Sidebars 131 -- 140


March 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: the daily newspaper, and daily news websites, and I have 2 new books, too.
Okay, people. Reading? I've been reading Wikipedia about perpetual motion, free energy, Joe Newman, etc. Some very smart people have had some really good ideas about energy. I am quite proud to know that so many others have obsessed over the same ideas I have. Really. Now; I'm ripping some new assholes. Since the 1100's, all the way through Leonardo da Vinci, and up here to 2010, all of you are OVERthinking everything. Start over, and go smaller. Quit trying to harness the whole equation; YOU don't have to create "power", and you don't have to replace the internal combustion engine. Even my "magnatomic" engine would not be as effective as the better electric cars; and I don't need the patent office's bullshit, or the auto industry hit men coming after me. (Read this next line slowly:) Just spin a fucking flywheel--that's all YOU have to do; the multiple applications will come later. I think it's amusing (read: "pathetic") that 9 centuries of brilliant minds have ALL picked the wrong starting point. People are stupid.

Watching: "Modern Family" is good; I have completed my trifecta of USA shows: "Burn Notice" is completely unrealistic, but watchable. 'White Collar' is even more unrealistic, and only average. "Psych" is also unrealistic, but with above average writing and jokes.

Class Projects: Bones, House, Oregon Art Beat/Oregon Field Guide, Criminal Minds, 1 Psych,
movies together: no movies this month

Shit I watch alone: "The River Cottage Treatment" on Sundance is excellent; it forces people to think about the foods they eat, "Most Daring" on TRU tv, Real Time w/Bill Maher premiered w/Seth MacFarlane.
Comedians: Jim Breuer "Let's Clear the Air", Bill Maher "But I'm Not Wrong", "Aisha Tyler is Lit",
Crappy cable movies: Pathology, The Mist, Death Sentence, The Edge of Never, Bangkok Dangerous, Swimming With Sharks, Death Race, Stuck (topless Mena Suvari), The Killing Room, The Edge of Never, Survival Island (topless Kelly Brook), Cabin Fever, The Devil's Ground, The Chaos Experiment, Max Payne,

The last 3 Blockbuster $2 rentals; I Sell the Dead, Diagnosis Death, and The Invention of Lying...Full price Blockbuster rentals; Law Abiding Citizen and The Informant

Play it Again's: Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Naked Fear, T-2, Bride of Chucky, 3000 Miles to Graceland,

Watching and Hearing: Them Crooked Vultures on SNL...Hey! Did you hear Zeppelin's "Bring It On Home" during the gold medal hockey game teaser? I was impressed...

Hearing: Volbeat "Guitar Gangsters" is the most played CD of all, Stabbing Westward "Wither, Blister, Burn + Peel", Offspring "Rise and Fall...", 2 Anberlin CD's, 2 Muse CD's, 2 Rob Zombie's (listed below), Paramore's "Riot",

New on the radio; the new Rob Zombie is available (sigh), Cypress Hill w/Tom Morello is out, Peter Gabriel is doing a CD of covers? My current favorite radio song is that Rise Against tune "Savior", Oooo, and the Flyleaf tune is good, too.

Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: I won't be buying hardly any new music while I gather finances for other issues, good and bad...And then I won some poker $; so that's the new Rob Zombie "Hellbilly Deluxe 2" (yay), AND the 2003 CD/DVD combo of Rob Zombie "Past, Present & Future" (Special thanks to CDWorld's 25% off everything sale!)...

Out and About: Wilson-Phillips and Madonna at Dollar Tree,
Singing: "What Do I Have To Do"--Stabbing Westward, "Cheeseburger in Paradise"--Jimmy Buffet, I broke into a random section of Pink Floyd's instrumental "Echoes" for no reason (it'd been years), "Mr. Blue Sky"--ELO, "I Will Buy You A New Life"--Everclear,

What I want today: actress Billie Piper. And that's okay, because my girlfriend likes her, too...I'd like one of those "yudu" home screen-printing kits, too; "".

New stuff this month or so: From January; instead of the 24-pack case, Coca-Cola now comes in 20-packs. In honor of my girlfriend, I'm calling (Bullshit) "Shenanigans!" on this...2-5-10; the warmest Feb. 5 in Eugene, Oregon history--62 degrees...Gus, my Silver Love Chariot, turned 235,000 miles on 2-25-10...Olympic hockey will end on 2-28-10 (we won the silver medal--a fine showing); I have LOVED this run by the USA team! I love hockey! I love NHL hockey, I love Olympic hockey, I love the Portland band "hockey"; I love the hockey mask on my Golden Tee character. Ha!..

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): gum, lighters, + hot sauce at Dollar Tree; then more candles, and Nag Champa "midnight" incense at Cash King;

Occupational Hazards: Slowly, people will catch on as to how bad the job recession really is, and how the government has/continues to lie about it...Oooo, I got one more state unemployment extension!..Congress may extend unemployment benefits for a whole year...Hello. Do you read the newspaper, or watch something other than Fox news? Every day you can read about new job layoffs, new plant closings, and more newly unemployed people. Every day. But some media outlets would have you believe that we are somehow in a "recovery" right now, and that things are getting better. WTF?..

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: also from January; along with a new Dr., I am now on the gout medication allopurinal--which might eliminate my gout...(as mentioned) I won my own first Tuesday poker tournament of February...Next day, I rode my bike (hungover) back to the bar to get my van, and LEFT my bike in the parking lot--right beside my van! Bar-workers who pity me saved my bike!..Finally! I begin my 2-club membership in mid-February (1 good, and 1 not so good). Expensive, punishing, and rewarding. Go me! Cancel that 2-club membership. I have to finish the bad one before beginning the good one (details later)...Foolishly, I joined Facebook. But I do like the 103.7 radio reunion so far...Wow. My new computer speakers are so good and loud that my old-fart neighbor bangs on the walls for them, as well...My chipped chewing tooth is now loose, and in extreme pain. Great...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: All Pirates pinball high scores were reset (no more 503 million for me), and the game plays weaker now. My newest grand champ score is 180 mil (2-2-10). I WILL break 200 mil, but I can't promise much more--it's tough!..
The Golden Tee tournament has begun (2-7-10); first course, 2009's Woodland Farm (my 2 rounds were -24 total). I won week one. Week 2 is 2009's Sunnywood (my 2 rounds were -26 total). I won week two. Week 3 is 2010's Southern Oaks (my 2 rounds were -18 total). I won week three.

New foods this month: I made a salad dressing "paste", in the Magic Bullet (2wice), of lemon juice, balsamic viniagrette, baby carrots, and apples. Delicious!..From the organic section; "Manitoba Harvest" (brand) Canadian shelled hemp seeds! Finally! They have Omega 3 + protein, and contain all 10 essential amino acids. No pesticides. no additives, and no preservatives. And they are quite tasty! Yum, even. Why are there no American hemp seeds, you idiots?!!

This month of Blues Jamming: 2-4-10; great! House musicians (set 1) are: Max and Ri on guitar, Axel drums, Z-Bass, JP on keys, and Mark the Harp. Set 2 had Jimmy and Ro on guitar, T-Mart bass, newbie Dave drums, Scotty B on harp. 3 + 4 were house, and excellent!..2-11-10; I missed half the first set due to legal complications; Ri, Ra, Z-Bass, JP, Jimmy drums, Mark the Harp. Set 2 had Morgan + Chopsaw on guitar(?), newbie Tom on keys and singing; 3 had Zach and Steve on guitars + T-Mart bass; 4 had Max and Kyle! (K's first jam since becoming a new daddy)...2-18-10; set 1 had 1 guitar, Ra, Z-Bass, Mark the Harp, Jimmy drums, JP on keys (JP also played some guitar again). Set 2 Axel drums, Max + Ro on guitars, Russ bass. Set 3 was Mark the Harp, Max + Ra on guitars, T-Mart on bass, Lenny drums, + JP. No set 4. Another great night...2-25-10; set 1 Z-Bass, Ri, Ra, Mark the Harp, Jimmy, + JP. 2 was Scottie B on harp, Ra, Ro, T-Mart on bass, JP, + Lenny drums. 3 was Z-Bass, Axel drums, Mark the Harp, Kyle + Ra on guitar. 4 was Max, Ra, Z-Bass, Jimmy drums, maybe. I wasn't paying so much attention by then.

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God:

What's different here than in college town: (ain't no ballet company in Athens) The Eugene Ballet Co. and The Floydian Slips (Pink Floyd cover band) are teamed up to create a ballet based on the album "Dark Side of the Moon"...Oregon turned 150 on February 14, 2009.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Arizona is still trying to build a "border fence" to keep Mexicans out. Ha. Do those Arizona idiots even watch the "Weeds" show?.."Geocaching" (using GPS devices to find common treasure stashes) was developed in Oregon, and is still most popular in Oregon (though popular in AZ, too)...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): February is still too cold overall to go gardening...The first gardening meeting of the year is March 6th...

Life with Static Girl: From last month, if I didn't mention it; she and I are now sponsors of Oregon Public Broadcasting (OPB). Thank you, wonderful girlfriend!..She doesn't like the vanilla Dunkin Donuts coffee--even with chocolate soy milk in it. So we won't have it ever again. We'll get some excellent Oregon coffee next...Parallel/different; she'll hear about some subject, and then she'll have to go buy a book about it ("Wabi Sabi"). I'll hear about some music, and then I'll have to go get the CD (Anberlin, Boxcar Racer, Muse, and now Rob Zombie this month)...Side note: She and I are now arguing about the definition of the word "transient"...No Valentine for my girlfriend! She hates the day of "hearts" with a passion. Other women expect romance miraculous on this day. Me? 2-14-10 is a Sunday, right? Yeah; I'll leave her, and go spend 8 hours at the bar that day (Nascar and a poker tournament). I am a LUCKY man!..Speaking of being a lucky man; there is a new 'welcome mat' in my life, and that makes me smile!..Her newest computer chair is the blue beanbag that I bought for her 2 years ago, and I am glad she is now using it. I also suggested that she "recycle" her oldest, crappy computer monitor--since she had an almost new one just sitting there. She did that, too. And, she finally ordered a new pair of vegan shoes, from the Vegan Essentials place; I'm very proud of my girlfriend this month!..She is like a celery stalk; long, lean and green. Sometimes she is also sweet, and that's when she's like celery pudding...Condiments! She is organic ketchup; I am the store-brand's b-b-q sauce; either Kansas City or Louisiana style...My girl likes pickles--and that's no metaphor. She likes 'em sweet, and dill. I had forgotten how much I like pickles, too...Crochet, baby! My Girlfriend learned the "single cable" stitch, and has already incorporated it into her newest creation (I call it the "double helix" stitch)...Static Babe is as feminine as she needs to be; her legs would look sassy sweet in some sexy stockings, but (along with no make-up, and no hair styles) she doesn't do the girly dress-ups, either. (Just a quick reminder: to her; "formal" means she wears her good black jeans.) Did I mention that I'm a lucky man?..Criminal Girlfriend! She cannot drive her car again until she gets new stickers for her license plate. She already has them? Fine; then she cannot drive again until she applies those new stickers...Static Girl has officially asked me to stop using Lysol. Bummer. I like my Lysol (I guess we're saving germs now; germs are people, too.)...My girlfriend hates slime. She hates it! Our carrot bags remain open now (less slime)...I cooked some pasta, and it wound up tasting very bland. But my girlfriend actually liked it. My girlfriend LIKES the taste of cardboard. I enjoy small explosions of flavor; spicy, sweet, sour, etc. My girlfriend will have none of it...

My FCP has this for me: For my inspirational processes, she has instructed me to 'use her as I will', and to let my imagination run wild. I can do that!..Still abnormal, but a SLIGHTLY more normal woman than my girlfriend; I sent my adoring FCP a fine Valentine's card...With a sense of humor, and the walls padded, she is the devious librarian that I want to do research with. (Imagine; a long ponytail, with a pencil through it, and smart girl glasses on. Nice.)...3 meals a day...My most excellent FCP is moving yet again; this time to help her sister take care of her kid. My #2 is going to be the hottest aunt on the east coast...We talked frisky on the phone, and uh, never mind what that led to...

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Obama says (we're too broke) we won't be going to the moon now. IMAGINE my surprise, considering how we've NEVER been there...Miley Cyrus, 17 (and that makes her "legal tender" in GA), wants to marry her boyfriend--NOW! And, apparently, Miley's 9 yr. old sister wants to be a stripper, too (and good for her)...China cancels 80% of Iraq debt (WRH website) WTF?..Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein gets a $9 million bonus for 2009; JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon gets a $16 million bonus for 2009 (Wall Street doled out $20 billion in bonuses in 2009)...Cities Are Shortening Yellow Traffic Lights for Deadly Profit (wow)...Government debt now amounts to more than $113,000 for each taxpayer.

A thought to take with you: "Let us beware those who seek to possess our bodies and our minds for the academic world dehumanizes us."--Rob Zombie's "Burn" (track 8)

"If child molestation is actually your concern, how come we don't see Bradley tanks knocking down Catholic churches?"--Bill Hicks, 1993, referencing the Waco siege

Oregon Bumper Sticker: "Responsible People Have Fewer Heirs"

An OPPOSING Oregon bumper sticker: "How can there be too many children? That's like saying there are too many flowers" (I am NOT making this up; there is some dumb, fat-ass, Burger King-eating female in Eugene with 5 different 'I love children' bumper stickers. And I pity her.)

Band names: "Legal Tender", "Celery Pudding", "Peephole", "Banana Flasher",
("Vulgar Rampant Vandalism" (Tosh.0), "Dick Sweat" (Daily Show), "Stripper's Discount Warehouse", "Beardsly McTurbanhead", + "Vealy Vulva" (Archer)


April 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: The brilliant website..."The Practical Guide to Free Energy Devices"--Patrick J. Kelly...Wait; real, live, newspaper-ish reading, from CDWorld! The monthly college music guide "Hear Say" is pretty good...

Watching: (my soap opera) "Breaking Bad" comes back March 21st...I watched "Undercover Boss", with the 7/11 CEO guy. Now that's not a bad show at all...I checked out "Parenthood" (with Peter Kraus and Lauren Graham), very watchable...I also watched "the forgotten", with Christian Slater, which was the dumbest fucking show I've sat through in years..."Funny or Die" on HBO has tons of potential, and their 'Presidents' thing was fantastic...Then we lost our movie channels on 3-15.

Class Projects: Warehouse 13, House, Bones, CSI Miami, Criminal Minds, the "Life" shows on Animal Planet,
movies together: "The Informant", "Wanted",

Shit I watch alone: I checked out "Big Bang Theory", which was also okay...I've watched every Breaking Bad re-run, too..."Deranged" on the Investigation Discovery channel (serial killers)...The NFL network finally replayed the Houston/Buffalo playoff game from 1-3-93 (I watched it live, with TPG); I've re-watched it 3 times so far in March, 2010..."Justified" is okay...Web Soup is back, on G4...
Comedians: Bobby Slayton "Born to be Bobby", Joe Rogan "Talking Monkeys in Space", (again) Christopher Titus "Love is Evol",
Crappy cable movies: Diary of a Serial Killer, Kinky Killers, Wishcraft, Wisegirls, That Thing You Do, Dummy, Van Wilder "Freshman Year", Sexy Movie, Highway Man, Highjacking Hollywood, Intermission, Waiting,

Play it Again's: House of 1000 Corpses (2wice), American History X, Wedding Crashers, G. I. Jane, Where the Buffalo Roam, Great Balls of Fire, The Replacements, Nowhere, 8 Mile,

Watching and Hearing: I haven't heard anything obscure in a tv commercial lately; it's all been mainstream. Snif and the Tears in that Lincoln commercial, the Cars in a new Pennzoil commercial,

Hearing: the Rise Against "Appeal To Reason" CD, and their song "Savior" about 300 times; NIN's "Year Zero", NIN's "Ghosts", Crumb's "Romance is a Slowdance", "Zeitgeist"--Smashing Pumpkins, Both "Closest Line Theory" and "Over The Wire"--Dream Life Misery, The 1997 "Spawn" soundtrack,
New on the radio; (soon) new STP comes out in May; that'll be their first new music in 10 years...Metallica will tour big arenas, Korn will tour small clubs, Johnny Depp will play Ozzy in the upcoming Ozzy movie...New White Stripes CD (Jack White is in 3 bands, and all 3 bands have new music coming out? You have to admit--that's impressive!)...Dave Grohl is working with Butch Vig on something new--that could be really good...New Hole; "Skinny Bitch"?..
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: (full price, actually) Yes; I bought the 2008 Rise Against CD "Appeal To Reason"...Happy Birthday to CDWorld, it turned 21 this month!..
Out and About: Peter Frampton at Fred Meyer, Kenny Loggins at Dollar Tree, Old Steve Miller into new Pearl Jam at Carl's Jr., oldies at Arby's,
Singing: "Stranger"--Starship, "Until the Day I Die"--Story of the Year, "Celebrity Judges"--Crumb, "Farewell December"--Dream Life Misery, "Hurt"--NIN,

What I want today:

New stuff this month or so: The Divine Cupcake opened (a mile from us) on 3-5-10; they sell vegan cupcakes!..Our neighborhood Blockbuster movie rental place is closing! Do you really believe that we are in an economic recovery?..Congrads to Dave O., who was divorced by his wife of 20+ years this year, and the divorce was finalized this month. Hunter Dave has lost over 20 lbs., and is more popular than ever! He is an inspiration to us all...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): wraps, lemon juice, Raisenettes, floss, and antacids at Dollar Tree...

Occupational Hazards: "Jobs" may not be the answer to the current economic situation. This new Century is going to require some new ways to think about things. The current perverted corportae structure is the cause of mankind's problems, duh, and we need to get away from it. Let's see how long it takes the (corporate) "experts" to figure this one out.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: In a phone call with my MoM, she wanted me to tell her 'what all was important in my life'. I told her that there is nothing important IN, and no importance TO my life, and that was the POINT of my life (and, well, her screaming continues)...I am about to go steeply minimalist in my existence. Details to follow--like--Shaved head? Almost; it's the 1/8 inch cut (shiny bald head)...3-17-10; instead of taking slight poker winnings to CDWorld and buy a CD, I'm taking slight poker winnings to buy Orajel for my toothache. This sucks...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: that 'Pirates' pinball machine is more warped than I am. I can still win credits on it (30 mil), but nobody's scored 100 mil in over a month...Until ORB beat my 180 mil with his 187 mil. Boo...Then ORB scored 236 mil, too...
The Golden Tee tournament continues (I won the first 3 weeks). Week 4 is 2009's Bonnie Moor (my 2 rounds were -31 total). I won week 4 (by tiebreaker, yes, but I still won)...Week 5 is Bella Toscana (my 2 rounds were -16 total). I came in 2nd place...Week 6 is 2009's Grand Savannah (my 2 rounds were -30 total). I won week 6. Week 7 is Great Wall (my 2 rounds were -32). I won week 7. Week 8 is going to be tough; Black Hills. Booo.
New foods this month: let's get back to brown rice, huh?..Rice cooked in olive juice; yummy!..Then tempeh fried (brilliantly) with the olive rice!..Brown rice with peas makes for an excellent base to work from...Leftovers combined into spaghetti and salad...then spaghetti rice, yum...Brewed Green Tea; I bought some store brand green tea bags, and they are so obviously not as good as name brand tea bags...My bean soaks are getting better. I will be an ace at the white-trash bean soaks soon!..

This month of Blues Jamming: 3-4-10; great night! 1 was Z-Bass, Ri, Ra, Mark the Harp, Jimmy D, JP, + Ernie on sax. 2 was Scotty B, Morgan, Ro, Russ bass, Axel drums. 3 was Max, Andy, Matt drums, + Mark the Harp. 4 was Z-Bass, Ri, Ra, Jimmy D, JP...3-11-10; yes! 1 was Z-Bass, Ernie on sax, Scotty B on harp, Ri + Ra on guitar, Jimmy drums, JP on keys. 2 was Brian Chevalier on guitar, Ed on bass, Mark the Harp, Lenny drums. 3 was Max + Ro on guitar, Bobby bass, Scotty B, JP, and Axel drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Ra + Ri on guitars, JP, + Jimmy drums...3-18-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP and Jimmy D on drums. 2 was Max and Jimmy B on guitars, Scotty B on harp, T-Mart bass, Lenny drums. 3 was Z-Bass, Andy and Ra on guitars, JP, Matt drums, 4 was Max, Ra and Ri on 3 guitars, T-Mart bass, JP, Jimmy drums...3-20-10; the annual Eugene harmonica blow-offs are tonight. Bill Rhoades and Mike Tracey both; only $6. But I'm broke, with a toothache. Damn...3-25-10; 1st set; Michael Johnson on harp, Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy D drums. 2 was Brian Chevalier + Ra on guitars, Mark the Harp, T-Mart, Lenny drums, Brian L. played piano, and Pam and Diana sang extra. 3 was Z-Bass, Max + K on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP and Jared played saxophone. 4 was Z-Bass, Andy + Ralph on guitars, Jimmy D drums.

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God:

What's different here than in college town: The SAME as Athens, GA; the University of Oregon has an annual Miss "Black" Oregon competition. I (continue to) find this reverse discrimination insulting and offensive. where do I file a complaint here?..This city is cutting hundreds of jobs, and reducing hours--tell me about an economic recovery?..In this 2010 depression, our state government wants to pay $250,000 to rename a local highway for some family that gave lots of $ to current state politicians. There is much uproar from the people...The U of O here just gave a $2.3 million severance package to a coach who up and quit after less than a year on the job. WTF?

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Lane Community College here has a new "classroom"; it's a course teaching how to install/manage solar panels on buildings; it includes a recharging station for electric cars brought to campus, and all extra power is either used at the college, or sold back to EWEB (the power company)...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot):

Life with Static Girl: Yes; LIFE with Static Girl. As we roll through the first week of March, 2010, let me say how proud I am for this 10-year anniversary of living with my girlfriend (starting in March, 2000). We have been together longer than MY parents were married, and certainly longer than most modern relationships last. Congrads to the best companion I could ever hope for; MY Static Girl...She's MY little Vegan Cupcake, yes, but she doesn't have the best sense of smell. So she doesn't really get to appreciate my cologne or my cooking. She does have really good hearing though; which is good, because my ears aren't what they used to be...She doesn't do "high five's". She just sticks one finger out, and, she does it in a really sarcastic way...

My FCP has this for me: My FCP is an excellent nanny; her nephew M is one lucky little guy! I wish my FCP would come and babysit me...

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Just a reminder; with the national debt at $12.3 trillion, wheee, that is roughly $113,000 per taxpayer (nice, huh?)...ABC News is about to cut half their workforce?..Chevron to cut 2,000 jobs...California might legalize marijuana (in November)...If Obama's Health Care reform gets passed (it did), Rush Limbaugh said that he we would move to Costa Rica (did he?)...

A thought to take with you: "Totalitarianism calls ideology philosophy. It salutes itself in every medium and every product, material, legal, political. And we salute it in return through meaningless work and consumption."--Joe Bageant

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."–-Abraham Lincoln

Oregon bumper sticker: "Sure, you can trust the government. Just ask an Indian."

Band names: "Permanent Toothache", "Vegan Cupcake" (Static Girl), (real Oregon band) "Medieval Kenieval", "Banned" (or, "The Banned Band")
"Tofurky Mojito" (poker/golf player S), "Glovebox Chronic" (poker/golf player B),


May 2009

(...last month we were...)

Reading: other than the newspaper that I read daily, Eugene has a new bi-weekly entertainment guide called "The Dropout". It actually started in the last week of March, and the 3rd edition will come out May 5th (I hear that some people do like to party on May 5th). I get both The Dropout, and Hear/Say at CDWorld--because I'm cool like that.

Watching: I checked out "Rules of Engagement" (ehhh), "Ugly Americans" was okay, "In Plain Sight" is pretty good, and the marathon of Tru tv's "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" (great show)...Finally! On the 3rd day of hockey playoffs, there was finally ONE game on network tv...(Every couple of years or so:) Hey look; there's another new bullshit Anne Frank movie coming out--I bet it'll have ovens and everything...200 episodes of Southpark; nice job, guys...

Class Projects: Life, Nature, Nova, House, the 100th episode of Bones (congrads), and the new Doctor Who started back on 4-17-10!,
movies together: The Last Starfighter,

Shit I watch alone: "Scrubs" re-runs, SNL in the 2000's, my 3 VHS episodes of "Doctor Doctor" (still not out on DVD yet), NBC is the only big network to air ANY hockey games, ever..."Ancient Aliens" on the History Channel,
Comedians: Jo Koy "Don't Make Him Angry", Rory Albanese, Leo Allen, (again) Blue Collar Comedy "One More For the Road", (again) Louis C.K. "Chewed Up", Carlos Alazraqui, Bob Smith,
Crappy cable movies: "The Andromeda Strain", "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry", "Phone Booth", "Lords of Dogtown", 1998's "Psycho", "Ginger Snaps", "Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleader Scandal", "Confessions of a Go Go Dancer", "I've Been Waiting For You", "The Florentine", "Gran Torino", "Four Christmases", "Cruel World",

Play it Again's: "They Live", "American Psycho", "Bully", "Food, Inc.", "Swordfish",

Watching and Hearing: Them Crooked Vultures on Jimmy Kimmel (sweet, and I like Jimmy's Bud Light performance stage)...And: Don't tell me that the Letterman show isn't taped! How do I know? Well, the band Spoon played Letterman on 4-12-10. That's nice, right? Yeah; well, Spoon headlined the McDonald Theater in Eugene on 4-12-10, with (hot Portland chick band) Explode Into Colors opening...Was that a new Natalie Merchant song on a new episode of "House"? (Brilliant idea--if it was.)...I saw The Flaming Lips do Pink Floyd on Jimmy Fallon...The "Biography" of Green Day on A + E was excellent...

Hearing: Rise Against, Story of the Year, Smashing Pumpkins, 2 Dream Life Misery CD's, Rob Zombie, lots of Muse, 2 Anberlin CD's,
New on the radio; Slash has a new band (I heard the single, and loved it!), and there is a new Fat Boy Slim CD. Is that a 2nd Alice in Chains single from their new release? Yes; it's yummy, old-school A in C called "Your Decision". New Natalie Merchant "Leave Your Sleep", somewhere. New Deftones "Diamond Eyes" is good...I used to live this shit everyday, but now I'm just a "listener"...Hot Tub Time Machine? (It's like 1986) Ozzy has new music coming out, and Roger Waters is doing a 30 yr. anniversary of the Wall tour...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: I won't be buying any new CD's for awhile. This section of the Sidebar was developed back when I had lots of employment and disposable cash. Now I have neither. But I WILL tell you about the BEST $5 I have spent this Century; it was at the Westside Blues Jam on 4-1-10. Brian Chevalier (singer/songwriter/blues guitarist) has a disc of 20 songs that he wrote; "Heavy Chevy", and the disc is only $5. E-mail him at "".
Out and About: The Cure's "Love Song" at Burger King (suddenly I feel very old), Blink 182 at Taco Bell, Oasis at Fred Meyer, Captain + Tenille (spell?) at Albertson's
Singing: "Hey Hey, My My"--Neil Young, "It's All Over But The Crying"--Garbage, "Tempus Fugit"--Yes, "Flagpole Sitta"--Harvey Danger,

What I want today: Piles of bailout cash.

New stuff this month or so: 4-2-10; the sun was shining, and we still had hail 3 different times today...Newspaper 4-13-10; a Portland woman, Amanda Stottsmith, unhappy with the court's ruling on the post-divorce visitation of her children, threw both of her children off a 75 ft. bridge, killing one of them. Aw, mom...4-14-10; the hockey playoffs begin (yay). Of the 4 scheduled games today, only 2 are televised, and not even on basic cable (VS.), which I don't have...Samsung, who I like, has just released an internet 'fridge. This is a refigerator with an eye-level computer screen/keyboard. WTF?..Our neighborhood Blockbuster is closing. Show me an economic recovery...Larry King's 7th divorce, and Liz Taylor's 8th marriage...National court case from right here in Eugene; employers are not obligated to accept a worker's use of medical marijuana. This court case will continue...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): I'm long overdue.

Occupational Hazards: Come on, Congress; one more big unemployment extension.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: Won my own poker tournament on 4-4-10, and tied on 4-11-10...I start my stupidity classes on 4-15-10. No I don't; more delays--everything is postponed until August. However; I will start alternating Tuesday night poker hostings with B, who is a cool guy, and also is unemployed like me...On 4-22-10, Earth Day, the Lane County dental society called to offer me a slot. Next-day X-Rays on 4-23, then the extraction of tooth #3 on 4-24-10. This would have been a $424 dental visit. Special thanks to all who helped at Dr. Magnusson's office...4-27-10; I wrote a poem. Yay me...G-13 is the code name for some new, sweet-smelling shampoo...I was fired on 4-29-08; so on Friday, 4-30-10 I recognized 2 full years of being unemployed...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: week 8 of the Golden Tee tournament was Black Hills (my 2 rounds were -17); I came in 2nd place...Week 9 is Tahiti Cove (my 2 rounds were -16); I came in 5th place (booo)...The final week is Monument Valley (my 2 rounds were -16); I came in 4th place...Later on that Earth Day night of 4-22, at Blues Jam, I was crowned Golden Tee champ of the 1st 10-week contest, and won $60...
New foods this month: I made home-made 'Yumm Bowls', and she was impressed...She made some white bread (as opposed to her usual bread), and I was impressed!..Then more home-made Yumm Bowls. Then some Yumm Bowl rice; which is tomatocado in the Magic Bullet and hand-sliced black olives--wooo...Then with my tender, toothless mouth of 4-24, I made excellent mashed-in-the-iron-skillet potatos that wound up being almost hash browns; yum!..

This month of Blues Jamming: 4-1-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Ra + Ri on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP, and Jimmy D drums. 2 was Scotty B on harp, Brian Chevalier and Dave P on guitars, Mike bass, Axel drums. 3 was Ro and new Brian on guitar, new Brendan on harp, T-Mart bass, JP, and Lenny drums. 4 was Max + Ra on guitars, Z-Bass, JP, and Jimmy D drums...4-8-10; a true TOP TEN Jam of all time (Z-Bass agrees): set 1 was Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, Z-Bass, Michael Johnson on harp, Jimmy D drums, + JP. 2 was Mark the Harp, Morgan + K on gjuitars, Russ bass, Lenny drums, Art played sax and sang...3 was Scotty B on harp, Billy J + Ri on guitars, T-Mart on bass, Axel drums and sings!..4 was Hank Shreve on harp (of the Ty Curtis band), Max + Ro on guitars, Milo on bass (Ty Curtis' bassist), Jimmy D drums (Z-Bass was upset because he only got to play 1 set.)...4-15-10; another wow. 1 was Z-Bass, Scotty B, Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums. 2 was Hank Shreve on keyboards, female Janie on sax (came with Brian C.?), Ri and Ro on guitars, Mark the Harp, T-Mart on bass, Lenny drums (Val also sang). 3 was Andy + Ra on guitars, Milo on bass, JP, Axel drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Max + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy drums (I can't read my own writing.)...Earth Day Blues Jam 4-22-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Scotty B on harp, Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums. In the break, Jim Rose played. Set 2 was Mark the Harp, Billy Jay and Dave P on guitars, Ra on bass!, Earl the Pearl drums (1st Westside Blues Jam). 3 was Z-Bass, Scotty B, Kyle and Ro on guitars, Lenny drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Max and Ri on guitars, JP, and Axel drums. I lost $10 of my golf winnings, but it might have been worth it...4-29-10 set 1 was Z-Bass, Scotty B, Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums. 2 was Z-Bass, Mark the Harp, Morgan and K on guitars, Axel drummed 1 song, then Lenny drums. Val sang. 3 was Mike Tracey on harp, (Mike's friend) Steve and Ri on guitars, Ra on bass, Axel drums, Hank Shreve played keys. 4 was Max + Ro on guitars, Milo on bass, Jimmy D drums, some mystery guy on keys (Jim?).

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: It's tough, as I keep learning about how all religions have changed their stories over the centuries as sceince proves those holy outlines false...What if "earth" is a rest stop, a space "Stuckey's", with a gift shop, and zoo (us)? Our "God" could be an alien scout ship from some other planet. Maybe they were even told to not have sex with us savages; but they did, and now we exist? See; it has been made clear that aliens from other planets DID come down here and mindfuck some of our elder cultures. The only question is 'How much did they screw with us?'. Perhaps the God I believe in is little more than a horny, blue collar alien pervert who can do parlor tricks.

What's different here than in college town: Similar, maybe. I saw/walked with a guy on the bike path who was carrying a guitar and playing it as we talked. That was pretty cool...Oregon's "Know Your Farmer, Know Your Food" program puts local produce into public school cafeterias...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Bike cities; Portland is the #2 bike city in the country, and Eugene is #5...AZ is cracking down on immigrants--as of this month, police can stop ANYBODY and demand proof of citizenship (this will not end well)...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): The first thing you have to do is to "show up". Well, we did that (4-17-10). Now it will be up to me to make some progress...

Life with Static Girl: she knows how I love mac + cheese, so she ordered me some vegan mac from the Vegan Essentials website...After waking her up at 2 am one night in early April, she threatened to trade me in, as a room-mate, for a cat. But a cat isn't going to cook, wash dishes, clean bathrooms, and vacuum the floors...Right after I kiss her, she usually wipes her mouth with her sleeve. I mean; she likes me, but she thinks that kissing is icky. Seriously; she cannot even WATCH kissing on tv. She huffs, and puffs, rolls her eyes, and mumbles 'Ughhhhhh.'...Want to know something that I like? I like walking into the kitchen and seeing a note from my wonderful girlfriend that says 'Thanks for being you.'...My girlfriend has mastered what I call the "blank stare" at me. It's a gaze in my direction, where she appears to be looking right through me. She is genuinely NOT interested in anything I might say or do, at that moment, and it shows in her magical blank stare. She is amazing...Because she is so great at work, they gave her another raise. She now makes 2WICE what I earned as a radio star...Sometimes I'll walk her halfway home from work; it's nice. Most of the time we are quiet on these walks--what some might call an awkward silence. But we call it "pleasant"...I have selective hearing; we all know this. Apparently my girlfriend, who usually cannot smell anything, but, maybe she has 'selective smelling'. She claims to be able to smell my super-hot serrano peppers, which I don't always smell. They definitely drive her out of the kitchen...

My FCP has this for me: she lullabys me, invades my dreams, and perks me up first thing in the morning.

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: "Oregon may try 4-day school week to save money." (Drudge Report)...(4-12-10) "Fed 'Loans' Out $420 BILLION to Parties Unknown IN ONE WEEK" (4 different news sites)..."Russia Freezes US Adoptions". Who is allowing dumbass Americans to adopt mutant Russkie children anyway?..Goldman Sachs is set to hand out more than $3.5 billion in pay outs to its staff for the first three months of 2010 (Times of London)...Al-Qaeda Chief In Iraq: Captured, Killed, Never Actually Existed, Re-Captured, Now Killed Again (try to keep up)...The earth received some radio signals from deep space (WRH news site; so?)...

A thought to take with you: Guys; from your local Planned Parenthood, female birth control is either FREE or extremely cheap. So if you're dating a girl who has "pregnancy scares" every month, month after month, then you are dating a female who is TRYING to get pregnant. And fucking QUOTE this thought TO her, then dump her. Class dismissed.

Take all the GMO corn and make ethanol out of that shit.--W. C. Davis

"Just look at what organized government, and organized religion have brought us."--W. C. Davis

"If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy."-—James Madison

A buddy back on the east coast got pulled over by cops and "questioned" about a bumper sticker. He actually has a few of those 'I love my country, but don't trust my governemnt' type stickers on his car. Don't do this. And don't wear anti-government t-shirts. Okay? And tattoos mark you for life--police use tats, piercings, and jewelry as level 1 identifiers. Don't make it so easy for 'authority' to question YOU. Try to use some common sense with your personal "statements".

Band names: "Alien Pervert"
"Lesbian Bondage Fiasco" (Daily Show),
(real Oregon bands) "Just the Tip", and "By Polar Bears"


June 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: the newspaper, the Weekly, The Dropout, Hear/Say. I read stuff...I want this book; "Green Careers For Dummies". 'Nuff said...

Watching: New show "The Good Guys" started this month; it could be okay...'Sunny in Philadelphia' is coming to Comedy Central, soon...And "Free Radio" shows up sometimes on Comedy Central...I also checked out "Sit Down, Shut Up" on Comedy Central; it was okay (How difficult can it be to create a quality cartoon?)...

Class Projects: House, Dr. Who, Nature, Nova, CSI MIami, (all the usuals)
movies together: no movies this month

Shit I watch alone: Completely and totally ALONE: recorded last month, from the NFL Network, or, maybe 2 months ago--the 1992 AFC wildcard playoff game of Oilers at Bills. The single greatest comeback in NFL playoff history; the same one that I watched live, with TPG, 17 years ago. I have watched this game at least 7 more times in the past 2 months, and I doubt that it will ever be deleted from my DVR..."High Score" on DOC, about (Portland's) Bill Carlton's quest for the #1 Missile Command score...The 2001 Superbowl of Patriots over Rams (I like the NFL Network)...The new 'IFC Media Project' is really good--with the 4 reporters; but where is Gideon Yago?..
Comedians: Greg Behrendt, old Zack Galifinakis, Denis Leary's "Lock + Load", Danny Bhoy, Louis C. K.'s "Shameless", Jim Jefferies' "I Swear To God",
Crappy cable movies: "Poker Run", "Eight Men Out", "Irina Palm", "Devil's Den", "Transporter 3", "Zach and Miri Make a Porno" (I did not know this was a Kevin Smith movie, or I would have seen it 2 years ago), "Twists of Terror", 2009's "Last House on the Left", 2009's "Friday the 13th", "The Jimmy Show", "College", "What Alice Found", "Don't Say A Word", "Miss March", "Someone Like You", "Hard Cash",

Play it Again's: "Swordfish", "Havoc", "Naked Fear", "Henry; Portrait of a Serial Killer", "The Hangover", "Saw",

Watching and Hearing: STP's 2nd show on Jimmy Kimmel, a Chase commercial with Yes' "I've Seen All Good People",

Hearing: The Lost Downtrodden tape, old Rush, Brian Chevalier's "Heavy Chevy", Caviar,
New on the radio; a new Tool CD coming soon--that's all we know for now...From last month, I thought this new song "Teenage Anarchist" sounded like Against Me--I was right!..Not new; but on the college station KWVA I heard a little guy play Rush' "La Villa Strangiato", and that was cool...Ooo, on KRVM (public radio) I heard a sweet track from the new Ty Curtis band CD "Cross That Line"...The new Ozzy title track "I Want to Hear You Scream" is GOOD! Seriously; it's like B+/A- impressive. He can still belt it out at 90% of 1981's Blizzard of Oz...Speaking of the 80's, both Krokus and Ratt have new CD's out...Is that new Sublime? No; it's Dirty Heads...I've only heard 2 of the new STP tracks...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: nope
Out and About: Hall + Oates at Burger King, Heart and Journey at Dollar Tree, Eagles at Carl's Jr.,
Singing: "Grip + Pull"--me + Downtrodden, "No Other Way"--Downtrodden, "The Lemon Song" + "Since I've Been Loving You"--Led Zeppelin,

What I want today: I have a list...

New stuff this month or so: The new bike shop "Simply Cycle" opened up here in Eugene; they had a big grand opening party on 5-1-10...G-13 is my new friend, and is quite popular with my friends..."Alot" is not a word? Shit. And I can even spell "occurred"...Spreading too far, too fast; "3D TV". I will not be a part of that crap, thank you...They have re-made "The A-Team" movie. Why?..Scientists created "synthetic life" in a lab; AS IF real life isn't fucked up enough already...In passing; Ronnie James Dio left us this month, at age 67. That boy could sing. Dennis Hopper also died this month, at age 74...Just over 4 mph; that is how much separates the 33 cars in this year's Indy 500. Quit your bitching, little Danica girl...The gulf oil spill is still gushing after 40 days...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): wraps and dental floss at Dollar Tree.

Occupational Hazards: not shit

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: My last unemployment payment was on 5-12-10...Our 'save-the-earth' 3-way light bulb, that should have lasted at least 5 years, died after about 6 months. Boo. But we got another one...May 25th, 2010 is the 25th anniversary of My Crusade to put back feeling into poetry. Obviously I have fallen short...I tried to start donating plasma again, like at Adventis in Arizona. Turned away on my first day, it was made clear that I need more exercise, and need to drink more water--gout be damned. I definitely do...No income means I am increasing my food stamps, and trying for a minimal gas-allowance while I job-seek...I learned about relationship psychologist Jon--Jonny. He is brilliant...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: fuck the broken pinball, and I'm not in the Golden Tee tournament this round. I'm still winning occasional weeklys though, which is cool.

Perhaps I should just make another new category for (oh fuck, here it comes...):

Grammar. And; of these 2 following, I was WRONG on one. Okay? This isn't just me whining about how all people are stupid. "Alot", and "seperate" are the 2 words we will work with today:

"Alot". I forget which English teacher it was, but it was in 1 of my 4 college English classes. College; these silly bitches are SUPPOSED to know shit, right? Of course. So one of these college-degreed cunts went on a rant one day about the abuse of the term "a lot". She said that a "lot" is (not an adverb) a comparitive noun, and a measurement of something large; as in, a "lot" of trees, or a "lot" of cars (yes, like a parking lot). She said that you CANNOT like something "a lot", and that a person CANNOT have "a lot" of fun on a vacation. This made sense to me, and still does. The term that we were reaching for, according to her, was the single word "alot". She said that most common people were too stupid to realize how wrong they were. I was inspired. I've spent the last 26 years correcting people who misuse this term "a lot". BUT; as it turns out, "alot" isn't even a fucking word. College bitch made this up. Foolish me for believing any woman about any thing in my pathetic life. Keep using the words “a lot” to emphasise extremes. It looks wrong (to me), but is apparently correct to write “This is a lot that I like a lot.” Jeezus fucking dumbshit. Next!

“Seperate”. You see it all the time in newspapers and magazines. Hotels promote “seperate” beds or bedrooms. “Seperate” was on the front page of our fucking newspaper today. WRONG! The word is “separate”. Every version of this word, hang on, because you’re dumb; EVERY version of this word has an “a” as the 4th letter; “separation”, “separatist”. Hang on--no, shut up, there are no exceptions. In fact (let’s just make this easy), there is NO word in the English language that starts with the 4 letters “sepe-”. None. Go find a dictionary. And not just you, but me too. Hang on. Yeah, yeah; thanks. Some of the voices in my head want me to remind you that these people who PRINT newspapers, and others who CREATE the wording on hotel brochures, are supposedly college graduates. Ha. I giggle. I giggle a lot! Now come and separate my hairy white cheeks.

Apparently when stupid people run around misspelling words for decades, then the misspelling becomes an accepted form. This is more proof that 80% to 90% of people are stupid; and if you disagree on that, then guess what that makes you? 'TUPID! More? Okay--one last thought: MY dictionary is a 1563 page Webster's reference from 1985, and it has some different information than these new reference guides, bitch. Thank you.

New foods this month: Kitchen Sink pasta! It had everything; fake cheez, crumbles, tomatocado, + seaweed--it was excellent! NO leftovers!..Beer is food; my bar has a new Oregon beer, Widmere's "Sunburn". It's delicious!..Hot sauce is food? Sure. I really like the black label Valentina picante salsa--extra hot! Yum on my nachos!..New restaurant; the Govinda vegetarian buffet, which is 80% vegan. I took my girlfriend for her birthday week, and the food was above average...My newest brewed tea is; 2 green, 1 lemon, 1 peppermint, 1 berry (yum)...Bullet Nachos! Clusterfuck in a blender! Details; take the 3 parts of tomato, onion, and serrano peppers. We can now add a garlic clove! Now we need a little liquid; so that's lemon juice and Valentina hot sauce (using hot sauce as my Bullet liquid is pure genius, thank you). Mix for 5 seconds, and it creates this smoking hot, fuming goop that makes you cry as you dump it out. It saves a plate, and saves about 5 minutes of cutting and mixing. I think I'm in love with my new nachos!..Then I had to try "slam-chop" nachos, which were even better than the bullet ones. I hadn't used my slam-chop since getting my Magic Bullet...

This month of Blues Jamming: 5-6-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Scotty B on harp, Brian C + Ra on guitars, JP and Jimmy D drums. Set 2 was Z-Bass, Mark the Harp, Morgan + Ri on guitars, Lenny drums, (poor guy had just walked with me) Mike on keys. Set 3 started with JP on bass and Mark on keys, then it went back to Z-Bass, regular JP and Mark, Ra + Ro on guitars, Axel drums and sings. 4 was Z-Bass (all night), Ra, Ri + Max on 3 guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums...5-13-10; set 1 Z-Bass, Scotty B on harp, Brian Chevalier and Ra on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums. 2 was T-Mart bass, Mark the Harp, Morgan and Ri on guitars, Lenny drums, JP, Janie on sax, Val sang, too...3 was Z-Bass, Scotty B again, Jimmy B and Ro on guitars, Jared on sax, Jimmy D drums. 4 was T-Mart, then Z-Bass, Horn Boy Jeff on trumpet, both Jared + Janie on sax, Max, Ra + Ri on 3 guitars, JP (crowded stage). Jimmy D drums. Horn Boy Jeff was pissed (and stomped out) about not getting to play heads-up with Max...5-20-10; set 1 Russ on bass, Brian C and Ra on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums (no harp). set 2 was T-Mart, Mark the Harp, Morgan + Billy Jay on guitars, Lenny drums, Val sang 2. Set 3 was Z-Bass (finally), Ra and Ro on guitars, JP, Axel drums and sings. Set 4 was Z-Bass, Max and Ri on guitars, JP, and Golf Shoes (Billy) drums...5-27-10; I skipped it; felt bad, sickly, and broke...

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God? Sure. Religion? No...Comedians rip religion apart--it ain't that hard to. I was told of a bumper sticker that says 'The bible was brought to you by people who thought the earth was flat.' Yes. And they thought that the stars revolved around earth, too. Many religions did re-writes from geo- to heliocentric. But God doesn't get a re-write. GOD is either a force with 2 equal parts of dark and light, OR, OUR human God is the pilot of the spaceship that dropped off some beings to breed with the cavemen. I have no problem in admitting that common sense does not mix well with common beliefs. Wait; let's just go back to the beginning. God? Sure. Religion? No.

What's different here than in college town: Being test-marketed here in Oregon are these new tobacco candies, called "Camel Orbs"; they come in a case that looks like a cell phone (to fool parents), and this just seems like the dumbest thing ever...(Near) You cannot be put in jail for yelling "Snake!" here, but you can if you do so in Flowery Branch, GA...Our 4 local "Gold's Gym"'s have filed for bankruptcy; yawn...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Oregon will have the largest wind farm in the world--it's already approved...Oregon has the lowest childhood obesity rate (#1) in the nation...Oregon is #2 nationally in hunger, which is weird, considering how well we get food from supply to demand...Speaking of food; 1 in 6 Oregonians are currently on food stamps. Ah, the economic recovery...Oregon is the #3 nation leader in seat-belt use, behind Michigan and Hawaii...Oregon, as a state, is supposedly $563 million underwater; money will be cut from schools and public works. Ooo, now it's $577 million... Arizona hospitals are dealing with some new crazy drug-resistant flu/fever thing, "Clostridium difficile". I don't know, man, I can't read every medical conspiracy article out there...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): 5-4, I worked for an hour, and cleared about 1/6 of it...5-5; rainy + messy, but still got 1 quadrant (25%) fully cleared...5/8; we went to Saturday Market and got some starters. I'm growing some hot peppers this year!..5-14, 1/2 cleared...5-29; we bought 2 more cherry tomato plants, and 2 watermelon plants...

Life with Static Girl: My Static Girl has so many good things going for her; AND, her birthday was on 5-11-10. She is a wonderous babe radiating with inner beauty, and she deserves another poem...She has said before that she would like to dye her hair green and purple. But I don't think she will do this, because that would bring more attention to her. Continuing with her hair; she does not use color to hide the gray. And her silver streaks make her look even more delicious. She is bewitchingly beautiful...When she and I met; I had my shit all together, and SHE was suicidal. Boy; how the roles have reversed now...Since she's been dating me, she has developed an appreciation for stomach antacids (or maybe I give her heartburn). We now have 6 open bottles of Dollar Store Tums in our place...I got the bathtub drain fixed, but then I destroyed the entire bathroom with bleach water, creating toxic fumes that almost killed all of my women here. But I learned from it, and was pretty much forgiven...

My FCP has this for me: Short notes of admiration and encouragement. I need stuff like that.

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: The people of Greece are rioting because they understand how badly their government is screwing them. What, exactly, is our excuse?..U. S. National Debt Soars Past $13 Trillion...The bottom 40 percent of all income earners in the United States now collectively own less than 1 percent of the nation’s wealth...

A thought to take with you: "You can’t be neutral on a moving train."--Howard Zinn

"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever."--George Orwell

On a Nature show about baby mammals, the announcer said 'all mammal babies are curious'. Really? How about me? Do I look curious to you, dipshit? I am not curious now, nor have I ever been so. Fuck this. "Some mammal babies are bored and disinterested."

Real Oregon Bumper Stickers: "Now Is All You Have" (I couldn't agree more.), "Kiss Me, I'm Organic", "Everyone Deserves Music", and a t-shirt "Keep Staring, I might do a trick."

Band names: "Dollar Store Tums", "Fuming Goop",
"Lethal Poop Sticks"--Chris Hardwick/Web Soup,


July 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: I finished "Go Green, Live Rich" by David Bach. Now; listen to me: there is NOTHING in the book about making $. So all of his promo about 'getting rich by going green' is bullshit. But; credit where it's due, this IS a good book with over 50 hands-on examples of how you can do more than you currently are to help the world. I was impressed on both counts; that he LIED about making money, and that he HELPED with good ideas to save. When you are flat fucking broke like I am, "saving" does NOT equal "making" any money. Sorry, Dave.
Then I finished "Food Rules" by Michael Pollan. A very short, incredibly good book that we ALL need to read. It takes less than 2 hours; find one, and be a better person for it.
Starting on "Last Words" by George Carlin now. Ooo; for my girlfriend's next Amazon order I will get Jeff Yeagers "The Ultimate Cheapskate's Roadmap to True Riches".
I've also been reading more of Joe, and his Joe Bageant website.

Watching: Stanley Cup finals; the weekend games are on network tv, but weeknight games go back to the VS. network (Go Chicago!)...The week after Indy, Indy cars race only on the VS. network...

Class Projects: Nova, Nature, animal shows, CSI Miami, House, Bones, a Firefly, Oregon Art Beat, the top 10 of VH-1's 'top songs of the 90's',
movies together: nope, she won't sit still for that long.

Shit I watch alone: Tosh.0 is back!..Burn Notice is back...I like Mary on "In Plain Sight" (Mary McCormack)...TRU tv's "It Only Hurts When I Laugh" is my favorite show right now...Rescue Me comes back June 29th, which is also the same day that Louis CK's new show on F/X starts...World Cup Soccer (I am rooting for Argentina, because the Argentina basketball team beat team USA in 2004)..."Hot in Cleveland" is plenty good enough; I'd watch it just to drool over Jane Leeves, but Betty White also gets great lines..."GasLand" on HBO; that was absolutely amazing..."Limo Bob" on TRU tv is okay..."Late Night Liars" is dumb...The clip show "Smash Cuts" is weak, but "Whacked Out Sports" is incredible..."Bait Car" is pretty funny, too.
PS: The first "Rescue Me" back was weak; I hope they get better. Louis CK's show is getting shitty reviews, but I thought both the first 2 episodes were excellent..
Comedians: Daniel Tosh (2007), Chelsea Handler (2007), Eddie Ifft, (brand new) Hal Sparks "Charmageddon" on Showtime (brilliant), The Amazing Jonathan (again), Sarah Silverman "Jesus is Magic" (again), Lewis Black's "Stark Raving Black", Bob Saget's "That Ain't Right", Juston McKinney's "Middle Class Hole"; "The Green Room with Paul Provenza" on Showtime is great, (excellent comedy movie, premiered on Showtime 6-10-10:) "I Am Comic",
Crappy cable movies: Rob Zombie's animated "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto", "Lord of the G-Strings", "YPF", "Vagabond", "The Perfect Witness" (2nd best no-star movie ever), "Adulthood",

Play it Again's: "She's Too Young", "Thank You For Smoking", "Fear",

Watching and Hearing: Metallica's "Seek + Destroy" in a Nascar commercial, Hocus Pocus' "Focus" in a World Cup promo, then U2's "Out of Control" in another World Cup promo; a commercial for a (sweet) 3 CD set "The Alt Vault" is all 90's music from my radio days. BTW; I am not here to pinpoint EVERY dumbass modern song in a tv commercial. 3 Days Grace, and 30 Seconds to Mars are both in current ads--fuck, yes, there's another current out there, too. And there's new Weezer music in at least 2 different new movies. So what? I am here to nail down the obscure shit that you DON'T know--like those excellent World Cup promos, bitch...I got it back! Finally; the Sundance channel re-ran the 4-hour Tom Petty special "Running Down A Dream". Yay. It's gooood...
(On it's own line:) Holy Shit! Pink Floyd's "The Wall" was on the Fuse channel. I watched about an hour of it.

Hearing: Brian Chevalier's "Heavy Chevy" (super impressive). "Bleed Like Me"--Garbage, the "Spawn" soundtrack from 1997, Rise Against, 2 Anberlin CD's, tons of single songs from the 90's, Volbeat, Starship's greatest hits,
New on the radio; I heard a new Tool song. Yes I did. It sounded good--sounded like every other Tool song I've ever heard...I heard one new Eminem song--it was okay...Widespread Panic has a new CD, and they're coming out here on their tour. Sigh; wish I had some money...The new Rise Against is pretty good...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Will I get the new Tool CD with plasma money, or trade some less-than-necessary CD's for it? Wait; first it has to be released officially, and that has not happened yet. Hmmm...
Out and About: Natalie Merchant and U2 at Burger King, Collective Soul at Fred Meyer,
Singing: "Take Your Fingers From My Hair"--Zebra, "Josephina"--Gene Loves Jezebel, "It's All Over But The Crying" and "Why Don't You Come Over"--Garbage, "That's When I Reach For My Revolver"--(I sing Moby's version), "Fly Robin Fly"--Silver Convention, "Gone Away"--Offspring,

What I want today: I want to slap EVERY person in the United States, and scream "Wake up!".

New stuff this month or so: Ken Griffey Jr. retires, boo..."Web Soup" is 1 yr. old...Cadillac has a new ride that costs $K88...Crowds gather to pay money for the new iPhone 4 (Aren't people fascinating?)...UGA grad John Isner (Go Dawgs!) is now my favorite tennis player, and was the winner of that 11-hour tennis match at Wimbledon...South Carolina came out wicked strong and won the college world series. Congrads to my 'super chickens'!..Oh! I forgot! The best ex-girlfriend ever, mine mine mine mine, informed me that my old 2nd home in Athens, Steverino's, is now gone. Boo.

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): candles at Dollar Tree,

Occupational Hazards: A green job is what I want...Wait; I either want to work to save this stupid planet, or I want to dissolve this stupid planet. Pain is motivation...It is hard to believe that somebody who can speak like I can is having trouble finding a job.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: I placed (top 3) in the last poker game of May, and took 2nd in the first game of June. The BIG $50 poker tournament was on 6-6-10 (I came in 5th, not bad)...On 6-3-10, I participated in a 2-hour unemployment program, "Ofset", that compensated me a $30 gasoline voucher. Trading my time for "gas" bothers me, but it had to be done...I am implementing speed-walking as part of my fitness program. I can tell the difference it makes!..6-8-10; (Because the Dollar Tree generic poo was making my head itch;) I got my head shaved again, and bought some new White Rain shampoo that is made in America ...6-11-10; on my 3rd attempt in 3 weeks, I was finally allowed to start donating plasma again...This month; 2 silent firsts for me. (1) I saw a guy wearing a Pink Floyd shirt, but I did not say a word to him. And (2) I walked by a group of guys throwing frisbee, but did not say a word to them/ask to throw it, either. (I'm getting quiet in my old age.)...I placed in a couple of my own poker tournaments in mid-June...I am changing my life for the new economy. It won't help much, but what the hell?..I was quoted June 18th, on the Liberty Blog; "", and the attempt was to make me look incorrect. I am not. Apparently the P.H. "Duh"'s of the world have successfully and conclusively associated the combo of words "fair trade" to mean "protectionism"; or, restrictions/tariffs on imported goods. I did not know this. I thought that "fair trade" meant fair pay to fairly treated workers for fair products (silly me). I also thought that it was 4th grade OBVIOUS how "free trade" leads to sweat-shops, exploited overseas employees, and our present national dilemma of American out-sourcing. Duh? But the (ooo, ooo, I went to college for 8 years) "Dr."'s don't see it that way. Aren't they cute? But I am formally requesting, guys, please don't take any revenge on Marky Mark and those "doctors of duh". It ain't worth the effort...At the end of June my weight is down to 211. So I lost about 8 lbs. this month--not bad at all.
I am seriously considering the FINANCIAL need to quit smoking, quit Golden Tee, and quit drinking alcohol--other than the occasional $1 beers....

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: (last sentence, directly above)...In the 90's I could go to Steverino's in Athens and play pinball for 3 hours; I'd drink free soda, and the MOST it cost me was 75 cents (for pinball), and 10-15 cigarettes. Pinball costs 75 cents per game now, but I could treasure it like old times...
New foods this month: I want to try some beer from "Trouble Brewing" (What a name!) out of Kenmore, WA...I am eating less food to save money, and lowering the caloric intake should help my weight...Blue Diamond Almond milk, with neither lactose nor soy, is our new house milk (yum)...Homemade cran-cherry for me...the R Harvest Produce stand is back open; that's blueberries, strawberries, + cherry tomatos for us...

This month of Blues Jamming: 6-3-10; great show. Most of the regulars (minus Scotty B), but NO harp at all! set 1 was: Z-Bass, Brian C. and Ra on guitars, JP, + Jimmy D drums. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Ri and Morgan on guitars, Axel drums (sings), Mark the Harp on keys (pulled tooth--no harp or singing), set 3 was Kyle's band Highwater (Nate sings + guitar, Rai Wheat on stand-up bass, Justin on mandolin + banjo) with Lenny on drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Ra and Max on guitars, JP, and Jimmy D drums...6-10-10. No Jam for me. Being broke cuts again...6-17-10; Z-Bass made sure I got a couple of beers! Tre and K were there, but only as customers! set 1 (standard); Z-Bass, Ra + Ri on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, Jimmy D drums. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Ro + Billy Jay on guitars, Mark the Harp, Axel drums and sings ("Mustang Sally" became an entire bar project). 3 was Z-Bass, Max + Ra on guitars, JP, Lenny drums.4 was T-Mart, Max + Ri on guitars, Jimmy D drums. Great night!..6-24-10; OUTSIDE! set 1 Z-Bass, Brian C. and Ri on guitars, Scotty B harps, Jimmy D drums, + JP. 2 was Russ-Bass, Max + Ra guitars, Mark the Harp, JP, Axel drums. 3 was T-Mart Bass, Ri + Ra guitars, Lenny drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Ri, Ra + Max on 3 guitars, Golf Shoes drums. Wow. I sold a few CD's for Brian C, which also leads to a missed extra Blues Jam--6-26-10, Saturday at Mac's at the Vets: the official CD Release Party for Brian Chevalier's "Heavy Chevy" (20 songs for $5; best deal ever!). I was broke, but sat at home and listened to the CD while also e-mailing him and wishing him well. Go Brian! Google "Heavy Chevy" and see if you can get to his website.

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God has "no comment" at this time.

What's different here than in college town: Athens has better fields to throw on, yes, but both the UO womens AND mens Ultimate teams are ranked #1 in the nation. Both. And the "Heisman Trophy" of Ultimate Frisbee, the Callahan Trophy, this year was awarded to Eli Friedman, a graduating UO senior, and Eugene native...Yes; and the UO men's golf team is #1 (Good luck to the UGA women's softball team.)...In football, Oregon has dumped starting quarterback Jeremiah Masoli for his 3rd offense (1st was robbery, then a suspended license, and now marijuana possession). Were he in Georgia, he would have been disciplined so as to not have gotten a 2nd offense...A Costco is going to open soon in Roseburg; they will hire 100 new people. So far they have already received over 3000 applications. (Show me the jobs recovery!)...Similar, sort of. I have found a bar with monthly pinball tournaments. Now I must go and present myself...Our little town is hosting the NCAA track + field championships. Look at me caring so much...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Ooo! Congrads to Arizona for winning Bill Maher's "Stupidest State Award" on 6-11-10...The Oregon State Board of Pharmacy voted to recognize pot as a drug that has medical use, making Oregon the first state in the nation to officially re-classify the drug as having an acceptable medical use...Speaking of "illegal" stuff, (back in Arizona during June) 2 Sizzler restaurants were "raided" and at least 9 employees were arrested on suspicion of being illegal immigrants. Hopefully Sheriff Joe and his deputies will also go after the Sizzler' OWNERS, who knowingly hire illegals on a regular basis...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): We have been threatened to clear out our plot, or we will lose it. Those damn weeds. I cleared for over an hour on 6-15-10...Then on 6-18, somebody has taken a weed-whacker to it, and cleared it out for us. Cool...

Life with Static Girl: She is great. Unfortunately she will not be e-journalling everyday like she did in May; so you'll only get the random updates. I mean "we"; WE'LL only be getting the random updates... Better than bologna: My girlfriend has a first name, it's...I have an older file of 16 or so songs that I call "Static Girl Songs". Sometimes when I am at my computer, I will play them--and she never complains...ENTIRE CONVERSATIONS; She just stands there while I do both sides of a talk between us. I can usually guess her next comment. It's fun for me, and an effort-saver for her. If she needs to correct me, then she does--and then I continue on with the conversation. I try to make it easy for her, and she appreciates that...I have personal, often self-induced tachycardia; my heart can beat 4 or 5 times per second easily. I can MAKE it happen pretty much whenever I want to--it'll probably kill me someday. So what? But my heart BEATS fairly regularly; one strong, one soft, one strong one soft. You've heard this before, maybe even in your own chest--it's what hearts do. But my girlfriend has the most amazing and irregular heartbeat, EVER! It can NOT beat for 2 or 3 seconds, and then it might double beat 3 or 4 times in a row. Sometimes it does triple soft beats, and/or triple hard beats. Weird, huh? It is the most scary/entertaining/unique/unpredictable thing ever! I sit and fucking giggle when I listen to her heart. And the best part of the whole deal is...wait for it...she completely denies having an irregular heartbeat. Ha! MY girlfriend!..Thanks to my rich Static Girl, we are now sponsors/members of the local "Firemed" emergency ambulance membership program...We are leaving on the first day of July to go spend almost a week with her Static Parents. I'll be fine, but her head might explode. No, really--I'm serious. Stay tuned.

My FCP has this for me: She may be moving again soon. But she is holding down sanity very well. And like Static Girl AND myself, she looks FANTASTIC for her age...

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: There are 3600 oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico. Did you know that? Do you think that only ONE of those rigs is in trouble?..After 43 days of oil spilling into the gulf, BP's stock has finally tumbled. Wow; stock market people are smart...HP to cut 9,000 more jobs...McDonald's in the U.S. is recalling 12 million "Shrek"-themed drinking glasses because of cadmium in the painted design...2010: Teens Face Worst Summer Job Market in 41 Years...Oakland, CA is firing 200 poice officers...Kellogg Co. issued a voluntary recall on 28 million boxes of cereal, citing "uncharacteristic off-flavor and smell"...

A thought to take with you: Yeah, here's one. We save water here. We barely flush the toilets, and usually do short showers. I've mastered the "speed-washing" of dishes in the sink. We recycle old water from the day before into our plants. Every "use" of water here has been "adjusted" by us--we are paying attention. We are good. Then; I go speed-walking, or bike-riding on the bike path toward town. The bike path goes behind a popular car wash. All day, every day, you see 300lb. people out there spray-washing their big, gas-guzzling SUV's. And these fat fucks act like it's the most natural thing in the world. Maybe, just maybe; yes, the back of that car wash is where I should start my killing spree. Never mind; la la la la, disregard this entire paragraph.

"Know to where you are walking."--some person named Pedro

Oregon Bumper Sticker: "I Seen 'Em",

Band names: "Neatly Folded Screams"--The Perfect Witness, "Supersonic Tsunami"--Gulf methane possibility,


August 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: want to read/should read "Young World Rising: How Youth, Technology And Entrepreneurship Are Changing The World From The Bottom Up" by Rob Salkowitz...

Watching: From Colorado; ABC had nothing worse to do (literally), so they showed the Watkins Glen Indy Car race (yay)...Showtime's "The Green Room with Paul Provenza" is getting great reviews--as it should...

Class Projects: "Warehouse 13" is back! I love the writing, and the jokes--even when the plots are a bit too far gone...Nature, NOVA, Oregon Art Beats
movies together: Most of Wall E...

Shit I watch alone: "Rescue Me" (perhaps it was bound to happen) is getting a bit watered down--I want to see more insanity/hallucinations, more slow-motion, more blood, and hear more obscure music...Right after "Rescue Me", also on FX, is the excellent "Louie" show (Louis CK)..."Inside Secret..." on SyFy was pretty good..."Fact or Faked: Paranormal Files" on USA is good enough...I have to check out "The Colony" (ehhh)...I LOVE my new DVD "Pinball 101", bought at Lyons Clasic Pinball; it is very educational...
Comedians: Pablo Francisco's "Ouch" (from 2006),
Crappy cable movies: "Definitely Maybe", "The Grudge 2", "Turistas", "Ocean's 12",

Play it Again's: "Rest Stop", "The Usual Suspects",

Watching and Hearing: On F/X, the Sons of Anarchy promos use The Doors vs. The Crystal Method "Roadhouse Blues" (Original Dub--I think)...

Hearing: Delta gets a thumbs-up for their 7 classic rock songs. The only one I could easily live without is Genesis' "Abacab". Included are; my favorite Yes song "Starship Trooper", Pink Floyd's "Pigs" (unedited), and to the immortal dismay of BOTH my parents, yes folks, the brilliant Rush instrumental "YYZ" ignites the skyway (wooo)...Back at home; we pulled out old Yes, 2 Fig Dish CD's, Hockey, Heavy Chevy, Fig Dish, Rise Against and Anberlin do not leave my desk.
New on the radio; The new Anberlin sounds pretty good...Randy Bachman and C. F. (Fred) Turner are back; new music and a tour. No; I am not kidding...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: nada
Out and About: Toad the Wet Sprocket at Fred Meyer, REM at Burger King, Jesus Jones at Staples...Out and about? Yeah, I've got an 'out and about' for ya; on poker Tuesday, 7-20, at the bar: DJ Barkeep played the Volbeat CD FOUR times in a row! Then on 7-22, post Blues Jam, he played it again!...
Singing: What songs would flow through my head (and also my dreams) on a week away from home? It's NO surprise that the most often mumbled tune was Rise Against's "Savior", or that #2 was Volbeat's "Still Counting". What I didn't see coming were the Who's "Pinball Wizard", or Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket". Very interesting...Back in Oregon, contemplating my fate to; "Pretty Never Hurts" and "Eyesore"--Fig Dish (Eyesore is my favorite Fig Dish song), "Not Again"--Crumb, "Jane Says"--Jane's Addiction, "Guitar Gangsters and Cadillac Blood"--Volbeat, a couple of Christopher Cross songs, "My Own Worst Enemy"--Lit, "Allstar"--Fastball,

What I want today: I will get the 10 lb. ankle weights--they're at Wal-Mart. They are gorgeous, and adjustable. Five separate pockets with 2 lb. (removable) weights in them. Imagine the possibilities--like wearing my 3 lb. weights on my wrists!..Also at Wal-Mart (they have a whole section of 'as seen on tv' things), I want the 'topsy turvy' tomato-grower thing; in fact, I predict that the topsy turvy thing will become very popular...From the airplane "Sky" book, kitchen floor gel-mats from GelPro . You stand on them while cooking/preparing, etc., and they energize your legs (a fucking brilliant idea--I should have come up with it)...Okay; I don't watch Mad Men, and don't care. But (Esquire's sexiest woman alive) Christina Hendricks is a mesmerizing, pale-skinned, faux-redheaded goddess...And if/since we're doing tv babes, then "Rescue Me"'s Andrea Roth "Janet" is the ideal Barbie wife, and Callie Thorne "Sheila" is the ultimate 'other woman'...I also want a full-sized bicycle. I like Z-Bass' old bike, but it's made for a kid...I want my own electric razor, so I can give myself cheap razor haircuts...

New stuff this month or so: Who knew? Colorado has won the title of "thinnest" (or 'least obese' overall) state in the U.S....Fort Collins, the college town of Static Girl and her Static Brother J, has more medical marijuana clinics and dispensaries than you can count. Some even offer free grams of bud to first-time patients/customers; imagine the SHOCK of my girlfriend's straight-arrow family...The R Harvest Produce stand (here) has more customers than ever--even dumb people are starting to care about their quality of food intake...Boo the guinea pig is living downstairs for now..."Imagine a world where men get a shot every month or two, and no pregnancy is unplanned." Israeli scientists have developed a way to deactivate a sperm protein necessary for conception, in a monthly shot for males, with NO side effects OR lingering impotence...Carl's Jr/Hardees is trying out a new 12-inch long burger (I am intrigued)...California is so broke that they are considering 4 production plants to grow and process marijuana, on an industrial-scale (in Oakland, I think). The Wal-Marting of weed. Why not?..Cheerleading is no longer (or) was not ever considered a collegiate "sport" (and I'll sleep better now)...There's a new skinny black-ish cat hanging around our front, and next door. I call him Slim Shady...Dex's Deli finally got the new sign up. That's a good new local business; Dex is going to get a Golden Tee game in there eventually; so I'll have Golden Tee in my neighborhood...Boo the guinea pig got sick in the last week of July, but seems to be making a recovery!..

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): hair conditioner (ha), wraps, lemon juice, and strawberry newtons at Dollar Tree

Occupational Hazards: The greenest of green jobs; I could go back to being a dealer if I grew my own pot. Then I'd be a grower/dealer/promoter extraordinaire...

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: On the night of the trip to CO, I stayed up for 36 hours straight, wearing (3 lb.) leg weights (through 3 airports) for the final 14 hours--I'd like to see some other 44 yr. old pull that off...The entire 1st week of July was quite revealing. Much personal growth, exploration and experimentation, revelations, and interesting dreams...I must strenuously apologize for some of the type-o's here on my own website, mostly in commentaries past. I will keep correcting the mistakes as I find them. Special thanks to ALL those who have e-mailed me; I really appreciate it...Back from vacation, and eating way too much, I still lost 2 more lb.s; down to 209 on 7-8-10...On 7-17-10, I almost got bored (I never get bored). For what it is worth, I can still string pretty words together...For about 17 hours over 2 days, I owned a washing machine; it lived in my van...Adding some air to both bike tires makes it pedal a bit easier, but I still want a bigger bike...The "Rain Forest" Nag Champa incense might be my favorite...Devastating; Static Grandma passed away on a late Friday in July. She will be missed...Football season starts soon; should I pick a new AFC East team to root for? The Jets look strong again; hmmm...On 7-28, I went to the library to hear a talk by author Jeff Yeager, who is the "Ultimate Cheapskate". It was great, and I got both of my new books autographed. Also on 7-28, I got a new toothache; yay...208 lbs. fully dressed on 7-29...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: I scored 120 million on a difficult T2 pinball at Lyons Classic Pinball; a new #2 score...

Grammar: Hello again. Apparently we took last month off from "grammar". But this is a real, live section of my Sidebar now, bitches. So wake up, and make sure your reference books are within reach. This month we will tackle "apologise" and "lose"; they share similar misconceptions:

"Apologise". Really? On what fucking planet did you dream up this shit. And--oh yes--it was YOU who dreamed up this shit. Go check on this yourself, doormat, as there is NO version of "apologize" with an "s". Well, wait, there is one--"apologist", but that's a different animal; in fact, it's a DUMBER animal than the word you should be using instead; "apologizer". Use the "z"; respect the "z"; love the "z". This is not that hard. This is 2nd grade, or maybe 4th grade; but either way, it's pre-middle school. Huh? Sure. Some of the voices in my head want me to remind you REALLY dumb fucks that there is NO word spelled "realise", either. Cancel "recognise", too. I think MY head may explode soon. Next!

"Lose". This word is pronounced with a hard "s"; it sounds like a "z". You can "lose" your car keys, "lose" your homework, and "lose" your mind. But DO NOT use "lose" when you mean "loose". "Loose", with TWO o's, has a soft "s". You probably have "loose" change your pocket. Dumb parents let their kids run around "loose". Rod Stewart sang to "loosen up that pretty French gown"--on the way to "losing" your virginity. You are smarter than a speed bump (Aren't you?). Pay attention. See; it has become obvious to me (but to very few others) that "spell-check" does not work in context. Again; I "apologize" for the far-too-many type-o's on this website--sometimes I type too "loosely".

New foods this month: Cucumbers, and more cherry tomatos from R Harvest...Ground fresh almond butter, and a 'living basil' garden thingie from WinCo...Portabello "steaks" on a bed of mushroom rice; yum...My first batch of homemade veggie soup, which incorporates a white-trash bean soak, went very well. Static Girl really liked it; which, um, no, I did not think she would...Grape tomatos are back!..2nd batch of veggie soup also went very well...

This month of Blues Jamming: I missed 7-1-10 while on holiday...7-8-10; another outside party with bonus features! Set 1 was Ra on Bass (!), Brian C. + Ri on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, and Axel drums. 2 was Z-Bass, Max + Max Sr. (!) on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP, and Golfshoes drums (Max Sr. did "Mustang Sally" with no help). Val + Wendy sang together. 3 was Z-Bass, Ro + Ra on guitars, with Brian C. on drums (!). More? Yes; Z-Bass pulled out Buck Naked's "Teenage Pussy From Outer Space" (!), and "Speaker Monkey". 4 was Z-Bass, Max + Ra on guitars, JP, and Axel drums again. Somewhere (probably set 3) was Axel's "Back to Memphis". I long-walked with Rhonda (during set 2), and short-walked with Wade + Bobby (during set 3, B slid me a large nugget)...7-15-10, outside again. 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP starts on guitar/moves to keys, Jimmy D drums. Brian C. picks up the zydeco, Axel played the metal Bib, then sang Back to Memphis. I short-walked solo. Set 2 was Ra on bass, Brian C. and Morgan singing/guitars, Mark the Harp (yes, that's 3 band leaders), Axel drums, Val sang 2. I short-walked with Rhonda. Set 3 was Z-Bass, Robert + John on guitars, Ray on harp (all 3 from the band "Blue Max"), Golfshoes drums. Set 4 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy D drums...7-22-10 more outside. 1 (after I almost got in a fight with harmonica Harley and his boyfriend, Mark the Harp came in halfway through the set) was Z-Bass, Ra + Jay X (both on Novak) guitars, Rob keys, Jimmy D drums. 2 was Russ-bass, Brian C + Ri on guitars, Mark the Harp, Golfshoes drums. Val sang 1, Axel sang Back to Memphis. Short walk with Rhonda. 3 was Z-Bass, Max + Morgan on guitars, Axel drums, Toussaint Thompson on keys, James on congo. BC played 1 on zydeco. 4 was Z-Bass, Ra + Chris on guitars, Jimmy D drums, Rob on keys. Axel sang Get a Haircut/Get a Real Job...7-29-10; under the stars again! 1 was T-Mart bass, Ri on 1 + Brian C on 2 guitars--and the zydeco(!), Jimmy D drums, JP on keys for 2nd half. Val sang 1. 2 was Z-Bass, Ra + TRE on guitars, Mark the Harp, Axel drums, JP on keys. Val sang again, Axel did Mustang Sally as a class project. 3 was T-Mart bass, Morgan + Kyle on guitars, Golfshoes drums, JP on keys. I short-walked with K + M. Among 3 + 4, Axel sang Back to Memphis + Get a Haircut. Set 4 was Z-Bass, Ra + Max on guitars, Lenny drums, JP on keys.

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: I zig-zag between thinking that God "ought" to exist, and expecting God to exist--and be held accountable!

What's different here than in college town: Wait; UGA's athletic director, Damon Evans, was arrested for DUI? See; HE could afford a cab ride...In Marcola, Ore., Two hundred fifty people jumped in a pool together (naked) hoping to top the Guinesss World record for skinny-dipping (I can't look). 13K total in the world...Sun power? Although Arizona has more sun (?) than any other state, but they don't got no solar franchises. Oregon is chock full of solar companies; manufacturers, start-ups, and entrepreneurs. Something is weird in that...At a Eugene Emeralds baseball game, a new record number of people "moonwalked" this month (hey, there's crazy all over this town/state; I love it)...We got enough signatures! This Fall, Oregon voters get to decide if the state is going to have marijuana dispensaries; yay...Sabre-toothed Salmon; the U of O has a 5 million yr. old fish...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: In June, actually; The continental 48 all had higher and dryer temperatures, except for 2 states--Washington and Oregon, which were cooler and darker (and wetter) than normal (yay, us)...Phoenix, Arizona features an astounding annual car theft rate of 57,000 vehicles (the highest total in America)...Oregon has the highest total number of breweries, per capita, in the country. Colorado has the most total breweries; this is important information here...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): Static Babe and I went (to Saturday Market on 7-10) and got more plants; basil, watermelons, and a couple more cherry tomatos...7-18; we planted more! We now have a "strawberry pool"! (I named it--can you tell?) We also have a purple Aster flower, even MORE basil growing (we have a "basil 6-pack" beside a basil flagpole), celery, and a Georgia sweet potato, too...My 4 tomato plants make a "tomato forest"; and all 4 have fruit on them. So that's; strawberry pool, basil 6-pack, and tomato forest--if you're scoring at home.

Life with Static Girl: She survived the week with her parents, and her head did not explode. Her whole family is pretty cool--as far as families go...She is such a fantastic companion; I like walking with her--anywhere she is willing to walk. It's a great excuse to hold hands. Yay us...Not very girly, my girlfriend is. But I can dream of her wearing Michelle Pfeiffer's latex Catwoman suit from 92's "Batman Returns". 'Oh man', she would look so good...Her "Summer trim" may have helped inspire me this season...I like to remember, recall and retell stories of our early days together. And she lets me do this history in my own crazy way. She's a good audience, and a great partner...I only asked for one book on her next Amazon run; she bought me BOTH books by Jeff Yeager...Procrastination; she waited until the last day of July to send out her July postcards. I am rubbing off on her...

My FCP has this for me: I have found another vacation spot I want to take her to...Yes, and perhaps this vacation spot (Lyons, CO) has inspired me into a new rush of pinball and poetry. Imagine a pinball poem. She is my long-distance pinball machine; I like to imagine what my hands could do to her...I tangented on her being a fragrant flannel shirt that I obsess over. Nice...

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: (7-7-10) "More Than 12 Percent of Mortgages Nationwide Delinquent or in Foreclosure" (WRH)...Wells Fargo to cut 3800 more jobs...Home foreclosures to top 1 million in 2010...Bell, CA pays their city officials more than anywhere else; some are paid more than the president...

A thought to take with you: Many thoughts. Perhaps I will create a "note to self" commentary. Mmmm; too harsh. Perhaps I will clean it up a bit. Stay tuned.

Band names: "Cheap Razor Haircuts", "Sabre-Toothed Salmon",
(real Colorado bands "Garage A Trois", and "Second Hand Smokers"--very close to my great idea)..."Dick Vomit" (Tosh.0), "Corruptdate" (Daily Show), "Strip Club Scuffle" (PTI),


September 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: 2 Jeff Yeager books; "The Ultimate Cheapskate's Guide to True Riches" (finished 8-10-10), and his new one "The Cheapskate Next Door"...Then I found this article online called "10 Ways to Save on Drug Costs". But it was not about the drugs (or the costs) that I deal with. Oh well...8-24-10; bussed down to the library in search of other cheapskate books; found "1001 Things They Won't Tell You". It's okay...

Watching: Have you heard of this show "Children's Hospital"? I WANT to see it, but have not yet. The Soup said it was on "Adult Swim", but, not this week, apparently. Oh well.

Class Projects: Warehouse 13 (awesome), Nature, NOVA, House,

movies together: I missed my chance to watch "Finding Nemo" with her. I did get to see the new "Star Trek" again with her.

Shit I watch alone: Dew Action Sports from Portland, random Saturday skateboard stuff, I never watched "Freaks and Geeks" back in 2000, but it's on IFC now--and it's good (I was 14 in 1980), The (new) Kids in the Hall, "Rubicon" is okay, but slow as dirt,

Comedians: more Pablo Francisco re-runs; he is very good...2007's Comedians of Comedy, Dov Davidson's "Filthy Operation", Steve Byrne "The Byrne Identity", Whitney Cummings "Money Shot",

Crappy cable movies: "Pinata: Survival Island", "Mindhunters", "Venom",

Play it Again's: "Deep Blue Sea", "Fast Food Nation", "Point Break", "Who Killed the Electric Car", "The Devil's Rejects",

Watching and Hearing: Earth, Wind and Fire on an ESPN baseball preview (weird, huh?), reworked BOC in another Lincoln commercial, and I OBSESSED after hearing a Nascar promo on ESPN, with a blurb of very dark guitar, it sounded like Tool's "Stinkfist" to me. Um, do Nascar fans like Tool? This may drive me crazy--I only saw it once. Fuckin'-A man, I'll get way more into Nascar if Keenan is singing in their commercials. I can already see "46 + 2" as brilliant background noise for trading paint; can't you? 'Just sayin'...Neon Trees were on the Dew Action Sports thing...

Hearing: Brian Chevalier's "The Way You Look", Filter's "Anthems For The Damned", 2 Fig Dish CD's, Tool "Aenima",

New on the radio; Sirius radio, anyway. The Alt Nation channel is doing a whole big Lollapalooza thing this first week of August..."Black Rain" is redone Soundgarden from 1990; with new vocals and guitar. I don't know how I feel about that, but THEY call it 'new' Soundgarden...New Bad Religion sounds good!..

Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: No. Remember back in May 2010 when I bought (and bragged about) the $5 Heavy Chevy CD? It turns out that Brian Chevalier has other CD's available, too. So (from him, at the first Blues Jam in August, for another $5) I purchased his first CD ever; 1995's “The Way You Look”. This is more amazing stuff here. He sings, and plays all of the instruments! I am a happy guy...On 8-25, back to CDWorld; with poker winnings (yay) I bought the new deluxe Filter CD "The Trouble With Angels". More this weekend!..Yes! On 8-28-10, The Karen Lovely band played live at CDWorld before their downtown gig. I bought their new CD "Still The Rain", got it autographed, heard them play 5 songs, talked to/hugged Karen herself, and I may run off with her babe drummer Terry.

Out and About: Queen and Heart at Burger King, the "Grease" soundtrack at Cash King, Hall and Oates at Dollar Tree,

Singing: "The Thin Ice"--Pink Floyd, "Don't Know How To Be"--God Lives Underwater, "Flagpole Sitta"--Harvey Danger, "Fix You"--Offspring, "Walking On The Moon"--Police, "Teenage Pussy From Outer Space"--Buck Naked and the Bare Bottomed Boys, "Hey Hey, My My"--Neil Young, "Fascination Street"--the Cure, "Ice Cream Man" + "Little Guitars"--Van Halen...I verbally mixed Cracker's "Teen Angst" into Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta", and that was cool.

What I want today: I want to make some of my movies...

New stuff this month or so: Former Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli is in Ole Miss now. For all of football please remember; in college I am an SEC fan. In the NFL I am an AFC East fan (I'll root for both the Patriots AND the Jets this year)...As of August (I guess) the new local "Dropout" entertainment guide has 'dropped out', at least for the Summer...Record temperature here; 8-14-10, 101 degrees...8-24, maybe, the temperature went down and it's been nice for a few days...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): candles and incense at Cash King, shoelaces at Dollar Tree,

Occupational Hazards: Ha. "Work" is so completely overrated.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: I am officially now a "cheapskate". I'm signed up for cheap e-mails; I want to be a 'Miser Advisor', and really dedicate myself to saving our little household some money! This is going to change a few things in my life, but not that many, and it'll keep the crock pot busy...I won $ in 3 August poker games...A 7-day hangover for birthday week...I got the Conair Custom Cut haircut kit (8-10-10), 2 nice front GT tires for Gus (8-11-10), and a new license tag (8-26-10) with my birthday money...Multi-tasking; I cleaned my desk while laundry washed...Cleaning with baking soda is a good thing, yes, but be careful of how slippery it makes the bathtub...Who needs social networks? I'll be shutting down all of that crap soon...Do I really need to further explain my "Sidebars"? Well, listing the house band for Blues Jam has been requested before...8-20-10; starts with a flat bike tire. Got that fixed, then the chain came off mid-ride. So I put the chain back on WITH MY BARE-HANDS! Later, on the same ride, the plastic chain guard breaks off. Weird bike day; the bike appears to be okay now (no it's not)...8-24-10; bearings fell out of the back bike wheel. A new wheel costs $35, which is exactly what I will get from my plasma donation that day. My new plasma bike wheel (black) is gorgeous...Later on 8-24, I went to host a poker tournament, and won $50 in it.

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: On 8-21-10, on my 3rd game of it, at 8:12 pm I was crowned Ruler Of The Universe on the Attack From Mars pinball machine at McShane's; 47.0 billion total, new #2 score, and my 2nd crowning ever (May 2000, in Phoenix I was crowned with 32.8 billion)...8-28-10; to the Jackalope to play their Spiderman pinball; new personal best 610 mil., with new Battle Royale top score of 125 mil., and new Spider Sense top score of 13 mil...Also, I have been ripping up my PS2 Williams pinball games (101 mil on Funhouse, 147 mil on Whirlwind)...

Grammar: um, not this month.

New foods this month: We're doing some back-to-basics stuff here...More great veggie + bean-soak soup. Wow; and girlfriend was so impressed with the soup that she asked for more. Cool!..More soup...And then Jambalaya with crumbles and veggie meatballs (oops, they were NOT vegan)...More soup, with our own cabbage and basil.
As part of "cheapskating", our diets here will be dictated more by what we have in-house, what will expire soon, and what our garden grows. Also; by the loss-leaders of grocery sale guides.

This month of Blues Jamming: 8-5-10; I have officially nicknamed Brian Chevalier “The One Man Band”, and bought another CD from him. Set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri and Ra on guitars, Scotty B harp, JP keys, Axel drums (where’s Jimmy?). 2 was (wow) T-Mart bass, Morgan and Brian Chevalier on guitars, Mark the Harp, Axel drums again. 3 was Z-Bass, Kyle and Max on guitars, JP on keys, Brian Chevalier on drums, Janie on sax, and Terry on trumpet. 4 was T-Mart bass, Ri, Ra and Brian C on 3 guitars, JP on keys, Axel drums again, and Janie on sax. Amazing night...8-12-10; more outside. Set 1 was Z-Bass, Ra + Brian C on guitars + zydeco, Jimmy D drums. 2 was Russ on bass, Ra + Morgan on guitars, Mark the Harp, Axel drums, Val sang (Mustang Sally class project). 3 was Z-Bass, Brian C and Ri (late) on guitars, Mike on harp, Janie on sax, Jimmy D drums. Axel did Back to Memphis, Z did Teenage Pussy. I bought another CD from Brian C. "Voodoo Mountain Zydeco". Set 4 was Mike Tracey's; Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Janie sax, Jimmy D drums...8-19-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Jimmy D drums, JP on keys. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Brian C. + Jimmy B. on guitars, Mark the Harp, Lenny drums, JP in and out. James showed up late with his bongos. Val sang. 3 was Z-Bass, Max + George on guitars, Hank Shreve on harp, Axel drums, JP on keys, James in and out. (Teenage Pussy + Mustang Sally). 4 was Milo on bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Hank Shreve on harp, JP on keys, Jimmy D drums...8-26-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, Jimmy D drums (Z did Amberlee). 2 was LEGENDARY Z-Bass, Max L. + Brian C. on guitars(!), Mark the Harp, JP, and Axel drums (Stop. Pay attention; this set had 6 different "band-leaders"--that's all 6 musicians with microphones. LEGENDARY. Brian led 'Mess Around', Max led 'Pride + Joy' and 'Cherry Red', Axel led 'Mustang Sally' with Val). 3 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra, Janie on sax, Mike on keys, Jimmy D drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Max L. + Brian C. (again), Janie on sax, JP, Jimmy D drums (Z did 'Enter Sandman'). 3 times more musicians than customers, but it was fantastic; $80 in the tip jar!

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God is getting ready to go back to school.

What's different here than in college town: UGA was finally voted the #1 party school in the nation. This is news?..Eugene here has the largest per capita number of anarchists in the world...In Athens, some guy broke into an elementary school, but dropped his cell phone. Cops found the cell phone, and soon found him (the rare double; too stupid for elementary school, and too stupid for a cell phone)...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: On 8-2-10, 10 feet from our front door, there was a deer standing in our neighbor's yard. I stood and talked to him for a minute--it was very nice. Ain’t nothing like that in “Aridzona”...8-30-10; here in Weirdville, downtown even, we have a 28-square block underground electrical fire that has caused three manhole covers to explode so far. Cool, huh? Yeah, but I'm not going downtown...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): We steal basil nubs for our dinners sometimes...Cabbage coming home soon...A new flower, a Dahlia, shines near our Aster...1st cabbage came home on 8-17-10; I steamed it, and froze most of it...Not one, but TWO tiny watermelons are growing for us; very nice. My freak-watering pays off again!..Freak watering has now sprouted 6 baby cucumbers, as well...2nd cabbage came home on 8-26-10...The Dahlia is blooming like crazy...

Life with Static Girl: We are an odd pair. We don't do things like regular people as individuals, OR as a couple...She is no cheapskate, but she does practice "Money Step Aerobics" by walking or biking to work everyday. It's good for the planet, and great for her legs...She called me "efficient". I like the sound of that...She says that if I touch the toes on her left foot with my left foot that it gives her toe cramps. Bummer...When other girls get mad, they like to argue and be confrontational. When my Static Girlfriend gets mad, she closes herself off and wants to be left alone, completely. And she'd rather have me leave home than stay here and bug her while she's upset. Like, okay; other women--you can't get AWAY from them when they're pissed. My girl? You can't get NEAR her when she's grumpy...Food is fun with her. She cannot say what she'll want to eat in 2 hours from now, much less tomorrow. But I think she enjoys that I like to cook. She's pretty cool.

My FCP has this for me: She is fun on the phone! We still trade the occasional e-mail.

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: GM announces major investment ($500 million) in auto plant in Mexico...(national news) 7-yr. old Julie Murphy had her lemonade stand shut down at an art fair in Portland, because she didn’t have a permit...Former flight attendant Steven Slater; exit, stage left...Many people care about a mosque being built at ground zero--I do not...$26 billion in aid to states, so that teachers can stay employed...A new gel, Nexagon, could heal wounds 5 times faster (it blocks a protein that prolongs healing)..."Roger Clemens indicted on six counts" (So now, what's my Clemens rookie card worth?)...China surpasses Japan for the world's 2nd biggest economy...U. S. teens are smoking less, but texting more (that sucks)...550 million eggs are being recalled, all from 2 plants in Iowa...76 million people per year are sickened by food...15-18% of all dentists are alcoholics, hooked on pain pills, or both...70 applicants for every job now...Bedbugs are making a comeback...(silver lining) The number of babies born in 2009 was the lowest in a century...

A thought to take with you: Old people praise entrepreneurship, but they balk at network marketing. Then; these same old people praise social security and the stock market, but these are the 2 biggest "pyramid schemes" of all.

"If you're that hypersensitive about color and you don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race."--Dr. Laura

Band names: "Downstairs Sex", "Toe Cramps", "Private Pervert", "Argument With God",

Real Oregon t-shirts: "Hi. You'll do.", (with a large pot leaf) "Fuck You, I Have Glaucoma", (with a small pot leaf) "Plant Manager",


October 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: I'm back into my "Meditation for Dummies" book; stand back...And I'm starting 2 years of Men's Health magazine in October...9-19-10; in the "Ask Marilyn" of the Parade magazine was a cool brain puzzle with math logic (a variation of the Monty Hall problem ). The '4 envelopes' thing, where 1 envelope has money. You choose 1 of the 4 envelopes. With 2 of the remaining (unpicked and empty) envelopes removed, you MAY still have a 50% chance for money (Do you?). Do you keep your envelope, or trade it for the other one? Where is the winning percentage? THAT is the place where most people freak out and lose focus. This is a great logical braintease; I was initially wrong, too (you must stay in the bigger picture). And now I'd like to see Marilyn and her 228 IQ come over here and cook me some breakfast...It took MONTHS! But I signed up at the library to check out this 'original' cheapskate book "The Complete Tightwad Gazette" by Amy Dacyzyn (old copies of her newsletters were a big inspiration for Jeff Yeager). It's over 900 pages...Last day of September; I got 2 issues of Men's Health magazine in the mail!

Watching: Tons of new shows: "Nikita" on the CW has TONS of potential; I'm calling it "Dark Angel" potential (seriously; you read that correctly); but they'll screw it up...What is this "Outlaw" (with Jimmy Smits) thing going to be like? (still haven't watched either episode on DVR)..."Ma's Roadhouse" could have been much better..."Raising Hope" was a very funny pilot..."Lone Star" was pretty good...The Tosh.0 2nd season is over (booo), and that might be my favorite show on tv...I like to workout in front of the tv.

Class Projects: Warehouse 13, "Becoming Human" on NOVA, other NOVA's, House,

movies together: movies apart, actually. call them "Mutually exclusive movies!" She watched her "The Abyss" VHS on the tv downstairs while I watched my "Wag The Dog" DVD up here on my computer. We are a weird couple; especially on 'movie night'...

Shit I watch alone: "World's Dumbest..." on Tru tv is hilarious!..F/X reran the first ever episode of "Rescue Me" from 2004; that is 1 of the 10-best hours of television, ever! Do you understand the compliment I just paid? Of the 10 best hours of television, ever, THAT is one of them. Fuck you..."House", "Bones" and "Sunny" are back on again...

Comedians: Bill Burr "Why Do I Do This?" (2008),

Crappy cable movies: "Good Luck Chuck", 2008's "Prom Night",

Play it Again's: "Broken Arrow",

Watching and Hearing: Interpol on Jimmy Kimmel...Real Cake in a new music service commercial; fake Human League in a cellphone commercial...TV, and live? ESPN's gameday will be broadcasting from the new Home Depot in town; that's maybe, 1/4 mile away from us. Should I go yell "Play at your own risk, BABY!" on tv? Hmmm.

Hearing: Filter "The Trouble With Angels", Karen Lovely "Still The Rain", Crystal Method "Drive" + "Divided By Night", Muse' "Black Holes and Revelations", Angels & Airwaves "I-Empire", Tool "Aenima" (at least once a week), Garbage "Bleed Like Me", Zydeblue "Kick Up Some Heat", Dirt Merchants "Scarified", no no. Never mind. I can't begin to list all the CD's I've been playing. But I missed 1 last month; (it took an hour to find it) the Maids of Gravity full length (as if you cared).

New on the radio; Disturbed, Godsmack, (now released) Robert Plant, Heart, Weezer, (Athens band) Of Montreal, wow...I heard new Cake!..I want, I want, I want new Anberlin and new Rise Against, hmmm...New Soundgarden, Ben Folds, shit, it's like 1995 all over again.

Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: The new Anberlin CD "Dark is the Way, Light is a Place" was on sale for 9$, so I got it (The new Rise Against is 17$, so it waits).

Out and About: Dave Matthews at Staples, Jethro Tull and Supertramp at the Go Healthy Cafe, Manfred Mann and Smashmouth at Goodwill, Goo Goo Dolls at Fred Meyer,

Singing: (sobriety breeds scatterbrain) "Jimmy Olsen's Blues"--Spin Doctors, "Another Heart Calls"--All American Rejects, "Possum Kingdom"--Toadies, "Shoegazer"--Crumb, "Super Bon Bon"--Soul Coughing, "Free Ride"--Edgar Winter, "Oh Well"--Fleetwood Mac, (whistling) "Does It Really Happen"--Yes, "Stranglehold" + "Free For All"--Ted Nugent, 3 Rod Stewart songs, 4 Cars songs, 4 Rush songs, 6 NIN songs, 7 ELO songs; look, my mostly sober brain has now gone off of the deep end. I am singing and mixing every song I know any words to at this point. My apologies to the extreme crossovers. An example? Really? You want an example? Okay; new Anberlin mixes well into The Cure AND The Who, but YOUR sissy little brain could not have pulled that off. Ha!

What I want today: I want a used backpack, for bike-riding; but my hemp portfolio will work okay for now...(I already want, and) I'm also going to need a new winter coat at some point...I want some 10-lb. hex weights to do home exercises...I want to know; when was smoking on airlines prohibited--what year? ("In 1988 Congress prohibited smoking on domestic commercial airline flights.")...Lyndsy Fonseca, of "Nikita", is also Ted's daughter on "How I met Your Mother". She's beautiful in simplicity, much like my girlfriend, my FCP, and my ex-girlfriend. I like that...While we're on tv women; actress Julie Bowen, on Modern Family. I don't use the term MILF often, but she is one...I want to be an "S-Corporation". They are small businesses that pay ZERO taxes, and it's apparently really easy to declare yourself as one. So; call me "S-Corp"!

New stuff this month or so: Milla Jojovich as Alice one more time; "Resident Evil: Afterlife"...UGA is a top-25 ranked team (for a week); 7 SEC teams start in the top 25 this year, and Alabama should not lose a game. The SEC still has 5 teams in the top 15; cool...Our local 30 bus to downtown has been eliminated. But that's okay because I can ride my bike to the library...Heat wave; mid-80's here, and 113 in California, at the END of September. Huh?..Last day of September; the 2011 Golden Tee game is at my bar. Yay.

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Found the 10-lb. weights I wanted, used, at Goodwill. This was a shopping experience straight from The Ultimate Cheapskate, with the mandatory waiting period of a week (like a Brady Bill), and checking at least 3 different places for the item. And this is a great example, because it involves exercise equipment. I checked at the closest store, Fred Meyer, and they had the weights at 18$ apiece. Then I checked Wal-Mart, where the weights were 16$ apiece. Then I checked my favorite place, Big 5 Sporting Goods, and they had them for 15.95 apiece. By sheer luck, the EXACT weights I wanted were at Goodwill, for 4$ apiece. And with 2 squirts of hand-sanitizer applied (obviously), I declare that they are as good as new. There will be no "buyer's remorse" here.

Occupational Hazards: Not yet.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: My new toothpaste is Tom's Wicked Fresh peppermint; it's like peppermint hot sauce!..9-3-10; my initial meeting and piss test for Diversion classes. I start regular classes next week. Which also means that I went sober on 9-4-10...9-7-10; usually I have a choice between the 2nd and 3rd belt loops. Today I did not--it was 3rd loop only. I am getting smaller (yay); 204 lbs today, fully dressed (wow). The secret to weight loss is those dark, seedless grapes (you heard it here first), and to not eat big meals at night...Daily walks AND bike rides (weather permitting), 6-exercise 'Cliff Notes' workouts 3 times per week...Sometimes people will ask me; 'Dude, is that blood on your shirt?' And I say; 'No; hot sauce'...First sober poker tournament on 9-5-10; boring. 2nd sober poker tourney on 9-7-10 (the final Tuesday poker game) went better, $ (for me). $20 of those poker winnings is "invested" for 20 issues of Men's Health magazine...I have established a 'mandatory waiting period' on all new purchases (Cheapskates call it a 'Brady Bill'). Example: At Fred Meyer I found the 200 gram "Heavyweight" frisbees (13$). But before buying one, I (waited a week, and) checked with 3 other stores for price and availability. Nobody else has one. My new yellow frisbee is gorgeous!....I want to get my protein levels up a bit higher; will do research on the highest protein veggie foods, and energy bars...New boots! I (checked 5 other stores, and) waited for the Coleman "Ratchet"'s to go on sale at Big 5 Sports; 30$ (I LOVE Big 5 Sports!)...9-23-10; 201 lbs...My e-mail got hacked on 9-24 (or possibly also before that), and sent out a porny e-mail to all in my address book. Bummer...EVERYDAY, since 9-24, I have been walking with the 6-lb. leg weights, while triple-pumping the new 10-lb. hex weights. It's a monster workout!..201 lbs. again on 9-28-10, but my new boots weigh 2.2 lbs. apiece (hmmm). "Weight" for, wait for it...199.4, and that is fully dressed, with the new heavy boots on (195 without them). I am amazing...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: I've been experimenting with the LOTR pinball at Wetlands; the right flipper is dead, but I still got to level 4 in the advancing levels multiball--only 56 million total though...Back on top; I finally reclaimed Grand Champion on the beat-up Pirates pinball at my bar; ORB has 348 mil, UUC now has 368 mil...Poker player S has a Golden Tee handicap of 17, and he keeps beating me; so I guess HE is now the golf champion. I should be playing pinball anyway...Poker S has great advice and coaching on Golden Tee; I am impressed with how well he has taken to it. And then I beat him 2wice in a row on 9-26-10. Ha!..

Grammar: "then" and "than". 3 different weight-loss articles (2 on yahoo), RIGHT NOW, have statements like (well shit, here's one of them--check the 2nd bullet point for:) The food journal will help you realize when higher calorie foods are being included more frequently THEN they should. Don't get me wrong--I appreciate the good information and insights, but their wording is remedial. Remember; spell-check does not compare the context/correctness. You still have to "check" your work, Goofus. Wait; no, okay I have it: If you checked your work, THEN you would know; rather THAN having to be corrected by me--Goofus.

New foods this month: Cheapskate Soup! 4 days in a row, a bit different every day, with cabbage and basil from our garden, corn from Static Girl's work, carrots from Boo's stash, avocados, sweet potatos, yeah. And on the 5th day, Friday, it became goop. I did good. Damn I'm hungry...More soup; cooked 2wice. She says it has too much pepper; awww...As said above; cool and dark seedless grapes (yum)...Soup over some brown rice and half an avocado is great!..More Cheapskate soup, with cabbage, tomatoes, and basil from our garden...I am making my excellent soup on the stove now...

This month of Blues Jamming: 9-2-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, and Axel drums. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Max L + Brian C. on guitars for 2 songs (then Brian had to bow out--amp problems), Mark the Harp, Horn Boy Jeff on trumpet, Jimmy D drums. 3 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Horn Boy Jeff, JP, and Lenny drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Max L + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy D drums (Horn Boy in and out)...9-9-10, back inside. set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, Jimmy D drums. 2 was T-Mart bass, Brian C + Morgan on guitars, Mark the Harp, Janie on sax, Axel drums (Axel led Mustang Sally w/Val). 3 was Z-Bass, Ra + Ro on guitars, Brian C on harp (!), Mike on keys, Paul on drums. 4 was T-Mart bass, Ra + Ro + Brian C on 3 guitars, Janie sax, JP, Lenny drums...Bonus Jam! Saturday, 9-11-10 (yes), Heavy Chevy at the Eldorado. Brian Chevalier (guitars, lead vocals), Janie Smith (sax), Julian B. (drums), and Zane Heifner on bass. The bar's music guy Ray played harp in sets 2 and 3. Tons of fun! Brian signed a poster for me, and gave me a "Zydeblue" disc...9-16-10 inside again. set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy D/Clark (Valley Boys) drums. 2 was T-Mart bass, Ra + Ro on guitars, JP, Mark the Harp, Gaylee Russell sang. 3 was Rai bass, Ri + Kyle on guitars, JP, Axel drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Ra + Ro on guitars, Mike on keyboards, Lenny drums, Gaylee Russell sang (there were 6 total drummers in the bar)...9-23-10; Z-Bass Ra on 1 guitar, JP, and Jimmy D drums. Jim Torres helped with guitar/singing. 2 was Rai on his stand-up bass, Ro + Kyle on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP, Lenny drums. 3 was T-Mart on bass, Ra + Ro on guitars, Mike on keys and harp, Jimmy D drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP in and out, Jimmy D drums. I got sick after the 3rd set; shit happens...9-30-10; outside? Wow. Set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, Jimmy D drums. Jeff did trumpet all over the bar, Axel sang "Almost", Val sang "Change". 2 was T-Mart on bass, Max + Ra on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP, Axel drums, Jeff trumpets all over the bar. Axel did "Mustang Sally". set 3 was Rai on the stnd-up bass, Max + Kyle on guitars, JP, and Golf Shoes drums. 4 was T-Mart, Ri + Ra on guitars, JP, Jimmy D drums. Very nice.

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God:

What's different here than in college town: Last month, actually. I drove past 10 yard sales between here and the bar; 10! I don't even like yard sales, but I am intrigued...(near here) A Vancouver, WA woman (28 yr. old Bethany Storro) who falsely claimed a stranger threw acid in her face, actually DID THIS TO HERSELF! And she will appear in court to face three charges...Oregon is up to #4 in the AP rankings; go Ducks!..Ever seen a construction site sign misspelled? For a Friday and Saturday, 9-23 and 9-24, I think, one up here said "Have a Nice Weekand" (it was fixed by Sunday)...

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Lane County, OR is the 2nd biggest county of meth use in the U. S. (Phoenix is merely the #3 city overall)...We have great blue herons here; they are the largest species of heron in North America. Absolutely gorgeous birds...In Portland, a TriMet bus driver (Lahcen Qouchbane) was fired for reading a Kindle while driving on the freeway. It's the SECOND time this guy's been fired by TriMet in 4 years. Wow...Scarily similar; both states had a father kill his 2 children, and then kill himself, as part of divorce stress. Aren't women cute?..

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): the watermelon plant died, but we got the baseball-sized watermelon home on 9-3-10...Our garden cucmbers taste terrific!..

Life with Static Girl: My girlfriend says she would like to see me under 200 lbs. again. I will do this for her...My idea; and she liked it! We rode our bikes to the Go Healthy Cafe, got food, and brought it home. Very nice!..Boo the guinea pig has loved living downstairs for the Summer. She will need to come back upstairs sometime in October. I have once again offered to trade rooms with Static Girl...She hates the spicy food I make. Like a shark sensing blood, she can sense a speck of pepper out of a vat of otherwise great soup. She says it burns her mouth. It's like 'the princess and the pea'...She crocheted me a gorgeous blue scarf, finished it, and presented it to me on 9-29-10. I will put the scarf spec sheet up on my wall (pictures to follow)...As said earlier, MY goal was to get under 200 lbs. in September. I got WAY under 200 lbs., baby!..She made it clear to me that she is my "boss". I already knew this; and in response I would say that I REALLY like this job!

My FCP has this for me: She is always at least 2 people to me; sometimes more.

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Burn the Quran--who gives a shit? Let the "Qurans" burn our flags and bibles...The head of General Motors makes $9 million per year (from our bailout cash)...Cuba is cutting 500,000 government jobs...Christine O'Donnell? Is that her name? She is hilarious...Year's tally of U.S. bank failures reaches 124...FedEx 1Q profit doubles; will cut 1,700 jobs...Drug-resistant ‘superbugs’ hit 35 states, spread worldwide...Experts say that the recession ended in June of 2009. Yes. And they say this with straight faces, and everything...

A thought to take with you: 'If Muslims shouldn’t build a mosque near ground zero, then Catholics shouldn’t build a church near a playground.--The Daily Show

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so!"--Mark Twain

"Fame is fleeting, but obscurity just drags on and on."--the Frank and Ernest comic strip

Oregon t-shirt: (on a pretty blonde lady) "I tried being good, but I got bored."

Band names: Planticipation,
"Beers + Bongs" + "Shelf Cheese" (Static Girl), "Armpits And Unwashed Ass" (poker MK),


November 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: 700 pages into the Tightwad Gazette now...I'd like to get the "Your Best Body at 40+" book by Men's Health, but I ain't payin' no $32 + shipping for it. Sorry...Worthy of a few minutes of your time; go download the free PDF "Rising Above the Gathering Storm Revisited: Rapidly Approaching Category 5". This is a September 2010 study of the true American "jobs" situation, and actual proof that the main-stream media would rather "fluff" you than deliver real news like this...

Watching: I want to see "Inside Job", the documentary about our failed banking system...

Class Projects: NOVA, Nature, Art Beat (all 3 are Oregon Public Broadcasting stuff), House, Bones, and we'll be checking out some Science Channel in November...

movies together: "Poltergeist" on Halloween

Shit I watch alone: "Todd Margaret" on IFC is great, Nick Swardson's "Pretend Time" is okay, The live "30 Rock" was awesome!, "Conspiracy Theory" with Jesse Ventura is back!,

Comedians: Bill Burr "Let It Go" + 2005's 'One Night Stand', Dave Attell "Captain Miserable", Sebastian Maniscalco live, Nick Swardson "Seriously, Who Farted?" 2009, Josh Sneed, Bo Burnham "Words Words Words” (brilliant), Adam Ferrara "Funny As Hell", Orny Adams "Takes The Third", and a replay of Patton Oswalt's breakout show from 2003,

Crappy cable movies: "Drive Thru", "Tormented",

Play it Again's: "The Bourne Identity", "Jackass 2", "Hard Candy", "Remo Williams", "The Last Seduction", "Madman", 2007's "The Hills Have eyes 2",

Watching and Hearing: Did you see the cartoon PTI on Southpark?..Meatloaf on Leno was good, also Pat Benatar/Nick Giraldo were excellent on Private Sessions, Kings of Leon on SNL, Jimmy Eat World on Leno,

Hearing: I have been forgetting this for YEARS here! For kitchen activities in Oregon, (the disc that lives in the CD player there) I listen to the Garbage "Bleed Like Me" CD at least 10 times per month, every month. I have decided that it is 2nd only to "2.0" as far as great Garbage discs. Perhaps I will explain in another commentary someday...God Lives Underwater "Empty", Knapsack "Day Three of My New Life", Tool "Aenima" (over and over), Rise Against "Appeal to Reason", "All Ages" + "Holiday Sampler"--Bad Religion, 4 Filter discs, 3 Anberlin CD's, ...

New on the radio; more 30 Seconds to Mars stuff--I need to learn about them,

Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: not shit

Out and About: Journey, Credence and U2 on the Goodwill radio network...the Cars at Fred Meyer...Gordon Lightfoot at Cash King...

Singing: Everything; even shit that I don't know. Odd ones include "Tire Swing"--Jimmy Buffet, "Straight Up"--Paula Abdul, "Push It"--Salt + Peppa, "American Jesus", "Punk Rock Song" + "Stranger Than Fiction"--Bad Religion,

What I want today: Lots! 4 different kinds of topsy turvy vegetable growers--starting with the tomato/herb combo 1st, and then the hot pepper planter 2nd; but I want them ALL! (Conceptually, I want home-grown food with the least amount of work possible--because I'm smart, and cheap. Which leads to:)...Have you seen/I also want the Flambeau 6510TG-DS Compact Upside-Down Patio Garden ; because it works, and it looks cool, too...I don't NEED it (so much), but I definitely WANT the $30 "T-Core" abs trainer "as seen on tv"...Some kid in Tennessee almost died from eating Blair's Mega Death Sauce (hot sauce); yeah, seriously--there's a lawsuit and everything...So...I'm going to need TWO bottles of that stuff. One bottle for ME to enjoy, and the other bottle to pour on children who annoy me!..From Boulder Colorado, "Dixie Elixirs" . These are flavored marijuana sodas; brilliant and efficient medicine vehicles, but you need a medical marijuana card to get them. Boo. I may sign up to be a distributor!..

New stuff this month or so: 10-4-10; where did the F/X channel go on Dish Network? This ain't funny; I'm going to raise hell...Okay; I raised hell, and got another discount. Go me!..This new bedbug crisis amuses me. "Bedbugs" are invisible to the naked eye, and they eat the skin that falls off of your body naturally during sleep. Bedbugs are not a bad thing, okay? These new things that they are CALLING bedbugs, that are the size of apple seeds, are something else (scabes on steroids?); something else BAD! Burn your bed if you get them!..Pinball tournaments start back up in town on 10-24-10. I won't make the competition (my poker Sundays), but I'll go down later and meet the players...The Sony "Walkman" died on 10-26-10. In its honor, I may make that my Halloween costume. I'll dig out my old Walkman for that...On 10-26, DJ Barkeep told me that Bad Religion plays here in town on November 12th. I am conflicted. Ha. I am "Infected"...10-30; Dish Network got the F/X channel back; plus, a "Science Channel" and "Cooking Channel" preview; wooo...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Pickles and toothbrushes at Dollar Tree, candles and incense at Cash King,

Occupational Hazards: I'd like to guest-host the Sunday radio show "Out Of Order"; that 'Jed the Fish' guy is really good--Is he that KROQ DJ? Yep; so he's a sellout. Never mind...And while we're guest-hosting, let me do the background speak for that tv show "Whacked-Out Sports"...I could work, maybe...

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: Pretty big news for me; I have not had heartburn in over a month. Yay me!..10-5-10; 196 lbs, fully dressed. Wooo; and we bumped our leg weights up from 6 to 8 lb.s apiece for our daily walks...10-7-010; STILL 196 lbs. Boo...Since getting the hand weights on 9-24-10, I have walked with leg weights on, while triple-pumping the hand weights, everyday. This continues through 10-12-10 (ended on 10-21)...Decorations! On the desk unit, my 2005 Danica Patrick magazine picture has been replaced by a 2010 Lyndsy Fonseca magazine picture (nice)...10-10-10; my 2nd home haircut--it's getting easier to create new bald spots!..My weight-loss seems to have a semi-permanent plateau of 195 lbs; I guess that's okay...I found, and ripped out, a gray pubic hair. Yuck...10-14; my Tuesday night poker games are back!..In the 14 months since 9-6-10, I still have not driven the 3000 miles for an oil change...I found my sugarless Bubble Yum at Target; they also have 25 lb. hand weights that are gorgeous!..10-21, at Blues Jam, I conducted a research project on myself. As of 10-22 I am discontinuing all thoughts of partying for at least 2 weeks...10-26; my blood pressure was too low to donate plasma--first time ever!..10-28; blood pressure is fine again (yay), and I took $20 of plasma to the Salvation Army store and got a NEW green Timberland winter coat. Cool...Later that night, after Blues Jam, I got pulled over by the cops again; no big deal (and no ticket)...10-30-10; I tore the apartment up, cleaned/dusted/moved shit around--looking for my 1982 Sony Walkman, but could not find it. Oh well...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: My handicap is back up to +16 on Golden Tee (and then back down to +15); in my first 3 games of the 2011 courses, I have only 1 bogey; final scores of -14, -16, and -14. Not too shabby...The 'Pirates' pinball at my bar died on 10-10-10. Stay tuned to see if it's fixed or replaced...10-28; It's been worked on, but it it still ain't "fixed" (broken again on Halloween)...I am ON the pinballers e-mail list for Eugene, OR; and am helping them compile their index of which pinball machines are at which bars (Pretty fuckin' cool, huh?). I'm going to go meet them on 10-24; they're having a pinball contast that I will be too late for, but they will hang around to meet me. (Yeah; I met the guys, and they are very cool. They play tons of pinball in different towns and stuff. The 2 main guys are both better than me, as well. I can learn from them.)...

Grammar: I find type-o's, misspellings, and bad grammar--daily, in everything. It makes me want to kill.

New foods this month: Fried zucchini with oil and salt is excellent!..TVP is textured vegetable protein, and I'm going to do some Overnight Guy cooking experimentation. Stay tuned...For me alone; these Met-Rx Big 100 Colossal meal bars have 32 grams of protein...I will be trying a surprise recipe on Sat. 10-9-10, snicker...Yes! I made my own pizza dough at home! It was a great vegan pizza, and my girlfriend loved it (she even asked for seconds)! Go me...Crockery! AND; While searching for the pan to make pizza on, I found the missing large vat cooker/steamer that I had long forgotten. We'll be having tons of soup and pizza over Winter...(10-11-10) A monster vat of great veggie soup...(10-15) More veggie soup; with a heavy dose of TVP, and it's excellent!..10-16-10; Pizza #2, bigger, and with more on it; yum! Girlfriend asked for THIRDS of it this time!..Trying to replace coffee; Hot Cherry Juice! (Doesn’t it just sound dirty as hell?) Yum!..While doing fitness research I learned of the complete protein between corn and beans. Combine that with the other rice/beans protein, and those are our new 3-way house rice-pots...MY pizzas. I had a vision of making Friday night pizza for my girl; then another vision of creating avocado pizza sauce to hold the olives down, then a third vision of using the rest of the canned olive juice as the "lubricant" for the avocado sauce. Wow. It became, perhaps, the best pizza I've ever tasted--and I made it myself, from scratch! Go me!..Ooo, haven't tried them yet, but I will get some of these "Chez" gourmet patties; they're more veggie burger things, and they're made in Oregon...

This month of Blues Jamming: 10-7-10; inside. Set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Wayne on harp (1st half), JP on keys, Jimmy D drums all 4 sets. 2 was Russ on bass, Brian C + Dave P. on guitars, Janie on sax, Mark the Harp, Jimmy D drums. Val sang. 3 was Z-Bass, Ro + Ra on guitars, Mike on keys, Jimmy D drums. 4 was Z-Bass, Max + Ri on guitars, Janie on sax, JP, Jimmy D drums. J C Rico sang...10-14-10; I took the night off. I wasn't feeling like a good Blues Jam mascot; and it's not like I get paid to be there. I'm not supposed to be having fun anyway; I may skip next week, too...10-21-10; short Blues Jam after the Ducks game on tv; set 1 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Mark the Harp, JP on keys, Jimmy D drums. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Max + Ra on guitars, Scotty B on harp, Lenny drums. 3 was Rai on stand-up bass, Kyle on guitar, JP, and Golfshoes drums...10-28-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Brian Chevalier alone on guitar, Scotty B on harp, JP, Axel drums. Set 2 was Russ W. on bass, Jimmy B + Ri on guitars, Mark the Harp, Jimmy D drums. Axel + Val sang, JP ran in and out. Set 3 was T-Mart, Brian C. + Ri on guitars, JP, Golfshoes drums. Scotty B jumped in, and they all pulled off "Honky Tonk Woman" well! Set 4 was Gary T. (from Portland) on bass, Brian + Ri on guitars, JP, JImmy D drums. After the set, for the final song of the night, Z-Bass got up and sang "Teenage Pussy" (his Halloween wish).

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God:

What's different here than in college town: Eugene, OR has the highest bike commute rate in the nation for a town of its size or larger (US Census), at 11% overall (Portland is at 6%.)...In GA, you can take your gun into a bar now...Oregon is up to #2 in the BCS rankings now. And then...wait for it...the new BCS #1 as of Halloween!

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: There is NO #6 styrofoam recycling here; booo...Oregon takes 2nd place (behind California) in the "hopelessness index" (total % of unemployed and under-employed people)...Oregon exports more products to China than any other export destination...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): Our stiff celery boils soft, and goes great with my specialty soups...It is harvest time; maybe we can get some surplus from our neighbors...We're digging up the ground, and then we'll cover it with boxes for the Winter...

Life with Static Girl: She brought home a wounded computer printer from her job; she can fix it! (Maybe I will get it?)!..After making pizza for her on a Friday night, I made pizza AGAIN on Saturday night. (She left me a note thanking me for all the weekend pizza.)...With my influence, Static Girl is learning to like coffee. But she won't drink it hot--she drinks it at just above room temperature. I say that coffee should scald both your lips AND tongue, but we can agree to disagree on this one...How cool is she in the bathtub we share? Allow me to explain; I am a GUY! I have one bottle of cheap shampoo, and I use whatever soap is in there. But...She does the same; one bottle of shampoo, and it's HER glycerine soap that we share. That's it! (there is 1 extra bottle of some body wash stuff in there, but neither of us has touched it in months) Our bathtub is streamlined! There are NO 20 extra bottles of crazy French shit, and mystery moisturizers, like there are in EVERY other female's bathroom. MY girlfriend even showers like a guy; quick wash, quick rinse, quick wipe, and she's done! She showers quicker than I do! MY girlfriend is the best!..

My FCP has this for me: I sent her a great birthday card for her big month...She has new "stuff" in her life that is very inspirational. Yay!..

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: California Governor Schwarzenegger Signs Marijuana Decriminalization Bill (the maximum penalty is a $100 fine)...2,840 Millionaires Claimed Jobless Benefits in 2008 (According to IRS data, 2,840 households reporting at least $1 million in income on their tax returns that year also collected a total of $18.6 million in jobless aid.) military is eliminating fossil fuels because of their dangerous transport (duh)...Wall Street bankers to pocket record-breaking $144 BILLION just two years on from financial crisis (MSNBC)...(In the U. S.) In 2009, 72 percent of African American babies, and 51 percent of Hispanic, were born out-of-wedlock...In the month of August alone, the U.S. trade deficit with China was over 28 billion dollars..."College enrollment rising fast". Okay; why?...The average American K-12 student spends four hours a day in front of a TV...

A thought to take with you: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”--Albert Einstein

"I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become."~~Carl Jung

"If you never chase what you want, you'll never get it. If you never ask, then the answer is always no. If you never step forward, you'll always be in the same place."--I found it on Facebook; no idea who said it.

“I am a most unhappy man. I have unwittingly ruined my country. A great industrial nation is now controlled by its system of credit. We are no longer a government by free opinion, no longer a government by conviction and the vote of the majority, but a government by the opinion and duress of a small group of dominant men.”--Woodrow Wilson, 1919, six years after he signed the Federal Reserve Act

Band names: "Hungover Workout", "Gray Pubic Hair", "Scabes on Steroids" or "Mutant Scabes",
"Retarded Mold"--Static Girl, "Wall of Meat"--poker MK, "Make Total Destroy"--an anarchist on the Daily Show,
Real Portland band "Caravan Gogh",


December 2010

(...last month we were...)

Reading: I read a book from the library: "Hardest Times--The Trauma Of Long-Term Unemployment" by Thomas J. Cottle...Go read the short version of how American money works here; 'Econ 101' (it's brilliant)...And I have the Alcoholics Anonymous "Big Book", 4th edition. I'm on chapter 5...And I am enjoying my subscription to Men's Health magazine!..

Watching: PTI is 2000 shows old now; wow..."It Only Hurts When I Laugh" and "Bait Car" are back!..The Soup is 300 episodes old on 12-2-10. Hell; I remember "Talk Soup" with Greg Kinnear back in '93 when I first got on the radio...

Class Projects: NOVA, Nature, Bones, House, "Mutant Bees" from the Science Channel, "Great Migrations" on the NATGEO Channel...

movies together: "Ice Age; Dawn of the Dinosaurs", Star Trek "Nemesis",

Shit I watch alone: "Marijuana: A Chronic History" on the History channel..."Fixing the Future" on OPB was excellent..."Cougar Town" rocks!..Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura is excellent...Scrubs #25, with Colin Hay (nice),

Comedians: Jimmy Shubert, Sam Kinison "Back From Hell", Aaron Karo "The Rest Is History", Comics Anonymous, Joey Kola (told me to support my local Comedy Club), more Steve Byrne,

Crappy cable movies: "Halloween: Resurrection", "Death Proof", "Planet Terror", "Couple's Retreat", "Brick", "Mumford", "Waitress", "The Break-Up", "Management",

Play it Again's: 1988's "They Live", 1999's "Man On The Moon", 1983's "Blame It On Rio", 1984's "Friday The 13th Final Chapter", "Bully", 1989's "Naked Gun", and 1991's "Naked Gun 2 + 1/2; The Smell Of Fear" (RIP Leslie Nielsen)...

Watching and Hearing: I was out in public, and saw some of this "Avatar" movie. It was a fucking joke--like an unbelievably bad Pixar kids' movie. Seriously. To you; maybe, what? Do those skinny, computer-generated blue lizards look like the future of entertainment? For a cartoon (because that's what Avatar is), perhaps it may have a distant netherworldly feel to the easily entertained (Like a living Boris Vallejo painting?). But it's just CG animation, people, don't flood your underwear...On MNFootball, while they were doing the statistic on Hines Ward's consecutive games with a reception, the soft background music (for this UGA graduate) was "Private Idaho"--very classy...Arcade Fire on SNL was okay, but they did NOT play "Ready to Start", so Arcade Fire is FIRED!..Jon Bon Jovi + Ritchie Sambora on Private Sessions (Next week is Heart!)...Okay; the Heart was actually from 2007, but still very good!..In the Patriots game on Thanksgiving, they used A + A's "Everything's Magic" in THREE different promos and commercial throws. Did they sell most of their other CD's for drinking money, like I did?..Filter performed on Action Sports (last year?)...Elvis Costello on Jimmy Fallon...

Hearing: Evanescence "Fallen", both Crumb CD's, 4 Muse CD's, "Sink" and "Glyph" by Floater, "Fashion Nugget" and "Motorcade of Generosity" by Cake (Did I sell ALL my other Cake CD's?). Hmmm; I am going on a Cake and Rage run; Bill Hicks would be proud..."The Battle of Los Angeles" is nice ("Sleep Now in the Fire" might be my favorite Rage tune)...

New on the radio; New Volbeat comes out November 13th? It's only a digital release; what does that mean?..Also; new Elvis Costello, Buddy Guy, and there's a new Tom Petty song on public radio, new My Chemical Romance, too...The CDWorld sign says that there is new Smashing Pumpkins (my girlfriend saw the sign, too); I will be doing some follow-up on that, baby!..

Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: How cool is this sale? After Oregon beat Washington by 37 points, everything at CDWorld is now 37% off! I may have to get something...

Out and About: Post-Halloween silence at Dollar Tree, Sheryl Crow and Spin Doctors at Fred Meyer, obscure Bob Seger and ZZ Top at the Go Healthy Cafe,

Singing: "Let It Ride"--BTO, "Ready to Go"--Republica, "Stranger Than Fiction"--Bad Religion (2 months in a row), "Long Forgotten Sons"--Rise Against,

What I want today: Cake! I have a few Cake CD's, I even have a 1996 radio promo of "Fashion Nugget", and the maxi-single of "Jolene" (Stolen blatantly from Bulldog 103.7; sorry Joe--yes, it was me. You KNEW it was me, and you were right all along.) But now I want ALL of the Cake CD's back, dammit, even the ones I have sold in the past for drinking money. Cake is a band that I can listen to everyday; lead and backing vocals, guitars, horns, and funky lyrics. Go Cake. The new Cake is also pretty good--I think I've heard 2 songs so far...Cake and Rage, baby! I have all the Rage Against The Machine CD's.

New stuff this month or so: Went looking for a sports card price guide, or a Tuff Stuff, and the only Beckett's available were for football cards. Football cards are all that's left? Really?..Trips to Mars? Those should be easier to fake than that moon-landing crap--we've got CG Avatar-mination and REALLY stupid masses now!..Countdown's got 'worst persons' back; yay...11-20, we might get snow! Crap; we didn't even get cold...11-21, here's the snow, baby!..A new "Tron" movie, and a new Yogi Bear movie are coming...

This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): More pickles, and Pita chips at Dollar Tree;

Occupational Hazards: Tom Gottlieb! He's the announcer guy on "Whacked Out Sports". I like the way he talks. I also want to fill in for him one week...DJ "Jed the Fish" ('I am not a sellout! What's a sellout?') is far too busy to return my e-mails.

Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: While riding my bike on 11-4 I caught a bug with my left eye; it was a mess of blood and black shit!..Oil change on 11-6, finally...11-6; I'm going to stop masturbating for awhile, and see if that helps my creativity...11-9-10; my first AA meeting went okay, moved down to the FOURTH belt loop of my skinny belt (nice), weighed 193.8 fully dressed on a digital scale (wow), and played great pinball...11-11-10; urinalysis to determine if I am really clean, or just a big talker. Stay tuned...Back to Burger King on 11-12; 2 cheeseburgers had a horrible after-effect on me, with heartburn and an unhappy tummy. I may be done with cheap burgers...11-14; I won $60 at my own poker game; go me!..Cleaning out cabinets/spaces, and making better use of them. We will be using my Magic Bullet airtight savers as tupperware, because I'm a fucking genius...11-16; 2nd AA meeting. Some people come to AA meetings hungover; can you beleieve that shit?..11-18; urinalysis results came back CLEAN! I have no weed, no drugs, and no alcohol in my system. Far out, man...Million $ idea; caffeinated hot sauce! This shit is too easy...11-19-10, bought my first 'rain suit' to ride my bike in the rain...Got some new $7 exercise shorts at St. Vincent de Paul; yay me...11-20; my personal experiment of 2 weeks with NO masturbation is over! I didn't write/read/study any extra anything; shit! My conclusion: masturbation is GOOD, and NECESSARY! My advice: Keep 'in touch' with yourself...My new soccer girlfriend is U S. star Alex Morgan--just so you all know (she looks a little like Static Girl)...I bought new house sweat pants, from Bi-Mart on 11-30. Dark blue and soft...I went to 4 straight AA meetings in November; on the 9th, 16th, 23rd, and 30th...I haven't had any Mountian Dew since August. Me; Dew-less for 3 months. Wow...

Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: GT handicap is back down to +13 (boo). 11-9, on the beat-up Pirates pinball at my bar I scored 639 million (My best there so far; ORB--who has never scored 400 million before--claims that his 646 million is legit, so he's Grand Champion for now))...My current lifetime GT card score is -11.61, which is okay, but not great...It took until 11-21-10 for me to score 852 million on Pirates pinball. I am, again, Grand Champion--thank you. Just over 2 hours of nudging, pushing, sliding and fighting a warped pinball machine (Sunday night) makes my arms hurt more than any full workout (still sore--4 days later). Ow...5 days later, on Friday, I went to play Shrek pinball at a pizza place. It's just Family Guy pinball that's green! 52 million, new #3 score, but my arms still hurt from Sunday. I could only play 3 games of Shrek! Ow...9 days later, on 11-30, my arms STILL hurt from killing 'Pirates' pinball. Ligament damage? Stress fractures? Bone cancer? Osteoporosis? Owww. And me; with NO pain pills, which is good, because I couldn't take 'em anyway. But this shit needs to end soon, so's I can play some December pinball...Ooo; maybe I'll KEEP masturbating, but STOP playing pinball for a couple of weeks--and see if THAT helps my creativity. Hmmm...

Grammar: Do you people even look at the words you spell so poorly, or do you just type and hit 'send'? Morons...

New foods this month: 11-6-10; officially the BEST pizza I've ever tasted, and I made it myself!..Nachos with TVP as fake meat are good enough...11-17; at 3 pm I decided to make pizza for dinner (at 4 pm). This was a rushed job; I called it 'Spontaneous Pizza'. And it was great!..Okay; I have a new "drug problem" with pizza. I can't stop thinking about it. I now have Pizza Fridays, which also led to double pizza weekends. I haven't even done a bean soak in weeks. Make pizza one day, then eat leftovers the next day. Hi. My name's WC, and I'm a Pizzaholic. But, but, but you should try this olive juice/avocado paste I invented. It's avocado pudding. It's what my Magic Bullet was meant to make. It's goooood. Help me...Shocker! We had pizza for Thanksgiving...New foods; the Valentina extra hot salsa in the big 34 oz. bottle...Watch for new work with the Magic Bullet in December; like, post-workout protein shakes (recipes in Men's Health magazine)...

This month of Blues Jamming: 11-4-10; set 1 was Z-Bass, Brian Chevalier + Ra on guitars, Art played harp for 2 songs, JP, Jimmy D drums; Val + Axel sang. 2 was T-Mart on bass, Ra + Ro on guitars, Mark the Harp, Cheeseburger Clark drums. 3 was Z-Bass, Ri + Ra on guitars, Golfshoes drums, Val sang. 4; Z-Bass, and, who knows? I can't read my own writing again--you should see this scribbly-assed shit...11-11; set 1 was Z-Bass, Brian C. + Ri guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP, Jimmy D drums. 2 was Rai-bass, Kyle + Ri guitars, Mark the Harp, Lenny drums, JP in and out. 3 was Gary on bass, Brian + Ri guitars, Golfshoes drums, JP in and out. 4 was Z-Bass, Brian C. + Ri guitars, JP, Axel drums...11-18-10, (Rai Wheat's last Blues Jam before he runs screaming to Texas) set 1 was Z-Bass, Ra + Brian C. on guitars, Scotty B on harp, JP on keys, Jimmy D drums (Axel sang 'Get a Haircut'). 2 was T-Mart on bass, (newbie) Jeff + Ed on guitars, Mark the Harp, Axel drums (Val sang 1). 3 was Rai on bass, Ro + Ed guitars, Scotty B on harp, Mike on keys, Lenny drums. 4 was (newbie) Jason on bass, Ri + Max + newbie Jeff on 3 guitars(!), JP on keys, Golfshoes drums. Newbie Jeff is fantastic!..No Thanksgiving Blues Jam; awww...

My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God cannot believe I honestly passed a drug test.

What's different here than in college town: not quite the town, but my first college was Georgia State, in downtown Atlanta. They don't have a field anywhere; no swimming pool, and barely enough room in their gym for a volleyball net. But somehow they now have a football team; a football team that has to play Alabama on 11-20. Yeah; good luck with that. And, hey; with ALL the cuts in education, no funding for anything, and maybe you've heard about this recessive depression our economy swims in; yeah, so exactly HOW does Ga State find the funds for an inaugural season of football?..Oregon was rated the 3rd hungriest state. Okay...Not in Georgia, baby! Oregon has banned all alcoholic energy drinks (in response to "Four Loko", which is just Drew Carey's 'Buzz Beer'). Bummer.

What's different here than dumbass Arizona: the same as Arizona, actually; Arizona just approved medical marijuana. Yay for them...Oregon was just named the 5th worst state of prescription drug abuse; wow...Different? People here in Oregon started lining up in front of Target at 9 pm Thanksgiving Thursday, getting ready for the store to open at 4 am Friday (YES; just like 'listing up' for concert tickets--how pathetic is that?)...In Arizona I would use wet coffee grounds over, if they had not dried. But here in Oregon, wet coffee grounds could produce mold and death (according to Static Girl). So I am NOT allowed to re-use coffee grounds here. Booo...

How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): We may walk up there on Thanksgiving and plant some bulbs. Yes; we did...

Life with Static Girl: It doesn't take much effort to supply her drinking habit. She slowly drinks the big bottle of Black Velvet, and about every 6 weeks she needs a new one. To save her a trip, I bought her a bottle in early November; I am her enabler...For early Thanksgiving (remember she is vegan) we have adopted 2 turkeys! "Reese" and "Kima" are going to live long, happy turkey lives now...My girlfriend is now in possession of 3 super cool typewriters; 1 of them is a very old Royal antique thing. I like them, and she is crazy about them...Halloween came and went. I was hosting a poker tournament while Static Girl had like, 3 kids show up for our Dollar Tree candy. But that's not my point. I want to talk about my girlfriend's hair! With some gentle flowing silver, she has what I call the most beautiful "Sexy Witch Hair" EVER! And you should see it, but you never will...11-14; I won some poker $. I promised her months ago that if I win $ at poker, then I will split the winnings with her. So my girlfriend now has a 'poker winnings' envelope beside my stereo with $30 in it. Woo hoo!..She and I argue about honey, and she's probably going to win that argument. I say that eating honey is okay because the bees don't have to die--like cows DO have to die to make hamburger. But her point is that we are stealing the bees' honey--now they have to make more; and, she's probably right. Okay. Now this NEW argument might go a bit better for me; WOOL. Follow me; sheep get shaved in the Summer, and they like that--coz it's less hair for them to lug around in the heat. They grow tons more hair, and grow it pretty fast, too; and then we let 'em keep their long hair in the cold Winter. We take their shaved wool and make warm clothes and socks with it for us humans to wear in the cold Winter. We're not eating the sheep, and we're not stealing their honey; and, their hair grows back naturally--and it grows pretty fast. Now; I say this is a "Win-Win" for everybody, but, YOU can't sell it to her, and don't try...She benefits from my new pizza drug habit. I wish I were writing poetry for her, and she knows that I wish I were writing for her; but she loves the pizza, too. It even makes her smile. Heck; she might have a "drug" problem, like me! Seriously; I asked her what she wants from me for Christmas, and she said 'Pizza'. Wait. Do you think I am overstating her "like" of my pizza? Well then; you should see her face light up when I ask her if she'd like to take some of my pizza for her lunch at work; she nods her head really fast, and everything. I will keep making pizzas for my girlfriend, and I'm going to write SOMETHING for her before the end of the year, too...She has demanded that I dispose of my blue house shorts, because they are all ripped up and pathetic white trash. And she's right--I don't even have a way to argue; so, they're gone on 11-20...Chest and tummy noises! I'm an alien experiment, okay? My whole body creaks and groans like a bad horror movie. We all know this. But sometimes I listen to my girlfriend's tummy talk to me. It's amazing; she has different "voices" in her gut--I'm serious! It swirls and gurgles like nothing I've ever imagined. 'I thought that MY upper torso made weird noises, until I met her.'...For Thanksgiving, my girlfriend completed a vegan fast for the Holiday, and I respect that completely!..Boo has moved downstairs! She likes the foot traffic down there, and it frees more space upstairs. Static Girl likes this configuration, so we are all good; my offer still stands to change furniture around upstairs, but this is much easier--for both of us! Yay us!..

My FCP has this for me: She is in my thoughts everyday. She says she thinks of me everyday, too. But I think about her more! Nyaaaaa...I talked to her on the phone. She misses me. Awww...

Comments From The Peanut Gallery: The United States has lost approximately 42,400 factories since 2001...Oregon Senator Wyden Effectively Kills Internet Censorship Bill (Go Ron!)..."China and Russia have quit the American dollar." We're all doomed now!..Colorado is going to be the first state to grade/test marijuana for medical marijuana patients; I have a keen interest in this...

A thought to take with you: "When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race."--H. G. Wells

'I never bother with where the puck has been, I look for where the puck is going to be.'--Wayne Gretzky (maybe not an exact quote, but you get the idea)

New TSA bumper sticker: "We Handle More Packages Than the USPS"

Oregon Bumper Sticker: "My Son Was 'Inmate of the Month' at County Prison"

Band names: "Blood and Black Shit", "Pizzaholic", "Drunkaholic", "Sexy Witch Hair" (Static Girl),
"Botched Abortion"--Todd Margaret, "Giant Sky Cock"--Daily Show, "Broken Legwork"--Whacked Out Sports, "Big-Haired Rythymless Vampires"--Joel Mchale, "Salvaged Pudding"--Keith Olbermann,

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