Personal Security/Identity Theft

February 19th, 2003, Jeezus Christ why are we still here? We're at war; wait, no, we'll be at war soon. Severe terrorist threat; no, just a high terrorist threat. Oh, thank you. I feel so much safer now. I was just reading the newspaper (like a good little masochist), and there was another story (yawn) about how some keen cyber nerd got a whole bunch of credit card information in New York, and 8 million more people are now at risk for identity theft (Now is that a severe threat, or just a high threat?). Here's the good part of this story, the part I like, the part that the Overnight Guy gives 2 thumbs up to this so-called "Intruder" hacker genius, man or woman: by hacking into the system of a third-party merchant processor, this person has access to millions of all 3; Visa, MasterCard, and American Express cards. And the card companies are completely lost here as to who the culprit might be; they don't know if it was a hacker, a disgruntled employee, a security breach, etc.

Some people swear by using credit cards; and some people truly benefit from paying bills online. I certainly hope that my best friend, and my girlfriend will not be too offended by my words here; (that's an absolutely pathetic disclaimer) but what the hell are sane people thinking when they give complete strangers their credit card numbers?

Believe it or not; I don't have any credit cards (oh gee, really?). But I do have a debit card, and it has a credit card logo on it, so I can rent cars and motel rooms (I'm so cool.). I have bought a gift online before, and I have given out my debit card # on the phone a few times. Why? It's a DEBIT card--it comes out of my checking account, and there's never going to be more than a couple hundred dollars in there anyway. And by the way, Captain PlasticMoney, cyber hacker high tech crooks don't give a rat's ass about debit cards BECAUSE OF people like me. (With both in front of you, would you rather steal a mystery debit card, or a gold Visa? Think about it; take your time.)

If I ever get a credit card (ha), and if I ever decided to use it, it would not leave my hand. There will be no giving of #'s on the phone to anyone, and nobody will be walking away from me with it. Why? Because I've got a debit card for all that kind of Mickey Mouse bullshit. My credit card would be for (pay attention) emergencies only.

There are brilliant computer minds attempting to hack, right now, into the next third-party processor, and the Home Shopping Network; how many hackers do you think are trying to get into the prescription drug files right now? And those are just the first three I could think of; what about everything else? Does it matter how many thousands/millions of people are trying to steal credit card info? I think it does; but that's just common sense now.

75% of all identity theft comes from using credit cards; perhaps you should read that again, you fucking idiot. And I'm done; bleah. I don't even have a close here; there's no pinball, X-Files, or Everclear reference today, baby. I only ask that you THINK, next time, before you whip out plastic money with a credit line.
Could you do that for me?

Back to Homepage