want to go check out my (2005):
Silent Bob (and Jay) have a website! Let the record show that I put a link up to it on the day that I found out about it:
Kevin "Silent Bob" Smith
There's this site where ALL they have is weird news; items you might easily miss if you're not paying attention:
News of the Weird
By the age of 22 I had applications for alternative energy, perpetual motion, and a vision of a massive "Recreation Arena" (sportsbar); nobody cared. By the age of 25 I had written the perfect poem, and was churning out songs and poems for the masses; nobody cared. By the age of 30 I was a professional pinball player, and was redefining Overnight Radio presentation in 3 states. Some people cared, but not the bottom-feeding corporates who took over.
Please remember this; I did not ask to be born. But since I was, I would have been more than happy to help out this pathetic world. However, this pathetic world did not want my help. So; screw the world, and screw the people of the world. You can't die fast enough to please me. But there may be some good news...
The world is long overdue for some massive changes; changes that are going to completely revolutionize your sense of importance. They will be very interesting. It has been so said by many elders of many different cultures:
"May you live in interesting times".
