Sidebars 75 - 78


July 2005

Reading: My "Master Closer" book, the newspaper + want ads, lots of want ads.

Watching: Missed my chance to tape Denis Leary's "Lock and Load" at the beginning of June--I'm still pissed. "Out There" tv is a pretty good little conspiracy show--links on their 'past guests' websites will drive you to drink. "Rescue Me" finally came back; it's good, but weaker now--like 4th year X-Files. The History Channel is going nuts with UFO shows; many I have seen, many others I have not.

Hearing: AS IF I didn't already have too much music to buy and review, I saw an interview with Billy Corgan talking about his new CD (a solo effort, with some help from friends) "The Future Embrace" that apparently came out here on 6-21. Yo B. C.; congrads, but I don't even have the new NIN yet. A couple of days later, B. C. is ready to reunite the Pumpkins. Wow.
Right. So many new CD's, so little time.
At the Pita Pit in Portland (first trip)--the Cure's "Lovesong".
Bowie at the Dollar Store; yeah, I know--it seems wrong to me, too.
During my first 2 bil game of Twilight Zone pinball in Oregon, a Zep jukebox night had "Since I've Been Loving You".
During my (location) high score of 2.8 billion on that Twilight Zone, I won 5 games on my first game; wound up playing over 3 hours of pinball for that 50 cents. Ha. Big C got to play for free, too; I kept on winning.
My monthly relationship with Caviar: All of the poker guys bob their heads to "OK Nightmare" on the jukebox at the bar. The casual idiot does not realize just HOW good that song is--you have to hear it a few times. I play it every morning before work, ha, and sing it all day. Even when I forget to play it in the morning--I still sing it all day. Check their website,, and see for yourself--these guys play $10-$15 gigs EVERY week in Chicago. I'd pay $100 to see them once!

What I want today: More money than I know what to do with; some steady work, and a pony. And pain pills--I always need more pain pills. Free health care would be nice, and some food stamps. Time to check in. I'd like to work in a gym--kill 2 birds with 1 rock. Hmmm.

New stuff this month or so: Saw my first flying airplane in big O, in Portland.
Started work in a phone room; let the new soap opera begin. Still broke and selling CD's, though. And I'll sell more. DVD's are next.
"Battle of the Mom's" is set for the last week of July; I'm scared already.
Considering my initials, and my age, it's a wonder nobody else thought of the nickname "WD-40" for me...Mailed my resume to a local radio station looking for an evening jock here; I could actually morph into WD-40.
Some website somewhere talks about calculating your true age; turns out that one of the best things you can do, especially when you're a little pissy (or alot pissy--like me) is to get even more sleep. Sure. I mean; if you're all pissed off, then what are you staying awake for? Makes perfect fucking sense to me. Fuck all of you. G'night.
Right at the end of June; I quit my job, got another job, got most of the old job back, got offered another job, and I'm still depressed. I'm the busiest depressed drunk you'll ever know. Is Subway hiring? I'm hungry.
Media One: (Don't get me started on the convicted, sentenced, and then LET THE FUCK OUT child-molesters freely grazing new victims...while recreational pot smokers fill up our prisons. Hey; read your own fucking newspaper.) The president obviously lied (British memos), and tricked us into a war we can't win. The world can't sustain itself; oil is up (or past) $60 a barrel now, and time is running out for you to place your bets on: a TRUE terrorist attack, another US government-sponsored 9-11 thing, or some manipulated weather catastrophe blowing us all to shit. Grab a plate--the buffet is open.

What's different here than in college town: Buses run till 10:30 at night, and they run on Sundays here; that's nice.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: We had a deer walk right down our apartment sidewalk; she was huge, and not scared of humans. That was incredible. Deer hang out near where I work now, too.

Life with Static Girl: She LIKES being referred to as my inflatable girlfriend (and my FCP thinks that's hilarious) together in cramped quarters might work--as long as I'm washing dishes everyday...can't kill them, so I have developed the "spider relocation program"...the purple explosion is growing like kudzu in the rain...My incredible girlfriend has been ever so slightly more affectionate since I, what? Did I quit sulking? No. I got a little more active, quit obsessing about my depression, and, maybe I quit trying to pay so much attention to her (dude, you finally got a job). Yeah, that probably helped, too...I introduced tater tots to our menu, and she really likes them (there aren't many new foods to bring in to the house of a skinny, non-smoking vegan). She did very well, however, when she made the incredible avocado dip; her dip was even better than tater tots! I owe both of the female inspirations in my life so much! My Static Girl's first Caviar album song would be "Sugarless".

Speaking of my FCP, we really should pay a nice tribute to her. Why not?
Wit and Wisdom from the other most incredible woman in the universe: (No; nice thought, but you're trying too hard. Your girlfriend only gets 4 words.)
My FCP has this for me: (much better--it'll do for now) The first link on her yahoo profile is to MY website; how cool is that? Then, hang on--it gets better, she added "FCP" as a nickname on her profile, too. Killer! Rather than do ANY kind of "woe is me" mope, or sadness of any kind; she is ATTACKING her new life--and good for her! And she recommends that I rechannel my unused passion for writing poetry (this year) into some other form of personal growth. Damn; she's good, and she's right, too! She suggested playing chess--that's a really hard game, but I'm learning. My FCP's first Caviar album song would be "Flawed Like a Diamond".

A thought to take with you: "The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while."--Albert Einstein


August 2005

Reading: I ain't reading or writing a damn thing. Bleah. Humph. Phooey. Wait; do conspiracy websites count for anything? E-mail? I still get e-mails from ruffled fat girl feathers everyday; silly little bitches with no clue. Some guy wants to argue the biblical stance of capital punishment with me--I don't even know how this shit got started; like I wrote the bible or something. Eye for an eye, bitch.
In the paper, I read that the Iraq war costs us around $7 billion a month. Cha-ching.

Watching: What do I tape weekly? PTI daily, History Channel UFO shows (Monday), Rescue Me (Tuesday), and that's it. A+E is going to have some new show called Criss Angel "Mindfreak" that looks okay--it is okay, but just okay. John Larroquette might have a new show, and (babe my age) Lea Thompson might have a new show, too. Or maybe they're movies. I don't know. I feel pretty "dumbed down" already.
There's a Pepsi commercial with some okay enough looking guy walking and drinking a can; (still an incredibly hot mama, AND my age) Cindy Crawford joins a crowd of women following this guy. It should be ME that Cindy's following.
The dumbing down of America is complete. There's no more dumbing down necessary; proof? Oh I've got your proof, Mr. Peabody; surf the channels between 9 and 10 am Thursday morning. Jeezus; we pay money for this shit?
Watching and Hearing; There's a local cable channel here (14) with some pretty well-themed music shows; it's called Music Choice (consider how close we are to great music cities Seattle and Portland). The promotions for the recent Garbage concert/interviews/old videos made it look like a pay-per-view thing, but it wasn't! All hail Garbage; it was a fantastic show; old videos, live performances, interviews, and a subtle admission that Beautiful Garbage was their weakest link.
Saw another show on MTV, maybe "Driven", about Greenday--that was pretty cool.
Saw Garbage on Leno, doing "Bleed Like Me"; sweet (you'd almost think that we were pretty big Garbage fans here).

Hearing: Tons of Crystal Method (but not the new one yet), "Day 3..." Knapsack, e-mailing my FCP sent me on a "3 Strange Days" School of Fish run, 80's tunes from Hell, my FCP's "Wild and Crazy" mix, Best of Sugarloaf, Undertow Tool, 3 Garbage discs (gee--imagine), 2 Caviar discs, much Depeche Mode, Siamese Dream, Matrix sdtrk. Yawn.
I hear about 6 or 7 minutes of blues every morning on the neat little community radio station run out of the back of a high school.
Apparently for this G-8 concert, the one that did NOTHING to benefit Africa, Pink Floyd reunited. Being that they are/were my favorite band of all time, you would think that I would have known all about this...Was Syd Barrett there? Was Nick drumming? Did Roger and Dave sing/play together at the same time--on the same stage (bet they didn't sing into the same microphone). Is Rick running the sound--or who IS running the sound? How many people were actually on the stage? When was this shit on tv; man, I don't know nothin'. Fuck this; I'm playing my "Budokan" Cheap Trick CD. "Mommy's allright, Daddy's allright...", ahhh--this, I understand.
Curtis Salgado is from Oregon; I learn cool shit everyday.

What I want today: ANY radio gig, even one that doesn't pay. Just wait.

New stuff this month or so: Another job (How many is that now; 6?), and then another job offer. Yo-yo-ing between jobs 4, 5, and 6. I like the 7 minute commute, and air-conditioning at job #5; good coffee, free fountain drinks, and hand-sanitizer, too. There's a screaming rooster in the parking lot, as well. And I get to sit with the crazy people who tell dick jokes. Job #5 is pretty messed up--I should hang out there for awhile. We're sticking with #5 for now.
I opened another little box of soy milk, and the protective seal was broken. Nobody in their right mind would drink from a broken-sealed box, right? I mean, it could kill you. I smiled big, prayed for poison, and took 6 massive slugs straight from the box. Weeks later, and I'm still breathing. This sucks.
A terrorist sleeper cell was discovered in Lodi, Ca recently; nobody tells me anything. Fuckin'; sell ME a bomb, dude. Nobody'd ever expect it.
I got banned from that house card game for 'profanity and drunkenness'. Can you believe that shit? Bitch didn't have enough beer in her 'fridge anyway.
My Mom came to visit; perhaps you heard about this cluster fuck. I don't know why she has to keep trying to "fix" everything that doesn't "fit" into her little boxes of understanding. Did I ever care? Because I certainly don't now. Everything to her is a college class, a license, and law-learning. I'm going to stop now, because it's all just stupid--and there is no possible way I am related to that silly, round woman. I had plans to live with her again someday; ha! What the hell was I thinking?

What's different here than in college town: Imagine a world with no hypothetical situations.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: The fucking carpet. Hang on; I'll explain...So we have this new carpet in our tiny townhome. It is apparently really good carpet--it has TONS of extra fuzz--perhaps so that it will last more than a couple of years--unlike dumbass Arizona carpet. The problem is that my vaccum cleaner chokes on all the extra fuzz; so we have to stop every 5 minutes, and scrape out the tube with a coathanger. I want a Singer Lazer Storm vaccum. Have you seen that infomercial? I still want a Magic Bullet, too. Infomercials prove how dumbed down we have become. Watching them doesn't say much for me; true, but what does that say about the state of tv?

Life with Static Girl: With shorter hair, she is even better! She leaves me notes of chores to be done, especially after I didn't clean the tub to her approval. We're both worried about "Battle of the Moms". Jalapenos, onions and green peppers; oh my! (Not.) No cheese, either. She'll argue that being vegan (extreme vegetarian) IS a good choice--I'm not so sure. She claims to not know who Hank Azaria is--but she's the one who reminded me of his name. During Battle of the Moms, we're driving down and looking for the indie theater; Static Girlfriend mumbles a street name, 2wice, and then says 'You know; like "boisterous".' I said "Boisterous? Give me another word." The street was "Pearl", and she had said 'like oysters'. My selective hearing strikes again.

My FCP has this for me: She bitches at me occaisionally, and I deserve it. She has her own new friend; a "working project" girl in her own sick relationship. It's a car wreck to be gazed upon and think 'I'm glad that's not me.' Maybe I need a new friend, too. Then "working project" girl left town with the guy who beats her. Yawn. My section boss at work plays lots of Bloodhound Gang; many songs remind me of her. I have to do a better job of keeping her "in the loop" of my soap opera; I call it my "hula loop".

A thought to take with you: "As of today, after 25 years, I am no longer a Republican. We're poisoning our planet through gluttony and ignorance. We're teetering in the brink of self-inflicted insolvency. We're selfishly and needlessly sacraficing the best of a generation. And we're lying about it. Enough is enough. I quit." --James Chaney (you can read Chaney's entire column at many websites, such as;;;; and


September 2005

Reading: My money book (finding money, getting money, where and how to ask for money, grants for money; money money money); I'm going to get some money. The newspaper--editorials (ha), the "Eugene Weekly" (their version of the "Flagpole"), and a dabble here and there, ha. You don't need to know what kind of Pagan sacrafice or anarchist cookbook I'm reading, motherf-cker. Just watch your reality tv and shut up.

Watching: Tv is so bad, and we are all so dumbed down that it takes some shock value and charisma to even make the radio worth listening to. Wait; no. I mean; it takes shock value and charisma to make tv worth watching--that's why I like "Rescue Me". I mean; since televisual entertainment all a fake bunch of crap anyway, you might as well enjoy some dark humor, cussing, blood, sex, drugs and death. I oughta write promos for the show. They could pay me in pain pills.
I also checked out my girlfriend's 2 new shows; the haunted houses spend-the-night parties (Most Haunted?), and this 4400 thing. Not bad.
On tv is the O'Reilly Factor, showing footage of a Texas sherriff who is so inundated with illegal immigrants that he just drives them in trucks to the Greyhound bus station--so they can get out of his town, and go wherever in our country they want (or wherever Wal-Mart and Tyson Foods have ordered them). Is that great? Do you love our country? See; now if we were to cook and eat a nice large group of illegals--that might deter them a little. Immigrant soup...Hey; don't start taking good advice from me now. Damn, I'm hungry...But if you DO start cooking, then I want a free invite to the bar-b-que. Filet away. Stew on that, bitch.
On Angel; Angel and Spike fight for a chalice...Spike wins, and drinks from said chalice. The liquid inside is...Mountain Dew. I like this show.
Have you seen this "Mind of Mencia" on Comedy Central? That's a good show--he f-cks with everybody. On Southpark I saw Ronnie James Dio. More movie previews have ELO music in them.
There is no WGN cable channel here in this state--so I've been missing my Unexplained Mysteries show. Then I found it here, locally, Saturdays on Fox. That's the best conspiracy shit ever. My regular Monday night History Channel UFO shows are okay, too. The one dealing with the presidential hushes was quite informative.
"Cruncheweesey" in a Taco Bell commercial; nice.
Movies: Marching Penguins was great, The Ring was good, House of 1000 Corpses was already rented, then there were 2--it was good enough (bring on the Devil's Rejects!). Dogtown and Z-Boys (excellent), Resident Evil--Apocolypse (ehhh), The Ring 2 was a joke.

Hearing: I love all of my CD's--I have some great ones. But I'm still sitting here with no new NIN, no new Crystal Method, no new Weezer, etc.; this whole 'being broke' thing sucks. Wait; I bought the new "With Teeth" NIN with some unused party money (my FCP will be so proud!). Then I also got the new "CSII" Crystal Method, too. Me happy.
Broke-ass rentals from the library: Chevelle (rocks!), Soul Asylum, Ned's Atomic Dustbin; L7 'Bricks', and Social D's 'Between Heaven and Hell'; um, and lots more. 5 at a time--too many to mention.
Music at work! Music at work! Thank God for music at work! I play DJ, and change the station whenever they go to a commercial break--so we hear a little mix of everything. If they're all on commercials, we turn the music off for a few minutes. Blow me.
Stevie Ray Vaughn is the compromise between country, rock, and blues--all at once. Everybody LOVES it! How cool is that? See; you like him, too.
Some lady has done a country remake of REO's "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore". Have you heard this yet? ANY slow or medium rock song COULD be made into a country tune. I'm intrigued, and perhaps a bit disenchanted. Okay, okay, but wait. A country fan could argue that ANY fast country song is ALREADY rock and roll; and I DO like the fast new country songs. This is an interesting discussion. More country: Popular country song right now, "Gotta Be Something More", sounds exactly like Georgia girl Jennifer Nettle's voice (Soul Miner's Daughter, and solo).
Some old guy at work was air-guitaring and lip-synching Heart's "Crazy On You". He was all into it, and making people laugh. Oh wait; that was me.
Also at work: Oldies! "Thunder Island", "Baby Come Back" (Is that Darryl Hall? No; Ohio Players. Shit.), "Driver's Seat". Damn I'm old.

What I want today: To get financial assistance for my back pain, drugs for my back pain, to be working out again (for my back pain).
Hey; I don't give a rat's ass. But I'd be a better consumer, and a more productive member of society if I had more money. It ain't like I want to hoard it, invest it, or even put it in a stupid savings account (yet), motherhumper. I WANT to SPEND it; at the grocery, at CD World, at local restaurants, at the auto shop, at the computer/electronics store, at the vaccum store, and apparently at the gas pump (keep reading). See? You should make some $ come my way. Or not. Did I mention that I don't give a rat's ass?
I'd also like some authentic hot Chinese mustard--like the shit you get from the Kowloon's delivery.

New stuff this month or so: Did I turn 40? Do I feel old? Old and broke. Shoot to thrill. Currently trying to get some assistance.
I need to, and will be, spending more time alone. Flying solo? I HAD a pinball buddy. And I appear to be the ONLY person who works out in the little dumpy apartment fitness center. It's my PFTF (private fitness training facility). Good for me. I'm inventing new exercises, and hurting in new places.
Volunteering is supposed to relieve stress and help depression. So I donated to the United Way, and then I volunteered my services at a community-based thing. So I'm all in to the community here. Still stressed and mean, though.
And there will be NO more cow-tipping in the Yahoo chat rooms! Those same (?) small-minded people have now caused my website to be in jeopordy. No more "harsh" language here? Kiss my hairy White ass, you little bitches. Oh; does my anger make you "uncomfortable"? Awww. I am the downfall of humanity, you know. Ha. After getting caught in a web of rumors and misquotes from bar whores who obviously need hobbies (or at least girlfriends); f-ck them, I have quit partying almost completely. You know what? F-ck Yahoo, and f-ck Earthlink, too. F-ck all of you. Yank this stupid f-cking website full of angst off the internet RIGHT NOW, motherf-ckers--I'll just go find a REAL way of letting out my anger (Gee; where would I start? Hmmm.). Would that make all of you happier? I am reminded of a great line from a new Garbage tune; "Hey baby, can you bleed like me?". It's not me hiding, talking about people behind their backs, or accusing them of randomly committed crimes. F-ck those worthless female f-cks. Subject change! Have a nice day.
So I've been eating this hot-as-shit Chinese mustard. Turns out that this mustard is made in...Beaverton, Oregon? I guess they must have some major Asian influence / Chinatown thing happening over there in old Beaverton. Not.
At 2.65 a gallon on 8-29-05; that's 60 f-cking dollars to fill up my gas tank? I sure am glad we're fighting this fake war to keep gas prices down. I giggle at the people who believe the president.
Finally, on 8-30-05, I have now seen a doctor about my back situation. I even went to work early, then went back to work after the doc appointment. I am pretty amazing, you know. Better drugs to follow.
It's big when you quit stuff: I've quit going to bars to drink and play poker. Quit eating McDonald's food, and quit drinking from my 3 favorite plastic cups from Athens.

What's different here than in college town: Springtuckey is actually alot like college town; good bars, good pinball machines, weird people. I heard there IS a laundromat in Springtuckey with Lord of the Rings pinball--I could wash there.
What's DIFFERENT here is that people do take recycling seriously.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: 99 freaking degrees; and up here it's WITH humidity, and WITHOUT air-conditioning? This is a crock. At least Arizona had air-conditioning.
More: I like hot peppers, okay? So I get jalapenos at the grocery; they taste like cucumbers. Where is the heat? No problem; I'll buy some serrano peppers--they always make me cry...always! 8 serrano peppers carved all over some nachos--that's just stupid. Except; where is the heat?!? Who do you have to blow to get some hot peppers in this town? Hello? I've never been to the next step above serrano peppers; what is it? The hot sauce in the bottles is pretty good, yum; but what is the pepper problem here? Golly. According to the produce girl at the grocery, serrano peppers are as hot as life gets here--so I'll be climbing back into the hot sauce bottles for awhile. And that Beaver mustard.

Life with Static Girl: I think she's catching some of my depression. And she's watching too much tv...She says that the aliens are no longer watching us--the aliens have gone away; she says we humans will blow ourselves up soon (she sounds like me 8 years ago--and she's 8 years younger than me)...She says I'm going to die of mad cow, and then I'll die of cancer, then a heart attack, stroke, then some abian bird flu, a pig disease, pesticides, then I'll die of some fish rot, and more. Then, she says, she's going to be really PISSED--because I'll be dead, and she'll be stuck here alone. All of this talk just makes me hungry; so I went to Taco Bell...2wice...She's gone to the library with me 4 weekends in a row, wow. She came into my room and said 'Are we ever going to the library?'...She likes to write with the "Vision Exact" pens; and I respect any person who has a favorite pen--I'll get some for her and myself...Shirts she has pillaged from me; Heart--Private Auditions tour--1982, Blue Oyster Cult tour--1984, Espsresso Love Seizure (Carolina band I interviewed), Chris Hicks, Joey Stuckey, Popcycle, Luxury and many more! How did she get them all? She looks damn good in them, too. It's the best that many of those bands have ever looked. Wait; how did she get my Sister Machine Gun shirt? I got it back from her so I could wear it one more time. Okay...And we LOVE the Gardenburger fake chicken patties here; we'll be eating thousands more of them...Those chicken patties? They were an option. It's up to me to give Static Girl options--otherwise she will just go with familiar and boring. She rarely even takes the options--it's just up to me to provide them for her. You wouldn't understand.

My FCP has this for me: She is resonating resource of revelation, and an outstanding outlet for energy; she's the next best thing to my girlfriend. Let's try to NOT forget that again, okay? Between these 2 excellent and sober women in my world, I should be able to make a nice transition. I started writing my personal news TO her, because of all the idiots who complain about my personal news. So now there'll be no more personal news for anybody but her (hope the rest of you are happy now). Ha! She and I talk about peaks, valleys, and tunnels; oh my! She helps me at my workouts, too. She's always eager and happy to talk to me--I NEED that sometimes. She's a full-service FCP; "This is MY FCP--there are many like her, but this one is mine!"

A thought to take with you:
"Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities."--Voltaire

Bumper Sticker:
"I love my country, but I think we should start seeing other people."

Sticker in the cubicle of a cool girl at work:
"Keep talking; I always yawn when I'm interested."


October 2005

Reading: Want-ads! As if there's a job worth having that hasn't been outsourced yet. No; I'm not bitter, or depressed. Okay; maybe a little.

Watching: Football! Rescue Me (it's gone now), I'll be taping Unexplained Mysteries on my back-up VCR, Out There tv, PTI (now bleeds into the actual 6 pm Sportscenter), "Threshhold"; Jason Lee stars in "My Name Is Earl"--please watch it. The pilot of "Invasion" was okay.
Comedy: I just saw this comedian; Marc Maron, and I was moved. He looks, acts, and even sounds a little like me. Oh--the Platypus Man is back; check out the new Richard Jeni special--he's still one of the best.
Saw Weezer on Letterman--they looked pretty good.
Have you seen the new NIN video for "Only"? That's wild.

Hearing: Heard that (1995) Stone Roses "Love Spreads" song on an episode of CSI; I got to look cool in front of my girlfriend by singing it.
Music on tv shows, right? So maybe YOU'VE ever watched this show called "Third Watch". I'm not degrading the show--I've honestly never seen it. Still haven't. But I was channel-surfing, and heard Crystal Method's "Keep Hope Alive"; so I got up and started dancing with the remote. It's the intro music to Third Watch!
Then there's football on CBS; coming back from commercials; yawn, it's "Keep Hope Alive" as background noise.
I was listening to a different radio station here--not 1 of my regular 2. It's some afternoon show called "The Donkey" or something. Their theme music, their background noise, their talk bed is (you guessed it) a Crystal Method song; they use "Wild, Sweet, and Cool".
Who knew I would be a Pink fan? Talented AND bitter; I can relate. "Don't Let Me Get Me"!
Heard Dido at Safeway; America at the Dollar store. Gordon Lightfoot and Steve Winwood at Wal-Mart.
Song I can't get out of my head right now; "Right Where it Belongs"; the last song on the new NIN CD. I can overlook the repeat rhymes and tame triggers from the genius of Trent for what is an uncomplicated and incredible song of music and meaning. In fact; the whole CD is very good. Fuck; let me spell this out for you: I've bought 3 CD's in this town; all 3 from the incredible CD World store--New Garbage (Bleed), new NIN (Teeth), and new Crystal Method (CSII). All 3 CD's rock immensely, and I listen to all 3 often. I cry, and I twitch, and it fucking kills me that I don't get to play music THIS good on the radio.
Radio? Yeah, so I heard this new bluesy stuff--very good, with prominent vocals. Figured it had to be new Tragically Hip. Nice guess, maybe, but I was wrong; it's new Robert Plant. Kick ass.
Who knew? Tracy Bonham is from big O.
My 90G hard drive is filling up with music files. That's good, right?

What I want today: I could ask for another shot at something good--like a radio job. But would it really matter? What is this; another beg for a radio job? Please.
Look; I went and VOLUNFUCKINGTEERED to do community-benefitting services of many kinds. Many. It's a non-profit thing. Me; with a hurt back--offering to work for free. They haven't called me back...? Good. My attitude sucks anyway. Did I mention that I offered to work for free?
Non-profits; yeah. I'd like to write some grants for non-profits. I have offered my services, and they don't call back. But I'm not done yet. I could write grants for so many different things. How about a grant for me?
When I grow up I want to be Jon Stewart--hosting the Daily Show on Comedy Central. Damn; he's good.

New stuff this month or so: First; my good VCR died. Now I'm living off of just my back-up VCR; woe is me.
Second: there is no more job #5; we parted on good terms (ha). It turns out that I really should have had better prospects to call--I should have spoken up before; this is what I get for assuming that (ANY estrogen-based environment) some female-run company knew what it (and I) was doing. Now I get to go start my first job after turning 40. Maybe. Or maybe I'll just go back to job #4; it IS in the neighborhood.
Pinball high scores were reset on Twilight Zone pinball; on my first trip back there I got a 2.2 bil. Also got 16 Birdies on Painted Gorge Golden Tee; nice. Twilight Zone pinball is now gone--replaced by Nascar pinball; 131 mil is my current #1 high score. Across the street, on Junkyard pinball I #1 high-scored 80 mil. There might be a Lord of the Rings pinball in a laundromat over there; did I tell you about this? And; find me a Medieval Madness pinball with a fair "Damsel" shot--I'll kick its ass and Master The Universe.
Got me a new SS card, so's I can get me get an Oregon driver's license, maybe. I'd love to drive a school bus full of kids off a cliff. I mean; um...never mind... E-Resume'd in at the labor office, and signed up with 1 employment agency here in big O. There's like; 20 different employment agencies in this town. Wow. So how do I get a bus driving license?
Hurricanes, floods, broken levees; I no longer want to live on the ocean; maybe, 50 miles from the ocean would be okay. Or 60.
The George Bush Presidency is circling the drain; you heard it here.
Here's one for the pro football freaks: The Sporting News (TSN) did their pre-season picks with their 9 specialists. Of these 9...ha...NOBODY has the Patriots in the Superbowl. 2 of them DO have the Falcons in the Superbowl. The Falcons? Most of them have the Colts and Eagles in the Superbowl (which is cute; the Colts won't even get past the Steelers)...Nobody ever asked me; I've got the Patriots beating the Panthers--again. Make your picks, and then shut up. Let's check back in after all the teams have 12 decisions--and the Patriots will be a playoff-bound 8-4; we can continue the argument then.
Have gone back to job #4--in the neighborhood. I have already met people who have worked many more jobs than me; I won't be working at coach manufacturing, and I won't be a 911 operator. I may wind up getting 2 extra driver's licenses, though. That's right; 2. Extra. And I may wind up getting promoted at job #4 as well. Wouldn't that be a riot?...But we do now know how to go about getting the ultimate upcoming call center job; need to check in with them, at least.
Starting with the maximum of $200, I built up to over $11K in online poker. One time. Yes, it was only once; but that's pretty cool. Um, and then the next night I was up over 22K, and still winning, when I had to shut down and go to bed.

What's different here than in college town: free birth control shots for any women who aren't actively TRYING to get pregnant. So; any woman who does NOT get one of these FREE shots is actively TRYING to get pregnant. Is this clear; do you understand this? Does everybody agree, or did I go too fast for some of you women out there? Take some responsibility for your own body; mmmkay? This is nuts and bolts "basic understanding" stuff here for me and Static Girl; we don't know what the problem is with the rest of you. Tee-hee. Oh; and you can get a replacement SS card in big O for no additional cost, too.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Found my Nag Champa incense at the Discount store, and the best soy sauce...At the big supermarket there is an entire aisle of beer! (Not just 20 feet and 10 brands like in Mexizona) There are literally hundreds of beers brewed here in the Northwest. I'm digging on all 4 of the Henry Weinhard's varieties (made here in big O) right now. I'm looking forward to trying "Moose Drool" beer from Montana. Ha; see, I knew a guy named Moose, and he drooled. Never mind.

Life with Static Girl: Our Saturday library trips are a fixture now! She doesn't want to do anything else on the way home, but I keep giving her options...She made cookies! I love to eat her cookies, and that's not JUST a metaphor...Chocolate!...My girlfriend, who is really smart, either read or saw some thing about: In naming the safest cities to avoid natural disasters, big O lands 3 of the top 11 cities (Portland is #11)...She's going to bake something soon--details to follow. She made pasta, with tomato sauce; that was some intense heartburn. She's looking for work; I'm trying to help find her something with limited communication.

My FCP has this for me: I finally disappointed her a little. But that's okay; she needs to feel some disappointment, and I need to get bitched at a little. Nobody said this "life" stuff was going to be all perfect. Does she like me? She sends me e-mails to keep; thoughts that could, and often do, send me off on tangents that help me to see things differently/better. Here is a quality woman who helps keep my brain active! She benefits me in so many intangible and excellent ways. Right. She's been telling me over and over how I need to quit being so depressed and all. It finally connected; I've been looking at the depressing big picture for too long. The key to being happy is in the smaller picture. The Overnight Guy told you that (after many years of being prodded by his FCP). It may come to light later that my FCP is the smartest person in the universe; YOU should be so lucky...but I WAS! MY FCP!

A thought to take with you: "The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."--Hunter S. Thompson

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