(...last month we were...)
Reading: More of George Carlin's "Brain Droppings"...
Watching: (I haven't seen it yet, but) There's an IFC film, or maybe it's a SXSW film, whatever, it's called "New World Order". It's all kinds of conspiratoriality with Alex Jones...
Class Projects: House, Sarah Connor, Dollhouse, Art Beats and Field Guides, inventor Modern Marvels,
movies together: Girlfriend likes Winona Ryder, and they both have the same specs (5ft. 8, 120 lbs), so I record her movies. Winona Ryder wants me!..
Shit I watch alone: Free Radio on VH-1 (My new favorite show--I just sit and giggle for the whole cast.), Rescue Me, Whitest Kids You Know, Breaking Bad, Damages, Scrubs, 30Rock, The Soup, UFO Hunters, comedian Ron White's Behavioral Problems, the 3rd Rock From the Sun marathon on TVLand, The Tick VS. Season One, G4 Underground (indie-type channels like G4, TRU, IFC, Fuse, ION, and Sundance are excellent)
Crappy cable movies: M loaned me "True Romance", The Decline of Western Civilzation Part 2: The Metal Years, Hangman, Jamie Kennedy's "Heckler", Waterborne, Spiderman 2, The Trip, Wild At Heart, Scenes of a Sexual Nature, Sex And Death 101, Million Dollar Baby, Grass, Hatchet, The Onion, Gummo, Kill The Poor, Silent Partner,
Play it Again's: Chasing Amy, Fast Food Nation, The Italian Job, Napolean Dynamite, Pleasantville, The Negotiator, Accepted,
Watching and Hearing: NOT watching and NOT hearing; 3 playoff hockey games per day on the Versus channel (sort of), AND now Indy car racing is also on the Versus channel (that we don't get). This is bullshit...At least I get one hockey game on Sat/Sun on some major network, with Mike Emrick still doing play-by-play (wooo).
Hearing: I'm deaf and short-attention-spanned. Huh; what was the question?
New on the radio; The Bacon Brothers (Kevin and Mike); decent rythym and blues...Some band re-did "Mr. Blue Sky". Does that mean there is an ELO tribute CD out? I'd buy that...Seether does Wham...WTF is this Joe Satriani/Sammy Hagar thing; Chickenfoot? Michael Anthony, too, and a Chili Pepper?..
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: They're having a big 20% off everything sale till April 5th, but I've got no money...hang on a second...ooo, yeah, wait for it...The Crystal Method "Drive". Cool; music for an hour-long workout, sort of. Those few of us who study KJ and SK refer to them as "TCM". I had heard a couple of tracks before, but now I own the thing. Nice. Maybe I'll start working out again.
Out and About: Old Jewel at Cash King.
Singing: "Cute without the E"--Taking Back Sunday, "Everything Zen"--Bush, "Am I Wrong"--Alice in Chains
What I want today: A big bottle of pain pills. Um, okay. Make that; 'another big bottle of pain pills'. Wait, no, I've got it: A big bottle of pain pills upstairs AND downstairs, each; yes folks, that's 'crunch and snort' in both bathrooms. Because; well, nobody can have THREE bottles of pain pills, can they?..I want to see Bill Maher's "Religulous"...Let's go work at the recycling center...I want to live out all of my masturbatorical fantasies.
New stuff this month or so: For a few months now, actually; people are driving by my bar and my house, yelling "Bob Saget!" at me. I don't look that much like him, and he's not as perverted as I am, but wtf, I appreciate the reference (he's a genius). Oh! And my guitar buddy K also has people yelling "Bob Saget" at him, too...PepsiCo, which I normally love, has a new thing where you buy a bunch of product, fill out/mail in a form, sign in online somewhere (consumer-tagging), and they'll send you a t-shirt made out of recycled Pepsi bottles. Message to all of YOU doing this: FUCK YOU!!! Hoop-jumping to give Pepsi free advertising? They should GIVE us ALL a box of t-shirts apiece, and go fuck themselves. Okay; maybe I'm a little wound up...My MM pinball was down for 2 weeks, but it should be back up tonight (4-23). I'm gon go whup it...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Cash King run; incense, batteries, and work gloves for our garden plot.
Occupational Hazards: Do NOT fucking hire me; no, not even at the recycling center...
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: On the night of April 1st, roughly 12:30 am, my tv picture broke. The sound still works, so I've been listening to lots of Sirius music (Alt Nation and Octane). Still crippled, and now no tv...New tv! I replaced one 25 inch Samsung with a recycled 25 inch Samsung that flickers; recycling is good...Had to check if the VHS worked on my new tv. From 200 video tapes I chose Bill Hicks' "Sane Man" to run my test--and it worked brilliantly!..To the emergency room with my ankle! It's broken (no it's not; it's bone chipped), and the separate swelling MAY be gout, or just regular arthritis--nobody knows or cares. More drugs! The pain throbs on. Pain is good. 3 hours in the emergency room is an $815 bill...Still crawling around on my hands and knees (for a month now), and I haven't cleaned much in weeks. Down low, you can really see how dirty the floors are getting. Usually I am so anal about cleaning. And I have FOUR loads of laundry waiting for me; I am avoiding laundry like my girlfriend does; ha...I ate a DQ Flamethrower burger; weak-assed piece of shit...8 days of beard-growth (yuck) ended with my final disposable razor use. I will now be using a, um, Schick Quattro thingie, sure. I got the 1/4 inch haircut, too. So?..History was made on 4-30-09, when I celebrated being unemployed for 1 full year...I met this very successful business owner at the bar, and he's a pinball freak! He and I may have a playdate, and I will not ask him about his dumb business...
-21 on Golden Tee golf (Bonnie Moor); 503 million on Medieval Madness pinball (crowned).
New foods this month: My soup keeps getting better; yum!..On a warm day, I made the first cold salad of 2009; yum...Beer is food. My bar now has Blue Moon on draft (not Full Moon)--it's a Portland beer. Yum...I'm going to try 'soupy pasta'; stay tuned (it was good)..."Tim's" brand makes pretty good jalapeno chips, but their wasabi chips are pathetic...Have you tried a "Charged Snickers"; with taurine and caffeine?..Tomater Tots! I am amazing...And I made more of my 'Try not to shit yourself' soup; it would become ghouplash...Then I tried to make spaghetti, but with baking soda it got all fizzy. I meant to use corn starch; this amused my girlfriend...Today we are adding Wheat Thin crumbs, crumbles, and soy sauce to the ghouplash; I am amazing...
This month of Blues Jamming: 4-2? I barely remember. Loud, fun, drunk. K and A jammed like never before. The hottest girl in the bar drove me home; again...4-9-08; still crippled. Poker outside, and a jam inside. K and A got to play together again. 'I Want To Be Sedated'? Sure. Fun all around...4-16; another great jam. A actually brought me home. I was drunker than fuck, and hungover all day Friday...4-23? Hmmm. All the regulars minus Max. Great jam; MM pinball semi-fixed, and to be replaced soon. Poker on the deck--with musicians; I won about $20. All of a sudden it's 3 am. Huh?..4-24-09; the cancer benefit jam for the Snake's girlfriend; I lost about $20 at poker...4-30-09; end-of-month jam on my anniversary of unemployment; good luck! Max was back, and K rocked. Z got to take lots of breaks, and didn't play all my songs. New pinball buddy showed, M, too. Poker also happened. We all got drunk and had fun (imagine).
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God is in the bathroom, puking, and promising to never drink again.
What's different here than in college town: Oregon has this "Blues in the Schools" program for elementary and middle schools; it's all done by the Rainy Day Blues Society (sweet)...Only 1, but 1 anyway, 1 is more than zero; wooo. 1 Oregonian has contracted the killer Mexican piggie swine flu. No deaths yet, but we've got 1 more chance than Georgia does...The UO Ultimate Frisbee team (ranked #3 nationally) has been disqualified from the national title because of a drunken, nude frisbee adventure on campus here. Now; you would think that liquored up/nekkid frisbee would make them MORE popular, wouldn't you? Oh well...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: 13.1% unemployment in my county here; much higher than the national average. Wait; it's up to 14% now...
Life with Static Girl: They love her at her job; she got the big raise, and will be taking over soon...With me limping, girlfriend had to carry the old, broken tv out. Then, back here at the igloo, she also had to carry the new tv in. That's alot of work from a person who hates tv...Because I am crippled, she had to make a double grocery run--and carry everything (of course)...Groceries? She is my organic ketchup; I am her bottle of hot sauce...At the culmination of my worst foot pain, after my trip to the emergency room, I snapped at her--like a very bad boyfriend. I was going to go back to worshipping her anyway; and, now I have a self-imposed (good) reason to...Girlfriend bought a bike! Gorgeous, classy, green; and the bike is nice, too...My girl has great eye-hand coordination. She tosses my ice packs to me with good speed and trajectory. She says that I 'throw like a girl' back to her. Shit...Girlfriend went to the same emergency room I went to (I took her). She needed a software-check. I waited for her, and wrote a poem in the waiting room!..My Static Hottie asked me if I had a "device" that could measure the weight of small items to be mailed. Hmmm. I told her that I do indeed own a "postal scale", and I was able to solve her crisis. Smoke on that. Yeah; who throws like a girl now?..She says "eatable", I say "edible"; and, they are both words. Look at the amazingly trivial things we argue about...Girflriend says that the Killer Mexican Birdie Swine Flu isn't deathly lethal enough, but remember that she is hard to impress...I string gorgeous words together, alliterate, and connect improbable premises almost brilliantly. Yeah; and she just sits there, gazing through me with that same 'hard to impress' gaze she has perfected. I'd like to think that I helped her with that gaze, but she probably didn't need my input...Yeah; and just when I conclude that she is beyond my positive impression, possibly permanently annoyed (look at me stringing pretty words here), just when I figure she is DONE with me, boom, she orders me a gorgeous Led Zeppelin shirt from her job! (It's sweet.)..
My FCP has this for me: I had to send her some 'tough love' notes at the start of the month; I was all kinds of pissy at her, too. I pretty much shit on everything good at the start of April...She called me and spoke sexy; wooo. Sexily? Whatever--she wants me...My FCP is a former Waffle House waitress; can you say 'yum yum'?..She sent me a smoking e-mail of times when she thinks of me; wow, and I thought I knew suggestive obsessions...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: New Avian Swine Flu? And it's drug-resistent? Cool. Just don't call it "Chickenfoot"...
A thought to take with you: "It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government."--Thomas Paine
Band names: I did well this month; "Corpuscle", "Cookie Crumbs", "Itchy Spider Bite", (combo) "Expired Pain Pills" and "May Cause Dizziness", "Conspiratoriality", "Suicide Effects", "Guitar Lessons",
"Ameliorate" (Bones),
(real Oregon bands) "Hammered Grunts", and "Accidental Intoxication"
(...last month we were...)
Reading: the dying newspaper. Ooo; I saw a tabloid picture of Patrick Swayze, and he looks like a skeleton. Skeletor? He's a fine actor; get well P. S.!
Watching: The weekend hockey games with Mike Emrick doing play-by-play are/were on NBC...The Indy 500 will be/was on ABC 5-24-09, and ABC's got the Milwaukee Mile on 5-31-09; go Marco!..Good luck to Conan in taking over the Tonight Show...Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! NBC is carrying the Stanley Cup Finals; that's more Mike Emrick, a good co-starring crew, and more souped-up super-slow-mo than you can shake your stick at. It will be tough to beat the Red Wings, so (of course) I'm picking the Penguins in 7. I'll record the hockey games at home, and pretend to care about basketball at the bar.
Class Projects: House, Bones (Did you catch the Family Guy crossover?), Art Beats, Life After People (History Channel),
movies together: I recorded "Showdown At Area 51" for the inflatable love doll and I to watch together, but she just rolled her eyes and called it a 'silly' idea...We did watch "Waking Life",some of "Outbreak", and the pilot of Serenity together...
Shit I watch alone: IFC Media Project, UFO Hunters (AUTEC); half of "How Bruce Lee Changed the World", Nostradamus 2012, The Link,
Comedians: Willie Barcena, Pablo Francisco's "Ouch", Kiki Melendez' Hot Tamales, Christian Finnegan's "Au Contraire", Josh Sneed, Dane Cook's "Isolated Incident", Jim Norton's "Monster Rain", Greer Barnes,
Crappy cable movies: Harold and Kumar, 1959's "The Fly", 2007's Halloween, Shade, Bug, johns, Carlito's Way, Sister Street Fighter, Shopping, Bullet, Showdown At Area 51, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, New World Order, Little Fish, Click, Dreams with Sharp Teeth,
Play it Again's: The Cooler, Living Dead, Empire Records, Little Miss Sunshine, Rules of Attraction, Identity,
Watching and Hearing: Moody Blues in a Visa commercial, new Greenday backs the IFC Media Project, hey wow, Greenday was also on the SNL season finale; Foo Fighters threw to the first commercial of the Indy 500...I read online about an unreleased 3rd Fig Dish CD, and it's a free download? I need more info, and help!...
Hearing: It's a Crystal Method clusterfuck this month; 2006's "Drive" is pretty good. My 6 newest NIN CD's are still on my desk. Also; lots of crazy Alt singles from the last 20 years; and MY new Michael Tracey CD. Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! 3 Cranberries CD's, 3 Throwing Muses CD's, and then...I went into a Fig Dish Frenzy! Every Figgy, Caviar, Prairie Cartel single, full length, MP3PO (huh?), I'll even figure out zip files (wtf?). Dude; there are 16 Fig Dish songs out there that I have NOT heard yet; maybe TPG can help me. They even have a MySpace fan page.
New on the radio; Greenday's 21st Century Breakdown (I want it). What is this Anberlin--tell me more!..Eminem and Tori Amos also have new music out...Iggy Pop is back!..That's new Taking Back Sunday, right?..311, Dave Matthews, Marilyn Manson, and Afroman! Not new, but still neat. The Monster Magnet song "Spacelord"; I've heard the album version twice this month in Oregon, "Spacelord, Mother Fucker!"...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: I can't afford any of the new music I want...
Out and About: Meatloaf and Blues Traveller at Fred Meyer, BTO at Albertsons, Steve Winwood at the bank,
Singing: Jimmy Buffet, Cake, Bloodhound Gang, Zep 2, "I Don't Care" and "Scratch My Back" from the awesome Michael Tracey CD. "Hey Ladies"--Beastie Boys, "3 Strange Days"--School of Fish,
What I want today: Ooo; I'd like to have MT as my friend on MySpace...Pot Luck, Free Tacos, and Thunder Titties...
New stuff this month or so: Foolishly (for him), MT is my friend on MySpace...44 cent postage now...Our garden plot is cleared, and one-third planted, as of the end of May.
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): I need stuff, too.
Occupational Hazards: roughly 9% unemployment nationally, and 13+% in my county. Instead of just 2 people trying for each job (like 2 years ago), now there are 5 people trying for each job. Employers are cutting pay and benefits for all new hires, and that's only IF you're that lucky 1 in the 5 who gets hired. How long 'til we start rioting, burn government buildings, and flip cars in the streets? I'm fuckin' bored over here...
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: My new pinball buddy W, and his Significant Other B and I are calling places to find pinball machines; I impressed them with a 300 mil first ball of MM...I went on a pinball seek-and-destroy with W; we tore up a Spiderman, and found an old Theatre of Magic, too...I am currently over-extended and broke. I have been drinking far beyond my means, and now I need a bailout...My foot is better, but not healed. Still collecting unemployment, just barely...2nd trip with W; now we have a Batman and Indy Jones pinball to play...I got a bike! Z-Bass has "given" me his old 21-speed. It needed a front tube and a brake-adjustment; and it's a small frame (20 inch), but I have a bike! Now I want a bigger bike...5-26-09; my new tv died. So I went and got a used Panasonic 20 inch...Had to close my (national bank) savings account--they were charging me $3 per month. CHARGING me for a SAVINGS account; aren't banks funny? I'm going to a local credit union soon...I used to play much better pinball alone, but lately I have been scoring higher with competition. Weird...I did okay at getting back into exercising this month, but I need to do so much more...
330 mil on MM pinball, 364 mil on Spiderman pinball, 2.5 bil on Theatre of Magic pinball, 155 mil on Batman pinball, 95 mil on Indiana Jones pinball
New foods this month: I made some more soup that Static Girl said was a bit too spicy; so I mix it with pasta and potatos--still too spicy. MY soup!..One very good cheese-less pizza...Bar-b-que sauced ghoulash, wow...Tater Tot Spaghetti (yum)...I was victorious with Garlic Static Girl Bread...I made some vegan machoroni with lemon juice; light and yummy...More black-eyed pea soup...A new (?) flavor of Clif bar...To reward my yummy girlfriend, I made a Summery plate of cucumber...Cheap, healthy, and light; I doctor up a potato cut in half, and nuke it...Machoroni with b-b-q sauce; not bad at all...
This month of Blues Jamming: 5-7; wow. Slow, laid back, very nice. Golf, poker, and I got drunk. Gee, imagine...5-13, Downtown Wednesday Jam, with the new Indiana Jones pinball; great jam, and all the Hi-Tones were there. MT gave me one of his new CD's (nice). I never broke 100 mil on pinball...5-14; weird night. Somebody pissed off K, Max played the first set, and it was just "off" a little bit. Then again, maybe I got drunk and missed most of it...5-21-09; not enough guitarists--first time ever! Max had to play 3 sets; K was there with no guitar. Z played "Amberlee" brilliantly. Late drunk golf, and I rode home with the hottest girl in the bar, again...5-28-09; Outside Jam! Rock and roll insanity. Barely enough guitarists, and an excellent show. I was muy generous to a guy who's down on his luck right now. A very calm night; Mark the Harp reminds me about Blue Shades tomorrow night. Huh? Rode home with the most incredible girl in the bar, again!..Bonus Blues: 5-29, Blue Shades Friday night! They always tear the place up. They played inside, I met their new bassist Tom. An incredible night, tons of people, and the band shouted out to me (Mark always does)...
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: He does not need a critique from me, but we sure need one from Him...
What's different here than in college town: Not here, but back near college town a UGA professor shot his wife's new male companion, then shot his wife, then he half-buried his own body and fatally shot himself in the head. Oh! And, no suicide note. This is great stuff here; college makes people crazy...I don't have updated #'s for GA or AZ, but in Oregon it costs $28,000 per year to keep a prisoner incarcerated. And that is DOUBLE the most income I've ever earned in a year...It's Peach season in Georgia, and I wish I had a Georgia peach to savor.
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: ASU is a top 10 party school (woo), and will NOT give Obama a freebie diploma just for barking at graduates...Ain't no wetlands in AZ; our West Eugene Wetlands won 2 awards this month: 1 from the Dept. of Interior, and the other from the Bureau of Land Management...Panic at the High School! On a Friday here, 173 students from 1 school stayed at home to avoid piggie flu...Oregon is getting "greener" dishwashing soap, whatever the fuck that means...At the end of May, the Oregon Art Beat tv show celebrated 10 years on the air...
Life with Static Girl: All of that cool extra stuff I did last month in this "Life with Static Girl" section did not interest her one bit. She even shut her eyes WHILE I was explaining it to her. VERY hard to impress, my girlfriend is...Soap! She does extra work to make sure that we have lots of glycerine soap...(She warned me) I wanted to be the good boyfriend and clear out our whole garden plot. She said I would over-do it, and strain my back. She was right...As I recover, but am not at full strength yet, Girlfriend took it upon herself to clean the main bathroom ceiling--no mo mold. She just shut herself in the bathroom for an hour and did it all. Nice...She got me some little garlic thingies to grow in our garden. Cool. Cool people at her job also got us some Oregon Sugar Pod Peas...My "Radiant Rift" made more cookie bars for me. All I did was say how great they were, and that I was thinking about them, and BOOM--there's a new batch in the fridge...I registered the cool, pirate anti-virus she installed for me--so the government can track me now...It IS her birthday month; you should all thank her for keeping me happy enough to NOT dissolve this stupid planet filled with the dumb human virus...For her birthday I had installed a much-more-effective/much-less-annoying bathroom fan (hopefully no mo mold), got her the double disc "Absolute Garbage" CD, cooked her a pizza, and promised the bell of her choice for her new bike...My girlfriend is so trim that she has to wear a belt to keep her jeans up; my Skinny Vegan Goddess...You know those people who stand with billboards and wave at traffic? My girlfriend always smiles and waves back at them; becasue that's a whole conversation with no words right there...Like the ramen noodles that fly free, lately I have been finding/stepping on tiny pieces of her uncooked spaghetti. They're everywhere; the sink, the stove, the microwave, the carpet, and the bathroom floor. She makes me smile...More stuff we argue about: drinking glasses in the cabinet; should they go mouth-up or mouth-down? I go top-down/bottom up to avoid dust in the glass. She goes mouth up to keep the mouth part off the cabinet shelf paper bacteria. Who's right here? Ooo! I say apricot, like "apple"; she says A-pricot like "ace"...She's leaving/left me for 2 days to go be an artist. The guinea pigs and I will miss her...My girlfriend has a green thumb, and can make anything grow. I have 2 black thumbs, and can destroy any living vine (this gardening thing should be fun)...Art Class Girlfriend; she is now a certified designer artiste (and no, I don't know what that means--but she's good with it)...She is my white chocolate, macadamia nut, delicious, Clif Bar Girlfriend..."Dark Rift"; that's what they're calling the date 12-21-12. I think it's some cool tribute to my Girlfriend (she deserves one)...I thank my girlfriend, dearly, for being the good influence on me...I have to zing her just once; when I cook food, I keep her close in mind, and try to create dishes that she might like, as well. When SHE cooks food, she just cooks one serving for herself--it's like I'm not even here...
My FCP has this for me: "I find vibrators far less complicated than relationships with men." Wow; (like me) she can do shock value, too--that's my girl!..My FCP was the first person I mailed anything to with the new 44 cent postage deal...It's Peach season in Georgia, and I wish I had a SPECIFIC Georgia peach to savor; mmmm...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Cheerios are a drug? Have you heard about this?..40% of American babies are born to unwed women (I thought it was more.)..."Ford's most advanced assembly plant operates in rural Brazil." (Does anybody else have a problem with this?)...2000 U. S. auto dealerships are closing...(the LEAD story on Alternet, 5-28-09:) "Contamination has become so widespread that major frozen food purveyors admit they can no longer ensure the safety of their products."...Surveys indicate that 8% of the standard population use illegal drugs...
A thought to take with you: Good for Wanda Sykes--she stirred the pot a little bit (Rush Limbaugh needed to be slapped anyway). Don't invite me OR Wanda to your next little tight-assed political shin-dig.
Band names: Apparatus, (3 from one scary bar adventure) "Pot Luck", "Free Tacos", and "Thunder Titties"...
"Scissor Fight" (Free Radio), "Hairy Middle-Aged Tilt-A-Whirl" (Rescue Me)
(...last month we were...)
Reading: The dying and dwindling newspaper.
Watching: On 5-31-09, Sunday, there was an Indy car race--at the Milwaukee Mile. I fucking watched the first half of it, and I recorded it, but had to leave before it was done. Later, while drunk and stupid, I deleted it from my DVR. I don't know who won. But it's okay; I'll record The Final Score, and Sportscenter; on Monday I can read about it in the newspaper, and then hear something about it on PTI. Nope. No Indy cars on The Final Score, no Indy cars on Sportscenter, NO results of an Indy car race in the next-day newspaper, and no mention on PTI. This is a sporting event--it deserves acknowledgement. I sit through fucking boring-assed golf, and dogshit-dumb horse-racing, even stupid cunt softball; where the fuck is my Indy car race? Okay; I went online and found my info; Dixon won, and Marco finished 7th. But I shouldn't have to try so hard (Next day update: the newspaper is okay--there was a nationwide AP glitch Sunday night; the local paper here printed the race stats on Tuesday, with an apology for the delay. But the highlight shows have no excuse for missing a televised event.)...Not all (Stanley Cup) hockey games are/were on NBC--just the weekend ones; it sucks. But "Go Pittsburgh!" anyway! Yay Pittsburgh; the 2009 Stanley Cup Champs!..Dish finally got CBS back, and I was SO missing Oprah...
Class Projects: Nature's Most Amazing Events, Whale Wars season 2, Galapagos - Beyond Darwin, The Ultimate Guide: "Spiders" (Science channel preview), Doctor Who,
movies together: Legally Blonde, a little of Titanic, most of Outbreak, Stardust, (rented) Indiana Jones and his Crystal Alien Skull,
Shit I watch alone: I went to the movies alone to see "The Hangover", Tosh.0 (my new favorite show--until Free Radio comes back), hockey games, Weeds is back on, Ideal is dumb, Nurse Jackie is okay,
but we will be streamlining our tv end o' June--fewer movies.
Comedians: Kathy Griffin (2) "Straight to Hell" and "Everybody Can Suck It", Rodney Carrington, Kurt Metzger, more John Caparulo,
Crappy cable movies: Made, Dinner Rush, Eaten Alive, Enough, Catch Me If You Can, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Mr and Mrs Smith, (1990's) Lord of the Flies, Stuck, Carver, Havoc (topless Anne Hathaway), Two Tickets To Paradise,
Play it Again's: Vegas Vacation, Coneheads, Raising Arizona, Nowhere, The Devil's Rejects,
Watching and Hearing: More Sirius music; the "Lithium" channel. It's 90's Alt and grunge, which is what I worked in, and know pretty well. They had Richard Patrick (of Filter, and Army of Anyone) sit in primetime on Friday 6-19. I guess I could DVR that stuff, huh?..Girlfriend also likes the "Pulse" channel.
Hearing: The Absolute Garbage remixes, 4 Offspring CD's, the incredibly UNappreciated Rescue Me original television soundtrack, SP's Zeitgeist (You do know that Billy Corgan did everything but the drums on that CD, right?), multiple SP actually, 2 Crumb CD's, Dire Straits, lots of Depeche Mode,
*Bonus note on "hearing"*: I sat in B-Rad's ride to hear his 2000 watt stereo. He cranked it to about 3/4 volume, and it felt like being on a roller coaster. Seriously; your whole body shakes, and your hair flops around like 60 mph winds. Much like actual exercise--it was painfully beautiful. I am a different person now.
New on the radio; is that new Black Eyed Peas? (yes), (last month) Mushroomhead redid Seal's "Crazy", that's new Lemonheads, right?
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home:
Out and About: the Who at Mongolian Grill (a 70's channel), the same BTO loop at Albertsons,
Singing: Seether's version of Wham, "Push It"--Salt 'n Peppa, "Pretty Never Hurts"--Fig Dish, "Chemicals Between Us"--Bush, "Wipe That Smile Off Your Face"--Our Lady Peace, "Seems Like a Dream"--Fleetwood Mac, "Cut Without The E"--Taking Back Sunday,
What I want today: New teeth, a new right shoulder, a new right foot, a smaller gut, etc...Ooo ooo ooo ooo, there IS an ELO tribute CD, "Lynne Me Your Ears", it's a discontinued double-disc thing from 2004 (Once again I learn cool shit from the public radio station KRVM.)...Do I want my own bike yet, or do I want to keep riding the Z-Bass bike?..
New stuff this month or so: At Fred Meyer (like a west coast Kroger), I saw a large display for these baseball-sized clocks that run on water; on fucking WATER! There is no energy crisis, and there never has been...Friends/employees of my bar, the band "dubious" made the Final Four in Eugene's "Last Band Standing" (go dubious!)...The "R" Harvest Farms produce stand re-opened up on 6-12-09...It looks like TPG's stint in Seattle is about over. He may be wandering through here before heading back to the desert...In the Confederations Cup semi-finals, the U. S. soccer team stunned Spain, 2-0, for Spain's first loss in 35 matches; that's pretty fucking impressive, then we lost to Brazil in the final on 6-28. But this was a VERY good run for U. S. soccer! Look for the U. S. in the final 8 of the 2010 World Cup...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): incense, baggies and hash browns from Dollar Tree;
Occupational Hazards: Static Mom came up with the most brilliant idea ever! Since I really WANT to work at CDWorld; she suggested that I offer to intern there for free (or for trade in CD's). Then, if a spot ever opened up, I would have a leg up on non-interns (Dude; isn't that how you got your start in radio?)...Maybe I could work for the unemployment department, and help them NOT have 60 minute hold-times for the callers...
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: I lost my cool fanny pack thing. I also apparently lost my last grey Trager backpack. I'm losing my shit over here...Somewhere in the first 6 days of June, my right shoulder got/is/continues to be all strained. I used to have this exact same deformity on my LEFT shoulder, back when I was employed and working out...Great; now my teeth are loose and hurting (one tooth, you pussy). Ow...Groundbreaking! On 6-5-09, we had confirmation of peas growing in our garden...One mom attacks! Static Mom will arrive 6-12, to hang out and do Oregon stuff for a week. I hope she doesn't break into my stash again...On 6-10, I took the wimpy 20 inch tv back, and got the 26 inch Sharp. My biggest tv ever!..The 6-12 trip (with Static Mom) to the garden confirmed not only new buds on the flowers, but also NEW fruit on our tomato plants!..Then I bought/planted my own cherry tomato plant...Later I would get 3 more tomato plants for free!..From Static Mom, I learned about the game "Numbrix". After 3 tries, I am now an expert. I'm serious...2 Sundays in a row I won money at my own poker game! Go me!..I did write a wimpy poem this month; that's pretty good...And I am re-doing the Bulldozer puzzle game that I haven't done since 2001...I found a weird lump on my leg; it's definitely leg cancer...6-25-09; woke up with my right foot swollen AGAIN! I'm too mad to cry about the pain...6-26; back to the Doc, he says it's gout, I'm fucked, deal with it. So I spent $110 of my poker winnings/possible bicycle $ for Dr. L's sarcasm, and prescriptions. Pray for more pain pills, too...TPG IS running back to the desert, and WILL be stopping by here on the way--the last Sunday in June! He did, and it was fun. He dropped off 4 huge boxes of my old CD's; it'll take months to go through and listen to everything here...And that might be okay, because we just got another unemployment extension. But now I do have to record my job searches...
-22 on Golden Tee (6-26), 203 million on MM pinball (the right flipper is dying).
New foods this month: I soaked black-eyed peas in a pasta jar, kinda white trashy, and then made dirty rice with the leftover water...Beer is food; Fat Tire in a can...And then beer was food again; the new 5-4-1 lager, made by Hop Valley brewing (drink local), and MORE food: Hop Valley also has a "Double D Blonde" that is quite tasty...I invented "Speedghetti" during Static Mom's visit...Static Mom made burgers out of big mushrooms--they are excellent! So then I made burgers out of mushrooms, with some of my poker $...Mixed veggies in a bowl, with crumbles, hash browns, a bit of vegetable juice, and 1 shredded serrano pepper. Sometimes I like to sweat, and cry, while I eat healthy...
This month of Blues Jamming: 6-4-09; not very crowded. Z played a brilliant "Amberlee" first set, A came and rocked set 2 with Mark, Max ruled set 3, it was great! I rode home with one of DJ barkeep's ex-girlfriends, I think...6-11; Nice. Z ruled first set, set 2 was Jimmy, Roger, and Mark the Harp, set 3...wait for it...Horn Boy AND Max played; and Jeff may be Max's biggest fan! Set 4 was drunk golf; sorry. I either rode home with a different DJ barkeep's ex-girlfriend, or maybe a hot off-duty policewoman--I'm not completely sure...6-18; Holy Shit Batman! No Mark the Harp (boo), but then MT showed--wearing his Blues Jam shirt! He did "Use Me Up", "Shakey Ground", "Scratch My Back" and "Mystery Train" for me, all in the first set with Ricky and Ralph; set 2 was Tony Rae and Dave, set 3 was...wait for it...Max and Kyle (Fuck yes!), set 4 was shortenend because of rain--but what a night! And MT plays with his regular band at Happy Hours tonight, and I guess I'm obligated...Bonus Jam; Mike Tracey and the Hi-tones at Happy Hours Friday night 6-19. Incredible. At least a dozen people from my regular bar were there; Z-Bass even showed. I stayed for 2 full sets, as I promised. How about a 10-minute "I Don't Care" where everybody gets a solo? Nice. Strangers broke into dance, and the band was tighter than they've ever been--very impressive...6-25-09; another outside show. Girlfriend dropped me off, because I am crippled with gout again. Crutches were there for me. Yay. Ricky + Ralph first set, Morgan and (new) Joe 2nd set, Kyle and Billy J. 3rd set, Max and Ralph 4th set. Right before the 4th set, Max said to me "Finish your golf game and get out here--I'm about to play!' Is that cool as shit, or what? Max loves me! Brilliant night; Z even played Amberlee for Amberlee's mom (1st song, 4th set), and mom loved it! Late drunk golf, at the bar till 3 am with a jukebox tribute to Michael Jackson; then the gottest girl in the bar, and her mom, woo, brought me home...
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: I keep calling, but God won't answer His phone.
What's different here than in college town: Bullet Trains? Our little city is on the path of the north/south high speed rail line plan (for the west coast); woo...The "Big House", the Georgia Theater, the BEST place in Athens to see a band perform burned to the ground on 6-19. And that sucks. But almost immediately, (southern GA, and now) Athens band Perpetual Groove stepped in to do a benefit show for the Theater owners (if that link doesn't work, just look up Perpetual Groove on MySpace or Google). BIG props to Perpetual Groove, and good luck to them and their upcoming CD "LIVELOVEDIE" (go buy one at their website)...Athens had ONE good radio station, and it disappeared after the corporate buyout/the firing of live DJ's (hey that's me). Here? We have access to more decent/above average radio stations than I have presets for (9), and THIS is a town of only 120,000 people...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: We have World Nude Bike Ride Day here; I was not allowed to participate...Ooo; and then we had regular Bike Day, 6-13, which I CAN be a part of--so long as I'm dressed...Radio in Phoenix? I recall 2 or 3 decent stations, with one more that was sincerely hit-or-miss, so call it 3.5 decent stations. Again, there are more than 9 decent stations here...In 1987, the Oregon state motto was changed from "The Union" to "She Flies With Her Own Wings."...
Life with Static Girl: Skinny Garden Goddess! Not just wearing a belt to keep her jeans up, but now she's on her final belt loop. She may have to get a smaller belt, like I did early last year...She leaves me beautiful thank you notes sometimes; I like that...Broken plates! I brutally shattered another of her pretty green plates in the sink. Bad boyfriend. Oh; and it had cut my finger, so I wound up with blood all over me--scaring the crap out of my girlfriend (we had just watched the movie "Outbreak")...Static Girl does a great job of keeping stamps in the house, and she always buys pretty ones, too...She has some gorgeous capri jeans; I'd never seen capri jeans. My fashionable Summer girlfriend...Yeah; and you should see her strut around in my old Espresso Love Seizure shirt; sweet...While I water our garden plot (and do sound effects), she weeds out the constricting vines...Mixed signals; she's not the most affectionate person ever. Sometimes she will say 'Stop kissing me; stop touching me.' But then she'll slide right up next to me really close. I'm good with that...According to her, my exercise ball is not furniture. I was incorrect in calling it so...We already knew she can make beautiful calenders out of the cool digital pictures she takes. And now with all the new pictures from the last month, we will have even more. Look for the upcoming dragonfly pages!..
My FCP has this for me: "Waffle House": it's not just for breakfast anymore (anytime is a great time)...She likes hugs, and hug by-products...It took an e-mail to her for me to learn that "usuality" is not a word. Why the F not? It's a good word. Waffle House is my "usuality" preference for so many good things...She LOVES her new nickname "Thrillride"; and the new nickname for me is kind of cool, too. But it's private...She sent me a care package of neat stuff; with garden seeds, all kinds of cool shit, and a new Mountain Dew flavor! Blue Game Fuel; Thrillride is my punch of wild fruit flavor!..Fondle with flair (again); I'd like to get hands-on with my FCP; tangible-ieve it!...Then I called her "My Little Sexy Multi-Vitamin", which I'm pretty sure she will also approve of...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Roger Penske has offered to buy the Saturn car company and run it as a profitable business; very nice...(6-8-09, front page of the WRH website) "Fed Inspector General claims to have no knowledge of where 9 trillion was loaned"..."The birth rate for unmarried women increased 7 percent between 2005 and 2006, reaching 50.6 births per 1,000 unmarried women aged 15-44 years."
A thought to take with you: "This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing Government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it."--Abraham Lincoln, 1861.
"The greatest wealth is to live content with little."--Plato
"We are entering a new phase in human history -- one in which fewer and fewer workers will be needed to produce the goods and services for the global population."--Jeremy Rifkin, economist
"The women of the United States are nothing but brood sows, having sons to be put into the army and made into fertilizer."-- Kate Richards O'Hare (in 1915)
An ounce of marijuana grinds down to a half-cup of baking flour for creating tasty treats.
Band names: "Private Waffle House", "Funtasy" and "Percolating Lust" (FCP), (ooo, ooo, ooo, AT the bar, I came up with the ultimate bar name: "Rehab". I'm a fucking genius!), "Dose The Bar" (snicker), "Right Hand Dry" (for playing Goden Tee at a bar), "Skid Marks", "Hostel La Vista", (wordplay) "Victorius Secret" (get it?), Z-Bass came up with "Fizzle Doubt" (fizzled out),
(...last month we were...)
Reading: What? Is this a test? I read the newspaper, and the ingredients listed on most of the food I eat.
Watching: We did not drop movie channels, but added to them: HBO, SHO, + TMC for 3 months. I am busy...The Scifi channel is now SyFy? WTF? Is it better to PURPOSELY misspell things now?..
Class Projects: nature shows, Dr. Who, CSI: Miami, Bones; she watched a 'Nurse Jackie' with me, and she will even watch Countdown and The Daily Show with me sometimes
movies together: "X-Files: I Want To Believe", "There's Something About Mary", "Ghostbusters"
I will DRAG my girlfriend to go see "Food, Inc." at our little art theater. Or, maybe not. Perhaps she will watch it with me as a rental. Someday.
Shit I watch alone: I borrowed "Old School", "The Departed", and the first 2 seasons of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"..."Hung" on HBO is okay, M + M Have Issues isn't too bad, Tosh.0 has the Burger King 'prank of the week' that I like, World's Dumbest Drivers on TRU, Viva la Bam + Jackass,
Comedians: Daniel Tosh "Completely Serious", Bill Maher "The Decider", Rita Rudner "Born To Be Mild", more Richard Jenni, John Heffron, "live nude comedy" on Showtime,
Crappy cable movies: "Trinidad", "Death To Smoochy", "Burn After Reading", "Crime and Punishment in Suburbia", "Bad Lieutenant", "Crashing", "Midnight Movie", "Taken Away", "The Haunting of Sorority Row", "Devil's Pond", "Bottom's Up", "Knocked Up", "Naked Fear", "Death Valley", "Ocean's Thirteen", "Saving Silverman", "Forgetting Sarah Marshall",
Play it Again's: "Very Bad Things", "The Rookie", "Summer School" (yay), "Ted Bundy" (I should watch 'Bundy' every month, and do),
Watching and Hearing: Oh man. It was fantastic; an A + E "Private Sessions" with Dennis DeYoung (Styx). He's 62, and he can still bring it--ballad, OR bash...On Ovation was "An Ox's Tale", a great tribute to John Entwistle of the Who, narrated by Peter Frampton...So I'm watching the 7-14-09 episode of "Rescue Me", like a good boy, and, um, did I hear a Shirley Manson song in the background?..Right; so that was a plug, a vote, a HOPE(!) for a secondary "Rescue Me" soundtrack to be released. Ahem. And, from the FIRST "Rescue Me" soundtrack, song 3 ("I'll Be Your Man"--The Black Keys) is also the THEME song for the new HBO series "Hung" (now I've gotta get some Shirley Manson on "Hung")...Remember when this whole paragraph was just about familiar music in commercials? There's a new Lincoln commercial with some Crystal Method in the back...
A 'watching and hearing' first time ever thingie! Congrads to Family Guy, and creator Seth Mac for getting the first cartoon Emmy, ever! Bonus note on Family Guy; at the Pinball Hall of Fame in Las Vegas, Family Guy is the most-played pinball machine. Cool, huh?
Hearing: All the movie channels listed above, plus runs through 3 Sirius music channels, plus (thanks to TPG) a couple thousand CD's to still get through. I'm the busiest unemployed guy you know...In the CD's; Soul Coughing's "El Oso", other Soul Coughing and Jesus Lizards are now flying around the bar. But that's not the news...The news is the 2006 "Rescue Me" soundtrack. I hear it at home, then took a copy to the bar. It's also in Ray's truck, and now attached to Robert's car. Everybody digs the Rescue Me soundtrack; 3 other bartenders are taking it home now. I did good...
New on the radio; something sounded like new Against Me (cool), and is that new Son Volt?; did I hear (a radio commercial) that RUSH is touring this Winter?..On the U of O radio station, KWVA, I heard Ice-T do a promo, then I called in and flirted with the girl who played it...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Purchases? Maybe I'll SELL some CD's when I drop off another resume and beg to work there...No resume-drop, but I did wander through the store on 7-16 to see new Crystal Method I don't have (yet), and new NIN (Snow Patrol; is that live?)...How many CD's will my birthday bring me? I want the Anberlin, too...
Out and About: Eagles and Phil Collins at Dollar Tree, Smashmouth at Fred Meyer, Quarterflash and Phil Collins (wait, probably Genesis) at Albertson's, then Chicago and Soul Asylum at Albertson's...It IS fun to hear your own CD's at the bar...
Singing: "Sex and Candy"--Marcy Playground, "What's My Age Again?"--Blink 182, "Lady"--Dennis DeYoung (Styx), "Take Your Fingers From My Hair"--Zebra,
What I want today: Want? Fuck "want"; this is a pure "need". We're goin' to the head shop--and SOON; Daddy needs screens and hippie incense...Yeah, yeah. While we're over here in the "need factory", I need a Summer haircut to inspire me (got it on 7-16)...I want to have a party with The Dan Band performing...
New stuff this month or so: The Indiana Pacers basketball team is going for an all-white line-up. Good luck to them...Where did the lima beans in my mixed veggies go? Were they too expensive? I swear; they were here last month--me, and the free range piggies loved them. No mo lima beans; snif...Old men kicking ass; Mark Martin (50, and always my favorite) has won at least 4 Nascar races this year, and Lance Armstrong (37) finished top 3 in the Tour de France...Harry Fucking Pot: apparently there's another Potter movie out, and it ran as a midnight movie on All-Star baseball game night. In this tiny town, 19 theaters were full of Harry Pot-lets. 19 fucking theaters. Wow. It must be the some of the same folks who sit 6 cars deep in the Taco Bell drive-thru; I don't understand THEM, either...Oh my God. Or; Darwin. Whatever. (7-20-69) So I asked my 8 poker players; 'Does anybody here think we went to the moon in 1969?' Turns out; they ALL believe we went to the moon in 1969. I could have gone off on all of them (those fucking sheep), but chose to remain neutral...RIP Alan Stang; one of my favorite writers at Etherzone...As of 7-20, my bar has a new jukebox that will also play outside, and they replaced MM pinball with Pirates of the Caribbean pinball (.75 cents per game)...Triple digits! We finally had a day of 101 degrees, on 7-27-09 (with 4 more predicted, in a row). Then Tuesday 7-28, was 106--a new record!..
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Dollar Tree; 4 lighters for $1 became 3 lighters for $1...4 triple A batteries...
Occupational Hazards: Whoa. The state unemployment numbers dropped in June! (Seasonally adjusted--whatever the fuck that means) Down from 14% to 13.2%...Why ain't we growing hemp yet? We can eat it (food), live in it (construction materials), wear it (clothing), and drive our cars on it (fuel). (Shhh. I still have a business plan.)
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: Hey you scraggleheads! Somebody send me another survey! I haven't seen a survey since January. I'll give you credit for it, or blame the person of your choosing for it--whatever. Just send me a survey...Hundreds in new Dr. bills. But the good news is: more pain pills!..Lost the cap to Chrome Dome when I fell down behind the bar. Then; more than a week later, I found said cap to Chrome Dome--long after I had given up looking for it. That's 2WICE in Oregon (t)his cap has run away, and then showed up week(s) later--after all hope was lost...My freak watering of our garden plot has caused the Chinese Balsam to reincarnate. Um; should that be an "Asian Balsam"?..Listen up: this month I fed worms, photographed piggies, and learned a little about weeding our garden...Apparently I still don't communicate well with my own Mother. She pulls the little "brain games" on me, and I'm not even paying attention, much less playing her little "brain game". Women are fucking crazy anyway...Ooo, after my haircut, I cut the left side of my head open during a ping pong clinic, while beating up 6 other players...7-22; I got full-blown sick; coughy, sneezy, yucky...I won my own last poker tournament in July...7-29 was a day: I ate the first 2 cherry tomatoes off of my tomato plants. Yay me. Also on 7-29, I finally completed Bulldozer again--it's hard as shit...
461 mil on MM pinball (with a weak right flipper--nobody else can get over 100 mil). I have yet to break 100 mil on the beat-up Pirates pinball. -23 (Bonnie Moor, finally) on Golden Tee. Also on Golden Tee; my 47,916 (Bonnie Moor) greatest shot points on July 28th was apparently the world record for July, 2009. Woo.
New foods this month: a "tomatocado" paste for rice, made in the Magic Bullet--very yummy...Look for a legume/mushroom combo paste soon. Yes, it was okay. Next time we'll use olives, too. Girlfriend says it's all hummus...Tomatocado rice with kidney beans; yum...Wild rice w/blackeyed peas (will be salty)...Cheaper than avocado; a can of sweet peas makes a very good base for pastes...Beer is food again: my favored Twilight Ale has been replaced at the bar with Rogue Dead Guy Ale; from Newport, OR...Look for home-made soy milk coming soon, as corporations ruin organics...More combinations; spaghetti rice, with black-eyed peas and crumbles (YUM)...Summer salad; lettuce, olives, green peas, and kidney beans; nice...
This month of Blues Jamming: 7-2-09; outside again. K was just a customer. 1st set was Ricky and Ralph, 2nd was Billy J. + Ralph, 3rd was A and Max--with neck-braced Mat drumming for the first time in a month. 4th set was just a couple of songs. I got drunk and fell down 2wice--lost the cap to Crome Dome. No clue as to how I got home, either; oh well...7-9-09; outside. Dave P. + Ralph, then Morgan + (Ralph?), Max played 3rd (with Dave?); I got drunk. DJ barkeep brought me home. No Taco Bell. Z can't even remember everyone who all played--so I'm not the only idiot here. I'll take better notes next week...7-16; better notes? Yes. Started late, so I killed MM pinball with the dying right flipper; 461 mil. 1st set was the house band, Ricky and Ralph. I met Kristen during it. 2nd set, Morgan and Ralph, Tom on bass (from JP's Cheeseburgers), Clark on drums. Randy and Val got up to sing, while Mark harped. set 3 was Max + Billy J, James on bass, Lenny drums. set 4 was the house band again, with a full Amberlee serenade. Sweet. I lost $20 out of my pocket (booo), but got a free ride home, and stayed up till dawn...7-23 I was coughy/sniffly, and called in sick...7-30-09; this is Z-Bass' 7-year anniversary of hosting the Blues Jam. More musicians than ever! I hung out with new singer "Starshine". Ricky solo set 1, Morgan and (new) Scott set 2, (new) Mike, Max and Kyle set 3, drummer Mat, Andy and Jimmy L set 4. Wow. Cab home, shitfaced.
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: Just like WE fucking did NOT go there, GOD also did NOT go to the moon in 1969. You fucking fucks. Well, wait a sec. Maybe GOD did, and maybe that's cool; but WE did not. I'm tired of talking about this to you dumbass fucks...
What's different here than in college town: We have the big country fair going on up here this month. Huh? Oh; the Big Country Fair. Sheesh. Look at me yawning...I do miss the 3 pretty girls for every idiot guy in Athens. That's good man-math! I also painfully miss Waffle House's, The Varsity, and Steverino's...In Loganville GA (near Athens), there's a Waffle House that gave free food to cops, and then the cops tased their waiter for fun...Up here; the Dalton Carpet Outlet (which is for Dalton, GA) has a fresh sign up: "New Shipment of REM in stock". I am way-confused; REM has their own carpet?..Georgia just finally hit double-digit unemployment in June, 2009 (10.1%); while Oregon still has the highest unemployment rate in the nation (12.4%), and the county I live in sits at over 14% unemployment...Drunk and stupid. There's a 26 yr. old guy in Bend who now has 7 DUI's. SEVEN. How do you get more than 3?..Dozens of local people here have swine flu; that sucks...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Along with the Big Country Fair, we also have an annual Bach Festival here this month...AZ has 110+ degree days; we have some days at 90--but with tons of humidity...(I couldn't make up shit this good!) "Arizona state senator Sylvia Allen thinks the earth is 6000 years old"...(It wasn't up to Obama?) Senate Bill 676 (when signed) will make Oregon (only) the seventh state to approve the legalized growing of industrial hemp (and we'll be the only state west of the Rockies with legal hemp). My business idea creeps closer...Eugene, OR is rated the 8th safest driving town in America. I remember that the intersection of OUR cross streets in Phoenix (7th st and Bell) was in the top 10 of most dangerous intersections in America...(The old 3 Phoenix "Guys") TP Guy, Pool Guy, and Purple Guy (that's me), are all unemployed right now. And what's worse, my old Famous Sam's neighborhood bar with golf and pinball has shut down completely. Boo...Rollerskis? X-C Ski-striding is very big up here; cross-country street-skiing. Sure; I'd try that...
Life with Static Girl: Ask about the "Snuggie"! (finished on 7-18) Some lucky dog is going to get my girlfriend's first ever crocheted blanket. It took her over a month to make, it's gorgeous, and I would just like to say; 'Arf!'...When she gets upset about work, life, or whatever, I encourage her to unleash her anger/frustration on me. 'Coz I can take it. And; sometimes, I am the ONLY person in the world who can make her smile...She doesn't HATE the hash browns that I bought for her, however, she prefers to take tater tots and crush them into her own hash browns. But she does appreciate that I tried to get her some hash browns...Remember folks; "blah" is not bad. In fact, "blah" is pretty much her default setting. "Ick" is problematic. "Ick" can ruin an otherwise gorgeous, gloomy day. Down with "Ick"!..I do well at small shopping runs--which saves her all kinds of time, and frustration. She appreciates it, too. She does great at the larger shopping runs. I pointed out how "shoppingly compatabale" we are--as roomates; (her eyes roll) apparently this is old news to her...I heard somewhere that a woman needs to be both a librarian, and, a stripper. My girlfriend is 98% or 99% librarian, and I like it that way...I would consider my girlfriend a "closed book". She doesn't reveal much, and won't explain much--she pretty much does her own thing--quietly. And THAT drives my MoM crazy (Bonus!)--which just makes me like my Static Girlfriend even more...Liking her more? She surprised me with an invitingly sweet, mid-Summer trim job. Never mind...She and I argue about the copyrights on television soundtracks. She takes the high road, and says to not burn any discs, ever; and that even the soundtrack bands are losing money. I say that UNlike a single-band CD, soundtracks only make money for the record companies, and the individual soundtrack bands couldn't care less if I burn a copy (and I could be wrong)...Glitter pen! My girl got me a gorgeous glitter pen from her work. I used to work; never mind...On Friday, 7-17, she and I ate peas out of our own garden plot--for the first time ever! I consider this very big news...She put up (on HER own website) the picture I took of the caged piggies...How cool, dark, and awesome is my girlfriend? I'll ask her; 'Is there anything you want to talk about?', and she'll just shake her head 'No.'. Nearly the perfect woman, she is...After I got sick, it made her sick, and because she doesn't get enough practice doing it, she sounds like "DEATH" when she coughs. I am so sorry, baby...
My FCP has this for me: She offers threatening promises, and interrrupted naps; nice...Sometimes she's sex and candy; other times she's hot and salty. You just never know--but stay hungry...She could probably add some colour to my grayness, too...I asked for a devious e-mail, and she delivered brilliantly. Yum; and now I'm hungry, again...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: "Foreign investors are growing very tired of the United States government's national debt, which has now hit $11.5 TRILLION and is growing at the rate of about $3.88 billion a day. That's $2.7 million per minute, and $44,000 per second!" (The WRH website; 7-13-09)...In a related story, our annual national deficit is over a trillion dollars (first time ever), with 3 months left to dig even deeper into this rabbit hole..."Since Dean Foods acquired Silk it has ditched support of domestic organic farms." (No more Silk soymilk for us!)...Poor Stephen Baldwin files for bankruptcy in New York. WTF?..33% of American kids are fat (awww)...15,000 people applied for 500 total jobs; ha...Married people average having sex 2 times per month (Another reason Static Girl and I won't be getting married; tell me again--why do you idiots keep getting married?)...
A thought to take with you: "An unhurried sense of time is in itself a form of wealth."--Bonnie Friedman (from my girlfriend's website)
Band names: "Moonpeek", or "Moonpeak", "Illicitocity" stretches to "Illicitoxicity" (from my crazy mind); "Downstairs Sex" + "Progress in a Pointless Project"--Static Girl, "Open-Minded Parameters"--DanBob,
"Boy Band Ass" (Old School), "Dead Quitty Fish" (Daily Show), "Specious" (CSI Miami), "Mongolian Death Worms" (Conspiracy Journal), "Shaved Russian" + "The D. B.'s" (Rescue Me),
(...last month we were...)
Reading: "NASA Mooned America"--Ralph Rene. I don't have it, but would read it (Most people actually believe that Americans went to the moon in 1969. Wow. Do you?)...Foolishly, I read the obituaries on Thursday 8-20-09 to learn that harmonica player Steve (Man of Steel) Steele died of his liver cancer. Talked to him a month ago, and he sounded good. Honestly, I thought he had been getting better--I wanted to call him the other day and remind him that Blues jams are outside again at our bar. Damn...
Watching: NOT watching; The Sarah Connor Chronicles got cancelled? Do they expect "Dollhouse" to carry Friday nights now? Those idiots...I wait patiently for "Conspiracy Theories With Jesse Ventura" on TRU tv, coming in October...
Class Projects: Whale Wars, some Daily Show, CSI, Bones, Warehouse 13,
movies together: Solaris,
Shit I watch alone: I went and saw "Food, Inc.", and was quite disturbed..."Assault in the Ring", Sports Reporters, I finally sampled "Entourage", the "International Sexy Ladies Show" on G4,
Comedians: Mike Young on Live Nude Comedy, Patton Oswalt's "Experience...",
Crappy cable movies: Juno, The Wedding Crashers (From 2005; and just so you know, ALL of you are in BIG trouble for not telling me. My FAVORITE Crumb song, "Celebrity Judges", is IN that movie. Has Crumb music ever been in a movie before? I was impressed.), "What Happens in Vegas", "Lethal Dose", "Good Advice", "Tropic Thunder", "Valentine", "The Deal", "The Girl in the Cafe", "Supergator",
Play it Again's: "Raw Deal", "Loser", Kill Bill Vol. 2, Apocalypse Now,
Watching and Hearing: (sort of), at the bar, with no sound on the tv, I SAW Meatloaf on an A-1 commercial. Is that fucked up or what? Do they play "I Would Do Anything For Love" as background noise? They should...
Hearing: "Deluxe" (Red) Weezer, "Pressure Chief" Cake, my 5 songs per week, Anberlin + Crystal Method (see below),
New on the radio; Modest Mouse?..There's some kind of new Trent Reznor--him, NIN, or something with him singing and mixing. No? It's a song off of Ghosts? Never mind...Have you heard this new Alice in Chains shitball song that sounds like a cassette tape dragging? That fucker gives me a headache; and I used to like A in C...Did I hear some new Collective Soul?..Saturday night (8-22) at midnight, on the non-profit KRVM radio station, "Doc Noc" (Dr. Nocturnal) did a nice tribute show for Drivin' + Cryin'...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Girlfriend went with me (birthday run) to buy me the "New Surrender" Anberlin, and the 2009 Crystal Method "Divided By Light". We also caught some of the local girl band Fancy Bandits performing there...
Out and About: Steeler's Wheels, Journey, Heart and Beatles at Dollar Tree, BTO and Debbie Boone at Albertsons, and tons of Clutch on the new, awesome bar jukebox...
Singing: "Thrash Unreal"--Against Me, "Dreamin'" + "Everybody Get Dangerous"--Weezer, "Higher Ground"--Stevie Wonder/Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Sugarhigh"--Coyote Shivers, "Eyesore"--Fig Dish, "Electric Worry"--Clutch,
What I want today: 2010 Golden Tee golf at my bar--before September (not a chance)...I want a Clutch CD; maybe I should stop drinking my birthday money and go get one...
New stuff this month or so: Milla Jovovich tied the knot with some idiot named Paul Anderson. I wish her well, and I hope he suffers...Our rent goes up in October, and that sucks...4 of the top 13 rated college football teams are in the SEC...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): hand sanitizer, burrito wraps, and other assorted trinkets...
Occupational Hazards: A call-center job prospect? Maybe. Or not. They're still stupid...
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: My bar is trying out all kinds of new beers for me. I've even been getting them cheap!..Cargo shorts and new underwear with birthday money...Tuesday night "Rescue Me" parties at the bar; sweet...Maybe she was just flirting with me, but some cute girl carded me for cigarettes. Seriously; I'm like, 50...My right shoulder; it is beyond explanation of pain now. Aching constantly, I even have dreams with my hurt shoulder. And I was in such a good mood...
(video golf and pinball stuff) -21 on Woodland Farm, -23 on Bonnie Moor. It took almost a month, but now I am grand champ on Pirates pinball at the bar, with my 222 million (the old, imported high score was 201 mil).
New foods this month: Beer is food; "Pollination Honey" by (local) Hop Valley has replaced my Dead Guy Ale...Juice? I drank a half-gallon of Welch's Cherry Blast in 36 hours. Juice is better for you than soda, that's for sure...Continuing; I only went through ONE 2-litre bottle of Dew whilst on my Cherry Blast experiment. Now I have moved up to 100% Cherry juice, and it's tasty, too. Supposedly it will help with my gout, as well...Green beans + garlic from the produce stand...Girlfriend bought a bottle of Yumm Sauce from Cafe Yumm; it's goood...My new home brew is pomegranate-cranberry-green tea...100% Pomegranate juice is excellent, too...Back at the bar, Haymaker pale has replaced the Pollination Honey...Staying at the bar; we also have the new Widmer Brother's "Okto"; yum...
I went out to eat at a local restaurant where they bake their own bread for sandwiches. The $6 sandwich I ate was not a disappointment, but; MY girlfriend makes BETTER bread every Sunday, and I make better sandwiches than the World Cafe (and mine cost much less than $6).
This month of Blues Jamming: 8-6-09; MY Birthday Jam! Imagine this; I got drunk and missed most of it. Ricky + Ralph set 1, Kyle + Ed set 2, then it gets really blurry...8-13-09; I was put on notice to stop bothering women at the bar LAST week, when I got drunk. So I was a good boy this week; I even turned away a few hugs. Ricky + Ralph; J C Rico sang and played harp (nice), Morgan had set 2, Max played, but I forgot with who...8-20-09; K's Birthday Jam! Ri + Ra 1st set (Mark the Harp was on fire!), then A and Birthday Boy set 2 (K sang and played new stuff, "Bad Things", the soundtrack to "True Blood".), Max and Ra set 3, then it gets blurry. One of the best jams ever!..8-27-09; great show outside! Horn Boy was here! Dave + Ra 1st set, Ri and K 2nd, Max and Ra 3rd, 4th set goes to Jimmy James (from Bend) who sings, harps, and plays a mean guitar, with his own drummer Elmer (Ri and Ra were on the side).
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: Oh please. It really IS so much easier to prove Atheism. God could put it all to rest with just a quick visit and some wrath. God is a bit lazy sometimes...
What's different here than in college town: "Oregon - We Love Dreamers." (state slogan?)...Industrial hemp is legalized; who wants to talk business plans?...Some Oregon guy is the world Scrabble champ; yay for him...Congrads to Mike Byrne of Portland; he's the new, 19 yr. old drummer for the Smashing Pumpkins--which would seem to indicate...wait for it...that MORE Smashing Pumpkins music is coming!..We have a schoolteacher, never mind where. She has been teaching grade school as a man for 20 years, and THIS year she is going to teach as a woman--in this new classic 'Nick becomes Nicole' story. I'd like to see this happen in the bible belt...The 2009 Eugene Celebration is called "Strange We Can Believe In"; I like that...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Dumbass? I saw a guy street-signing with this huge cardboard flat that said "30% off everything". This guy was standing on a vacant corner--with no businesses anywhere near him. Wow...In 1971, Oregon was the first state to enact a "bottle bill" law requiring a deposit and refund for returnable drink containers...The city of Lowell gets its water from the contaminated Dexter Lake. (Maybe you should read that sentence a few more times.) Lowell filters "poison" water for its community. Tests determine that the water is safe enough to drink. Sure it is. Welcome to Oregon...
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): Oh bad! We went weeding in the garden, and I oopsidentally ripped out one of our squash plants. I call him "Sasquash". We replanted him; Static Girl says he might be okay. Lesson learned; I will be more careful...Cucumbers! Static Girl used our extra tomato cage to solitarily confine our ONE cucumber plant. It is thriving; with 3 fruits and 12 buds...Hidden in the weeds, girlfriend found another cucumber plant, and a bonus pea vine! Yay!..Cancel that 2nd cucumber; it became a home for Sluggo...We are officially on notice! They told us we have 10 days to clear out the weeds that are over 19 inches, OR ELSE!..We survived! They took our 'pending' sign down, so we still have a garden!..On a sad note; it looks like I killed Sasquash. I am sad. Luckily, a few feet away, the mirrored butternut squash plant is thriving!
Life with Static Girl: I dragged her, against her will, to the (R Harvest) produce stand. But she wound up liking it, and having a pretty good time. Yay...Sometimes I will ask her 'Do you care if I go and do..?' But her permanent answer is always 'I don't care what you do.'. MY girlfriend is amazing!..Oooo! Last month, I talked to tv and phone people, and got both bills lowered. Her way of thanking me was to quietly pay both bills. But wait a minute; because that's a split-infinitive wrapped around an adverb. "Her way of thanking me was to pay both bills, quietly."...About! She calls the "Info" button on our remote the "About" button. I was confused, but it's okay now...Crochet Girlfriend! She made some gorgeous hair scrunchie things that I look forward to analyzing...I try to tell her this, but the words don't quite get there. Being with her, and not having to worry about ANY aspect of our relationship, allows my mind infinitely more freedom. I am currently wasting most of this freedom, yes, so she is the better example. She writes, draws, reads, gardens, crochets; being with me allows HER to be the Ultimate Static Girl...I found my REM shirt, finally! SHE is wearing it (Remember a few months ago, when I found my Sister Machine Gun shirt the same way?). Also; she has been stealng my socks; you just can't trust Static Girl...She sent a HUGE box of crocheted stuff to the Peaceful Prairie Sanctuary; dog blankets, cat nappers, etc. I told her 'They're gonna love you.', and she said 'They already do.'...My gilrfriend; the awesome, dark-haired, ninja, stealth, alien goddess that she is, has NEVER seen one episode of Schoolhouse Rock. No 'I'm Just a Bill', no 'Conjunction Junction', no Lolly, no Adjectives, no multiplication tables; nothing. What an unfortunate missed opportunity. No wonder she hates television; I still understand its incredible educational potential...
My FCP has this for me: I called her and told her I'd like to "tuck her in" bed, and she eagerly agreed...She encourages me to keep with my old personality, and I need that...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: A "Pneumonic Plague" outbreak in China? Quarantines? Nice...Breaking News: Federal Deficit Tops $1.27 Trillion, a New Record (with 2 months left)...The "War on Terror" is over; did you hear? (I learned on Real Time w/Bill Maher)...Reader's Digest files bankruptcy...There are currently 27 million slaves in the world?..General Motors is about to invest $300 million in Japan...
A thought to take with you: A Real, Live thought for you--Big Agiculture feeds us poisonous food, on purpose, to make us sick--and keep us sick. Then Big Pharma sells us expensive pills for our sicknesses, but we have to keep popping their pills to not get sick (so they say), and then we'll need after-care. Those 2 "Bigs" work hand-in-hand to keep Americans sickly and poor. Got it? There will be NO health care reform. You heard it here first.
(printed on the shirt of the guitarist onstage;) "I've got the biggest dick in the band."
"Stop. Breathe. Allow yourself the luxury of doing nothing for a moment, or an hour, or even a day. It is in emptiness that inspiration will appear."--Carole Katchen (another quote stolen from my girlfriend's website)
"If you are what you eat, then our population is nothing but sick cattle who can barely stand."--a good blog response at Altrernet to a fast-food article
Band names: "Cherry Tomato" (FCP), "Fuzzy Little Cucumber", "Bloody Earplugs", "Homegrown Garlic",
"Sky Cake"--Patton Oswalt
(...last month we were...)
Reading: I like to read the self-descriptions of the lovely single women available on different dating sites. Even with the incredibly rare good grammar, women are still hilarious...
Watching: What? Don't I watch enough shit?
Class Projects: Warehouse 13 (our new, awesome show together) on SyFy had a first season 'catch-up marathon', and I recorded all of them for us!..Big Ideas for a Small Planet, Criminal Minds, Bones, Dollhouse, House...
movies together: no movies this month
Shit I watch alone: A free preview of the VS. channel; so that's (2 more) Indy Car races, Sports Soup, and Whacked Out Sports; sweet...Ooo; I finally finished the first season of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"--that's a funny show (and I'm in for the new season)...On OPB, I watched Peggy Cappy's newest show about yoga for back pain...The new "Community" show with Joel Mchale and Chevy Chase is good, VH-1's "Behind the Music" of Pink,
Comedians: the Roast of Bob Saget, Kevin Nealon's "Hear Me Out", Bill Maher's "Victory Begins at Home",
Crappy cable movies: "The Dark Knight", "Fear", "Lost and Delirious" (topless Piper Perabo), "Be Kind Rewind", "Get Smart", "Unknown", "Spiral" (the best no-star movie ever), "Alpha Dog", "The Bourne Ultimatum", "The Alphabet Killer",
Rentals! "BTK" (crap), "Grandma's Boy" (decent), and "I Love You Man" (okay, and it has a Rush soundtrack)
Play it Again's: "The Accused", "Tin Cup", "Tommy", "Little Fish",
Watching and Hearing: Alan Arkin and Henry Rollins are on "Sons of Anarchy" this season...I saw Paramore perform on Conan--Static Girl might like them...I'll say it again next month; on 10-22-09, the Jeff Dunham show comes to Comedy Central...
Hearing: I went crazy with my old, nearby Georgia, "No Boundaries" music crate; Cornbread, Magnapop, Engine, Hollow Creek, 5 Five Eight CD's (And aren't they due for a new one, too?), Hazel Virtue, Joey Stuckey, Dag, Crooked Smile, Portable Freakshow, Deacon Brody,
New on the radio; WTF? I'm going to participate in an Aribitron Ratings week on 9-17-09. They might even ask for my comments about corporate radio; ha. No; at the last second, they smartly reconsidered...New Breaking Benjamins sounds like Ozzy's Perry Mason, new Cage the Elephant sounds like White Stripes, did I bitch about the new Alice in Chains sounding like a cassette tape dragging? Yes? Good...New Mark Knopfler, Muse, and Megadeth, too. New Pearl Jam? Really?..Doc Noc did an awesome live Deep Purple show, music from 6 different concerts (9-20-09)...There is hype about the new Slayer, too...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Five Eight's "The Good Nurse", and another copy of Fig Dish' "That's What Love Songs Often Do"; poker winnings got me Clutch's "From Beale St. To Oblivion"
Out and About: Blind Melon and Gin Blossoms at Fred Meyer, Starship at Albertson's, Phil Collins at Fred Meyer; Elton, Prince, Dido and Rick Springfield at Long John Silvers...
Singing: "Sick of Myself" + "Girlfriend"--Matthew Sweet, The original theme from "Weeds" ('Boxes, little boxes, and they all look just the same'...shit, now it's in my head again.), "Pepper"--Butthole Surfers, "Aloha"--Caviar,
What I want today: That Russian gymnast/contortionist "Slata"...
New stuff this month or so: We became members of the Oregon-based "Bi-Mart" stores; yay us...Gold is up to almost $1000 an ounce. I told people to buy it when it was under $400. Hey; people are stupid...Watch as corporations lie, cheat, and ruin these 3 pretty words; "local", "organic", and "green"...This month, what month? Fred Reed is back doing commentaries at the FOE website. Yay...Does the world really need the 6th "Saw" movie in October of '09?..
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Big run at Dollar Tree with poker winnings; soy sauce, bbq sauce, mustard, pasta, lighters, floss; a calender and bungee cords for my baby
Occupational Hazards: There may be a new unemployment extension for me in October; yay.
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: Listen to, and LOVE Five Eight, my favorite band from Athens, GA. I'm a-gonna try to add thems to my MySpace...My Sunday poker games have a point system now, and (since the season of "Rescue Me" is over) I'm going to start running poker games on Tuesday nights, too (9-8-09 was the first one). Then I went and picked up the new poker table for the bar...Musician Shawn Smith (Brad, Satchel, solo, more) added me on MySpace. I wonder if he remembers getting high with me in the parking lot before I interviewed him...My right shoulder pain lessens as new pain in right elbow takes center stage. Back pain? Take a number, and form a straight line...Over there in MySpace-land, I got a note that says one of my "friends" loves me. I happen to know that it's much more than just one...Now FaceBook wants me to join, too; how many of these b.s. little clubs do I have to join?..I had a night of cash game poker with 10 boats, a 4 of a kind, and more; I was unstoppable...
Pinball and Golden Tee golf news; (GT) 55,059 Greatest shot points in one game, and my new eagle record for a single game is 9 (old record was 7); -23 best round (again) this month on GT; my handicap was at +20. 206 mil on Pirates pinball (new #2 score). (Rye is now my pinball student.)
New foods this month: I tried some excellent vegetarian curry from a great local restaurant (Sweet Basil)...An authentic Phillly cheese steak made by DJ Barkeep...Some Cajun stew from the bar...I was given free squash; so I rolled it in balsamic vinagrette and crushed Triscuits, then fried it. Yum. Then came the corn meal roll; yum!..Fish tacos at the bar!..LJS coupons, and we tried the new Big Carl...
This month of Blues Jamming: 9-3-09; outside, and it's getting colder. Standard kill first set with Ri and Ra (Mark the harp on fire again), set 2 was K, Morgan, and Matt S. harping and singing, set 3 was A + Dave P with Matt drumming, set 4 was Max and Joseph. Wow. Then I got beat up by a girl, and drove home. Don't ask...9-10-09, outside again. Ri and Ra 1st set (Mark the Harp hot once again) Morgan + K 2nd--with J C Rico helping out. 3rd set Ri and Ra again--with more J C. 4th set had Max ripping it up...9-17-09; last outside jam of the year, according to JP. Set 1, standard, Ri + Ra, Mark, Z-Bass, JP, and Lenny drumming, set 2 K, Ed, Mark, Z-Bass, JP and Lenny, set 3 A + Matt, Ra, Russ bass, JD drums, set 4 A, Ra, Z-Bass. I got hammered and cabbed home. Maybe I stole an apron; shhh...9-24-09, outside again; 3 R's on guitar, but not in regular order: Ra + Jimmy Blue Shades first, then K and Ro, then Max + Ro, then Ri and Ra to end the night. Poker inside; I lost big...
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: Key word; "critical". Okay? Just so we're clear--God may be so, but his image is not perfect. Take some of those stupid Catholic doctrines, like 'go forth and multiply'. THEY say that God said that. He did not. That's complete bullshit. God would say 'be smart in your multiplication', and 'don't over-do it', perhaps even 'use some damn common sense, you fuckrag'. Those shit-for-brains Catholoholics really piss me off. God would have sold birth control door-to-door to those lemonheads. I'll stop now.
What's different here than in college town: This started last month; everyday there are multiple military helicopters flying around, low. WTF are they actually doing, and why does it take a set of 3 big helichoppers to do it?..Here's a good one; we live in the U. of O. city (Ducks), not the O. State city (Beavers). However, at the grocery stores here you can buy locally made Beaver or Duck ice cream, with the team colors and helmets on the cartons. See? Back in Athens you can't buy no dumbass Yellow Jacket ice cream...Staying with football; our Duck coach Chip Kelly sent a fan a refund of his tickets after the fan wrote an angry letter to the coach about our lousy performance in the first game (that's kind of classy)...One more on football; before the UGA/LSU game on 10-3-09, 3 of the top 4 rated teams in football are SEC teams (FLA, ALA, LSU)...Have you heard about the giant squid washing up on the Oregon coast? They're called "Humboldt" squid, usually from way deep water, and dozens are "beaching" themselves to death. Weird...Oregon still has the 5th highest-priced gasoline in the nation...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: I have a good one for ya. Not here, exactly, but from up in Washington State. A crimninally insane, multiply convicted murderer (Phillip Arnold Paul) with a history of escape attempts went on a scheduled outing to a Washington county fair. At the fair he...wait for it...escaped from custody! He was recaptured later--thank goodness. But this "field trip" would not have happened at/from the Tent City prison in Arizona...Worm farms! Ain't no vermicomposting going on in AZ; but many public places here in Oregon are now utilizing worms for most trash consumption...In AZ, legally you can take guns into bars now. Will that help or hinder?..
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): More cucumbers! And all 4 us in the house LOVE cucumbers!..The Asian Balsam got too big for its trunk, and fell over. Snap. Dead. Gone. Oh well...2 new baby cucumbers on the big cucumber plant, and my tiny tomatoes are yummy!..Make that THREE tiny new cucumbers on the vine!..I sing 'Water dead tomatoes with my girlfriend' when we're at the garden together...Her Cosmos are gorgeous...
Life with Static Girl: Sometimes her shrugs might mean she is apathetic; other times she's just being flexible. You idiots wouldn't understand, and that's fine with us...I'm going to start calling her "Crochet", because she's getting really good at it...Static Girl left me half of a vegan cupcake to eat. Nice. She's MY little vegan cupcake...We need more Yumm sauce! And that's not a metaphor; we need to go back to Cafe Yum! Okay, we went. And after waiting 25 minutes for food (with no apology), I almost threw a fit--but my girlfriend told me to calm down...Driving! I do most of the driving and pretty much all the talking in our relationship. Turns out that she has not bought gasoline in 7 months. Wow...On a Sunday morning, she woke up early and cleaned her garden room, did laundry, and made bread. I woke up late, and watched football in my underwear...Guinea Piglets! Boo likes zucchini; call her "Boochini"! Twitch got sick on 9-21, and won't eat anything. Get well Twitch! Nope. Twitch passed away on 9-22. I am sad...I got some bills lowered again. Then girlfriend paid those bills before I could get checks written--she's a pretty good roommate...Gilfriend organized our class (and supplies) for worm-farming years ago; the world will slowly catch up...
My FCP has this for me: She suggested that I moderately exercise my hurt shoulder, and wow! It does feel a bit better. She's smart!..She disappeared for a couple of weeks, and it is raining down there, but I know she's okay...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Japan's new First Lady claims to have ridden in a UFO..."WHO Admits to Releasing Pandemic Virus into Population via 'Mock-Up' Vaccines" (front page of WRH on 9-3-09)...960 Blockbuster stores are closing--and I have a gift card to use!..
A thought to take with you: Hang on; Obama's new Surgeon General is the (plump, not healthy) Regina Benchmark, former nutritional analyst/advisor for Burger King? From Burger King to Surgeon General? Seriously? Okay then; Obama is showing his Black half now, and his White half should be very ashamed.
"We have no aristocracy and no high style of living. Still we enjoy life as well as those who roll in luxuries."--Eugene Franklin Skinner, in an 1860 letter to one of his sisters back east. Skinner's 200th birthday was in September, 2009.
Band names: Vegan Cupcake,
"Gooerator" (Warehouse 13),
(...last month we were...)
Reading: Think you can live without money? This guy can: http://www.zerocurrency.blogspot.com/
I read somewhere that Claudia Schiffer, 39, is going to pose nude. Good for her!..Thank God/Darwin/Aliens for the FOE website! He is more entertaining than ever!..
Watching: The UFL? It started on 10-8-09. It's on the VS. channel, which I get for 1 more month (Dish network has VS., but Directv doesn't). It looks like real football, sort of...What's this "Secret Girlfriend" thing on Comedy Central?..NCIS is tv's #1 show? How come I've never heard of it?..Comedy.tv is a show that has some decent comedians...I saw it! On 10-10-09, the first Indy car race in history with zero cautions (Homestead)! Average speed; 202 mph!..
Class Projects: House, Dollhouse, Bones, Criminal Minds,
movies together: Bram Stoker's "Dracula"
Shit I watch alone: Web Soup--and Chris Hardwick did a full show in a Young Ones t-shirt (nice), "The Crumbling of America" on History--very scary stuff, UFO Hunters is back, Secret Girlfriend, I'll check out The League (not bad), Community is funny
Shit I WILL watch alone: Previews for "Wrong Turn 3; Left For Dead" look good. It's too dumb for theaters--so I should like it. So I went and rented Wrong Turn 1 + 2; 1 was weak. 2 was marginallly better. Rented "Religulous" (very good), "Pineapple Express" (pathetic), and "Wrong Turn 3" together (and got free candy, corn, and Cokes from Blockbuster). WT3 tried so hard to be a better-than-B movie, but it fell short. It did have a few good moments, though...I also rented Halloween flicks "Murder Party" and the 2006 remake of "The Wizard of Gore" w/Crispin Glover
Comedians: Paula Poundstone: 'Cats, Candy and Stuff'...George Carlin's "It's Bad For Ya"...
Crappy cable movies: "The Brave One", "Charlie Wilson's War", "Children of Men", "Kemper: The Co-ed Killer", "Magma: Volcanic Disaster", "But I'm A Cheerleader", "The Hulk",
Play it Again's: "Baseketball", "Tucker; The Man and His Dream", "3000 Miles to Graceland", "Ted Bundy",
Watching and Hearing: Lady Gaga on SNL; Shakira, too. Those "dress rehearsals" on SNL are hilarious...I only have to watch 1 second, or maybe 2, of commercials before I blast the DVR forward 30 seconds--it makes this shit really tough: BOC and The Church have been redone by female singers for car commercials, and some real Yes was in the back of a Chase commercial.
Hearing: 3 Clutch CD's now, and trying for 4! Polvo's "Cor-Crane Secret",
New on the radio; Better Than Ezra? And how old is that new Weezer tune? Is that, YES!--new Flaming Lips!!!
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Yes; with poker winnings, the new Clutch CD "Strange Cousins From the West" (and I'm one purchase away from another free CD; cool).
Out and About: Dave Matthews at Albertsons, Michael McDonald at Carl's Jr, Beatles at Dollar Tree, and I shit you not--Siouxsie and the Banshees at Big 5: "Kiss Them For Me", then Peter Frampton at Albertsons; DJ Barkeep turned me on to (Chapel Hill's?) Polvo, and In Flames at the bar
Singing: I sing way too much stuff to list it here.
What I want today: I am tired of dicking around with this issue--I want a medical marijuana card...I would like a swimsuit poster (or tasteful nude) of Czech hottie model Ariel Piperawn...Yes; Ariel Piperfawn, and a pot card (I can dream)...
New stuff this month or so: In 3 days of October it went from summer time, to mid-day hail...Some friends are still bugging me about joining Facebook. Didn't Facebook just have the poll about 'Should Obama be killed?'? Uh-huh; so, no--I don't think I'll be joining Facebook. Thanks, though...One of my poker players named the 'cash game' of poker (that can be played after a person is eliminated from the tournament) the "loser's bracket"...A broke bartender offered pot to a pot dealer in exchange for a drink. Confused? So was I...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Antacids, and tons of Halloween candy,
Occupational Hazards: Unemployed, and eating ramen noodles; sick, slurpin' soup.
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: My bike, Z-Bass' old bike, has a suspension squeak. It sounds like the old theme to American Bandstand. Never mind...10-4; I won my own poker game, and later scored another 200+ mil game of Pirates pinball. So now I have all 5 high scores on the machine--as I should...10-5, I got coughy, sniffly sick. This sucks...Continuing with the sickness; so I (smartly) skipped house-cleaning for 1 week. Boo. But; our house is still amazingly not very dirty. We are cool...Another ball! It's a smaller exercise ball; it targets specific muscles better, maybe...I'm still waiting on MySpace friend approval from the Athens band Five Eight...I have a new awesome computer; details next month...New pinball challenger Bob has a 370 mil game of Pirates...10-18; still sick. I shiver, and then freak sweat. Maybe I have the H1N1-birdie-swine-flu! Kiss me!..10-20; finally over being sick. Let's go get drunk!..
Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: Golden Tee 2010 came on 9-30-09 (my first 2 games were -14, my best new score is -17). 491 mil on Pirates pinball (woo), and we may get an old Theatre of Magic pinball machine next; cool...On 10-29, I was the 2nd person in the bar to get a hole-in-one on the new 9-hole CTTP challenge; I won $12.50.
New foods this month: I made kitchen sink goulash...The Halls Defense lozenges are excellent...I have made soups; one avocado, one boring, one with tatertots. I like soup. My bar owner makes all of the soups in her bar; I may learn some stuff from her...Carrot crazy! I bought pounds of them; so we're cooking them all up...More fried ghoulash!..Oregon Jewel Wild Rice! Details later...
This month of Blues Jamming: 10-1-09; inside and sweet. Ri and Ra 1st, K and Chad 2nd, Max and Ra 3rd, drunk 4th set?..Bonus Jam! 10-2, Friday, Tony Rae + Common Ground at the Overtime. An amazing show, they keep getting better! Originals, and jazzy/latin versions of Santana, Bill Withers, and other radio songs. Incredible music inside; while DJ barkeep had his birthday party, beer pong, and a poker game outside...10-8; I called in sick--booo...10-15-09; very few people. Standard jam with only one surprise--Horn Boy. And I was still sick. So I got way drunk, cabbed home, and slept for 2 days...10-22; inside jam, but I got trapped into playing poker outside, and missed set 2 with Chad + K, set 3 w/Max, and set 4 with Ri. Shit. Rode home with complete strangers--glad they didn't harvest my organs...10-29; very good. Ra and Dave P 1st, K and Ra 2nd, Jimmy and Ro 3rd, then Chad and Max closed down the night brilliantly! I stayed amazingly coherent...10-30; Bonus Halloween Jam! (At the bar) dubious opened up for Milepost 5, with a costume contest and all. dubious rocked like they always do, it was MP5's first gig ever, and it was a pretty good night overall.
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: I just don't totally buy the whole "chance" thing of Darwinism. There had to be a "playfield", okay? There had to be an index of some limitations, some rules, some uniformity between dark and light. Fucking "chance" did not become either a tall, upright human, OR a skinny short "graylien". There was an outline--possibly from some previous attempt. There had to be a "template" to build from. And there are many different forms of evolution, Darwinian, but they all had a specific beginning that was NOT just a single cell in search of mutation. Thank you.
What's different here than in college town: Oregon women? A 30 yr. old woman tried to rob a Wells Fargo bank near here in Hillsboro. The stick-up note was written so poorly that the teller couldn't understand it, and had to call the bank manager over. Ooops...Hey! I got invited to go do a 'walk to prevent suicide'. Ha. I have jokes to go out in 3 directions. Here we go: How does one raise enough money to prevent a CHOICE? Will I be walking with other failed suicide-attempters--like myself? And; 'prevent'? Fuck. I thought this was a walk to PROMOTE suicide...We have a case of meningitis at our big school; some germ-a-phobe students are wearing masks (now THERE'S a Halloween costume)...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Poor Phoenix is almost on fire right now...Close to here, in Cottage Grove, there was a convenience store selling pot for food stamps--and I missed it!..
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): I haven't been in weeks. I've been sick, and groggy, and hungover. Mainly hungover.
Life with Static Girl: Very quiet for the first week of the month...On 10-9-09, we went computer shopping for her! I did extremely well in offering her options, and she acknowledged this by saying 'Thank you for being my boyfriend.' We got her a great new Compaq computer! More later...Yes! Next day, we went back to the same store, and got the little brother of her new Compaq computer--for me!..Along with getting me a new computer (while I was sick, no less), she continues to be an excellent influence on me. I didn't go "out" for 4 nights straight!..She says that in order to sneeze, you can just "imagine" a bright light. WRONG!..She complains that my coughing wakes her up. Really? MY coughing wakes DEAD people up...
My FCP has this for me: She's back, and more gooder than ever. Let's see; I am the silly putty that she throws up against her prison walls...I am a daily erupting glacieric volcano; sure I am...She can be the trampoline that I bounce on for inspiration...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Roger Penske tried to give the Saturn auto company an overhaul, but he could not make it work; the Saturn brand will die now...Cooked books? Just wait until you sheeple find out that our government has been directly lying to us about this "recession" we're in. Real unemployment numbers are closer to 20%; this "depression" is here to stay. The US is pretty much a failed state...All 21 million Hotmail users urged to change passwords after huge security breach...10,000 apply for 90 factory jobs in Kentucky...How does a country leader, already in 2 wars--and trying for a 3rd, get a Nobel Peace Prize? (I couldn't make this shit up--it's too funny)..."Ending death penalty could save US millions: study" (more hilarity from Yahoo news)...Supposedly the government raids on legal medical marijuana growers/users are over (yay)...A new Gallup poll shows that 44% of Americans favor legalization of pot.
A thought to take with you: From me; what if the new conclusion is that "paper money" is the spread of swine flu, and our government (already in a state of national emergency) decides to destroy our money 'for our own good'. Ha. I love this shit.
"You cannot work for both Reality and imagination."--Suelo
"History is fables agreed upon."-- Francois Voltaire
Band names: "Fried Ghoulash", "Loser's Bracket", "Pepper Spray", "Tube of Mud",
"Swoosh-Kerpows" (Fred Reed), "Item 9"--Pineapple Express, "Hambi" and "Stew the Rabbit" ("Get Fuzzy"'s Bucky Katt), "Bathtub Full of Meth"--Web Soup,
(...last month we were...)
Reading: the local newspaper, new computer instructions
Watching: Scrubs is all over; boo. I recorded the last 2 shows back in May. And now...wait for it...Scrubs is coming back in December? Sweet!..I watched the Abu Dhabi Gran Prix on VS. What a racetrack!..
Class Projects: Criminal Minds, Art Beats/Field Guides, House, Bones,
movies together: Big Trouble in Litlle China,
Shit I watch alone: "Assume the Position" w/Robert Wuhl, The Soup, Web Soup, Sports Soup, Tosh.0. Comedic update! My favorite show, "Free Radio", is appearing on Comedy Central now. Yay...
Comedians: Dennis Miller's "All In", Bill Engvall's "Aged and Confused",
Crappy cable movies: Swimfan, Little Black Book (Brittany Murphy--yum!), Good Dick, War, Inc., Open Water 2; Adrift, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Moving McAllister, Just My Luck,
Play it Again's: Swordfish, Groundhog day, Crash, Dahmer, Swingers,
Watching and Hearing: Have you heard Clutch's "Electric Worry" in the back of that new video game "Left For Dead 2" commercial?..Taylor Swift, again, on SNL (she is smokin' hot, super-talented, and very sweet)...Hockey music was in an episode of Free Radio; cool...
Hearing: My 4th Clutch CD is "Elephant Riders", and the Hockey CD, Crumb, Crystal Method, 80's music, Cake, James, "Crow" soundtracks,
New on the radio; Papa Roach?,
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: My newest full stamp card got me the 2002 Boxcar Racer CD that sounds like Blink 182...(new and full-priced) up and coming band from Portland, Hockey's first release "Mind Chaos"...
Out and About: Boxcar Racer at the bar; you see what that led to. Madonna and Phil Collins at Big 5, then more Madonna at CDWorld while ordering Christmas stuff and picking up the Hockey CD...
Singing: Crumb, lots of Blink 182, the Who, Taking Back Sunday,
What I want today: Here's a real one, sort of. 4 girl combos. I'll explain: Let's take Brittany Murphy, Taylor Swift, Static Girl, and my FCP (my mouth is already watering). With the originals intact, we create a harmless hybrid of all 4 girls into one mold (drooool), and sell the clones on E-Bay. I'll be one rich pimp, mutherfucker...
New stuff this month or so: I don't know/care why Harry Potter is so popular, but it/he/they is/are. Stories, with plots; books and movies. Sure. Have fun with that--at least it's not evil, stupid, or just fucking DUMB! BUT; this 'a few months old' trend of the new vampires; True Blood, Twilight, etc. These pasty white skeletons of hollowed out, empty people; all wearing more make-up than clothing--I just don't get it. Are these pale poles attractive? Are current tv gazers really THAT "hungry" for an escape from this world? How? Why? Seriously? I must stand and declare: What The Fuck?..The Salvation Army donation kettles will also have credit card swipes this year...OMG with the global warming hoax already. Sea level has risen/glaciers are melting, and the ozone is "fading". Call it wtf you want, but humans are contaminating the planet and atmosphere; period...World's strongest beer with 32% alcoholic strength: "Tactical Nuclear Penguin", by (Scottish) BrewDog of Fraserburgh. (let's do shots)...In Southfieled Michigan, the “Med Grow Cannabis College” waits for me...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Thermal socks, with UGA red + black stripes, at Dollar Tree!..
Occupational Hazards: Yeah. My new attitude is that the government is paying me to NOT work; like the way the governemnt pays farmers to NOT grow certain crops. See? I'm not growing any "crops" (yet)...Change gears, and get ready for it; TWO unemployment extensions! Yay me.
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: (The early Christmas present from my awesome girlfriend:) My new computer is a Compaq Presario CQ5110F with 3GB memory, and a 320GB hard drive. It even has a 1-yr. warranty (it's nice)...11-3-09 was my 27th anniversary of dying in a car wreck...11-5-09: Losing my shit, I am. I forgot to record a bank deposit, so I panicked and thought checks were going to bounce. Then, on laundry day; I was looking right at a shirt that was on top of a stack of clothes, but I couldn't see it, and started tearing up shit, looking for it in other places. Later, I came back to find it on top of that stack. I asked 'Have you been there the whole time?'...11-9; the power supply in my old computer died. Luckily, I already have this new computer waiting for me...Friday the 13th, I made yummy vegan pizza...Do you like the idea of marriage? My friend Hunter Dave was married for 22 years. This month (11-09) his wife, from out of nowhere, just up and left him. He'll be okay--I'll coach him on how to treat his new bitches. But this is just to show that women are still nothing more than the loopy, pretzel-headed door hinges I've always said they are. Thank you...First 3 CD's played in new computer: Offspring's "Rise...", Angels + Airwaves "I Empire", and new Crystal Method...I couldn't get my new computer to restart, so I explained to her, and gave her a play-by-play, of my scatterbrain. It's a combination of pathetic and hilarious; she was very entertained...Random poetic theme: Desperation in a desperate nation...We dumped our movie channels; possibly getting ready to go back to cable/internet for our new computers.
Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: Personally, I have very little competetion. I am actually having more fun with my new PS2 "Pinball Hall of Fame - The Williams Collection" game. Metaphorplay; I like playing pinball on the tv--I could sustain myself while masturbating like this, but sometimes it's better to have your (dick in/legs around) a real pinball machine. Did I paint the picture?..The Spiderman pinball that was at a 3rd bar is now at the Jackalope (my 2nd bar). Yay. My low 400 million game is gone, but I'll get it back!..(Golden Tee) Scored a -19 on 2010's Great Wall; 315 mil on Spiderman pinball...
New foods this month: new preparation--I used 2 full serrano peppers on a pile of nachos. 2. They were truly 'crying nachos'. Um, 2 days later I did it again; I call them "cluster fuck nachos". And again and again. Drunk cluster fuck nachos; breakfast, too...Oopsidentally, we found the new 'sausage crumbles'. They're too spicy for my girl, but they work fine on cluster fuck nachos...Fried brown rice with orange and garlic (nice)...At different moments, she and I both came up with "sweet potatos" to try. They are excellent!..I also picked up some frozen okra to broil (fart city)...Avocado spaghetti tasted great, but left bad heartburn...Fried avocado rice is excellent.
This month of Blues Jamming: 11-5; Dave P + Ri 1st, K alone 2nd, then I was drunk. I think I dumped a 20 in the band's tip jar. Nice, but I can't afford that shit...11-12; a different blues jam in town got cancelled--so we had extra people! MT ran the first set, with Ri + Ra on guitar. 2nd set had K and a guy on slide guitar, 3rd set had MT with Jimmy and Ro guitaring, and Russ on bass...11-19; great music, and then I got caught up in some dumbass drama. Whatever. We'll see how it all plays out...11-26; Happy Thanksgiving to/from me, at the bar. Great food, and the green bean thing was vegetrarian. How many of you got to play Golden Tee and pinball on Turkey day?..
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God, okay? I believe in God. But; as far as a collection of linked historical similes that dive toward a common deduction and singular religious platform--no. Screw that. I don't believe in religion. I believe in a God with many "sons"; just as I believe in a universe with many "suns" (galaxies). You crazy church-people all need a crash course in common sense, simplification, and spatial probability. And somebody had to say that, by the way...
What's different here than in college town: Oregon is the 5th most financially troubled state in the America...On 11-14, there were 5 SEC football games on our Dish. 5. Wow. We even have a Dish channel, maybe a CBS thing, that does a show called "SEC Weekly". I never saw THAT in Georgia...Up here; Bill Maher came to perform. The cheapest seats were $40. CHEAPEST! Sorry Bill; but, kiss my unemployed ass...Speaking of expensive seats, the Oregon civil war (OSU at Oregon; 12-3-09) football game tickets here are up to $400 a pop; stay tuned...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Some guy working at the (Phoenix) Sky Harbor airport stole over 1000 suitcases in about a year (I want an airport job)...Here in my other college town we have homeless people on EVERY corner. It gets old...On 11-23, as I went walking; 2 deer came within 30 feet of me. One of them came within 10 feet--it was almost the Twilight Zone right here in my apartment parking lot. Cool...Oregon has the first recorded cases of the new swine flu in animals. Seriously; we had the first cat, and first ferret to die from it--check the facts...Similar! I remember one day back in late 2004, in Phoenix, when the whole city was told NOT to drink the water. Right before Thanksgiving 2009, the people in Portland were told to boil their water before using it. Unfortunately, both scares turned out to be relatively harmless.
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): We must get it winterized by 11-15-09. Sure. Define "winterized". It looks pretty damn dead in there.
Life with Static Girl: She's an octopus, you know? She's got hobbies, crafts, art, photography, multiple computers; it makes me tired just thinking about it all...She said it; she appreciates having dinner made when she gets home! Yay. She likes me!..So we're watching this show "Criminal Minds" together; this girl asks a guy for some relationship advice, and the guy gives his opinion (bad idea). The girl launches into a crazy female tirade--it's not even clear what she's upset about--she's just spewing venom. And I start to giggle, because every guy in the world has seen some form of this same silly crap in most common females somewhere along the line. So; I'm entertained. I look over at my Static Girlfriend, and she is completely confused. Seriously; she does not understand. And I say 'Baby, you don't get this because YOU don't freak out, for no reason, in the middle of a nothing conversation. Regular women do this junk all the time, but not you.' MY Static Girl...It's not weird, it's just her: my girlfriend will only purchase "new" books--because books are made of organic matter. However, she will purchase used CD's. Me? I like inexpensivity. But given the preference--I would much rather buy new Cd's. Maybe I'M the weird one...Reading? It's not that weird. She reads books; I read newspapers, magazine articles, and tons of editorials. Yeah; I read the WHOLE paper--she just reads the comics. But then, she DOES read all of her art magazines. It all works out...On "Bones", one of our tv shows, the Dr. girl is trying to sharpen her entertainment value/comedic timing. Her new line is "I'm becoming quite amusing.", and I'm going to teach Static Girl to say that after she inserts some entertainment value into something...Upstairs/Downstairs. After she goes to bed, she is done with the downstairs completely. She might slip into the bathroom for a minute, but then it's (Ninja Whoosh/Don't Blink Or You'll Miss It) and she's right back to bed. She doesn't get hungry or thirsty; she doesn't wake up needing to see a movie scene, or needing to hear song lyrics, or have to go check and see if aliens have landed in the parking lot--nothing. As you may be aware; I LOOK for reasons to wander around and talk to myself. I'll wander around the neighborhood in my underwear at 3 am for no good reason; I've done it. I'm kooky like that; she is not. When it comes to sleep, she is all business...All in one week; one week of some intense emotional outbursting from both of us, she left me both the sourest note ever (with cuss words even), and later, the sweetest note ever. And I'm not putting this ON her, okay? It was ALL me. I deserved both of those notes. And, she'll back me up on this, okay? Because I'm a damn good roommate, yes, but I am NOT the easiest person to live with...She said she couldn't hook up my old mouse to the new computer until I cleaned it thoroughly. I said that it wasn't dirty. Then I looked at it, and it's disgusting. I accused her of attaching it to her car bumper and driving through a soot lot. She sabotaged it--I'm just saying...I said something less than brilliant to her (gee, imagine), and she replied with "If you say so.". But that's MY line for dumb people, and I told her she was NOT allowed to use it ON me...For Thanksgiving, we did nothing. In fact--I left her, and went to the bar. And she was fine with that. Go me...My girlfriend; sometimes she is my Clif bar or tater tot, other times she's my avocado. But usually she's dark and dreary, like a chilly overcast (read: gorgeous) day. MY girlfriend is like the weather in Oregon. Yum...
My FCP has this for me: I LOVE my FCP. She and I agree on God, but we agree to disagree on religion. I appreciate her tolerance...My long-distance girlfriend has joined MY ranks of the unemployed now. I wish her well, and wish she'd come and visit Oregon!..Poetic theme for her: "I want to have a happy ending with you". Oops to Fountains of Wayne...I want to do "mutual masochism" on her. She understands...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: 36 million Americans on food stamps? Is that all? Maybe I should "Acorn" that (make up some fake names and add to the total)...The government is shutting down an investigation into the Blackwater trials, and not even giving a reason. Ha...
A thought to take with you: "...When you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice--you may know that your society is doomed."--Ayn Rand
Real Oregon Bumper Sticker: "This Is Not My Boyfriend's Pick-Up Truck!"
Band names: (my idea for a Girl band) "Estrogenerals", "New Organic Matter"--Static Girl, "Mutual Masochism"--FCP, "Fried Brown Rice",
(Real Oregon band) "Hockey", "Multimatum" (Get Fuzzy's "Satchel"), "Tepid Gruel"--Garrison Kellor, "Weird Cake Sex"--Bones, "Lee Roy Jenkins!"--You Tube,
(...last month we were...)
Reading: The local newspaper, and the Eugene weekly. I finished George Carlin's "Brain Droppings", and will finish my Jose Silva book by January 7th...
Watching: We get HBO and Showtime free for 3 more months; woo.
Class Projects: "Criminal Minds" (she says it's getting too predictable though), Dr. Who,
movies together: we rented both "Star Trek" and "Terminator Salvation".
Shit I watch alone: Whacked Out Sports on VS.--and then my "sample" of the VS. channel ended...It's really good; "Conspiracy Theory with Jessie Ventura". I am impressed...My MoM said to try "Burn Notice".
Comedians: Robin Williams' new one...Kathy Griffin "Balls of Steel"...Jeff Dunham used my idea for the bar name "Rehab". So my new idea for a bar name is "Dollar Store"...
Crappy cable movies: 10 MPH, Manic, Dallas 362, Last Days, Flannel Pajamas, Secretary, Naked in New York, Spiderman 3, Live Free or Die Hard, Dead Air,
I rented "Drag Me To Hell" (barely watchable),
Play it Again's: no recycling this month.
Watching and Hearing: FUSE's top 20 videos of 2009...You've heard the remade Snif and the Tears in the Lincoln commercial by now...MTV2 has "Subterranean"; one episode had Rivers Cuomo of Weezer...Muse rocked SNL...Flipping channels early one morning, ESPN's Mike + Mike uses Crystal Method's "Name of the Game" coming back from commercials...
Hearing: both Crumb CD's (many times), both Angels + Airwaves CD's, Hockey, and...wait for it...3 MUSE CD'S! I will become a Muse expert soon! I was hearing Muse as 2010 rolled in...Paramore might be next...
New on the radio; (soon) the next Angels + Airwaves single "Hallucinations", from the forthcoming CD "Love"--isn't there also to be a new Blink 182 CD in 2010? (Tom D. is going to be busy)...Not new, but cool; on Saturday nights, the 'new rock' radio station (KNRQ)'s syndicated show "Hard Drive" has great stuff; I heard some new Rob Zombie "Sick Bubblegum"...
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: purchases?
Out and About: "Volbeat" at the bar--from DJ barkeep; I must learn more...I also need to learn more about "Nightwish"...
Singing: "Freak of the Week"--Marvelous 3, "Not Again"--Crumb, "Song 2"--Blur, "Band on the Run"--Wings, "Like a Stone"--Audioslave,
What I want today: See? The point of this topic is what I want TODAY. Conceptually; since becoming jaded around 1984, I have never really wanted that much from life. As a kid, my MoM always said to me 'You can DO anything you want/HAVE anything you want.'. Well, what I 'want to do' is to leave a very soft footprint. Plus--my experience shows that anytime I DO have anything of value; some woman, some minority, or some minority woman (the worst) dedicates to taking it from me. Eveybody "wants" to take something from me. Besides; there are enough people with enough "have" and "do" already, and I am not as cold or greedy (stupid or selfish) as they are. I'm not stomping around, either. I can just "borrow", or "taste" what they have (or do), and that's enough for me--maybe I can help them manage what they "have" and "do". I don't have to "have" or "do" anything. Soft footprint; me, thank you. I'll stop now...TODAY I want one of those electric abdominal stimulator belts from the "Contour Core" infomercial...
New stuff this month or so: Alabama beat Florida, just as I said they would (I won $5)...12-6; first frost of the year here...Wait. So Tiger Woods had 14 other women? Seriously? He's stupid then. Sheesh (I have exactly TWO women, and they both know about each other. I'm a fucking genius; thank you)...Yes, as said before--while hearing Muse, happy New Year you herded sheeple...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): Another crank flashlight from Cash King, to replace the one stolen from me...
Occupational Hazards: I offered to intern/volunteer at CDWorld; they kind of giggled...And when that marijuana club/bar opens up here in 2010, I'll go volunteer there, too. Can I volunteer at the medical marijuana clinic?..
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: Right at the end of November, somebody entered my unlocked vehicle and tore through everything there. They stole my Crater Lake bag, some tools, smokes, and some loose change; they also made a mess of my pocket contents. How does this make me want to help the homeless fucks of this town/world?..Wow. 12-3-09; a date that will live in infamy for me. Call it a "life-changing" event...Somewhere around mid-December, I chipped another tooth; a major chip (about half), of a major tooth, on my inner right rear chewing side. Ow. Now I must chew on the left, and deal with even more mouth pain. Smaller bites, yes. I'm going to try to turn this into a positive, but please kill me now...12-28-09; I completed my first-ever "Sudoku fusion". It's a 6-box puzzle, instead of the standard 9-box. Same day; I completed the L. A. Times crossword puzzle. So?..My new computer speakers (Logitech S220's) are excellent! I broke them in with Crumb songs. I hooked them up, and hooked up my new tv extend-a-jack on New Year's Eve...
Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: it's been the same for months now; my average score on Golden Tee is -11.92 (I'm not even at 12 under yet!), and my handicap is down to +14 (from +18)...On Pirates pinball I scored 351 mil on 12-19-09...
New foods this month: the Oregon Jewel wild rice is fantastic!..We went out, to the Go Healthy Cafe, and had burritos. And just in case it crashed and burned, I had food ready at home, too. But Go Healthy was okay; Girlfriend says we will go there again, too...At home; broiled sweet potato slices dipped in Yumm sauce--nice! (French-fried sweet potatos)...Created by accident; Picante Pasta!...
This month of Blues Jamming: not much Jamming, or poker. 12-3 was the big OSU/Oregon football game; I made one really bad decision that night, and it will cost me...12-10; standard fabulous jam, Ri and Ra 1st, K and Ro 2nd, Max 3rd, A 4th...12-17-09; I missed the 1st set (with MT) for my girlfriend's work dinner (boo). The rest of the night was good enough, with all the regular performers--but I missed MT!..No jam on 12-24 or 12-31.
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: God wants me to drink less, and smoke more. Those are HIS ideas...God also wants me to have a medical marijuana card, and high speed internet. I'm just sayin'...
What's different here than in college town: More infants die here in our county than almost anywhere else in the U.S. We are "dead baby town". Wow...As the Ducks go to the Rose bowl, I want to yell "Go Ducks! Sic 'em! Quck quack quack quack!". But it just doesn't sound as good as the Bulldogs. Oh well.
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Marijuana club/bars are popping up in Oregon now. Eugene will get one in 2010...The Eugene library ranked in the top 200 of 7000 national libraries surveyed...
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): No tales; nothing...
Life with Static Girl: She would rather wear layers than snuggle up warm with me. Oh well; I'll deal with it...She and I can have entire conversations in just a couple of words. And we've been doing this for years. It's quite a time-saver...I asked her if she had taken one of my writing pens from the kitchen. And she (understandably) was kind of offended by this. She has thousands of pens; she would never take one of my dumb, non-artistic pens. I mean, why would she? A couple of days later, my pen was back--in the kitchen, with a note from my girlfriend saying 'I guess I did steal your pen. Sorry.' Yeah; and it's almost out of ink now, but I'm just going to let it all go...When (I try to remind her of something, and) she can't remember or doesn't know something, her verbal tag is "I don't know what you're talking about."--which means that this conversation is over now. She and I have different forms of selective memory...She doesn't eat breakfast; she says it makes her stomach upset. So; she goes to bed hungry, with her tummy growling. Then she doesn't eat any food until lunch the next day. No wonder she's skinny!..Televisual optimism! I'll tell my girlfriend that she might like some show on tv, and her immediate response is "I doubt it." Then I'll start describing it to her--in hopes that she will see the possibilities. And after my kind words about some show she always says "That sounds dumb.". She is NOT impressed by tv. MY girlfriend!..Typical conversation; I start talking. When I attempt humor, she rolls her eyes--but at least I know she's listening. If she does a heavy sigh while I'm talking, it's my clue that she's losing interest, and I need to get to the point--quickly. She's a good audience--for a few seconds...We will sometimes rub each other the wrong way--all couples do. Usually it happens when I say something harsh (gee, imagine). The only question is: did I sting her at random, or did she provoke me? It doesn't matter--we both always respond the same way: we seperate for an hour or so. Then we get back together, and I apologize for being pissy. Then she apologizes for being grumpy. Then we kiss, or rub noses, and all is okay. Seriously; you dumbass other couples could learn alot from us...Oh! Speaking of "dumbass": My girlfriend does not cuss. If something foul-language-worthy happens to her, she usually says "Oh, man!", and it is said in a generally positive tone--kind of like an 'Ah-ha!' moment. And I am happy, eager even, to do all the cussing for her--usually from another room...For New Year's Eve, we sat and watched a good recorded episode of the new Dr. Who (the best show on tv)...
My FCP has this for me: She is my escape hatch; not that I need to escape so much--I just want to go play in her "hatch"...I am her favorite gingerbread man, and she is my icing...Her unemployment did not last long. Poor thing; she had to work New Year's Eve. Not me. And: Hello Nurse! Yes; she said she would much rather be "nursing" me than working.
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: Automaker Saab is gone now...GMAC is getting an extra $3.8 billion of taxpayer's money; why?..
A thought to take with you: "For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery."--Jonathan Swift
Bumper Sticker, and I've seen it before, but it's worth repeating: "God is too big to fit into one religion."
Band names: Dead Baby Town,
(...last month we were...)
Reading: Yeah. I read about a semi-major earthquake in northern California in the first 12 days of January. That would be just a couple hundred miles from here, and WE didn't feel anything here. Please; no jokes about Haiti.
Watching: Wait; "House" is the world's most popular tv show? (Alternet)..."Burn Notice" claims to be the most pouplar show on cable...The Simpsons have done 20 years and 450 episodes? Wow. Not bad for a Tracey Ullman Show side-sketch...
Class Projects: "Expelled-No Intelligence Allowed"--Ben Stein, House, Bones,
movies together: District 9,
Shit I watch alone: the first 6 episodes of "Durham County", a marathon of "Burn Notice", the new FX show "Archer" is great...3 more discs of 'Sunny in Philadelphia',
Comedians: Jake Johannsen "I Love You", Dave Attell "Captain Miserable",
I went to see the "Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus" at the Bijou. It was okay.
$2 Blockbuster rentals: Funny People, Paranormal Activity, Inglourious Basterds, Halloween II, Bundy, Shaun of the Dead, District 9, Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas, It Might Get Loud,
Crappy cable movies: He's Just Not That Into You, Zoolander, Feast,
Play it Again's: Pulp Fiction,
Watching and Hearing:
Hearing: Anberlin's "Lost Songs", tons of Muse, the Nightwish + Volbeat listed below, Paramore,
New on the radio;
Musical Purchases this month from the Tom Tucker discount wall at CDWorld, my Barbie Dream Home: Christmas trades got me a 4th Muse CD, and the Nightwish "Once".
Amazon purchase: Volbeat "Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood",
Out and About: who fucking cares? So I can name most of the songs on the bullshit little corporate music feeds. Dollar Tree and Carl's Jr. seem to have the best overall variety of music. Staples, Office Depot, Fred Meyer, Wal-Mart, + Albertson's music services are okay overall...And after I say that, at Albertson's, I heard new Greenday and old Men at Work back-to-back on the same trip. Wow...
Singing: "It's No Good"--Depeche Mode, "Send the Pain Below"--Chevelle, "Fascination Street"--the Cure, "The Thin Ice"--Pink Floyd,
What I want today: I am saddened by the death of Brittany Murphy; I had complimented her in THIS section of this website just weeks before her tragic passing in December. She will be missed...What I want? I want to be recognized as a man with many solutions to these current bullshit world problems.
New stuff this month or so: in this 2010 year, Soundgarden will reunite...
This Month of bargain-shopping (Dollar Tree, Cash King, Big Lots, etc.): fake shampoo, baggies, sponges, and I want an umbrella!..
Occupational Hazards: Where to volunteer first?...Well; Oregon is getting $5 million for green jobs training. My MoM told me I should get a green job. I have some business plans for green jobs, and I WANT a green job. What exactly is the problem here? Let's make a Hemp City!..
Personal shit for my own memory banks this month: I am about to be a new member of TWO different clubs; one is a good club, and one is not. Oh well...There is a new piece of glass in my life...I also replaced the 4 windshield wipers in this house; each one involved cussing and small fits. And I threw 3 of the old wipers. Ha...I lost, then found, quite a few things: an Amazon gift card, several containers, a glass vehicle, a plastic vehicle. You know what? Never mind...Although I consider the Colts a better team overall, I am betting $5 on the Saints in this post-Katrina world of Superbowl 44 in Miami...
Pinball and Golden Tee stuff: We may be starting a Golden Tee League at the bar.
New foods this month: 3 Days of food-continuation--Night 1: A rice pot...Night 2: "Pizzaroni" (again; it was only a matter of time)...Night 3: "Fried Pizzaroni" (it's almost like I'm making it up as I go along)...3 more days of food continuation--Night 1: a pea pot (black-eyed and green split)...Night 2: Veggie Pea Pot...Night 3: Fried Veggie Pea Pot...I added an apple to my pasta sauce--it was good!..New? Old? They call it Mountain Dew throwback; made with real sugar. Yum...I made excelent vegan mushroom burgers...There is a new vegan food cart in town that serves barbeque. That would be Vegan Soul food, and I must try it!
This month of Blues Jamming: 1-7-09: Sober? Yes, and more musicians than customers again. Ra, w/Z-Bass, JP, Jimmy D drums 1st, Morgan and (his Dad) Scott, Axle drums, Russ bass 2nd (best set by far), Ro + Ri, T-Mart bass, Golf Shoes drums, Bill keys, then Z-Bass, Ri + Ra, Jimmy D + JP 4th (Alabama slaughtered Texas in the title game; go SEC!)...1-14-09; not sober. Boring first 2 sets, then Morgan rocked set 3. Max may have played set 4. I was drunk...1-21-09; standard first set, then ther band "Smoke Stack" played a set (2), then Axle got to drum set 3, and Max closed down set 4. I lost at least $10, and don't know how I got home...1-28-10; I was supposed to be a good boy, only have 2 beers, drive home, and get ready for my big day tomorrow. Not quite. Max plays ALL 4 SETS! 1 with Ricky, Jimmy D, and Mark the Harp is back after 6 weeks off (he survived quadruple bypass surgery); set 2 Ro on the other guitar, Lenny drums; set 3 with Andy on the other guitar, Matt drums (wow). set 4 was like 3; nice. I blacked out after...never mind. Lost my winter coat, too...
My trials and trib.s as a critical believer in the concept of God: Do you believe in Aliens? You should; why? Because that Jesus guy himself said He had "other" sheep, not of this "fold." Wow. I did NOT know that all of those bible-thumpers are also true-believers in Aliens. Well; welcome to the club, children... I could do this down below, in 'Life w/Static Girl', but it's here. She believes in the universal truth of evolution; no chance for God. I argue to her; 'So; what you're saying is that cells just divided/mutated, and eventually we had swans reflecting elephants in that Salvador Dali painting?' And she says 'Yes.' I could not disagree more. But without going into too much detail for my own argument, I simply propose a cosmic "table of contents" for the earthly evolution. God (or Aliens, but for now we'll stick with God) is responsible for that table of contents. The idea of "chance" flopping around 'willy-nilly' and 'free range' could not have created intelligent beasts to swim, fly, walk, and think. Period. I'll argue this up against any scientist, anywhere.
What's different here than in college town: The Oregon Ducks finished 11th in the national polls...(BEFORE) Oregon corporations paid only $10 per year in taxes; that made Oregon the 3rd lowest business-taxing state. (AFTER) Now; Oregon is raising taxes on the corporations and the rich...Oregon (and most all) schoolkids are not normally allowed to wear hats at school. But kids here currently pay 50 cents per day to wear hats, and all the money is being sent to Haiti...
What's different here than dumbass Arizona: Again with library news: Our library here is a "Star" library; that means it's in the top 3% of America for cost-effectiveness. Yes, it is quite the book bin...It's so humid here, that most cars, like both of ours, have moss growing on them. I even have moss growing at the base of my driver's window, so I see it every time I get in...
How Does Your Garden Grow? (Tales from our community garden plot): I went and renewed our garden plot for 2010! We will do better at growing stuff this year--and I won't be on crutches when we begin (like last year)...
Life with Static Girl: I wanted to get my girl another pair of her cool, vegan shoes; and I STILL want to. But apparently gift-giving season is over; she won't let me. So I will keep getting her the specific foods and beverages of her choice, and try to limit her need to go shopping--that's probably the best Christmas gift I can get her. Yes! Booze, groceries, and Yumm sauce: Merry Vegan Christmas!..And I was going to surprise her with a tube of "Shoe Goo" for her slightly messed up current vegan shoes, but I did not get the 'Goo'--and that was smart, on my part, because 'Goo' is definitely not vegan...How smart is my girlfriend? For all the books she reads she uses index cards as bookmarks--so she can write down quotes and good lines as soon as she finds them. Why didn't I think of this?..My girl drew a gorgeous artist' rendering of Boo the guinea pig; I want a larger one--for the 'fridge! And more; NOW I want the picture to be of Boo talking to a pretty duck...After these 12 years with me, MY girl has slowly come around to drinking coffee. But she's always made it sweeter and more chocolatey usually by adding cocoa. I understand this. But her newest trend of adding chocolate soy milk to coffee is, perhaps, the GREATEST move to improve coffee in my lifetime. Creamy, smooth, and more mocha-ish is my coffee now, and I have my girl to thank for it...I almost never eat upstairs; no plates, and never more than 1 glass (or coffee mug) up here for me. SHE has rows of drinking glasses on her windowsill, and plates all over the floor. And she ONLY does this because she knows it drives me nuts--and eventually I'll take it all back to the kitchen anyway...Her injured rib from Christmas snowboarding/sledding is getting better; yay. I need a girlfriend who is free from injury...Speaking of injury, she broke through her milkcrate seat of 3 years. We're pretty sure that dumb milkcrate is a big part of her constant back pain. What will her next computer seat be?..She snuck and paid most of the bills again, and she did not have to. It's her way of thanking me for being such a good roommate/boyfriend/shopper...My girlfriend bought and paid for THIS website domain thing again this year! I guess I will maintain my crush on her, and worship her from close by...I left the house early on Championship Sunday to go watch the 2 football games at the bar. When I got home later, she had left me a note THANKING ME for her quiet afternoon and evening alone. My girlfriend thanks me for getting out of the house, okay? There is NO other woman who thanks her man for leaving her alone. I'm pretty spoiled here...Her back pain does still flare up at times; I have suggested ball exercises and new sleeping positions. I am only trying to help her deal with the discomfort--I hope she understands that...We'll be gardening again this year, and Static Girl paid the annual fee. She wrote the check, and I took it to the Parks and Recreation department. We make a great team!..
My FCP has this for me: She once was a birdie that I set free, and she did come back to me!..She has been all over my brain this month, and, in a very good way. I called her my perfect teenage summer camp girlfriend; then I called her (on the phone) and told her about it...And there was something about ours being an incomplete hologrpahic love construction...Innocent looking on the surface, perhaps, but underneath she is my pornoverted dream...
Comments From The Peanut Gallery: The Octomom's Dr. is finally being questioned about inseminating a crazy woman with a house full of kids already--as I said to do so a year ago...One of my news websites, WRH, is finally calling the current economic state a "depression"--as I said to do so a year ago...Another news site, Alternet, is now claiming that the Olympics have become a corporate toilet--as I said they were 9 years ago...China is putting cheap toxic lead in most jewelry, but that doesn't surprise me. What surprises ME is that people still use crappy products from China...Mark McGwire cried and admitted using steroids. Really?..Citigroup lost $7.77 billion in the 4th quarter of 2009, but still plans to give out large bonuses to top employees. How?..Massive new layoffs by Verizon (13K), Wal-Mart (12K), Xerox (2.5K), UPS (2K), Home Depot (1K), and Sun Micro PROVE that there is no end to this "depression" (repression?) anytime soon...
A thought to take with you: Oregon bumper sticker: "Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
And my follow-up to women is: "If you play your cards right tonight, it'll melt in your mouth, not in my hands."--W. C. Davis
"It is better to have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of almost something."--MySpace friend's quote
Here's a thought: Alcohol causes you to rationalize, rather than analyze...
"In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm and three or more is a congress."--John Adams
Band names: "Quality Generics", "Fried Pizzaroni", "Cheap Toxic Lead", "Uphill Both Ways", "Legitimate Concerns", "Courtroom Hangover" (and, "Hungover in Court" is an album title),
"Planet Styrofoam"--Countdown, "Smelliotic"--Bucky Katt, "Vegan Soul Food"--(Cornbread Cafe food cart),