I've been sitting on this thing for 2 months, afraid of offending people when I put it up. Maybe I'd get in trouble at work; oooo. Yeah, well fuck them, and fuck you.
"Writing is what makes my brain flash; work is merely distraction. I don't sit around and think of ways to do my job better; fuck that. Work is lucky that I show up when I do..."
Hey look; employment. Maybe I will work MOST of my assigned shifts. However, I don't work "extra", and don't choose to work overtime. Also; I won't be covering shifts for other people. You will not see me working on my day off, either. You're lucky I come to this place at all, to extend the minimum duties for some hourly wage, and share my perspective and voice with you. Give me a choice to either work or go home, and see which I choose.
So; I won't be 'coming in early to get a handle on things', and I won't be 'staying late to get organized for tomorrow' either. I don't care, and won't be caring anytime soon. Oh; so you don't appreciate my attitude? Okay, chief--let's try a different angle here. I will fucking leave, RIGHT NOW--if you want. I can be either on my exercise ball, or (even better) AT THE BAR in 15 minutes. Would that make you feel better? I'll even hand you a metaphor--don't drop it: Do you want to BE the surgeon, Chief, and "cut" MY cancer from THIS organism? Kick ass; let's do it. Do I look scared to you? Do you sense that I NEED this employment thing to sustain my life? Because, sir, I do not.
Ambition? Plans? Goals? I leave those for the sheep who feel they still have something to prove. I don't have anything else to prove. I created self-therapy, and did perpetual motion. Can't prove it now, but I nailed both the medical, and nutritional conspiracies before the age of 10. I played "inductive" and "deductive" to landslides of effectivity. Mathematical prowess; thank you, and absolutely legendary oversimplification of literary standards--all while stating that 'any idiot can do this shit' (and then I do it as well, or better, than whomever). Writing is not nearly as difficult as some would have you believe--thank you. I have solved each social crisis that has been brought to my attention, and I question every founding element of civilized affairs. Why am I here? Good question. I must be from the future--but that's a whole different narration.
Living now takes too much effort to be comfortable. My back pain has grown to where even if I WAS happy to be alive, that old happiness would be almost extinct. What about those "civilized affairs"?
In elementary school, they didn't have "classes" advanced enough for me. (Thirty years later I am finally proven correct in that "processed education" is a joke.) So I would ask my Dad, in the 2nd grade; why do we go to school? 'Well, this school is free; later on you'll go to an expensive college to get good job training. Blah, blah, blah; you'll get married, have a family of your own, buy a house, more blah blah blah.' WTF? Every dumb answer he gave set me off on new (obvious?) questions. I asked for explanations, which he couldn't give, and that would get him all riled up; eventually he'd start yelling and throwing things, and I'd start crying. Ah; childhood.
My Dad would say; 'you're going to have to leave this house someday/you're going to have to go out and earn some money'. I would say; 'Why?. Money is an invented measure of false accomplishment; a confirmation of a disorganized society that has lost touch with real importance/value. Money is fucking paper, Dad. And; why would I leave this house? Wasn't it YOUR idea to have a kid?' Wouldn't ONE of those early parental concerns be that your kid might NOT be motivated to do the same silly shit that you did? Maybe the kid is differently driven (read: SMARTER) than you? Am I going too fast here? Apparently.
(If "work" is so fucking important) 'Why wouldn't a smart person start working early in life, learn the craft, and become an expert at it by the time the rest of the kids were getting out of expensive college? And; stay with me--no pricey education is needed. And the person actually makes money while working. School is the unnecessary "babysitting" element in this equation. Apparently no human being has ever had this extreme thought before. How can a rookie with a college education earn more $ than the person who's been doing it for years--ON THE JOB? You guys set up the system incorrectly.' No wonder I wanted to leave home and join the circus!
If you want to invent stuff, then let's fucking invent some stuff. I did. Let's solve problems. In fact; let's solve them ALL, so then we can go outside and smoke (maybe we can leave this job early today). Did that, too. Let's organize ourselves a little better than the other morons who constructed this societal clusterfuck. Let's make changes. Let's identify things as what they are. Here; follow me:
I am ALL for doing something new. I am not here to follow categorically naive consumers; useless eaters. Sheeple. Porch Monkeys. TV-gazers; I have no need for any of them. I don't need to "make money", because all the money has already been made. Somebody created those dollar bills, and somebody else is waiting to stuff them in their pockets. I don't need money; what I need is a place to get the fuck away from money, jobs and people.
I didn't agree to "work" a 40 hour week; ever. When I loved my radio gig in the 90's, I was live on the air 6 hours per night, 6 nights per week (36 hours weekly), and spent every other waking moment listening to music, and planning things to say. I did this for $6 an hour. I would've been on the air all 7 days if they'd have let me, and would have "worked" for free if my bills were paid. I lived alone, in a 1-room closet, and my entire existence was a 1-mile stretch of a single road; and I was fucking happy about it. Thank you. I LOVED my 'lead role in a cage', bitch.
So now I "work" in call centers for 7-12 dollars per hour. The only purpose I have for employment is that it puts my creative brain on "pause" for a few hours, so that the creativity may feel "fresh" when I come back to it later. I perfectly understand the human need for stress/release; most people with mobility concerns do. There must be daily concentration to counteract the relaxation. I say all the time that a person must have suffering AND celebration. You can't work all the time, AND you also cannot play all the time. You can't sleep all the time (Static Girl has tried). I can't be drunk at the bar, or high all the time either (but I've tried). I would volunteer to do a little productive suffering to benefit mankind--ME! I would fucking VOLUNTEER; do you hear me? But I am not going to waste any amount of effort for this current structure.
I have already managed these "civilized affairs" (I like that), and completed my research years ago. (To fix it:) The outline of what to do and where to begin is in place. Details? Sure: Everybody must suffer. You can choose to go personal, OR you can choose to go 'big picture'. But you CANNOT do both; period. And since nobody likes my ideas, then I must be wrong.
Perhaps you should stop reading MY shit, and go drink some fucking cow milk. Moo. Or; maybe you should go to work early and get organized for the day. Ha.
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