Courtroom Priority Check
6 Days in Jurassic Park
Ending on 6-14-03

The Court: Over the past 6 days--never mind the beer or the golf with your buddies, how many hours were spent playing Jurassic Park pinball, alone?

The Accused: Truthfully; okay I can easily prove 17 hours, but the total might be closer to 22 or 23.

The Court: So; what you're saying is that you COULD prove 20 hours?

The Accused: Yes; yes I probably could.

The Court: Did you work during this adventure?

The Accused: Yes, I worked 4 of those 6 days, and got sick, too.

The Court: So; you averaged over 3 whole hours of pinball every day, for the past 6 days--even while sick--and working?

The Accused: Okay; sure--yes I did.

The Court: The Court is going to cut you some slack for the fact that you don't need to talk to play pinball; you get to rest your voice, for the most part.

The Accused: Right; that was one of the reasons I chose to do it this week. All other bar games require some verbal acknowledgement--but not pinball.

The Court: Wasn't this week a critical week; your 2nd week at a new job?

The Accused: Yes; this was an excellent week to rest the voice.

The Court: Is this Jurassic Park pinball machine in a bar with beer and cigarette smoke?

The Accused: Yes.

The Court: Do you think that going to the bar is a good idea when you are sick?

The Accused: LOOK; I don't know exactly what you're trying to get to here, okay? The writing season has begun, and I'm writing. My girlfriend is amazing, and I'm writing about her. I'm sick, and I go to the bar to help stay away from my girlfriend--because she's a skinny, non-smoking vegetarian--and she usually catches whatever I have, and suffers more. She has NOT caught my bug yet, and thank goodness, BECAUSE I have been staying away from her--while still appreciating her. I think you should go and ask her if she senses a change in the overall disposition of her boyfriend; I BET that she does, and I bet that she's happy with it.

The Court: Is it true that you compared your girlfriend to a pinball machine?

The Accused: Yes; she's my Jurassic Park Girlfriend. And I left lots of stuff out; I never even mentioned the Raptor Pit-quick drain-FREEZE ball save (waving the flag), and I completely skipped over the "Special" staying lit for the duration of the currrent ball--even multiball. And there's

The Court: Yes, we know what you left out. It was still an effective commentary.

The Accused: Thank you. So you see me--with a new job, being productive at the new job, writing during writing season--writing everyday in fact, appreciating my woman; and I can still average 3+ hours a day of pinball--pinball that is now forever linked to thoughts of my ninja-stealth-alien-girlfriend. Right. And why exactly am I in court today?

The Court: You have not been taking your present sickness seriously; the bar is NO place to be while you are not 100%. You should be using your 2 days off to heal, and to, uh, write.

The Accused: But I am writing! I figured it out; you're jealous! I'm sick; I'm going to the bar; I'm writing/appreciating my woman--I've got it all. And all you can do is sit back, shake your head and say 'damn, he's on a tear, isn't he?'; and it drives you nuts, doesn't it? Who's your daddy?

The Court: The Accused will not badger The Court.

The Accused: Okay; I'm sorry. I just want the record to show that I am doing it all right now; ALL of it. I'm working, writing, partying, healing, AND appreciating the world all around me. Perhaps The Court would do better to go harass a less-productive member of society.

The Court: You can't average over 3 hours a day of pinball.

The Accused: That's right; YOU can't. In fact, no normal person could. But for me, this is nothing. This...this is just 6 days in the park, baby.

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