Watching: Highlander on TNN; wait, make that the Spike Network now. I love the stunts on Jackass--many of them have crawled around in my mind before.
Hearing: The Androids CD is pretty good; the Bad Attitude Everclear doesn't quite compare to Afterglow, or Daydream, but it's still okay. Did I lose my Slowburn Blues CD? No; girlfriend stole it from me, and I had to do a "secret agent reconnaissance-recovery mission" to get it back. She says I lent it to her, but don't believe a word she says!
On the smooth jazz station I heard an instrumental version of Boz Skaggs "Lowdown" that was incredible.
On another day I freaked out and had to come home and play the Cars CD from 1978 ("You're All I've Got Tonight" and "Bye Bye Love"), because "Tower" (the central desk and music base at work) played "Moving in Stereo" (which is the 3rd song, after those first 2). Tower also played a mystery classic rock song that made me think of Argent's "Hold Your Head Up". "Voices; I hear voices..." Where is Russ Ballard when you need him? So we played "Hold Your Head Up" about 10 times.
I do own what is now a 20 yr. old album-recording of Newcleus' "Jam on Revenge" (my tape is from 1985; is that 18 years ago?); remember "Computer Age" and "Automan"? They fucking rocked--for dance music. On the radio we all heard "Jam on it" but that song sucked ass--compared to the first 2. And how long has it been (if we're going to dig through 80's nightmares) since we dug out the old Marrs "Pump Up the Volume" tape? Man that used to be fun; 4 different versions of the same song. It's like my Filter maxi-single, with 4 different versions of "Hey Man Nice Shot". Uh-oh...Okay, now if you KNOW me, then you know what just happened. If you don't know me, then hang on, because now I have to dig out my Filter maxi-single. Shit. Did I sell my "Short Bus" CD for drinking money? That was dumb; or maybe I was really thirsty...
Continuing the Filter wet spot; when leaving work on Sunday, 6-29-03, some cool Black guy with one of those 1000 watt car stereos was cranking out "Hey Man Nice Shot" with heavy duty bass; I was impressed.
And now we're going to do another shout-out for that song (not again). There is good reason why "Hey Man Nice Shot" is my hands-down #1 Alternative song of all time. And I know that YOU have your own favorite Alternative song of all time--and yours is probably an excellent choice, too. I'm not trying to upset anybody by highly praising this CHOICE Filter tune. Here's what I'd like for you to do; go dig out your copy of "Hey Man Nice Shot", and listen to it under headphones, as loud as you can manage comfortably. If you don't own any Filter, then call an Alternative radio DJ with a clue (Good luck, and where IS Sean Dimry when you need him?) and request it. Find your headphones. You are listening to the song right now (under headphones) as PRIMARY entertainment, but I want you to consider how this song would work as BACKGROUND NOISE; at work, at the grocery, in your car, at the gym, at home while you're cleaning house, in the shower, during sex, in the morning when you're waking up--whenever music-listening is important to you--think of how well THIS song would work. Are you paying attention? Have you EVER heard anybody ask to NOT hear THAT song? Black people like it, girls like it, little kids love it, and old people don't mind it. Now I have to sell it to you; not since Queen's "Another One Bites The Dust" has there been a single tune that unifies everybody like this song does. Everybody LIKES this song; everybody. Okay, I'm done.
What I want today: This new job needs to pan out some gold for me; it has moments of brilliance and desperation. I want for JP pinball to work correctly; it has moments of brilliance and desperation. By the way, I'm tired of yo-yo--ing between brilliant and desperate.
New stuff this month or so: State Farm is increasing the monthly charge for bill-paying; those bastards, so we may let them deduct it from checking...I got sick around June 8th, and didn't take it seriously enough; so I'm still not 100% at June 20th. T3 pinball is out there, somewhere, and at this point I'd settle for a good game of T2.
On Thursday, 6-26-03, TPG threw his lying and cheating wife (and the kid that probably isn't his) out of his house. I am not SUPPOSED to go crazy with details, or get excited about ragging on that 3-times proven dumbass bitch--according to TPG. My best friend wants me to continue showing how I am maturing; he wants me to be the bigger person, and JUST MOVE ON--like HE is doing. Maybe; but that ain't no damn fun. And BORING. That's a big fire right there, a BIG fire; and I'm over here with a mini-van full of gasoline cans--ready to start launching and lynching; and here's narul, standing right in front of me, shaking his head, saying "I know you want to; but don't." Did I mention how boring this is?...'that's why I say hey man nice shot...good shot, man'...
What's different here than in college town: An 18-pack of Bud is $10.99 at Circle K; that's like Oglethorpe Package prices back in 1987. A 12-pack of Bud at Osco drugs is $7.29; that's CHEAPER than Oglethorpe Package in 1987 ($7.60). Again; this is all about beer. And now I'm thirsty; shit.
Life with Static Girl: Now that I've done a paired-theme poem for her...and a week later I (brilliantly) compared her to my 6th favorite pinball machine--while proving she is actually the best pinball machine--I would say that I'm pretty happy with her, and that she is seeing good results from me. Could this be our last year in Phoenix? Let's stay for one more! Don't worry, I'll talk her into it.
A thought to take with you: The quote is good, so read the quote before you read who made it, okay?
"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning."--Bill Gates
Watching: I went a whole week with no tv, except "Highlander" and "Pet Psychic" while sitting with my girlfriend on the Warped Tour. An FCP on my panel of experts said to give the Thursday night cartoons on Spike another chance. Maybe...
Hearing: At work we get to hear lots of music (yeah!); much of it is hip-hop that I wouldn't normally listen to, but it beats the crap out of dead silence (anything but country does). There is a song, a hippity hoppity club-dance-rap thing, and it uses the guitar lick from Sweet's "Love is Like Oxygen" for it's bassline. You MIGHT say that I'm a little impressed with it.
Also at work! They play Marrs' "Pump Up the Volume" (of course), and they have a Newcleus song; "Jam On It", and I guessed it (name that tune) in less than 5 seconds. Then I came home and played the whole "Jam on Revenge" tape-- 2 or 3 times in July.
On the smooth jazz station, twice in July I heard Earth, Wind and Fire's "September"--very hard to sing, but a great song to hear while driving. Also, cool jazz has many instrumentals that are really good (yes, and in some cultures they are called "karaoke"). Hey I knew that. They play lots of George Benson, and Grover Washington Jr., too. Also on the smooth jazz station; musical legend Darryl Hall has a (new?) song in heavy rotation, it's called "Cab Driver", and it is exquisite jazz. Smooth jazz is excellent in the car; it will keep you calm and get you home. Rush or Rage Against the Machine (which makes you want to yell and kill people) can make traffic pretty tough. See what I'm saying? I have issues.
At home, I did go back digging through Georgia music; Hollow Creek (Watkinsville), and Cage (Atlanta).
What I want today: I didn't KNOW I wanted a Dodge Viper, and then (while accompanied by my well-dressed agent) I went and looked at one; hmmm. And; a Viper is an American car, unlike the Saab 900 or Porsche 911. Imagine a wimpy LOOKING Dodge Neon with big engine in it--now we're on to something. And then I saw a Dodge Avenger--which is very close to that little "Neon with a bigger engine" scenario I mentioned. What I have not mentioned yet is the Dodge Stealth, and those things are sweet. The Durangos look pretty nice, too; I could be a Dodge guy. But wait a second--before we go skipping over to Dodge City. GMC is still my home team for now; thank you. The new Safaris are worth a double-take. The Yukons are nice; the Sierra is the truck I've always wanted, and aren't "Denali"'s by GMC, too? What I really need to know here is what the GMC "mid-life crisis" sportscar is. Maybe I'll stay a GMC guy. It will be 1 of the 2; I'm staying American.
New stuff this month or so: We may have a slight break in the writing season; TPG coming back, and Pool Guy sneaking around (he can play pinball, too), and JP pinball not keeping itself in shape--these things give me more to focus on. It's already been a great season--but I can't possibly consider it to be completely over. Naaa, we're just taking a break.
The only other woman who could ever compare to my awesome Static Girl is having some east coast "home problems"; in fact, this "female version of me" wants to move out here to Phoenix. When she does, that will pretty much solidify me as "The Man".
The paycheck I got on August 2nd is the largest 2 week paycheck of my life. And it's important for me to pay attention to how I trade my time for money, because my new business is going to give me back my time. Some people are conditioned to "need" their jobs for the stability those jobs can provide. I do not. Remember; when I finally get the money, I will dig a hole and hide from you freaks forever--you'll never see me (or Static Girl) again. Bye.
What's different here than in college town: Saying it politely: There's not a whole bunch of gorgeous women around every corner, distracting you from whatever the hell you were trying to do, and I'm old enough now to appreciate that. Damn I miss Athens.
Life with Static Girl: What I do for her is astounding. What she does for me is inexplicable--though I often try to. She also has been writing and drawing; good for her.
A thought to take with you: "You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it."--Albert Einstein (this is a centerpiece comment for my new business, by the way)
The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes. -- William Davis
Watching: DVD's on my new DVD player that my awesome, dark haired, ninja-stealth-alien-goddess Jurassic Park Girlfriend bought me. My first DVD purchase was "Bull Durham".
Hearing: Last month had a big splash of uh, I don't remember; Bob Seger maybe. This past month has been a Steely Dan Summer; classic rock and smooth jazz have been playing tons.
What I want today: Silence from the masses.
New stuff this month or so: Officially in the business, officially a professional entertainment broker, too.
What's different here than in college town: 18-pack of Miller Lite is $11 in my neighborhood.
Life with Static Girl: She buys more groceries; so I do more cooking and cleaning. Don't tell her, but I'm CRAZY about her. I still brag about her to anyone who will listen.
A thought to take with you: God, no, please; not a Tony Robbins quote:
"Most people fail in life because they major in minor things."--Anthony Robbins
Watching: Man, has tv just fallen completely off the deep end now? I really like the "Highlander" re-runs I watch with Static Girl on the Warped Tour, and I'm waiting for new "Scrubs". Pet Psychic went buh-bye. West Wing will have all new writers if it ever comes back. Yawn. Thank God for football season.
Hearing: On the "morning wood" accoustic/live/rare show, I heard "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind; accoustic "Bring Me To Life" was good, too. Heard Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" at Safeway. Heard Men At Work at the Wild Oats grocery. Finally heard that "Swing Swing Swing" song in Gus, with Static Girl. On the way to workout, on 9-8-03, I heard "Much Like Suffocating" (it's actually "Send the Pain Below", by Chevelle) yeah, whatever--and it bled into "Mayonaise"; I was entertained. Later in this Sidebar you may find out why, but I have also played every Fig Dish song I own at least 2wice or more in September.
CD's dug out at home: The mix disc my FCP made/sent me. In the middle of the Fig Dish flood, I also spun the Refreshments "FizzyFuzzyBigandBuzzy". We did some Candlebox and Goo Goo Doll-ing, too, and what about that darn "Demon Night" soundtrack from 1994? It starts with Pantera; can you beat that?
What I want today: To quit one of my many jobs; I just don't know which one. I want insurance at MIC; I want Fig Dish at the record label, and I want financial freedom from Quixtar. How can I quit anything here?
New stuff this month or so: My favorite unknown punk pop band, Fig Dish, changed their name to "Caviar"--and may wind up on E-Rock's record label (they did); now would that be cool? I'm getting better at booking gigs for bands; can't wait to make $500 in a week. My MCI "Neighborhood" was hooked up on 9-2-03. My first Call-Waiting, AND first Caller ID were both TPG; my first free long-distance call was to my FCP on the east coast. Made my first pitcher of iced tea up at TPG's, and then made some Orange tea for here (there are many ways to cut down on soda--if you want to).
Our power company out here, APS, wants to charge us MORE so that they will use SOME solar energy. Static Girl wants to do this, so fine. But why should we be expected to pay MORE for something that costs them LESS, and it's an idea that should have been in place 20 years ago anyway. I say 'screw 'em'. The world's going to end anyway; it's too late to care now, so why bother? Bring back strip-mining, too.
What's different here than in college town: Isn't this old yet? This just in: Arizona is alot different from Georgia. So? 18-pack of Bud is 10.99 at Danny's Car Wash.
Life with Static Girl: She is very tolerant of me, and she appreciates me. By constantly offering praise--and making the effort to care, I really have ruined her for other men. She's putting some natural red in her hair--nice. I've gotten her to communicate what she wants with me, a little. By being with me, she MAKES me better than everyone else. Nyaaa.
A thought to take with you: "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up, and then call the operator." Does anybody else notice that the first thing you are expected to do with the phone is to hang it up? I mean, you picked up the phone to call somebody--and now the auto-voice is telling you to hang up.
Watching: I used to watch tv, too. Now it's just sports. Oh well.
Hearing: ELO! I went on a run through Jeff Lynne-land. Read about the new line-up for the 2nd "A Perfect Circle" album; it should be good.
What I want today: Financial freedom and a machine gun.
New stuff this month or so: I found out that 13,259 "Getaway" pinball machines were created; now I have to find one to play, and eventually own.
Taking a break from the record label; and the bands/bars. They didn't take me seriously, and I didn't take them seriously; so we're taking a break. Let's hope there's more to the story later.
What's different here than in college town: A 30-pack of Bud is just $16.99; a whole case of (very drinkable) Keystone is just $10.
Life with Static Girl: This just in: I like her! I would worship her everyday if I could. I'd write her poems, and love notes; brag about her, cook for her, and continue to show her attention until she just HAD to get up and walk away. Then I'd probably go to the bar. Wait; what were we talking about?
A thought to take with you:
"Take a simple truth, and
Twist it all around.
Make it sound important;
Make it seem profound."
Okay now wait a second. Those lyrics are from the obscure Garbage song "Dog New Tricks"; the 9th song on their first album. But taking simple words and twisting them all around is what good poets and decent radio DJ's are SUPPOSED to do, right? I mean, that's darn sure what I was aiming for.
Watching: Not very much. There are some mothers at work who actually watch reality shows, and TPG himself watches Fear Factor; I think that is so cute. I watch Star Trek TNG with Static Girl (and should watch "Taken" with her on Sunday nights), and continue to tape PTI and Scrubs.
Hearing: My ear has a recessed infection. I'm supposed to be thankful for being able to hear at all. Sure. I say we just amputate the left ear, because nobody likes my idea of spackling it up for good. I should be playing my favorite music everyday, and taking meticulous care of my bad ear. Yeah; "should be". Pull the plug on "sound" today; do I look scared to you? Head X-Rays on my left ear are coming in the last week of November; I'll be deaf soon, and that's good because then I won't even have to ACT like I'm paying attention. I'll get a button that says
"Yes I'm deaf, but I'm still ignoring you."
Wait a second; I bet you want to know what music has refreshed me this month, huh? Okay; I got a copy of the Evanescence disc finally. On the smooth jazz station, I heard an extended version of Dido's "Thank You" that was really sweet. On the same day, an hour later, over on the classic rock station I heard Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love"; those lyrics are so totally me and Static Girl--I never realized that before. This was a good day for music--the day before Thanksgiving.
That same week, I finally heard the first new "A Perfect Circle" single; 'the Outsider'? It was strong; I need to hear it a few more times. I predict that I will own the new 'Circle' disc before Christmas; maybe this week. And when does the new Tool CD come out?
On tv I saw Doug Flutie playing drums with Barenaked Ladies; wow, he can drum, too. I guess Doug Flutie is pretty much, well, God.
What I want today: If you're reading this--that means you're not dead--so I didn't get what I wanted. And I mean ALL HUMANS. I have enough hate to wipe out this entire miserable planet. And don't streamline your hate to specific groups--that's racism. Hate everybody, especially yourself, and let's figure out a way to end this VERY BAD IDEA that was "humans".
Situationally, I want for those near me who have not been kissing my ass lately return to smooching, or my ass won't be around much longer. Kiss it--or miss it, because the world revolves around my ass. Thank you...That's good; that should be a 'thought to take with you'.
New stuff this month or so: Pain and hate have come for a visit; can you tell?
Gay marriages are a big news issue. If 2 people really like each other, then they shouldn't need a piece of paper that says so. Let's ban ALL marriages if you're going to ban gay marriages; see, they're streamlining their hate to gay people (don't do that). That is wrong. Gay people aren't popping out unwanted children every time you turn around--and you have to respect that. I'm FOR gay marriages, but I'm AGAINST marriage in general. See how screwed up I am?
The weather! We had rain for a couple of days, and then we got some cold air, too. Some mornings now are in the low 50's, and that is downright chilly with a short-sleeved shirt.
What's different here than in college town: An 18-pack of Bud, and a bag of ice is $10.99 at Danny's Car Wash. I think there is something very wrong when you can buy beer at a car wash.
Life with Static Girl: I keep screwing up, and she continues to be the most incredible thing in my world. She doesn't want the attention that it takes to appreciate her--even though I WANT to appreciate her. She has proven beyond any doubt that SHE is years ahead of her time. If I deserve her, then it's just barely. And yes, in the greater scheme I AM a pretty cool guy, but SHE is incredible.
A thought to take with you: At work, a really cool Black guy, "M" said:
'Let's not discuss religion at work. Because even if we can get past racism, sexism, and poverty; we'd still have religion seperating all of us.'
(I told you that I worked with some smart people.)
Watching: Are you kidding me? Static Girl said it very well--during the ads for Star Trek TNG on Spike, 'These aren't commercials; these are video games for teenage boys who do drugs'.
But, along with MY PTI and Scrubs, I DO watch Star Trek TNG with Static Girl, and have caught at least 1 episode of her "Mythbusters"--which was very entertaining.
Hearing: Cool music at work. Apparently Gwen Stefani (or all of No Doubt) is out re-doing 70's and 80's tunes; good for her--she sounds great. There have also been full remakes done of ELO's "Evil Woman", K.C.'s "Shake Your Booty", and "Without Love". Maybe all of the songs from my childhood have been covered well by hip hop here and now. Do-overs are fine, but if an artist has talent--shouldn't he express it with his own compositions? Also, I heard Fatboy Slim's "Praise You" at work; that's one of the 3 best songs between me and my silent supermodel of a girlfriend.
We could add a new section to "Hearing"; a single song I have freaked for, and played over 30 times in the past month. We're starting to get over (ha) Taking Back Sunday's "Cute Without the e", and have added to the chaos The Crystal Method's "Busy Child"; #9 from the X-Games Volume 3 CD (Crystal Method also has their "Now is the Time"--millenium mix song on the GT2 soundtrack). My obsession with rock + roll trapped inside dance music (mainly industrial-ish instrumentals) continues.
What I want today: I will (already) have 3 "jobs" that are fun and profitable. I can do this, too. We will get control of money this year.
We're also going to get a handle on being spiritual; laugh if you want to, but it's time for me to hit the buffet table in the sportsbar of the spiritual world--wait 'til they get a load of me.
New stuff this month or so: I made the Top-10 in production at work (months ago); it was a very slow month (Yes, months ago--wasn't that November 2003; and isn't this a new year now?), but Top-10 is a nice honor. Thank you. Did I survive a week in Iowa with my girlfriend's family? Apparently so, and they claim to like me. My Mom sent us a breadmaker! Static Girl has taken possession of it, and life is good.
What's different here than in college town: the VARSITY! I miss the grease of the fries, the plates of onions, and the big red cups! Chili cheese please. And didn't they have some kind of orange frosty thing? Whatever it was, I miss that, too.
Oh yeah; a 30-pack of the BEAST, or BEAST Light (Static Daddy's brew) is only $10 at Albertson's. I used to drink Beast while I parked cars during my first year of college; um, never mind.
Life with Static Girl: I mix (sparingly) with the outside world; she chooses not to. So I hear lots of different people commenting/complaining about their SO's; problems at home, dysfunctionality, cheating and such. Man; we are so lucky to be smarter than all of you. We just hold hands and enjoy the show; neither one of us is plotting an ambush on the other. "Plotting ambushes" (revenge) seems to be what the relationships of today are all about; I'm sorry, but I just don't get it (mid-90's; her name was Cathy--you did it, too). Oh yeah, I remember that. Thank God for my brilliant girlfriend; and let's hope that the breadmaker and I can keep her amused.
A thought to take with you: "An open mind finds open doors; a closed mind just runs in place/walks in circles."--W. C. Davis
Wow; I almost look intelligent. Wait, no, and there was another one--from training. "F" (an excellent motivator at work) was talking about how some people are able to 'effect the day'; it was good. Hang on, I'll find it. Here it is: "To effect the quality of the day is no small achievement." There; see? I can do that. Hey--I'm doing that right now--for you!
Have a great day!
Watching: HA! Football playoffs; and my Pats will win another Superbowl. I've seen some of the previews for the new shows coming up, and I feel sorry for all of you. 20 million people watched the first episdode of that 'big fat obnoxious fiance' thing; what exactly is wrong with you people? The Shield doesn't start back up until March; and where did I-Man (the Invisible Man--on Sci-Fi) go?
Hearing: On the classic rock station they've been doing "rock blocks"; 4 in a row from one band at a time. It's fun to try to predict the next song. Check this out; on the ride away from work on Super Bowl Sunday, I heard my first Pink Floyd "rock block": Time, Have a Cigar, Welcome to the Machine, and Run Like Hell. Life is good.
In my room, it's more of the same songs that are currently caught in my head; Crystal Method (X Games soundtrack #3), FatBoy Slim, Orbit, Taking Back Sunday, and the Androids are the 5 discs in right this second; now you know.
Proving that he is NOT trapped in 70's guitar-rock, the old man (that's me) went to Zia Records and bought the brand new Crystal Method CD "Legion of Boom". Industrial techno-rave; modern, hot, and groove-spooky, baby!
At work there are a few obscure-ish songs that we get to hear at least once a week; Deep Purple's "Burn", Honeydripper's 'Come With Me, to the sea of love' thing, Concrete Blonde's "Caroline", INXS' "Original Sin", and AC/DC's "Problem Child". 'Problem Child' makes me want to hear "For Those About to Rock" really loud; hmmm.
What I want today: I want a hair ribbon that smells like my FCP; hey, look at that.
New stuff this month or so: The "New China" buffet opened in our neighborhood. It's almost as good as the Great Wall. Also; I started a savings account, and I'm accepting donations. My ear itches! Augh! And this is worse than an itch you can't reach; this is an itch I can't touch! Grumble grumble.
What's different here than in college town: 12 Heinekins for $12 at Circle K.
Life with Static Girl:
Hopefully I came up with some kind of good tribute to my astonishingly glorious girlfriend; garnished with unicorns and rainbows. And this is AFTER writing perhaps the BEST poem EVER written for a woman, as I did for her on January 15th, 2004. But right now we're going to do a baby "reality show"; because this really happened--I think it was back in December. Here is a representative microcosm of our entire relationship; seriously, I am NOT kidding...
Static Girl is leaning over the kitchen sink, sipping and trying not to spill a hot beverage. I walk into the kitchen, behind her, and I smell something "citrussy". So I say "Hey baby, what are you drinking there? It smells nice." She says "Hot Tang." I say "That's a great idea; hot Tang. You're MY hot Tang. Get it? Hot Tang?" She turns her head about 2 inches, and with NO expression on her face says "Get away from me."
A thought to take with you: "A man's steel is forged in the fires of adversity". It's from some sales book, and you have to admit that's good.