Watching:In a recent New York poll, if Clinton ran for governer of New York, he would receive around 60% of the popular vote; THIS is an example of how engaging and charismatic he is...
Clinton: horny, and not boring
Bush: boring, and not horny
There was another school shooting in California--near the other school shooting in California. And still, these kids haven't figured out that blowing up a mall would make such a better statement. Seriously, I want to see some psychologist on the news saying "This was not the act of a mad terrorist, this was merely a cry for help from a lonely teen...with an excellent working knowledge of plastic explosives."
I was watching this show on MSNBC called "Hot Pursuit" (about the police chasing/not chasing of speeding cars driven by criminals). And the show was interrupted to go to (you guessesd it) live coverage of a high speed police chase in California.
As good as Byars, Langley and Frohicke were as a subplot on the X-Files, the Lone Gunmen sucks as a tv show.
Elsewhere, it's reruns; nothing but reruns. Come on April!
Why is the Dennis Miller show only a 1/2 hour long?
It doesn't happen every Sunday, but sometimes on Sunday I wake up at 11 am, and drink my 3-5 cups of coffee while watching the 2 Sportsnight reruns on Comedy Central. Everybody in the world should strive to watch Sportsnight reruns on Sunday morning; it may be the single best televisual motivator ever. Check your local listings.
Hearing: I got the Gothic-Industrial Tribute to the Smashing Pumpkins, Buck Cherry, new Moby; also heard a live Smashing Pumpkins CD (with Mayonnaise). And at the last possible moment, Corey let me borrow both of his "Machina 2" Smashing Pumpkin CD's...
I feel like a kid again. I didn't even know that there was an album called "Machina 2"; a Smashing Pumpkins double album that was never sold in stores. It is a free download from the Smashing Pumpkins website. Cool. Imagine the excitement of discovering that there are 25 songs by one of your favorite bands that you've never heard. Awesome! Right now I am on my 4th listening to both CD's. Wow. This would be like finding 2 good Pink Floyd albums that I didn't know about. I am a happy kid this weekend.
What I want today: A big, fat sack of green--and some money would be nice, too.
I heard somewhere that when you want something (like a 19 inch computer monitor), you're supposed to describe it in detail--that crystallizes the thought in your mind. So; I want the $400 black 19 inch (18" viewable) NEC Multisync moniter at Fry's; with the obnoxiously high resolution, and the above-average dot pitch.
Also, I want to open a restaurant named "Hannibal's". Do you see where I'm going with this? I've already written ad copy for a radio commercial:
"Here at Hannibal's, you'll never see stray dogs or homeless people hanging out at the back dumpsters. You'll also appreciate the committment to customer service that our well-paid employees make, or they'll become a menu item, too. Do you have problem children? Not anymore; just bring 'em down to Hannibal's. We specialize in amazing attitude adjustments, AND in 'kiddie stew'. 'Behave, or be food' is our motto. So if you're looking for a nice meal in a very tense atmosphere, with some incredibly quiet children, come on down to Hannibal's; an idea who's time has come."
New stuff this month or so: Writing alot; poems and commentaries.
I have been on a video golf and pinball rampage: Folks, I scored a -24 on the Golden Tee Fore at the Phoenix Steverino's. And, nobody had gotten 40 million on the new Elvira Scared Stiff pinball yet, but I did it 3 times in March.
Rift's herb garden is growing strong; basil buds look very smokable.
TPG got me a pretty, new white Buffalo Bills cap, but not in time to keep Doug Flutie from being traded to the San Diego Chargers. Good luck in the city of school shootings, Doug.
What's different here than in college town: Pay attention: We have a NEW "Taco Stand" in Phoenix, and it's in the same parking lot as the "South Milledge Bi-Lo" of Phoenix.
Very near my current job, there is apparently another "Steverino's" in Phoenix that I need to go check out. I'm going to have to put up some pictures to clarify all of this. I kinda miss Athens.
Life with Static Girl: I'm training her to be a lazy, pissy narcissist. She's a quick study.
Okay, you know how stupid those "relationship quizzes" in the women's magazines are? Well, in the April copy of Maxim, there was a "Commit or Quit" relationship quiz. So I took it for me and Static Girl. Out of a POSSIBLE 360 points, she got 332. This makes her 92.2 % perfect. For her, in this quiz, I would score even HIGHER. My little depressed, pale, introverted, asocial, psychotic girlfriend! I wonder if she knows how lucky she is.
A thought to take with you: I saw a guy at Wal-Mart on a Sunday wearing a "Shut Up Bitch!" t-shirt. I wanted to ask him where he got it, but then I figured out what he would say if I did. So I kept quiet.
I keep reading, watching, and hearing discrepancies about George W. Bush. I even had a few paragraphs in here about the lies he used to get elected president (gee, imagine). But rather than waste our time, I have created a nice little chart down here--displaying the befores and afters of our new "President Wishy-Washy" (okay, okay; Static Girl created this chart; duh, but it was all my idea. Mine, mine, mine.)
|Before becoming president:||After "taking over" the presidency:|
|1. In close elections, a manual recount is the only way to determine the correct result.||1. Stop the Florida recount!!!|
|2. I support a woman's right to choose.||2. He's cut ALL Federal aid for abortions, and now he's being soft on militant pro-lifers.|
|3. We need more guards, and better policing of out borders, because illegal immigration is out of control.||3. We should freely open our borders to all people.|
|4. I'll release all of the government documents on alien spacecraft and EBE's.||4. What documents?|
|5. He said he'd work for the people.||5. He's working for big business.|
What I want today: Rollerblades and pads, maybe.
New stuff this month or so: writing alot, working overtime, sniffing nail polish hardener, losing my place/finding I'm lost,
What's different here than in college town: The level of average stupidity out here is amazing. A kid drowns, or almost drowns, everyday. And there's a couple of crazed driver chases every week; chemical spills are common, and fires! Hell, even without the mad arsonist we have, there're crazy fires everyday. Another summer out here should be fun!
Life with Static Girl: Either she's the best roommate in the world, or I am.
A thought to take with you: Stay alert; this won't be getting any easier.
"Physicians pour drugs of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, into humans of which they know nothing."--Voltaire
Reading: Keys to Health-The Promise and Challenge of Holism (an Edgar Cayce guide). And I heard about another Edgar Cayce book that I may have to get; it's called "A Seer Out Of Season: The Life of Edgar Cayce." Other than that, who reads? I can barely focus at all.
Watching: Tons of worthless tv season finales; not one worth mentioning. As part of her belated birthday celebration, I took rift to see "Shrek" at the new theaters; I even bought her some lemonade.
Hearing: There are many new CD's that I want, but don't yet have; like the new Everclear, Depeche Mode, REM, Aerosmith, and there are a couple of others too. But when a new Tool CD comes out, that's when it's time to stop dicking around with "would of, could of, and should of", and you go buy the new Tool CD. So I did. There is only one problem with the new Tool CD: it's #1 on the Billboard charts.
On the classic rock radio station here, I tuned in midway through Heart's "Magic Man"; wow. That song, and "Crazy on You" both deserve to be also-rans in the musical section. And then, Charles (this guy I work with) sold me his Heart's Greatest Hits CD for $1. Life is good.
What I want today: some inspiration. I'm jaded.
New stuff this month or so: The average age in America right now is 35.3. Well, TPG just turned 36, and I will in 3 months. So we are now officially: OLD as dirt.
Indy 500, varoooom! Rather than try to be inspired to write, I went drinking. My picks for the race were: little Al (Al Unser Jr., duh!), rookie Helio Castroneves, and Scott Goodyear. Scott and Al had early showers, but the Raging Rookie actually won the thing! He's young, he's good-looking, he's enthusiastic, and he's great for the sport; the Overnight Guy gives Helio 2 thumbs up for winning the Greatest Spectacle in Racing.
Pearl Harbor: the Titanic type of movie thing. I read in the paper that there's this Jap out here who's afraid that the movie will rekindle hate for the Japanese. Well, the movie might not, but I can try. Back in 1941, with a LATE declaration of war--almost no warning, the "Japs" crushed the Pacific side of the American navy. After we dropped 2 big bombs on them 4 years later, we did something unprecedented. We went to Japan and rebuilt their country back up--far better than it had ever been. In all my 35+ years of being alive, I've never heard one Jap say 'thanks' for that. All I ever hear is 'you Yankees drop big bombs on us; you bad people'. Screw them. So; to all you little Asian finger-pointers, I say "Fork you, chopstick; you started the fight." Let's go bomb them again, and scream 'you're welcome'.
What's different here than in college town: I could say so many things. In college town, you kind of expect for people to have a measure of intelligence; you know, "College Town". Out here, you expect people to be stupid, and they are, so it doesn't bother you as much. Hey look; another moron.
Life with Static Girl: She hates that I keep collecting plastic cups. She says
we have too many cups. She says that if we didn't have so many coffee
mugs--THEN we could have some more cups. Folks; wow, she is definitely
learning how to talk to me; because we are NOT throwing away ANY coffee
mugs. Maybe I'll, um, throw away some plastic cups.
In the mail, this credit card place, Visa, they were gonna give me a credit card. No application fee, no annual fee, totally unsecured; it looked really good to me. Boom. Static rips it from my fingers and throws it away. She says that if I keep my job for another month that I will get many more credit card offers. I'd been waiting 15 years for one good offer, and she snatched it from me. That was cold.
A thought to take with you: Right before we do ANOTHER incredible
thought from the life of Edgar Cayce, I would like to point out that the
answer is not drugs, poison, or disease, but that:
"Worry and fear (are) the greatest foes to (a) normal healthy physical body." Edgar Cayce--reading # 5497-1
What I want today: More money, more food, more sleep, and DSL--or just some high speed internet service.
New stuff this month or so: Code Red Mountain Dew is like mild, tongue-staining red cough syrup--with a monster kick! Yum. I can't find a new Snickers Crunchy candy bar. Del Taco does 3 tacos for $1, and I can eat some tacos. Damn I'm hungry.
There's a new bar in my world, Pink E's; it's big.
The Eatsa Pizza in our neighborhood finally opened.
TPG has his very own McDonalds; I'm so proud.
According to State Farm's calculations, 7th street and Bell road (where I live--in Phoenix) is the 4th worst intersection in the country for wrecks and stuff. Wow. However, in a survey of our own intersections, the city of Phoenix doesn't rate 7th street and Bell in the top 10. Pretty cool, huh?
What's different here than in college town: Hmmm. Since people are so much dumber out here, and since there are so many non-white, non-english speaking teenagers with children, and since all these other idiots are so unreliable, a decent-looking white guy with a good voice is a commodity.
Life with Static Girl: She and I continue to grow into each other. I can't imagine being any happier with a girlfriend (without causing complications).
For the beginning of July, I have lost the Static Queen for a week of east coast sight-seeing. It will hurt a little, but I will be productive and miss her for all of the right reasons. snif.
A thought to take with you: Be glad that I am an easily amused under-achiever. If I were not both of these things, then I would have caused alot of damage by now.
You may have sensed my current disappointment with network television. I cannot believe (honestly) what the state of television has come to. Are we really as dumb as these reality shows and car/food/shoe ads? I am ready to start watching pay channels solely, and view occaisional dinosaur reruns of Roseanne and Northern Exposure--with the sound turned off during commercials.
It may be too late to save tv.
Hearing: The 2 best songs on the radio are still that "Hanging By a Moment" by Lifehouse, and the new Depeche Mode single "Dream On".
I have been going out too much to realize that I haven't been listening to my music enough. I'm going to change that as of right now. Don't get me wrong; the 2 Garbage, 2 NIN, and the Depeche Mode tribute CD's in my player right now are incredible, but I need some crossover. I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I have not been utilizing my resources very well. Perhaps my current depression is, oops, started early.
What I want today: Perhaps my current depression is of my own doing (duh). I need to feel some life-passion. If I'm just going to sit and mope and complain then I might as well die...I keep the happy front up there for most people to see, but my alone time has been more like the 'tears of a clown' lately. That's not right, by the way. Fuck other people; I'm SUPPOSED to be my happiest when I am alone! It's time to re-evaluate. Man, I've got to stop trying to do self-therapy during these things.
Oh yeah; what I want today. The world is ready for the movie about Bulldog 103.7 from 1995 to 1997. Think of "Empire Records" as a radio station, except in the end we do get sold out to corporate radio--and die painfully. That easily could be the movie of the year.
I want to write something for Cheri; but not just anything. Hell; I've written her a few really good poems, I've "Commented" on how great I think she is, and I brag about her to everybody who'll listen. Blah blah blah. But if she really IS the ideal woman that I think she is, and if she and I really ARE in the ultimate relationship of the future, then there must be some literary way to express my happiness with her that all you OTHER dumbasses can understand. Honestly, I haven't even formed a good outline of exactly how I'm going to do...whatever it is that I'm going to do...yet. But I will say this much: I am the BEST poet I have ever known; bar none. So...if there ever was an adventurer going off on some kind of unknown "Indiana Jones and the Romance Metaphor Epic", I'd want the pen in MY hand--and that's where it is.
New stuff this month or so: The news says that there's a meth lab in every neighborhood...and every week another meth lab blows up...and all the neighbors say 'I didn't know that was a meth lab'. It's like a really bad comedy routine; ooo look, another kid drowned in a pool. "But we only turned our back for a minute." Yeah, yeah; whatever.
I'm depressed; I'm drunk. I'm depressed; I'm drunk. God damn, you'd think I was still in Athens.
What's different here than in college town: What did I just say? Jeez, well there's lots more jobs--so you can always put your hands on your hips and say "What are you gonna do, fire me?" Maybe that's part of the problem...I've got a really cool job that I want to keep, and I'm not acting like it.
Life with Static Girl: Apparently it's very good; you should be so lucky.
A thought to take with you:
"...Run, rabbit run
Dig that hole, forget the sun
And when, at last, the work is done
Don't sit down, it's time to dig another one."
What I want today: Cans and candles; muscles and meditation. But the most important thing I want is to remind you that:
"This is just a ride.". (Bill Hicks)
New stuff this month or so: On the weak Addam's Family pinball at Gallaghers, I toured twice and more than doubled the old high score with my 412 million. A 213 million game of Medieval Madness got me crowned again, but that's not impressive. When the game was broken, and I still got 50 million and won a game on Medieval Madness; THAT was impressive.
At work this week, during lunch, 3 of our guys were in a car wreck. One walked away, the driver walked out of the hospital the next day, but the passenger Kelly fractured a vertebra in his neck--and had to have eye surgery before being fitted for a halo brace. So remember folks: If you're driving alone and you want to get all crazy--then you're just stupid. But if you have people in the car with you and you get all crazy--then you're totally irresponsible.
Also at work; I got a raise. Yay.
What's different here than in college town: The laws of supply and demand are reversed; everybody is a supermarket out here.
Life with Static Girl: She has been a whirlwind of verbal exchange and affection lately. Okay; not really. But it does seem like we've been kissing more. I'm not sure, but I think that she likes me.
A thought to take with you: (Bumper Sticker)
We keep feeding them
They keep breeding them
Also; at some point in the past month I was talking to the only guy at work who is older than me, and I said that "everybody smokes". He quickly wanted to correct me by saying "But I don't smoke.". I felt the wave, the rush, the 'high', that something profound was about to come out of my mouth--and I said:
"Everybody smokes. The only question is if it is first hand, second hand, or third hand; but EVERYBODY smokes." After a few minutes of serious contemplation, he did agree with me.
What I want today: I'd like to discuss the future with Osama. Seriously, while George W. Bush is trying to make the "nothing" that he's doing look like something, I wonder if the Taliban could benefit from a charismatic white guy with a cool voice? I mean; I don't wear a turban, or have too many vowels in my name--I could essentially 'hide in plain sight'. See? If they want to offer me a pile of guns, bombs, and these "70 dark-eyed virgins" I keep hearing about, then I will definitely listen to their game plan. Hell, I bet they at least HAVE a plan.
New stuff this month or so: I am officially broke. All businesses have suffered a hit, and I doubt that the telemarketing profession will get a similar $15 billion bailout. My latest "should have been" $450 check was just under $300. Send money.
The harder of the 2 alternative radio stations out here has been sold, and their fate is unknown. Predictions lean toward making it a Spanish station; and that's just muy fucking bueno with me. Maybe this is my cue to go and offer my dick to the girlie-alt station.
After weeks of saying that they didn't know where he was, the Taliban now says that they are constantly moving Osama bin Laden, under heavy security, to keep him safe. And, obviously, we are not smart enough to look for any heavily secured convoys bouncing around Afghanishtray.
Has it really been 3 paragraphs since I ragged on that sissy, Bush? I apologize. President Bush is a short, pathetic, penis--envying pussy. I'd like to declare the same fake war on ol' Georgie that he's got going on terrorism. Except that I would kick his little whiney ass, and put Colin Powell in charge of "Operation Ashtray" (and yes, I know you're not s'posed to start a sentence with the word "except"; bite me). In fact, why hasn't Colin Powell ALREADY kicked little W.'s butt yet? And, where are the first daughters getting sloshed now? I have questions.
What's different here than in college town: I miss Steverino's wings; but I did find a neat little pizza, wings, and salad buffet near TPG's McDonalds.
Life with Static Girl: She is ice cream for my soul. Damn, I'm hungry.
A thought to take with you:
"Dangerous Side Effects"
That could be a band name, or what happens after chemical weapons hit, or a good reason not to do PCP.
I also found this quote by some lady, I think, about how the media really IS controlled by the CIA; and they "choose" what to tell us about and stuff. I'll dig it out and bitch-slap it up here later; for now you just wave off the SCG as part of my torrid imagination, and keep mumbling "Dangerous Side Effects" over and over.
Okay, here's that thing, by that lady, about the government-approved media:
In a 1988 speech before CIA officials at Langley, Virginia, Katharine Graham (head of the Washington Post) stated:
"We live in a dirty and dangerous world. There are some things that the general public does not need to know and shouldn’t. I believe democracy flourishes when the government can take legitimate steps to keep its secrets and when the press can decide whether to print what it knows."
(This quote has since become a classic among CIA critics for its belittlement of democracy and its admission that there is a political agenda behind the Post’s headlines.)
Have I mentioned lately that corporate radio sucks? Luckily, people now understand the 3 hour music loop--and expectations remain extremely low. Remember how the better alternative station was to be replaced with Spanish news? Well, it became Spanish love songs instead. However, the Edge (alternative) lives on at a new frequency, complete with the same personnel. As it turns out, one of the 2 hip hop poppity rap crap stations was the one that got axed. Wow, there might actually be a God.
What I want today: I still want a 5000 watt, 5000 listener station that I can work 60 hours a week at minimum wage for. It's not for greed; we're talking about the proverbial "play within a play" where something becomes important because you make it important. I lay out of my current job because I don't make it important; it doesn't give me a rush; there is no 'love of chore' there.
New stuff this month or so: Well, I told you about the big radio switch. And I mentioned game 7 of the World Series (going on as I type here). I'm broke, and Jeremy finally pissed Paul off.
We got a brand new dishwasher, and a new door to our 'fridge, because our apartments love us.
What's different here than in college town: What am I, a fucking tour guide? We have lots of hot teenage girls out here, but most of them have children. At least in Athens the college girls realized that having children would make going to class much more difficult.
Life with Static Girl: She is absolutely wonderful. She comes from quality parents; she has style and class. She is a wonderful roomate and girlfriend. She wants me.
A thought to take with you: Every expert on every "panel of experts" is just some little sold out 'would be' or 'has been', and probably does not deserve your attention. Take every message at face value, even this one, and recognize that it is all for entertainment purposes only.
Everybody is full of shit. Listen up, or don't. Who cares?
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