Old Personal News

(since March 17th, 2002)

Monday, September 2nd, 2002

Let's start with a few comments about my 3+1/2 yr old dial-up dinosaur of a computer. If this thing doesn't work with me, then I am at a loss. Maybe the computer is pissed because I haven't named it--like my dick and my van, but I can't help that now. 'This thing makes new windows fairly well', but it will shut down with no warning (When was the last time a pen or piece of paper "shut down" on you? My point, exactly.)

I don't remember much about Sunday the 25th after the Sunday shift. I probably updated my webpage, though. Brent called on both Saturday and Sunday, and he's not supposed to. On Monday we got trained to do the new NSBA program by Marwan from Lebanon, and I don't even know how to spell Lebanon. He was good, though. At home I had a nap after exercise, then went out. Way out. My ear hurt Tuesday morning, and I couldn't get out of bed, so I was 3+ hours late for work. Lots of sales, then pocket money, mailed the Scrubs tape off to S. Carolina, groceries, nachos, and tv (good Gilmore Girls). My alarm tricked me this morning, and I woke up at 5:25, bad. But without a shower, I made it to work by 6:09; not bad. Lots of sales, and home to make phone calls and go for a jog/run/frisbee throw. I fell down twice, and my legs hurt from running; I guess that's what I wanted. Stiff Thursday, but on time. Bad phones. It took almost 4 hours to get pocket money. Went and took great food up to TPG's house. Friday was lousy on the phones again, but payday. Veggie lasagna for me and my Static Girl. Wonderful exercise, and I'm out to play provider for Brent and Bill. Crash hard until 12:30 Saturday. PetSmart, Staples, and out to play provider for Brent again. That little noise you heard was UGA squeaking by Clemson. Passed out with dry mouth, and up at 6 am Sunday. This won't last. Hey look, I wrote something:

School Problems

Yeah, you know how much I love children, right? Next up I am going to tackle the poor music industry...Wow, what a busy Sunday!

The Business of Music

Yeah, well you know how much I love the corporate music business, too. What's next? Maybe I'll go work on Gus; I'm a busy man.
Yes, we went and put the Greased Lightning in Gus, and put the '03 sticker on. Then we went in search of greener fields. Closed down Sunday night Sam's, and to Gallagher's for some Bride of Pinbot pinball. Home at 11:30 to not puke; now it's 11:30 am Labor Holliday. Strong coffee rules. I am happy to be writing anything--in case I haven't said that lately.

Sunday, August 25th, 2002

By Sunday night, I had run out of party supplies, booo. Monday had work, and we're getting to know a cool new girl named Chandra. After work we went to go get Gus emissioned. Turns out that Gus failed again. Bob at PBS said to come back on Wednesday and we'd look at it. I came home for a nap. Up later for veggie machoroni, exercise, and then Barney promised (again) to take care of me. So I go to meet him up at Sam's, and he never shows at all. Al was good to me, though, and I beat Rob twice at golf (We are now even!). As luck would have it, I woke up on time Tuesday morning (get this:) NOT coughing, and breathing through both nostrils, wow. I am feeling better (except for the ear), somehow, and work went okay. I learned about "tubular pregnancies", more proof that pro-lifers are just stupid--because HERE is their ONE exception--thereby making ALL pro-lifers pro-choice. Gave my number to a potential new enabler who may even live up here by me. To plasma headquarters to find out that I have too much fat in my blood to donate; what? I'm confused, and pissed. Home for a nap. Static Girl and I both have the "blahs", and she still doesn't like Gilmore Girls. Okay. Wednesday work, and then it's back to PBS for Bob to work his emissions magic. He says I only needed a little (up your nose with a) rubber hose, and only charged me $25. Unfortunately it took 3 hours to get it all done, so I had to drink beer at Shenanigan's and get a -19 on their golf game. If Static Girl wasn't already pissed (she was) then this would have been enough to rile her up. She shut her door at 6, and I went to bed at 6:30. Thursday I'm not coughing so much, and breathing well, but my left ear is definitely morphing back into a water balloon. I try to ignore it, try to play it down like it's no big deal, try to pretend like other shit is more important, but I'll be crying about my ear in a few days. Bummer. Thursday was a full day; work, plasma, emissions, beer and Reese's cups for Bob, then home. (At the plasma clinic, I started singing "Under Pressure", then after getting back into Gus, that was the first song on the classic rock station.) After so much productivity, it was time to load up some resin and go golfing; so we did. This turned into an improvisational party night, with my thinking that I deserved it. Golf and pinball; lots of beer. Home after midnight for nachos. I was 45 minutes late for work Friday (Is THAT all?), Code Red instead of java; no water. I can breathe, but my nose is running; I can hear, but my internal volume control is turned way down. Lunch at the Chinese buffet; hot pepper therapy. At home, The Queen wants to go to Fry's electronics, so we do. Back home to eat veggies and Nilla wafers. Exercise, and off to meet up with Barney (resin days are over). It becomes a golf and pinball wipeout. Home for nachos (again), and to crash. Wake up at noon Saturday, let's drink some coffee! Is this boring? Is it? Well then kiss my ass and don't fucking read it. It became a steak-Saturday again up at TPG's house. Then we went out to golf and pinball again. Home late for Gran Turismo. Up at 7 to go to work at 8; Sunday shift. I heard "Ice Cream Man" on the way to work, and then "Frankenstein" when coming home; you gotta love that. Plus it's a nice day. I'm hungry.

Sunday, August 18th, 2002

Sunday night, as was stated, we went and found some 80's games, and a larger Golden Tee game at this place called Jillian's. However, going to experiment in a new bar--with no money and no cigarettes--shows the approximate level of Barney's intelligence. It was very hard to sleep Sunday night; I got about 2 hours. Monday had great work, cheap shopping, more Sponge Bob macaroni, excellent exercise, then out to party with Al and Eric. It's a blowout; 2 -16's on Golden Tee, and 135 million on Junkyard pinball. Came home after midnight for drunk nachos. By the magic of God I woke up Tuesday morning and made it to work. Spilled coffee all over me first thing, and I'm trembling. Can't talk, throat hurts, coughing twice a minute, and I shit my pants. If this was just a hangover, then this is the type of head-throbber that makes people slit their wrists. No, baby, we are definitely getting/already sick. And here I am, pushing Dillard's cards in Georgia at 6 am. Pray for me. Definitely sick; I cannot breathe through either nostril. But, get this, I somehow go and donate plasma anyway. Am I amazing for an old man? At home, watched Monday night's The Shield, PTI, and Gilmore Girls (rift hated it). Static Girl gave me drugs and tucked me in at 8:30. Barney had called twice before 5 pm, and then called again at 10 pm when we were both asleep. Uh-uh; we're not gonna have anymore of that foolishness. Wednesday I'm up for work; dizzy, but effective. Raw throat, still can't breathe, I expect to be sent home before lunch. Nope. Lunch helped me, and even while sick I did well afterwards. Wow. Home to find out that Static Girl's car had been broken into, and the creeps stole her $50 cassette player (even the car thieves out here are dumbasses). Nobody wants to break into my 13 yr old van, and that's just fine with me. Cussed Barney out (the second time he called today) and told his dumb fat ass to NEVER call me again; if I want to talk to him, then I'll call him. Bed at 9. Up Thursday to feel a tad bit better. There's no A/C at work (great), but work went okay. Then we went for pocket money, and there's no A/C at pocket money either (great). Finally home, and exhausted, but I pressed on for tv and black bean clam chowder. Mom's birthday package came, yay! Money and literature; Mom is cool. At midnight I wrote a poem on the computer; wanna see it? Fuck you--it's MY poem (I haven't even shown you morons my "Familiar Lust" poem yet, nyaaa). Tried to sleep in on Friday, but still woke up at 8:30. 5 cups of coffee, Gran Turismo, e-mails, then to the bank and the car wash; still coughing and snorting, yes, but I haven't slashed my wrists yet. On tv, Iraq is about to start WWIII; so I guess I'll be going out drinking tonight. Kiss my ass. After nachos and exercise with a grumpy girlfriend, we are out to play. Not the best idea, oh well. Home at midnight Friday night for more nachos, and then a nice nap. Up Saturday to roll around, and then go up to TPG's house for ribs, laundry, and digital cable. Back home at dark to find a still grumpy rift. Watched some 80's music stuff on VH-1, Bella Shaw is on the new Carleton Sheets commercial, X-Games highlights, yawn, and then to listen to some Orb. Sleep. Up at 10 am Sunday, coughing and hacking still. This is not quite the party I signed up for, but the Orb does sound nice.

Sunday, August 11th, 2002

Sunday night, the 4th, I helped Brent move, again. Monday I worked, and don't remember much else. Tuesday morning, on the hard alternative radio station here, I heard Radiohead's "Creep" as I pulled into work. It put me in a good mood, too. When I left work, on the soft alternative station here, I heard Radiohead's "Creep" again. I thought that it was pretty cool to hear an "oldie" alternative song twice in 1 day on 2 different stations. I also remember being with TPG one morning at the Broad street Autozone back in 1994 when he got to hear the song for the first time (I got to be all cool for knowing the song well--while others were hearing it for the first time.). Pocket money, and it became a party night. Too much of a party night, as it turns out, and Wednesday became a day off. It was a big tv day; watched Tuesday night's "Gilmore Girls", the pilot of "Mad About You" was on Lifetime, "Breaking News" and "Deadline" were on Bravo; we played a little Gran Turismo. Wednesday evening we got our first $200 power bill of the year, and that's always fun. Went to work Thursday, don't remember Thursday night. Went to work Friday for the little birthday celebration. They got me a really nice card, and a (pay attention) purple Tazmanian Devil balloon that absolutely rules! Gloria and Janet took me to lunch at the Great Wall buffet, yum.

At home, we opened up Dad's card and check, and Static Girl's parents sent me the new version of the Mattel Electronics Baseball game, AND the receipt, so I can go back and trade it in for another game that I don't already have. If you're paying attention, they did good to send me my favorite Mattel Electronics game; they didn't know that I already had one. But they did GREAT to send me the receipt, so that I can go and try to get either Football 1(white), or Football 2(green). This is cool...So I go out Friday night; and before I get to the first bar, Gus' alternater dies, booo. Brent followed me home, and then carted me around. Saturday morning, Rift follows me to C+R to get Gus worked on. Then she took me to the bank, to Subway, and to the post office. We got mail from Dad, and from S. Cackalackey. Dad sent me 2 nice shirts; Mindy sent us much cool stuff from the east coast; candles, knives, sandalwood leaves, notebooks, and a visual aid; wow. Eventually the emotional roller coaster would end with my NOT needing a new battery, yay, and Static Girl making sure that I could afford the van repairs (my girlfriend is pretty cool). Completely drained by 4 pm, it was time to go out again. This was the golf and pinball fiesta that I had been hoping for. Fun, fun, and more fun. Brent brought me home around 11 pm. I ate drunk nachos, and crashed hard. Up at 10 am to drink coffee, and try to figure out what happens next. We Gran Turismo'd, and eventually went shopping for bread, a paper, and Mattel Electronics Football 1! Back at home, after parental talks, getting ready to go with Brent to find retro video games. Okay.

Sunday, August 4th, 2002

I remember Sunday night very well; golf with Al and Rob. Rob seems to get more annoying as the weeks pass, but I may be able to help him. In fact, I came up with a plan to make him cool--and me rich; it is very motivational. I became optimistic on Sunday night, and was hoping that it would spill over into the week; it did. Worked Monday, and life was good. Tuesday still had the good attitude, and it was payday, pocket money, and out to golf with Al and Eric. A little late for work on Wednesday, and we learned about 2by2.net from Sean. Thursday I finished the little "Familiar Lust" poem (you'll see it later), wrote a letter, wrote a letter for Sean, got pocket money, and got lost trying to find the Fever Blues Club. Bed by 8 pm, no meetings. Friday was the big lunch trip to La Tolteca for the 3 lb. burrito. I got written up at work for being late back on the phone; sometimes work is run by a big fat wussie. I was tempted to go ahead and give them a few reasons to fire me, but I let them have the last word (look how mature I have become, nyaaaa). Friday evening had lots of beer and golf. Saturday was the cow-broiling lunch with TPG and DJ, and it would eventually become a party night with Barney; lots of pinball.

Sunday, July 28th, 2002

Worked all day Monday. Made Sponge Bob macaroni at home. Barney said 'let's go out', so I did, and he never showed. I scored 130 million on Junkyard. Tuesday I was strungover and 10 minutes late to work. Still a sales god though. Pocket money, and e-mail therapy. Wednesday I was very sleepy, and depressed; still a sales god. Went to bed at 7:30 pm like an old man. Thursday had horrible moaning back pain all day, but I was still a sales god. Crooked jalapeno nachos made me cry; out with Bill and Brent. Had to be on time for work Friday or suffer the wrath of Static Girl. The day went by fast enough. Then to Fry's Electronics to browse and buy paper. In the bargain bin for Playstation 1 games, Gran Turismo is now $10, and GT2 is only $15. This depresses and energizes me, being that they are my 2 favorite games. Late exercise, and out to find Rob and Eric (Golf!). Eric is a former Overnight Guy, and really cool. We went to the Candy Store; fun. Saturday starts at 10 am. Stay tuned. Somebody went to Sam's; levelled and cleaned the Junkyard pinball machine, and Saturnday night, I scored 277 million on it, wow. Couldn't find Eric, but I will later. The new waitress is named "Crystal" (spell?), and she's adorable. Crashed until 1 pm on Sunday, got up and cleaned, did laundry too. Being productive is moderately enjoyable; but I may just be setting up to go drinking.

Sunday, July 21st, 2002

Yeah, okay. So I've been reading back over my little entries here. Boring. I guess my life is boring. The fun things I mention are for my benefit; not yours. So there may be a change in the way I keep up with personal news.

Got paid. Paid bar tabs that weren't even mine. Helped Bill out with a ride from Northern to Cave Creek. Scored 120 million on Junkyard pinball. I've been pissy. I still have a job, and I haven't killed anybody yet. Fuck you. Kiss my ass. What are you looking at?

Sunday, July 14th, 2002

I don't have to remember Sunday the 7th because I already wrote about it, thank God. I don't remember shit. Monday it got interesting. I showed up for work 10 minutes late, no big deal. We all did fairly well in the morning, and then went to lunch. During lunch, the Beauty School must have been doing some kind of nail-polish-remover experiment, because after lunch it reeked like a spilled bottle of paint thinner (or Rush) on the Westside of our little telemarket room. Everybody whined about it, except G-Nome, Erik and me (we knew that this was going to be a free buzz). We 3 were the only ones who stayed on the Westside--we were as high as 3 kites, and making sales! Erik had his little biker radio tuned to KSLX classic rock, and this was kinda fun. Well, it was fun until we went outside--all dehydrated, with monster headaches. How the fuck was your Monday? I went out with Brent later. Very little sleep, and work was tough on Tuesday. But I made it through, pocket money, and out with Brent and TPG! Would you believe, I got another -20 on Golden Tee? I did it, baby. Zonked out, and to work on Wednesday in very rough shape. I fell asleep sitting up, shhh. But I also made a few sales, and it was okay. At home, after exercise, I meant to go to bed by 8 pm...but Brent called me out for a party night--his treat! So I did. Ran into Rob, and we played golf and traded cheap smokes for beer; I don't know what I was thinking. I knew I needed sleep. And apparently neither of these 2 paid for the beers they were supposed to. But I was the golf wizard--winning 2 in a row, and went home after midnight. My sleepwalking involved pouring a cup of water on the floor in my room, and crashing on the Warped Tour (futon) again (Remember when girlfriend accused us of being "drunk and stupid"?). For scary sleepwalking, it was fairly harmless, but I certainly couldn't be expected to go to work or anything. So I didn't; choosing instead to sleep until nonish. Later, I did go get pocket money, which led to brake fluid and Stagg chili. I can make some chili now. My tummy was happy, and my brakes don't squeak. How the fuck was your Thursday? I tried to go to bed early, but couldn't. So I got up and e-mailed Dad and a few of my women. With lots of sleep, it was easy to get up on Friday morning. I decided to be results-oriented at work on Friday. I was not the first person to get off of work early; I was the second. It's fun to leave work an hour and 20 minutes early on Friday; woo-hoo. Now I'm at home... preparing to attack my girlfriend. Stay tuned...It went very well; she still likes me. And this led to going out Friday night to find pissed off little trailer cunts at my (Sam's) bar claiming that I owed them money for Wednesday night. These fucking sluts are bitching at me like it's my fault that they can't keep track of money and beer that other people bought for me. I didn't even have any money on Wednesday, and it wasn't my idea to go out. Well, I will deal with Brent and Rob, and then I may go fucking hibernate; I don't need this stress. So I went to Gallagher's instead, and then to Dave's place. I was pissed off. And then I was up early on Saturday to go to work--like a good boy. Put in my 5 hours, and came home to nap. Later, watched the Crow with Static Girl. Woo.

Sunday, July 7th, 2002

Wow, did we make it through July 4th with no 'kaboom'? My animated friend Marvin said that
"There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom." Oh well.
Sunday afternoon, after cleaning my bathroom and talking to mom, I went back out to meet up with Brent, Amy, and Tracy. I provided well. Brent and I wound up at Sam's playing golf with 'Dynamic' Rob. Then Brent left, and I lost 1 more tee-time at Gallagher's. Sleep was rough, but we were at work on time. It went well. At home, paid rent, exercised, and played on the computer. Finished last week's

I Don't Hang Out

and completed today's rant on

Sperm Banking

Stayed in and ate potatoes like a good poor boy. Tuesday I was 2 minutes late for work. Then pocket money, and Yukon Gold Crooked Sky potatoes, and home. Not very exciting, sorry. On time for work Wednesday, but I was pissy on the phone. I knew I would be playing stress-release pinball later. I'm up to page 6 of writing the new Mom-letter. Everybody was home early for exercise and a pasta-accompanying veggie plate. Met Brent for his apologies and to thrash him at golf and Junkyard pinball. I just missed another pinball high score; did you know that all 4 high scores are above 100 million, and they're all mine? Feels like old times at Steverino's. Rob showed up late, and he beat me at golf again. Then I'm home to crash. Up at 11 am on the 4th, rolling around in my underwear with the air conditioner humming; it's great to be an American. Went for Independence pocket money, and back home to get ready to take Static Girl to the Glendale fireworks show. Now this was fun. We set up a blanket, played frisbee with kids, I bought her a watermelon popsicle, and we kissed on the blanket and stuff; aww. I stayed up too late, but got to work Friday. Got all the Scrabble words again, and we threw pies at work. On the way home, I tried to help this guy jump his car because he was trapped in an intersection. Turns out he's John the bassist for Twist of Fate, so I'm in good with one of Phoenix's top bands now (Bash on Ash Aug. 29th). Home at 4 for early exercise, and early out. Hooked with Brent and Amy, and we golfed and pinballed. Smog! Brent's best game of Junkyard pinball (23 million) was also my best (new high score 136 million). Yay. Home for drunk nachos that made me cry, yum, and a crash until 10:30. Up for Saturday morning Gran Turismo. In trying to figure out what to do, I decided to do laundry and cook up at TPG's. Watched a dumb Jamie Lee Curtis movie "Virus", while trying to explain it to baby DJ. Later, TPG would meet me at the golf game, which I ruled. Then we headed over to the pinball machine, which he ruled. Sometimes he does beat me. And all of my high scores were cleared. Oh well. Closed down the fort, and home for nachos; plus, we watched the car chase scene in "Bullit" (Would a Boss Mustang really keep up with a Dodge Charger like that?). Up at noon Sunday with C-Rap jungle junk pumping through the walls; I answer with "Wish You Were Here", because art trumps bass. Then I went and spent 5 hours with Brent; killed him at golf and pinball (scored 103 million on Junkyard pinball to retake my crown from TPG). Home to create a veggie plate that I ate alone; girlfriend is very quiet. Hopefully she isn't too upset with me. I'm broke and scraping change; resin coming soon. So?

Sunday, June 30th, 2002

Sunday the 23rd we found Chromie's cap, but didn't go play. Couldn't sleep Sunday night (too sober). Monday morning, Gus' battery light came on, and he was making a new noise, but we made it to work. Autozone checked and said my alternater was extremely weak. Later I would mash on wires in the back of it--and it actually helped. Back to work Tuesday, C+R Tire, Autozone, and we decided to go out. Met golf Rob, and later got 119 million on Junkyard pinball. An hour late for work Wednesday, home for a nap, burritos, exercise, then out with Brent and Amy. Thursday I was 15 minutes late for work, and then I was 1 of 3 who did NOT get sent home early. Pocket money, nachos, and went to Rob's Freedom Meeting (a very promising enterprise). Friday had work, and we actually got paid. My most excellent girlfriend took me to Olive Garden for a Tour of Italy. Double exercise, and I'm out to play golf and pinball alone. Slept till 1:30 Saturday, oops, then it's off with Brent and Amy at 3 pm. I came home at 9 pm with 120 million on Junkyard. Nachos, bed, and I'm up at 10 am Sunday.

Sunday, June 23rd, 2002

Sunday was quiet. I went to both Sam's and Gallagher's Sunday night. Then Monday at work I ruled. I agreed to go pick up Brent and take him out on his last night of being car-less. Then I closed down Gallagher's. Tuesday morning came hard and heavy; no work. Sleep was good. I spent much of the day contemplating my life, and considered some of the changes needed. This was a good day. Pocket money, garlic and okra from Crooked Sky, then I went and bought a $5 T-Bone steak at Safeway. I ate well, then watched Gilmore Girls with Dawn, then came home and typed out

My June 2002 Rant

and had a nice talk with my Static Girl. She still likes me. When the hell was Wednesday? Okay; work was tough. Spent some good quality time talking to G-Nome, and gave him a ride home. My hopeful new job no longer needs people, although I'm hired at 2 Budget car sales lots now (it's complicated, trust me). I didn't plan on going out...but...it's TPG's last night before the baby gets here. This led to a single tour, 246 million game on the broken Addam's Family pinball game at Gallagher's (Just like old times!). I could brag about the volume drunk and smoked, but that would look like shock value followed by denial. Late night nachos happened again; I didn't figure to awake for work. Somehow; I am out of the shower at 5 am Thursday morning, and at work early, wow. So we worked, got pocket money, blackeyed pea pods and Armenian cucumbers from Crooked Sky, and came home. I cooked jalapeno/garlic rice for dinner. Friday I was kicked off the phone at 1:15, but stayed for my interview. Cooked the blackeyed peas, had incredible exercise, and went out to score 104 million on Junkyard pinball. Partied a little too hard (Did you hear me puking?) but still got to work by 9:30, and worked the rest of the day. Of all the weird things in life; only my Sidebar 39 sheet disappeared from my cubicle on Saturday (there were 20 pages up for grabs). Went and saw DAF and TPG in the hospital, and took TPG to Honey Bear's (yummy) Barbeque. Baby Daniel is doing better, and it looks like he will be fine. A wheel-wash on Gus seems to have cured his squeaky brakes, yay. Golfed with Brent, and played many games of pinball. Chromie's cap is inside Gus, but hiding. Home for nachos, and a crash that lasted until 12:30 pm.

Sunday, June 16th, 2002

Sunday the 9th of June was quiet. Went to Chinese buffet with TPG, and watched the U.S. World Cup team tie Korea late Sunday night. 15 minutes late for work on Monday, but I ruled sales. Dress code has been dropped. Home for Cheri's pasta, Pet Psychic, and bed by 7:30. Tuesday was a good work day, pocket money, and Armenian cucumbers! Scrubs with TPG, and then out with him, too. Baby hangover at work Wednesday, and spent my last $3 at Safeway on Vanilla Coke and Hershey bars for my girl. Out with Brent. Thursday worked sucked, pocket money, and I got hired at Budget car sales. Out alone. Friday was DSL all day, but boring. I got pissy after lunch, but then I got paid and felt better. To the bank, got gas, and home for "create-a-potata" with Static. Brent had issues, so I went out alone and found Al. We golfed, pinballed, and drank like old college buddies; that was fun. Up at 11 am Saturnday hearing Hazel Virtue. Brent calls around 1 pm, and he needs me to come over, so I do. All of a sudden it's dinner time, and I ate with Brent and Amy. Then we go back to the Greenway Sam's. I finished up at my Sam's with many free games of Junkyard. Home for awesome drunk nachos. Woke up on the couch at 5 am, then from bed at 11 am. It's a hard life.

Sunday, June 9th, 2002

Sunday the 2nd of June I went out for pinball. It became an Al party night, golf at Gallagher's, and I was loopy. Monday was no work, lots of sleep; stayed in all day.
Tuesday I worked, tried to stay late, and got sent home. I threw a fit in the parking lot, screamed "fuck" about 20 times, and came home. Fearful that I had lost my job, I called and apologized. Turns out that they all heard me, and were laughing about it (sometimes it's good to be the class clown). They called my shit-fit a minor "temper tantrum", and all was forgiven; wow. At home, I cooked yummy rice; rice SO yummy that Static Girl ate seconds! I don't know that I've ever seen her eat seconds before; maybe. I decided to go out with Brent; I got 2 hole-in-ones, and a -20 on Buckhorn. This was quite a day.
Wednesday I was all dressed up, in case there was going to be a meeting about my "temper tantrum". Joe was all dressed up too, it was like we were all waiting for a Clint Eastwood showdown or something. But then Joe was super nice to me, he even brought me coffee and filters to crank up the java factory. And he put me on DSL all day (my favorite program); I was confused. Wednesday afternoon was my interview at AfterMarket; much to the surprise of nobody, I got hired there, too (so I'm working full time at one, and have been hired by 2 others, too). Needing to discuss and debate, it became a party night with TPG. Amidst figuring out that more training is always a good thing, TPG got 10 birdies and a hole-in-one at golf (he's only played the game like, 5 times). It was a fun night. No work Thursday; but we did donate plasma, and I made some killer nachos later. Friday I was at work early, and I worked well, and afterwards I went to the Arizona Center and got cool stuff for the South Carolina crowd. Also went and priced some apartments. Friday night became a low-investment party night, with a 94 million game of Junkyard (#3 score). Slept till noon Saturday; went and sold 3 Barry Bonds cards and mailed stuff to S. Carolina. May play with Brent later--if he can get his shit organized. Who am I kidding? But we did play golf with Brent, and it was fun. A cop followed me home, but I was cool. More late-night nachos, yum. Up early, like at 10:30 am Sunday. I have $2.

Sunday, June 2nd, 2002

I didn't keep such good records of the last week. But because of the nigger fit that some fired guy threw at work on Tuesday, now we have armed policemen at our telemarketing room. I worked extra everyday. No plasma donations until June 12th. Got back in touch with PumpkinCorey. Friday night I was out and loud. Saturday was Chinese buffet with Paul, then we found the Arizona Center--closed on weekends. Got home, and my Static Babe said 'let's go see Spirit'. So we did. Back out Saturday night, it's an Al party. Home late. Barely alive and broke on Sunday, I need more coffee for this.

Monday, May 27th, 2002 (Memorial Day)

Sunday, the 19th, I was all excited about the X-Files series finale. I was thinking all day about how that show is linked to my life and all--I even got to the point where I was saying "I AM the X-Files!". Yeah, well, bite me. The first 4 years were fantastic, and these last 5 blew chunks. I should've masturbated rather than waste those 2 hours; and you don't want Static Girl's impression of it. I went out for golf; home late. 2 hours of sleep.
Monday, work. Home for veggie burritos, exercise, and out for the science experiment. 4 hours of sleep later, we're at work Tuesday (on time) saying that science is cool. Worked late, pocket money, dollar store beef stew for dinner (Hey, why is my shit green?), watched the Scrubs season finale, sleep by 10 pm.
Wednesday; work. Sleep was good. Yay. I worked late, too. Home for veggie pizza burgers, exercise, and out for a stems and resin science experiment. Thursday, on time! Worked, read lots of paper. Stayed an hour late, and went to get pocket money. No pocket money; they lost my serum sample. I was hurt. Came home right when girlfriend did, and we kissed out on the sidewalk. No PTI either, boo. So I ate nachos, then got on the computer and typed out 2 commentaries I had been sitting on:

You Are Being Watched


The Only Child

I feel better now. In fact, I feel great for a guy who's broke, dry, and is only looking at some self-abuse this evening. Happy Birthday to TPG; he's 37, and much older than me for 3 months.
So we worked Friday. Road tripped with Static Girl to UPS to pick up her new books. Home for fun, and then wound up out with Brent, barely, for a little while. Not dry. Late solo golf. No work Saturday. Me and TPG to the Pizza Buffet--turns out that this was the last day for the pizza buffet; bummer. Wound up out alone again.
Sunday, up early for the Indy 500. My picks were Sarah Fisher, Helio Castroneves, and little Al. Sarah and little Al never got it going, but the screaming sophomore (aided by Roger Penske) did it again! What a race. Lunch with Paul at Arby's. Later, I met Brent at Gallaghers for golf. Home for sports, and 2 parental talks. Time for Star Wars! We went, and loved it. Then I stayed up till 4 am playing Gran Turismo. Up at noonish on Memorial Day. Here's to the men and women who have fought and died to save this republican bureacracy; I drink good coffee for you, and appreciate the sincerity of your efforts.

Sunday, May 19th, 2002

Sunday the 12th I went off with Brent again. A good question would be 'why?', but let's not ask good questions. Got home 5 minutes into a shitty X-Files. I worked every day this week, although I lost my internet capacity, and last week, too. Wow, huh? Came home Monday for PTI, and veggie burritos (Static Girl liked them!). Stayed in, and Brent lost his car. Tuesday I ruled the sales early, had a perfect monitoring session, and I'm still getting bitched at. On the way home, sitting in hot traffic, I sang Rod Stewart's "Stay With Me" and entertained my section well. Wednesday was payday, finally; bought Cheri's fan, ate leftover veggie burritos, exercised, and was out. Thursday we worked, donated plasma and got the physical, got the shortest haircut of my life, and went out. Friday had work, then we left an hour early to get the greatest 10-minute dental cleaning of my life from Dr. Joshi. She even gave me a hand-written sheet of things I need to have done soon, outlined options, and she was very friendly, too. In all seriousness, Dr. Joshi is the kind of dentist you want; quick and thorough, and willing to answer concerns. To the new 99 cent store for hot sauce, and then home for food, exercise, and out. Carted Brent around again, that's getting old. Saturday I don't remember much early, and it was just yesterday. By 6 pm I'm done shitting on myself, and ready to go play. Unfortunately it became a 6 hour party session; golf and beers in 3 bars, and 4 trips through the neighborhood. This was my one big blowout; and I came home to the final serving of my 2 lbs. of jalapenos. Slept in until 2 pm Sunday. If I could change anything, I would have spent a couple of hours on the computer this weekend; e-mailing people, and writing up another commentary or 2. Tonight is the last X-Files, and I need to go to the grocery again. This was a fun week...

Sunday, May 12th, 2002

Sunday night, Brent called me out to close down Famous Sam's. Jayson showed up, and we went over to Gallagher's for a couple of golf games. UUC (that's me) wound up getting -20 on Kiwi; that's my best on the 2003 models. Home late to a quiet house; I had no idea how mad she was at me. I was at work early on Monday; broke and sober... At home, Static Girl (she's still pissed) and I both got cranky with each other (that's only happened like one other time ever). She went out; so I went out. But things would get better on Tuesday...
I was the first person with 2 sales on Tuesday, yay! And there was some interesting shit in the paper, which led to me scribbling about

Breeding Stupidity

(it's nice when the female-bashing is done FOR me) I stayed 30 minutes late, did plasma, took Rift to Arby's, then TCBY, and did laundry. Wednesday; I'm back on the shitty Dillard's program again. Home for PTI, veggie machoroni, and West Wing. Thursday, work, plasma, Crooked veggies, and home for nachos. I read in the paper that there's a Rush tribute band in Tempe called "Freewill"; cool.The city of Phoenix is trying to figure out a way to slow down our litter problem, and then my drive home on Thursday allowed me to witness 3 fat spic bitches littering; and that led to:

The Bigger Picture

Stayed in on Thursday night for more nachos. Friday, on time again, Dillard's work, sales, home. Fantastic exercise, out and home early. Slept fairly well. Saturday was Static Girl's birthday, and I had nothing for her. She bought her own cake and coffee (mine, too). I took her to drop off her car for work, and then I ran off to help Brent and Amy move. All day. I promised girlfriend a better NEXT Saturday, and maybe she won't kill me.

Sunday, May 5th, 2002 (Cinco de Mayo)

Monday I worked. Couldn't sleep Sunday night, oh well. After I went to work Monday morning, there were police helicopters and a Haz-Mat truck here on 9th street, about 200 yards from my apartment. I know this because Monday was the first day of TPG running our neighborhood Arby's (supposedly it was just a small fire at the ST factory). At work, I harrassed Jenny like I was psycho. At home I cooked awesome pasta, exercised, and went to see our new Arby's manager. Then I drank and played pinball (I've got 44 million on Junkyard, the high score is 101 million, stay tuned). On Tuesday I made 3 sales before anybody else had 2, all while e-mailing Mindy in S. Carolina. My ear hurt bad, and later I would go to bed before 7pm (couldn't stay asleep, but I tried). Wednesday my ear didn't hurt as much, and I was dentist-bound. The old bitch with half a nose refused to give me my free cleaning, so I walked out. Obviously I was going to have to go drinking. So I did. It was fun, and I came home early with a nice buzz; not too messed up. I even went to bed early--trying to go to work the next day. Around 2:30 am, I apparently sleptwalked, again, into Static's room and that (rightfully) pissed her off. I don't know anything about this, see? So on Thursday morning, Static Girl left me a note saying that she had broken up with me (And really, who could blame her?) and I was now only her roommate. Bummer. So I played GT2 for about an hour and contemplated suicide. I decided that killing myself on a Thursday was a bad idea, and opted for pocket money--which would become gas money. Static Girl decided to be nice to me, and she kissed back, so maybe we're back together--shit I don't know. Friday I ran a tad late in the morning, but made record drive time to work (I left 6 minutes late, but got there 3 minutes early). Worked all day like a good boy, mailed shit to S. Carolina, and came home to more GT2. Rift and I ordered pizza for dinner (like a real boyfriend/girlfriend pair would), and it was all sweet. We snuggled! I went out for golf; it was cheap with Al and Jon helping to fund it all, and came home with the intent to go to work Saturday. Unfortunately, the pizza came back to haunt me. No work. So I slept in, and ate more pizza, with jalapenos(!), for breakfast. Bill disappeared, or we might be swimming in his backyard pool. Brent and a not-nearly-as-distressed Amy should come over soon. I need to do laundry.

Sunday, April 28th, 2002

Where am I? Monday? That was days ago. Shit. Oh yeah, I slept very little, and then had 12 sales at work; led the room (baby!). No water at home, but Static exercised me. I went out and drank. Tuesday, I barely made it to work. I was mumbling about aliens and idiots. Somebody stole my Safeway cola again, those fuckers. I got pocket money--which looks alot like beer money, and went out. I scored a -18 of Golden Tee ON THE CARD! Unfortunately, I closed down the bar. And that means...No work Wednesday. But I had set my alarm, slept through my alarm, and awoke to Static Girl waving my clock radio over her head--about to bash my skull in with it (And, honestly, who could blame her?). She stopped short of clock-crushing me, slammed it down, screamed a few cuss words, and then walked off mumbling (she is so awesome). I rolled around, slept in, and went to the dentist at 3. They say that I need $700 worth of shit (Is that all?), and I'll have to pay $45 for my "free" cleaning. We'll see. So I had to go out drinking again; certainly you see the logic here. There? Somewhere.
Thursday I was on time, in a great mood, and ready to sell. Unfortunately, the phones were a little messed up. Oh well. Kids hanging out in front of our door at work inspired me to do another female-bashing commentary. Unlike the other 2 so far in 2002 that use facts and logic to show how dumb typical females are, this one is almost purely emotional. It's called:

Adoption is No Option

Big pocket money, and that led to all-you-can-eat ribs at Bill Johnson's. Vegetaria-not this night. Then we went to Savers, and I bought a golf shirt. Also, on the way home, I pissed off TPG's wife (I cannot help that she is what she is). Home to watch yesterday's West Wing and Southpark. Rift says that I wake her up, and I make her sleepy. So I guess I'm like caffein and codeine; allright. "Taste the golden spray"; I didn't make that up, but I wish I did.
Then it becomes Friday. I worked well, and even got moved back (this is very good) to selling DSL! I had some great conversations, and at the end of the day I was making a sale when our phones had just been shut down--so I lost the client; but that's okay. I love selling DSL, and when I am on the program--I LOVE my job. When I'm selling newspapers I wonder about working for Discover Card, Aftermarket (Carleton Sheets), or selling the paper that I read everyday. Hmmm. Friday night comes after great exercise with Static Girl (she bought me a new toothbrush), and I wore my new golf shirt out to rule the local golf scene. Pinball news? My Medieval Madness pinball has been taken away, replaced by Junkyard. Junkyard is a pretty good game that I will have to re-learn. Saturday at 2 pm has me typing here and listening to the Asia "Alpha" album. Later on Saturday, I bought some green save-the-earth cleaner from a cool door-to-door salesman named Bradley--who was from Cobb county (GA). So I raid my emergency fund to go party golf again. I ruled, and oopsidentally wound up closing down the bar. But I made it to work Sunday morning only 2 minutes late! Worked, got gas, shopped for nacho making food, made nachos, and now it's Sunday afternoon at home in the cool and dark.

Sunday, April 21st, 2002

What a week! Monday morning, at work, I got 4 sales in the first hour. 4! I completely ruled the room; my voice was upbeat, my mood was good; I was unstoppable. I even trained this new black guy, Eric, after lunch. It was payday, so I bought groceries (soy milk). Another physical impossibility, a can of soda de-rung itself, jumped off the counter, and exploded on the carpet. I was upset, but got over it. Went out with Brent and Amy; we scored 2nd place in music trivia at a different Famous Sam's, too. I came home early.
Tuesday morning, I'm training Eric again. He stole my soda out of the fridge, and tried to say that it came out of the coke machine. I remained calm, and let supervisor Manuel take care of moving Eric away from me. After pocket money, I got veggies, and came home for veggie nachos. Went out for a little golf, met pro Casey; he's good. Stayed too late, and went to work over 2 hours late on Wednesday.
Wednesday night was supposed to be a big party night; Brent and Bill, the Coyotes first playoff game, Dan Majerle's last Suns game. I went to where I was supposed to be, and had a blast. Nobody else showed, but that's their fucking problem. My mistake was going to my Sam's after leaving the other Sam's. I drank 2 more beers, and smoked a whole pack of Natural Harvests. By the time I got home, I was bad off. I had every intention to go to work on Thursday, but the puking and shitting of 8 days of vegetarianism, and being strungover; it was all just too much. No work. But I did get pocket money, more crooked cucumbers, fixed my phone, and ate a chicken whopper. Vegetarianism is good, but we have to keep it all in perspective.

Now it's Thursday night, and I've been updating a few small writing projects.
The Musical Section has some new stuff in it, especially the instrumentals. However, I call the Musical Section a "work in progress", so you should do your own checking up on it monthly.
Also, it was only a matter of time before I would rip "XM" radio a new asshole. I did it politely; with Satellite Radio. That was fun.

And there's this guy from Arizona who was in prison, on Death Row, and now DNA evidence has cleared him. You can't go one day in Phoenix without another story about this guy, so here's mine for Ray Krone.

The best thing I read last week was a story about Harvard Business School women who don't get asked out enough, awww.

So now I need to work Friday, at least 4 hours on Saturday, and the entire 4 hour shift on Sunday. I learned a valuable lesson Wednesday night/Thursday morning, now let's see if it will stick...

Worked Friday, just as we planned. Had Deep Purple's "Perfect Stranger" in my head all day, and Jenny sat over on the Westside with us. Friday night I partied, Brent's Amy hooked us up with the killer Fazzoli's, and I came home early...
Unfortunately, after waking up, we rationalized NOT going to work on Saturday. It became a party day by 2 pm. I didn't even want to play the new pinball machine, Brent made me, can't even remember the name, but wound up getting the high score on it; 62 million. Home at just after 8:15, darn. 2 plates of veggie nachos, 4 jalapeno peppers, and bed by 9:30.
My girlfriend is pissed.
Up for work Sunday morning, yay. Worked with Jenny, read the free paper. After work, it's the 3 lb thrill of a Super Burrito at La Tolteca with TPG. Gus ran a red light, and tried to get me in a fight; we were hungry...But not as hungry as narul, who finished his burrito. I brought a pound home for Sunday night. Caught up with Brent, called Mom, and went to go play some more (I need more recreation in my life.). Static Queen should be burning my baseball cards by now, but she just waved me off. Home by 8 pm, and FINALLY we get the cold shoulder from Static Girl. She can barely stay on the warped tour with me through the Lone Gunmen dying on a weak X-Files. She won't even look at me; no kiss, no g'night, nothing. So it probably didn't help that I giggled through an episode of wakeboarding Jackass, and now I'm heartburning for you at 11 pm. Should I go in there and just start smooching on her? Maybe not.

Sunday, April 14th, 2002

Monday started rough, with only an hour of sleep. Then I fixed the coffee maker at work, there has been a superviser shuffle/office politics, whatever. Monday night, stems and resin, out with Al again. Tuesday, after an AL night, there is no work. But I went and got fresh veggies for health nachos, watched Gilmore Girls with TPG, and we finally turned our A/C on. Out to golf; got a -19 on the new Golden Tees. Wednesday I ruled at work, mailed Dad's stuff off, exercised, then stayed in and slept. Thursday we became phone "surveyors" for the Sandia Indians of New Mexico (no offense to my regularly high above average job, but I'm a salesman, not a goddamn surveyor), pocket money, and then we got back in the garden. Friday was the last day of surveying, thank God; I'm rationing $9 to last until Monday. Saturday Brent got fired from his job, so we had to go get "unemployed high" and play golf. Don't ask. I came home early, and have been half-assing at Gran Turismo--because I left the game on for a week (oops), and now my mega memory card is busted. Sunday is today; I got up before 8 am, a free Sunday paper for us! There's a month of local news in this one paper; babies dumped, bodies found, civilians caught in gang crossfire, and did you hear about the Auto Zone shoot-out? Never mind.

Monday, April 7th, 2002

Monday we worked after the early (but extended) party with Brent at Chantilly's. I cooked killer pasta and stayed in, but I tossed and turned all night. Tuesday had work, pocket money, veggies from the Crooked Sky, and then we went out and partied golf-style with Al, hard. Strungover Wednesday--no work. Later we did 4 hours of bar time after a little yardwork at Bill's house. I beat the Masters at golf twice! It cost me a very upset girlfriend, but she got over it. Thursday was double duty, bought Dad's CD at Whorehouse music--because CDGB's apparently closed last month. Brent said let's party, so we did. While there, John from Troy Amusement came and upgraded both golf machines to 2003. Partying broke is tough, and my sinuses were clogged until Friday afternoon. Friday morning we scraped change to get coffee and a late Snickers bar breakfast (don't call me pathetic). I worked well on my programs, read the paper, and am up to page 4 of my letter to Mom. Came home for pasta, great exercise, and then off to the bar! While waiting for the golf games to clear, I won 2 games of pinball because I am the man. It's now a Starship Saturday morning with strong coffee, bite me...Later, it was time to play the one other new golf course I had not played, and I got -12 on it, too. Kick ass. 2 am Saturday night had drunk nachos with fresh jalapenos and fresh garlic. My guts are still swimming in circles at 2 pm Sunday. I was thinking about a 3 lb. burrito, but now I may settle for clam chowder; damn I'm hungry.

Monday, April 1st, 2002

Well, let's see. On Monday, I worked, and then went out drinking and golfing with Brent. I wasn't even really hungover on Tuesday, but I didn't feel like working--so I didn't. However, I did get pocket money, some fresh vegetables, and then went out for dinner with Paul. It is important to note that I had a Big Montana and a Jamocha shake. I was so full that I couldn't go out; so I went out. Wow. On Wednesday I was really tired. And, for real news now, 3 of my co-workers were "suspended" on Wednesday because their social security numbers don't match up between their cards and their passports. Stupid, huh? Oh, and Tabi is pregnant. Aren't women cute? I had to go out. Thursday I was groggy, but I went to work. Got some pocket money, later the bugs bit, and I partied hard. And late. So I went to work Friday with another regular "fun" hangover, and everybody could tell:

Supervisor: "Clark, you seem a little hungover today."
Clark: "There is nothing little about this hangover, sir."

But I did work, and was actually 2nd best on my program. Friday night I went out (gee...). Saturday slept till noon. Then I went and did some Gus maintenance. It felt so good that I went out! Sunday was the awesome lunch with TPG and the Mrs. at La Tolteca. Let's see; if I go out Sunday night, then it's 7 nights in a row. Sam's was closed; awww. But Chantilly's was open, and I went, whooooop! So, Static is pissed; can you blame her? All of a sudden, it's fucking April; people are playing baseball, and I gotta change my nasty sheets. Sidebar time!

Sunday, March 24th, 2002

Monday I don't even vaguely remember. But I surely went to the bar Monday night. Tuesday morning was a shit-puking nightmare in the shower, so I blew off everything and slept till noon. Yum. Wednesday was not really memorable either, but I did go to work. Woo. Man, my memory really is shot. Thursday was yesterday, but it may as well have been the '70's--'coz I don't remember it. Shit.

Friday at work was okay. But the real fun was the ride home. On the classic rock station, my afternoon commute was: the Outlaws "Green Grass and High Tides", Elton John's version of "Pinball Wizard", and the studio version of Fleetwood Mac's "Oh Well" (again)! It's hard to NOT sing aloud poorly with that kind of background noise.

I imagine that much golf was played this week; lots of party time with Brent, too. The 12-hour, $50 party on Saturday was certainly dizzying. Jeez, and I still made it to work on Sunday morning. IM2COOL.

Sunday, March 17th, 2002

A week late, but I did finish my list of 50 CD's that I'd take with me on the spaceship
(the idea was presented in Sidebar 35):

50 CD's to take with you

Okay. Monday was fun. I took my coffee can of nickels and dimes to the bank to deposit $7.25 so that I hopefully will not overdraw. Work was slow. At home, I cut up an awesome cucumber from the Crooked Sky place, and I steamed the broccoli from there, too. Static Girl appreciated the effort. Bill called and said 'let's go get drunk and play golf', so I did. His treat.

Tuesday I ate lunch at Jack in the Box from the coffee can; whooop. After work, I came back here to see my new bank branch at the Safeway. I now have a crush on the lead teller, Nicole. She wants me. To hell with her fiance. At home I'm eating yummy turkey sandwiches with fresh lettuce from the Crooked Sky garden; and a baked potato from there too. I like these no-toxin vegetables; so does my tummy.

On Wednesday things were interesting. When I put on my clothes in the morning, I grabbed my lighter out of my sweat pants pocket. Then, at work, I couldn't find my lighter. When I got home, my lighter was in my sweat pants pocket again. I am sure that YOU have some kind of a simple explanation for this, but I don't want to hear it.
At work, they have a couple of us doing this Jacksonville, FL program. Pretty soon, we're calling people in Georgia and Tennessee. It's kind of hard to sell a Jacksonville newspaper in Tennessee, but we tried. This was kind of a wasted day--if you ask me. At home, I boiled up the 4 Crooked Sky potatos. Yum. And my memory was fading in and out; I couldn't remember the fantasy/reality seperation on a few things. We exercised, and then I went out and ruled golf + pinball (12-2, 12-2, and 12-1; -17, -16, and -14).

Thursday I made it to work on time and everything. I kicked ass at my program, and I got some pocket money, too. Now I have to decide between going out or not...I went out.

Friday morning came way too early, and I had to go to work late. Oh yes, I apparently slept-walked into Static Girl's bathroom Thursday night at 3:30 am, and ran the water for a few minutes, then left without turning off the light or fan. So I'm having lost/found issues, 'glitching' in the memory, and sleep-walking again, too (YES!). My life is anything but boring. I want to sleep-walk outside, and eventually move up to sleep-driving, but we'll just take it one day at a time for now. Memory glitching is kind of low-key, but the lost/found stuff is excellent! I'll keep you posted.

Because we got paid Friday, I shopped and cooked veggie machoroni for dinner. We had a wonderful exercise session, and then I went out. Saw Bill, took him home, saw Brent for a minute, too. I didn't punch anybody. Partied well, then came home for resin bangs on the balcony. I was so ripped that I deserved to sleep-walk, but it didn't happen. I'm still groggy at 2:45 Saturday afternoon.

Somewhere in this week, I wrote another commentary about stupid women. It's not called "Stupid Women", but it could be. I have even used that title before, so this time it would have to be "Stupid Women 2", or "More Stupid Women"; whatever. The fact of the matter is that women are not exactly brainiacs when it comes to family planning, okay? The current Bush president wants to 'promote marriage among poor people', or maybe that was just the title of a photo-op where he was trying to get poor people to think that he cares about them. I wrote a response:

Marriage and Poverty

Saturday night I went out, had a blast huffing resin, ruled golf, and almost sang karaoke. In fact I did sing louder than 3 of the people singing karaoke. I would have done it for one beer; that's all, one beer. Their loss.

Sunday we went and saw the "Ice Age" movie, which was really good. Then when we came home I immediately hooked up with Brent--because we needed to talk. We did, but it really pissed Static Girl off how I just dropped her and went off to play. I felt pretty bad, too, even worse when Brent and I couldn't fit that damn couch in the van. So I came home for laundry and a Safeway run. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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