Old Personal News

(starting 6-22-03)

Tuesday, July 8th, 2003

We last left our story on Monday afternoon, with "Okay, and now I have to get busy and load all this shit up, and then head up to TPG's house to help him pack for his work trip tomorrow--'coz I'm a good best friend."
Yes, we went to help TPG to pack, but we both wound up drinking green Kool-Aid and obsessing over lost legal documents instead. I went home and to bed. Up and working
Tuesday morning, after rough traffic on the way. Good day at work; we earned an early payday. After work, I saw another bad wreck on the highway, and gave another $2 to some homeless guy at the highway exit--I definitely made his day. To pocket money; not as quiet as before, but not as loud as in the past. Post-pocket money, we find out that the Crooked Sky Garden will close for good on Thursday 7-3-03; a bummer, yes, but we also knew this was going to happen (the Crooked Sky Produce Stand is still planned to open in August, at 83rd Ave. and Bethany Home). Bought some veggies, and on the way home decided to get my head shaved (it's the writing season, and I can do any damn fool thing I want to), then came home to take 2 loads of laundry (including both 1993 PAPA pinball tournament shirts--found during Sunday's closet-cleaning) up to narul's BACHELOR pad, and we did some kitchen cleaning for him. Before going to his house, though, we DID go to Carl's Jr. and get the Guacamole and Bacon $6 Hamburger combo (some people "fall off" of their diet plan--like dragging a foot through the "pool" of junk food; I go ahead and do a sloppy back-flip/painful splash into that damn fool, I mean "damn pool"). At Carl's Jr. we heard Bob Seger's "Main Street", and that was yummy. So now I going to need to sweat while I clean up at TPG's house. Lucky for us, his house has not been clean in 3 years (ask him--I'm not trying to be mean). Tried to call LoriMac back in GA, twice, but missed her. Finally got home at 10 pm to find that Al is having a rough time, and he needs me up at the bar. I helped him out well, very well, but didn't stay as responsible as I needed to. I really wanted to get up
Wednesday morning, but I just couldn't. Girlfriend came in at 6:30 am, not mad--just concerned. I called in to work, and it's not THAT bad. The room is full, so I can't work today now anyway. I will get written up, and lose my attendance bonus for 2 weeks, but I still have the job (yay). Static Girl is not happy, but relatively okay with how well I jumped on this problem as soon as I got up. Then I got to go back to sleep until 11 am, which I needed. Now we're updating, correcting, enriching, and fixing grammatical errors (bite me) from rushing to upload this thing on Monday (What day is it again?). See; this week I'm now going to have Monday, Wednesday and Friday off. I USED to work ONLY those 3 days; 16-hour days; that's part of why I'm so screwed up. Then I looked in the mirror and my head's shaved, wow; no wonder I missed work today. What's next; tattoos? And then I called Rachel, 20 yr. old Rachel, just to talk to her. And she's all like "I think you're the coolest guy in the world; really funny, smart, and you like music, but you're too old for me to date." I was giggling, quietly, (she KNOWS I have a girlfriend; I've TOLD her about living with MY awesome Static Girl) and it dawned on me that she might not be quite as bright as I first thought. So I let her down easy (awww), and maybe I'll just not call her anymore. And now it's time for "Bicycle Song" under my new headphones; Orbit me, baby! Lather, rinse, repeat; "Oh Mary, won't you hear my song? I make it up as I go 'long." I figured out that they get alot louder if you take the "surround" mode off during headphone play; now is that a "discovery", or is that a "duh"? I don't know; where did my hair go? "Lather, rinse, repeat" made me think of Everclear; so now we're Afterglowing. Eventually, we will have a nice veggie dinner, and pretend it's Wednesday; it might even BE Wednesday, but I've got bigger problems than trying to finger out what day it is (ya think?). Shit. Where was I? "Spin around, fall down, do it again"...Dinner was a complete success, and some suggle, and then I wrote out This Modern World, because it allows me to jab at my Mom, this world, and the common mentality IN this world--and I still look all cool and smart. It wasn't enough though, because then I had to type out Why Don't You Have Any Kids? I think you should be proud of me, that here on my extra (and expensive) day off, I chose to stay home and write. Other than that, kiss my ass. To sleep, and up
Thursday morning for work. Remember that my Sector 5 Supervisor is having her own problems at work, so maybe there is NO emphasis on my only working 4 days this week. I'm sure that it's recorded, but I'm not getting any extra lectures or anything. What a day! We all got sales early, so we were all relaxed. I even wound up getting the last sale of the day, cool. After work, to pocket money (and I was hilarious), and then I'm home to get ready to go out. Good news/bad news; this will be the night that TPG meets Al, finally, and we'll drink obnoxiously and have tons of fun. The shit part is that all the JP high scores have been cleared. No problem though; my first 2 "ball 2"'s both earned a billion, and my 3rd game was 600 million, so I'm back with the top 3 IMMEDIATELY. Then we golfed, hard. Fun. I spent $30, and TPG spent $5. Slept till noon on
Friday, Independence Day 2003. I was rolling around in my underwear when I finally got to talk to TPG; he convinced me to come out to the Twitchell's house for the cookout. On the way, I tried to clean my sunglasses at the QT, and that was just wasted effort. Mr. T. is looking rough, going through his chemotherapy and all, but he's fighting it. Great food. On the way home, classic rocking, I named "So Into You" by ARS after just 2 notes; got home around 4 with a whole new attitude toward this business, and good for me. Incredible snuggle with my awesome woman, and then we're getting ready for fireworks in Glendale. I drove; and on the classic rock station we heard Bob Seger's "Hollywood Nights"; that's 2 Seger classics this week. We set up camp early, and were all romantic in the field and stuff. We got out easily, and had a business talk on the way home; I think she understands now. Home to listen to the "Top 10 Freakin' Favorites" on MY Edge 103.9 Independent radio station--Static Girl had not yet heard "My United States of Whatever" by Liam Lynch. We fixed that little problem; it was #2, by the way. I made lunch, cooked ice, and cleaned the kitchen while she sat in that gorgeous little purple "Dink" shirt; DAMN she is so cute. Tucked her in, and it's almost bedtime for the kid who will be getting up at 4:30. Happy July 4th, everybody!
Yes, up Saturday for work at 6 am. I was in a good mood, and this was going to be a great day. I yelled and clapped for everybody, and made a few sales myself. I also created a budget for my world, maybe. Tower even offered to let me have tomorrow off, instead of Friday of next week. I checked the schedule for Sunday and saw that 3 people from my Sector were already off--and one of them was going to be in trouble for not being there today; so I thanked Tower for the opportunity, but informed them that my Sector NEEDED me tomorrow. It turns out that the WAY I came to this conclusion was the correct way to be looked upon as a team player--which is how I want to be thought of. I didn't realize that I was doing the right thing, but I was doing the right thing, so I guess that's good. Right? After work, to my Safeway bank to flirt with teller Dana, groceries, home to drop them off, then a gas fill-up, and another LA Fitness pricing thing for SCF. Back home for canned heat disguised as jalapenos, grapes to cool the flames, then I paid bills, and wrote a 2-page thank-you letter to Dr. Araghi. Why aren't we at the bar yet? That's a fair question...So we went to the bar; JP pinball is broken, and probably in its final days. TPG and I played Southpark pinball instead. And golf. We drank alot. Then we came home for a playful trip on the balcony, and then a double puke. Fun! A 4-hour nap, then it's time for
work on Sunday. I don't feel well. And it got worse, too. But I got to sit next to Cristal; we eventually both got multiple sales. Later, I would even give her a ride up here to Bell road. I'm tired. But TPG got me to come out and Chinese buffet with thim, then we strolled through Fry's Electronics...Strolling through Fry's was fun; it's only going to cost me about $400 to totally upgrade my computer to 2003 specs. Then I'm home to try to go to bed early. It didn't work...Stay tuned.
Up Monday morning for work. I'm ready. I wore a shirt that I couldn't fit into 2 months ago--that's always nice. The day started well enough; I wasn't having any problems. Then I started writing a note back to S. Cackalackey. Figured I'd better get a sale before I got caught writing a letter, so I got one. Then I'm writing, and I got another one. Kept writing, and got another one. Then the goal is to get 6 leads--and you get a nice new shirt. I want a shirt, but I've only got 3 leads. So I kept on writing. Then I got 4, kept writing, and then...I became a STAR with my first 5-Lead day ever! At 1 pm, the announcement came that since NOBODY had 6 leads, 5 would be enough for a shirt. So I got a gold star, a shirt, and wrote a 3-page letter at work today; go me! Wow. Talk about motivation! I found the secret! Who should I write a letter to tomorrow? On the way home, I stopped at North Phoenix Health to get a price sheet to keep working out there. Came home and set up an oil change, also a maintenance trip for my bathroom. Then I steamed a pound of broccoli and made salad for my veggie girlfriend. Watched Highlander and Pet Psychic with her. Surprisingly good snuggle, and now I'm getting ready to go up to TPG's house. Later. Went to check on JP pinball, it's still not working correctly. Came home early, but only got 4 hours of sleep.
Up Tuesday morning, tough, but I made it. Wearing my gorgeous new shirt, too. Rough workday, but I didn't end as a zero. I was enthusiastic and a good team player. Tried to write to Mom today; not much luck. Tired; but I only fell asleep 3 or 4 times. Then for some pocket money, where I only fell asleep 3 or 4 times. It dawned on me that I might need some sleep. On the drive home, my 103.9 played "Rearranged" by Limp Bizket, and it gave me chills. Home to find girlfriend, took her with me to flirt with Krista while we faxed to Workers Compensation (How many guys get to take their girlfriends with them to flirt with the cutie at the Mailboxes place? I'm pretty lucky, too.). And then we went to the sign shop to order something I can't pronounce. Then to Subway; I tricked her into buying (she must have liked Krista, too). At home; I'm tired. Now you would think that after yawning and falling asleep all day long that I'd be ready to go to the bar by now; but maybe not. (yawn) Bed by 9; that's my plan. Talked to Mom; she says 'hi'. Also talked to TPG, and I'm sure he said 'hi' too. Does anybody else want to say 'hi'? No? Okay, then let's get ready for bed. Oh wait, Al said 'hi', too. G'night.





Last Day of June (30th), 2003

This starts on Monday night, where I knew I would be going out. The only question was if I was going to be alone in Jurassic Park, or with Al--on the Golden Tee fairways. Al came out to play; we played 6 games and I won 5. Al is my student, and I have taught him well. When he makes a great shot, I yell "MY student!". So I didn't get to play the fixed pinball machine. Came home, semi-responsible sort of, and wound up not being able to do anything but sleep. Slept in, until 10 am
Tuesday morning. Made coffee for the first day in weeks, yum. And I thought about what to do, housework-wise, on my day off. This is when I remembered how clean our apartment is. ALL I could do was about 5 minutes of touch-up cleaning in my bathroom; wow. I wonder; how many people have to actually LOOK for what housework they can do? Snicker. So I decide to go get some pocket money--good for me. Weighed 216; kick ass. My book was great reading, too. "Most men fail up until the age of 40...", hey I can relate with that. Home to make garlic, serrano pepper, black bean clam chowder; and eat ALL of it. I wanted to go to the bar and play pinball; I resisted doing this in the hope of putting that energy elsewhere; it's like diverting sexual energy--all successful people do it. Talked to girlfriend about how great she is, and she just rolled her eyes (yeah, but she still wants me). I didn't go to the bar; on my day off, not at all. Hello? Does anybody else see a problem here? I had a long and excellent talk with TPG about stuff, too, but I forgot to ask him why I wasn't at the bar. Damn; having Tuesday off was really weird. It's 11 pm, do you know where all of your personalities are? I'm missing a few of mine apparently; maybe they're at the bar. Did that rhyme? Are we writing? I have issues. Up till midnight, then a nap before
4:30 Wednesday morning. Up and into the shower. My nose wasn't running, wow, I can't remember the last time I had a dry nose. So I felt pretty good. To work, and it started slowly, but then picked up nicely. I wound up being Mr. Fun Guy, making people laugh by talking about cross-dressing and stuff. Then the day ended, and I had a good phone call cut off by the Tower. I let Tower know, with NO due respect, that I was unhappy. And then I stomped out. Okay; in backtrack, this was not the best move I could have made. But hey, I'm passionate about working there--and they're going to have to deal with it. Home to make yummy salad dinner for Static Girl. Stopped off to see physical therapy Mike on the way home, too. During and after dinner, oh it is so rare that I get to say anything good about tv, we watched Highlander--great show. Then I flipped over to TNT afterwards, because I thought that X-Files might be on. It was! It was the first Dwayne Barry episode; part 1 of 2. I'd only seen that one ONE TIME before--and never wanted to admit that I don't have that episode on tape (the secret's out now). Cool. Static Girl said that it was dumb, but she's pretty damn hard to impress anyway, and this episode is 9 years old now. I mean; I cook, I clean the kitchen, and I narrate a classic X-Files for her, and she just lays there like "so what?". She is so spoiled; completely ruined for other men. Thank you. I have this feeling that Al and I are going to party; call it a "hunch". Oh yeah. Al has ideas to make money in Vegas. Hmmm.
Crashed after the cops chased us home Wednesday night, forgot to reset my alarm--so girlfriend had to try to come and wake me Thursday morning--that cost me $20. No work (duh), but got up and did laundry to Roseanne reruns, fried potatos and garlic, and then went for pocket money (side note: I weigh 214.7 on the digital scale). Came home to soon find that I GOT MY BEST FRIEND BACK TODAY. He threw her out, so I had to go to a meeting with, and talk to my best friend TPG. This would lead to a bar run, because DJ IS/WAS NOT EVEN HIS KID--bombs dropping everywhere, yes, AT THE BAR--TOGETHER AGAIN we killed pinball and golf (showed him how it now takes 1.003 billion for my #6 score), he won pinball games and got eagles on golf (MY student!) and we got out at midnight. Home for a smoke, and we need to sleep soon. Got to sleep, barely, and got up at 4:30 for
Friday morning. Woo. A little hungover, but still in a pretty good mood. I'm not in trouble with the Tower, and I'm not in trouble with supervisor Jamie. I missed our BEST salesman throwing a fit and quitting on Thursday, and I got a couple of sales on Friday. Then I pissed off the room manager Amy because I got a little loose with a customer on a phone call. I WAS WRONG, okay? He was already our customer, was going to be our customer again--we were setting up another appointment, and it was because of this that I became a little extra "conversational"--I had no idea I was being recorded. But IT DOESN'T MATTER because I was wrong. I got pulled into an office by the floor boss and told that I SHOULD be fired, and that I WOULD be suspended except for the luck that the big boss wasn't there. She said that she liked me, and because of that I just had to sign some paper that said she chewed me out, and I don't ever want to go through that again. Came home, very tired, to cook for my Static Girl. I started falling asleep, she threatened to throw water on me, and we misunderstood each other, so I had a fit and went to bed. Sleep was my friend, too. Sorry I missed snuggle, and beer with my recently re-acquired best friend, but the scraggily cute kid who cooks needed a nap. I feel better now, at 2 am, even though I have to get back up in 2 hours. Yawn.
Up Saturday, no problem, and to work. Great day on the phone; I didn't get in trouble (well maybe a little), but I got a little more "advice" from the floor manager--on proper procedure. Okay. After work, I got Rachel's phone number (yeah!...That's Rachel from Aventis--now she works with me). Came home to find out that I'm fixing TPG up on a blind date. Not a problem; I'll go to the bar early, and make sure that the way is clear. Um, yeah. The way was clear, way clear, almost Everfuckingclear. Let's update the new high scores on JP; 1.642, 1.488, 1.410, 1.379, 1.295, and 1.282 billion. These scores are now so completely obnoxious that I don't even believe them, but they're all up there. It wound up being another 5 or 6 hours of pinball therapy for me, and I was playing host on a blind date. I thought it was Sunday night, and that a 9:30 pm "last call" would save me--and get me home and to bed before midnight. A great plan, but it was only Saturday night. If I drink over a gallon of beer, does that make me an alcoholic? Hang on, I'm doing the math now; okay, if I drink 170 ounces of beer, and still make it to work by 7 am Sunday morning, does that make me a "productive drunk"? Well guess what?!
Pretty? No. But I made it to work at 6:50 am Sunday. A $30 night at the bar, and then I'm Mr. 'Sponsible on the Lord's day. And thank the big, happy, good God himself that I wasn't the only one hungover in there; I blended very well with the crowd. By around 10 am, I even had my full voice and sense of humor--yeah, it amazed me, too. Enough bragging; is this the part where we promise that we'll never drink again? Yeah, whatever. I'll be drinking and smoking and playing that damn pinball machine before the sun goes down tonight--I know me. So I'm home Sunday afternoon, trying to update stuff here. Stabbing Westward under duct-taped Sony V600 headphones; now you might think that I'd tire of wearing headphones all the time; apparently not. Some people wear sunglasses all day; me? I wear headphones for 10 hours a day; and if I can't hear you talking, then I don't even have to pretend like I'm listening to you--it ain't like my woman is going to be bugging me with pointless verbal dribble; thank you. Grr. Then it became a closet-cleaning, to find NO headphones, but some shirts. And we're at the bar before dusk--like some sick prediction. Go me. TPG was there, too, and this time there really WAS a last call at 9:30 pm, and that sucked. The BEST part of this night at the bar was when daddy Brett and his 2 sons Kyle and Shawn watched me get 1.256 billion on JP, and they were all like 'well that's certainly a high score', and I was like 'nope'. TPG giggled, as he is prone to do. I figured out a way to work with JP shutting down at 10 pm though, and I was appreciated. Home to contemplate my night and my life--both of which have improved greatly lately. Huh? Woke up at
9:30 am Monday to the sounds of unskilled labor mowing the grass around here--they were so pathetic that it was kind of funny. So I drank my 2 cups and thought about how to tackle my day off; productive, or 8 hours of pinball? I concluded that since I have been partying so much lately--I will be productive today. I went and gave my 2 trash bags of closet clothes to homeless Crystal and David; also gave her $2 in change, some smokes and matches, a small swiss army knife, and as I was leaving she asked me what time it was--so I gave her my watch. She's a happier camper now. Then I went to my old Infinite Marketing and signed up for the COBRA insurance continuation ($204 a month--now this is much more responsible than buying a quarter-pound, right?). Then I went to Fry's Electronics and bought a pair of Sony MDR-301LP (comfort) headphones--because my old, melted, duct-taped $150 Sony V-600's have just been worn out (hey, they had a great life). And then I got some groceries, too (some guy was walking around and singing "I want to do it with Madonna"--oh wait, that was me). Came home to cook machoroni, and then it was time to try out the new headphones. Maybe you've seen/will see (sidebar) Area 51, where I do a speech about Filter's "Hey Man Nice Shot", and how I've ALREADY listened to 4 versions of it under the old headphones today; oh yeah, all 4 versions AGAIN, under the new headphones. You may wonder why I didn't listen to "Time" first; well, this is the new me. And we are hearing "Time" now; I'll be back in 7 minutes. This is going well; these headphones aren't sound eliminating; so I can still hear the phone ring--not that I want to, but at least it was TPG calling with good news. Okay, and now I have to get busy and load all this shit up, and then head up to TPG's house to help him pack for his work trip tomorrow--'coz I'm a good best friend.





Sunday, June 22nd, 2003

So we did lots of throat preparation on Sunday night--better late than never, right? Sure. And we got some good sleep, and were up on the first alarm
Monday morning. In the shower, I could feel my voice coming back a little bit; this made me happy. In fact, by the time I got to work, I had about half of my regular voice. Half of my regular voice is more than most normal voices. I could talk with almost no pain; life was good. Then after work I went to get my final paycheck from Infinite, groceries, came home and made a dentist appointment, and then cooked machoroni (gee, imagine) in my underwear. Girlfriend was impressed! As I told her, I only need HALF of my regular voice to take over the world. If I get all of my voice back (and my teeth fixed), then I will be unstoppable. I might even smile; but don't count on it. "Germ Boy" or not, she let me kiss on her; woo-hooo. 8 pm and I'm tired. So I went to bed after trying to e-write a little. Up
Tuesday morning on the first alarm. Had time to even brew some coffee. The voice was working well enough; the voice was not my problem today. My problem today is that I am tired of being alive. Hopefully this is just a severe moodswing that will be forgotten tomorrow. But right now I am simply not enjoying this cesspool world of selfishly pathetic and ungrateful little red and brown space-wasters. And THEY all look at me like I'M the root of THEIR problems--because I'M the White Guy. Fuck them. Those greasy-assed little maggots. I didn't invite them here, and I don't owe them shit. Except for Static Girl, I would not have come home today. Fuck this world. I did not go to the bar; I was a good boy. Don't count on that tomorrow though. Grrr. To bed early...
Wednesday up and to work early. A rough beginning, and then a MUCH better day. Then to the dentist at "2:30". Big hole filled with silver. Dollar store fun, and then home to softly snuggle a headachey girlfriend, then treat her to a yummy vegetable dinner on the warped tour. Laundry, productivity, and hopefully to bed before 11. By the way, the weight loss continues to amaze even me, down to 218 for real now. Shhh. Time for bed.
Up Thursday for more work. This was an incredibly slow day with low sales production. I got a little frustrated early, but stayed motivated late. Still a zero, though. I'm all set to take tomorrow off, yay, and then we're cruising to pocket money. With regular pants and street-hiker shoes we now weigh 215.6; it's pretty amazing. Crooked Sky pictures, and we're Captain Traffic Coordinating home. Al started early, too early for me. But I saved some lives and got to the bar by 6:30. JP's "A" letter is broken again, so you can't activate rooms--but that doesn't stop me from getting 854 million with NO rooms (a brilliant multi-ball). The #6 score is now 852 million; good luck (especially with no rooms). Overall, I felt a little queasy at the bar (perhaps it was all that life-saving beforehand), so I came home before 10 pm (You did what?). Still awake girlfriend was pretty impressed. I balconied, Gran Turismo'd, and did not puke (nice). Bed by 11:30. Up
Friday at 9:30, after having woke up at 3, 4, and 5 (that's my new responsibility--making sure we were really off today). If JP was good, then we'd already be playing it. Since JP is not working properly, we're going to be productive today (who is this guy?). TPG is gone to Utah; maybe we'll call him later. My plan is to mail, e-mail, clean, and shop. Good luck, Mr. Mystery Productive Guy--whoever the hell you are...It didn't work out. Al could only party on Friday afternoon, for just a couple of hours, so we went and played some golf (after saving lives). Came home around 8 pm, and girlfriend was ignoring me. Maybe she was mad, maybe not, but my poor girlfriend is now getting sick. Boo. I went to bed early, and got up
Saturday for work. Great work day; I just missed getting a gold star--no, seriously. Never mind. Then we got paid. Wow. Commissions are cool. So I took my paycheck to the bank after work, and got some groceries, too. Home to find out that girlfriend is now "Germ Girl". Yuck. So I made dinner, made lunch for tomorrow, and cleaned the kitchen. But don't be too impressed yet, I want to go play some pinball...I did, and got 1.282 billion. You now need 855 million to put your name up--you can do it. Home before 10 pm. Winding down now. Trouble sleeping; it's almost as if I went partying Saturday night. Up to go to work
Sunday at 7 am. Slow start; but my attitude was good. After work, it's to Wal-Mart for car stuff and green lotion tissues for my "Germ Girl"-friend's nose. Gas, and home to cook and clean some more. I am tired. I wonder how life is up at ol' TPG's house. Snicker. I went to see; but his house still looks empty--I'm the only person who's been there all weekend. So (after saving some lives) I went back to Jurassic Park, to get 1.410 billion, and 1.295, and another billion--so now you need 1.003 billion for the #6 score (I am the man, yes, but only because I have no competition). That was fun. Unfortunately I got 3 balls trapped in the "A" letter again--so my night was cut short. But I made it home and to bed before 11. Too bad I couldn't sleep. But I got up
early Monday morning to get ready for work. What a day! I had a fantastic attitude, a couple of sales, some innuendo, and made lots of people laugh. This is the type of workday that you dream about--where even the worst parts of the job are bearable--and YES, dumbass, this is a direct reference to radio before the corporate buyout of 1996. I didn't want to leave, but I did. Back to Wal-Mart for more coolant and Code Red, then home to vaccum, clean, shave, and get ready for the dentist again. I went and got 2 white fillers, I think. I don't know what they are, actually, but 2 of the 3 brown spots are now gone. And I'm off tomorrow...



Back to Homepage