Old Personal News

(Starting with the week ending 4-3-05)

Sunday night 4-10-05 to Sunday 4-17-05:
First Full Week in Big O

Sunday night? Couldn't we have done THIS on Sunday night? No. Poker started at 4. I made it to the 2nd table--in the lead! I was also a gentleman, and would wind up coming in 2nd place for the tournament! That's $100 (net). Came home at 10-ish and told girlfriend I would be taking her to the Monglian Grill for lunch 2maro. Gas, and groceries, too. Bank? Quarters would help start the laundry binge. Hard to sleep, duh, but I got there. Up
at 11 am Monday--sleep is good. Coffee is good. Gosh I like being a winner. A less responsible me would order that obnoxious Pink Floyd music set with the 3 cool posters. Not me; with my winnings I'm going to buy dope and painkillers. I'm playing every disc in my local box top, too; Espresso Love Seizure and Cage start this cool Monday. About to go Grill and bank. More later. Yes. 2 trips to the bank--still not enough, grocery, $52 for a gas fill-up, and the new insurance place--they love me. Then we're driving down 99 to find the mini-golf game room. 3 regular pinballs, baby. But that's not the best part. There's also a place on 99 named "Our Place" (JT's) with...wait for it...Twilight Zone pinball. And if you win a game at 264 mil, you get a free cheap beer at the bar. I love this town. They also have a Golden Tee; hole-in-ones get a free beer at the bar, too. Met the owner; he seems pretty cool. They also do $1 poker, but I'll be going back for the pinball. Checked it all out, found a couple of relatively painless ways to get to hwy 99 and back, then came home. Girlfriend had a nap because she was so full. With perfect timing, my FCP called! She's doing well with her new life and place, and good for her. Then it would be snuggle time here, yay. Then I was off to see about some pinball. Our Place had already closed for roof repairs; okay, so I headed to the Putters place to check on their games. Not bad, but all 3 games had minimal problems. Then it's back to Wetlands for more Monster Bash, and some Pale Ale. Couldn't win, and then it's back to the neighborhood bar to try to scare up a card game. No love. I'm going home. Home and hungry, but I ate nothing. Must try to sleep; getting ready for the Qwest person to come hook up my phone jack. Sleep never came. Alarms start going off at
7:30 am Tuesday--I have NOT missed the alarm clock, that fucker. Coffee, and around sandwich time at 9 am the cool Qwest guy shows. He was super friendly and efficient. Now we can finish moving in...if anybody was motivated to. We moved some stuff around; listening to Drip and now Slackdaddy (I will get through ALL of these CD's). Beating dust out of clothes, hanging Pink Floyd banners + shirts; where did all my posters go? Did I throw them all out in some kind of moving snit? Did I throw out some Pink Floyd posters, too? Oops. Put up a nice little autographed Hazel Virtue thing--I'm so cool. And Caviar; what a shock. It's fucking dark over here at the computer; I need a lamp. I also need to do lots of laundry, but I'm just not so motivated. Maybe after this awesome Slackdaddy. Girlfriend walked in and said 'why don't you open your blinds and let some light in?' It's not so dark now. She's good. But later it will be dark again, right? The next band is Big Atomic--boy does Wes sound good. Cool. I sorted some laundry, and spent some time on the phone with my FCP; she's obsessing over the end of her last relationship, and the why for. Her ex is just stupid. Did the scary balancing of my checkbook, and it's right on (many thanks again to the greatest job I have ever walked away from--and all of the extra money made for a new business, teeth and vehicle repairs, and this move). Later I would cook up a yummy dinner, and then wash all the necessary dishes. Saw my first 2 "Scrubs" in big O tonight; 1 old and 1 new. And we did lots more moving stuff around in this shoebox of an apartment. Now it's quiet after 11, and just lurking I am. I would lurk and go to bed. Up
around 11 am Wednesday. Going to get my windshield fixed today. Coffee, local Ga music, a little more moving stuff around and avoiding the massive laundry pile. Went to the glass place, and the Saudi guy there informs me that if my windshield breaks that they are "no responsible". Sure. Fix it already. I entertained a few of their customers, and my windshield crack is still less than 3 inches long--even after Saudi boy banged on it with a hammer for 10 minutes. On the ride back I got lucky with a left turn; thought I was lost, but I was actually aimed right back to our neighborhood--and the Assmaster Video place I was heading for. Rented Elektra; who DOESN'T like Jennifer Garner? Home to have another nice long chat with my FCP, and then cook up some ricey beany stuff to make my girlfriend smile. Yay. Then I took off; looking to go make friends with Twilight Zone pinball. Got lost on the way there, but now I may know a shortcut for later. This Twilight Zone is in fantastic shape physically--very well-maintained. And it's set to be difficult; sharp bumpers, tight bands--it will drain on you quick. Normal people could not play this game, and THAT'S what I was looking for. All 4 flippers are weak, but I'm going to have to call them consistent. I ALREADY know that it's just going to take a few plays to start cranking out replays. Yup. It took a few, but then I started winning. And let me say for the record; winning a beer for playing pinball is a pretty damn good feeling. And the "Our House" Golden Tee game also played very well; -10. Wish we could smoke in bars here (snicker). Then I headed back to my neighborhood bar. J showed up, and took me for a ride in the parking lot. We're talking smack about 2maro night's poker tourney already. Well I feel exceptionally good now. Had to head home. Tv and cheese bread. Crashing at around midnight. Up
after 10 am Thursday. Need to do some laundry today; I should earn a trip to the bar tonight. We've got coffee, and the Deacon Brody full-length to listen to. This is the band that Joe manages (Joe was my ultimate radio little boss). Not even looking at the laundry, I'm catching up on my missed Fred columns online (A malt-shop genius; where I write songs about roll-starting cheap cars, he profoundly argues against Evolution. Wow.) Moved on to the 1996 5-song Deacon Brody disc; it's good, too. Then I decided to do at least ONE load of laundry; awww, how productive. Static Girl walks with me to load it. Mail check; bills--yuck. Sandwich and shower time. Then I've got to cancel out of my new business, and organize some mail. I need to be more productive like this; this is good. Looking forward to someday soon hacking my computer desk into little pieces. Chop. Now I should plan a trip out of the house. Yes. We mailed some stuff, got a pair of jeans at the cool used clothes place, grocery shopped, and did a Dollar Tree run. Still no incense. Back home with presents for my Superhero Girlfriend: "Blah Girl" (she earned that new name this morning). She needs a shirt with a big "B" on it. Finished up here with a little Mishap (the Athens band); will start 2maro similarly. During the expensive card game Thursday night I just couldn't get the cards to come my way. Went out before 10 pm. Took a little sneeze-puke ride down to Monster Bash pinball, and couldn't win there either. Decided I was hungry, and hit the Wendy's drive-through on the way home (no In + Out Burger here). Go me. Not much desire here for anything, so we went to bed. Sleep was nice. Up
early on Friday; it's 8 am. Cooked breakfast for the guinea pig; girlfriend smiled. Hearing the "Stuck in the Mud" Mishap. My right ear may have some fluid in it, but that's not going to slow me down; I'm already slow. Time for some Drivin N Cryin. Deleting old business e-mails. I like the business, but it's expensive and just not working out right now. Next up in music; the groovin' N. Carolina band "Hobex". Finishing up my Commentary 5 Years in Phoenix right now. Man there was so much potential in that town...and a bunch of stupidity, too. Probably better to go ahead and get out when we did. My idea for early snuggle became happy double snuggle. Then I was planning my run of errands. Found the Hunky Dory head shop and bought some incense, then got a burrito at Taco Time. After a couple of games of Twilight Zone pinball it was time to go sign up for poker. Found a place called "Sam's Tavern", and had to stop in, but they have no games. We're signed up, and it's a full night. Tourney started at 8, and it was ugly early for me. But I stayed in, said some wickedly funny shit, and wound up in the money; yay. Took nice care of "B"--he runs the game. Kicked me out at 2:30. I came home and danced--then went to bed. Sleep good; ear not. Up
at noon Saturday, it's nice to be alive. Offered to take my girl out for lunch, but she just ate. Strong coffee. I could go get bar-b-que...Tried to call birthday Daddy, but he's out pillaging. I went and ate lunch at Burrito Boy (a wet Abodaba burrito); that's about as close to the Taco Stand as we're going to get here--and it was good. Walked around Goodwill, bought some candles, and did another Dollar Tree run. Home, with presents for my Static Girl; since already doing 2 loads of laundry herself, she's been vegging in front of the tube all day, now watching "Out There" on UPN (yay UFO's). We finally watched Elektra together; another fine B movie. Girlfriend had already inspired me to do some laundry, too; 2 loads would catch me up. Done. Then she conceded the Warped Tour to me, and I watched bits and pieces of a few guy things (Seagal, van Damme, Sportscenter). Northern Exposure babe Janine Turner was in a sci-fi movie "Fatal Error", and that was pretty good for a no-sex, 'the tv's are killing us' flick. I finally got back into GT2, for hours of manual-shifting fun. Bed by 4, with alarms set for 10. Up
at 10:30 am Sunday. I want to GT2, talk on the phone, and go play this afternoon. We'll find a new ear Dr. 2maro. Finally got to talk to my FCP again; she's road-tripping. I'm watching the idiot box, playing GT2, cooking more rice, and getting ready to go play poker. Yes. This was my stupid night; the night that I don't remember much of. 2 poker tournaments; very expensive. Okay. And my ears are not happy campers. I need to get better organized. Came home and ate everything. Then crashed, and didn't get out of bed until Monday afternoon...





Monday 4-4-05 to Sunday 4-10-05; First Week in Big O

Start Monday after a nap in the Roseberg Comfort Inn; we're up for breakfast. We'll be in our new town by noon. On the drive in, I was panicked about making it all the way with Gus--so I drove slow and didn't swerve hardly at all. Made it. We got Gus off with limited struggle, then went and dumped the trailer. We learned that we had until closing on Wednesday to get the truck back, so we won't be rushing into any major unpacking. In fact, we did only a small amount of unpacking on Monday; who needs this shit? Cool girl at the U-Haul place suggested the Mongolian Grill as an eating place with vegetarian potential. We went, and it was incredible; food should taste this good. we'll be back soon. Looking at all of our stuff, I will need the big room again. Static Girl reluctantly agrees to let me have the big room. And we can store stuff under our steps; that's pretty cool. Then we're off to Target to call Moms, and then my FCP. My FCP was crying for many reasons, and I so want to be able to help her, but we're pretty busy up here, too. Dark is closing. Air mattress and the futon. Christen the futon to Slowburn Blues. I'm still in pain; hot water ran out on me. Found some 5 year old pain pills, from Georgia; wanted to crush them up and snort them, but I just ate a few instead. G'night. Up
Tuesday, when? Nobody has a clock radio--they're all packed away. 10, 11, before noon anyway. Who cares? Oh shit; I don't know where my coffee is. I could find my coffee maker in a crate, but I need coffee. No coffee. Shit. We must unload the big stuff; like beds, chairs and frames today. Great. Her ribs hurt; my back hurts--we're playing with pain here. Ordered cable; it comes 2maro. Phone comes Thursday. Full entertainment center set up in one try. New bed frame goes together in less than a minute; how lucky is all this shit? I'm going to have lots of time to go find bars and pinball. Dinner? We got a little lost on a highway, but found a deal at Subway. Made it home, and girlfriend was tired. I had to do some GT2 in a van seat; girlfriend says I should do it all with manual transmission now--just to make it challenging. My girlfriend is a genius. But I'm a little stir crazy. Going to go to the neighborhood bar. It's okay. No pinball or Golden Tee, but they play lots of poker here. I wanted to play some cards, and we were able to scare up a blackjack game, but I miss Texas Hold 'em. It comes back on Thursday; I'll be here. Home late Tuesday night, and girlfriend says I was loud; oh well.
Sleep in again Wednesday; I must find my coffee today, and we'll be making another Big Mart run. We got lots of cool stuff; fan, water-saving shower head, soy sauce. Then it's home to finish the truck and take it back. Bye! Our first letter was a note from the old apartments saying that we would be getting ALL of our deposit back--minus $40 or so for water bills (we already knew about this). Kick ass. I also cooked up some yummy ricey deluxe for my girl--trying to earn my snuggle. There was! Wednesday night I decided to go find some damn pinball. The bar is called Wetlands; Monster Bash and Elvira's Scared Stiff pinball; both need service. The Golden Tee ball is trashed, too. Great bar, they even have pool tables outside--but lousy video entertainment inside. So I go back to my neighborhood bar. Met "E". He is the loud, obnoxious Black equivalent of me. Scary. He says to be back for poker on Thursday night at 7. Okay. So I come home and GT2, then crash with no alarm. I like no alarm.
So now I'm up Thursday. This is where it gets a little fuzzy. But I had coffee! And we had to go back to the Big Mart. Walking out of Big Mart, girlfriend says she is hungry again. Ha! That's the Mongolian Grill, baby! (because it's near Big Mart) Yum; even better than the first time. Oh man I feel good. Hard to work on a full stomach; so we checked out our new cable. Oh, and we have a phone now. Woo. This place is fucking small. I have the big room and it's still small. Tiny. Thank goodness Static Girl is good with shelf paper, because I am not. And we need more. "I'll get more shelf paper on the way to the bar." Famous last words, huh? So then I'm heading to the bar for poker. Man, it was fun. I met lots of people, and there was lots of smack-talking. Kick ass. I went out right after the first break, but it was cool. The break would have had me sharing with the masses, but cool guy J had more and better. Wow. I bought him a drink. Fun. And home late, too. Hungry, but I did not eat anything. Just crashed. Up
Friday. Why did I get up? There will be limited work today. Sure. I don't remember much. Coffee. Cooked up some potatos; trying to earn some snuggle. Looks like it worked. Woo-hoo! And my stereo is all hooked up. I even apparently hooked up my own computer. I get a real phone jack on Tuesday. More mail; a check from the old apartments for lots of $. Okay. So; I could compute, or go to the bar and see if there's more poker tonight. Hmmm. There's more poker tonight at 9 pm. I'm in. Have you ever seen a royal flush on the turn? I got one; too bad it was so early. I was even winning at one point, early, and made it to the second table. The break was another smogfest. Then I was done. I lose it late; many people do. And the next poker is Sunday afternoon. Hmmm. Home at 2; and I'm hungry. So I ate everything in my new state, and half of Static Girl's chips, too. Couldn't see a clock until I was upstairs; 4:30 am. Remind me to thank my FCP for the bottle of Tiger Sauce; yum. Crash time. Up
Saturday, today at 9 am. I cooked breakfast for the guinea pig, and planned my assault on the rest of the kitchen. Crates from Gus. Girlfriend says she feels grumpy, but she's being sweet to me. I ate pineapple, then did my kitchen work, sort of--we are missing a full box of glasses and stuff. Then I had to cook more potatos. On a whim, I called my FCP and got to talk to her! She has her new place, and appreciates the attention from me. Food! Made me some hash browns, and there's plenty more regular food for girlfriend if she gets hungry. In spurts I have now completed 2 weeks of this shit you're reading right here, as well. It's like; 5 pm already. Lots of cool GA music today; Five Eight, Salem Ash, Bongwater Taffy, and Fuzzy Sprouts now. Might have to go do some more GT2. Now, I do try to get Static Girl to go do stuff with me. Today was plenty nice enough to go visit the little frisbee field I found one street over. She's just not motivated; her rib is better, but still hurts a little. I'm just my regular shaggy self. I'm a mix of productive and lazy. I am a Fuzzy Sprout. Ooo, Hollow Creek is next. It's no longer 5, but 8. Five Eight; ha. Changing batteries on my camera and stereo remote. There's only 1 box left unopened; our drinking glasses HAVE to be in there...but what if they're not? I don't want to open the box; do you? Okay; we found most of the glasses and coffee mugs. Certainly not all of them, but maybe TPG got some. Good for him. I'm hungry. Fuck it man. Music and time keep on rolling; girlfriend is on the Warped Tour watching Sandra Bullock movies--I will join her. Yes; we watched Ya-Ya, and some of another, then she went to sleep. I'm tired of sandwiches; although they are effective. She goes to bed. I stay up and GT2 manually; then there's a new Pink Floyd infomercial for $130 worth of 8 discs. I like the infomercial, at least. Bed around 4 again; I am liking the vacation here. Up
Sunday to alarms at 11 am. Found my alarm clock--obviously. Girlfriend has a new fake coffee; "laced coffee". I brew some of mine, and it's breakfast time. Ooo, how about another sandwich? Yum. I'm trying to figure out what other food groups we had in the old place. Static Girl says we need broccoli; sure, but we had lots of other stuff in the old place. Can of pears, too; gone. The first of the cans for recycling are in place. More laundry needs to be done; great. I can't even finish my room until the new phone jack gets put in on Tuesday. Time to call Mom; hey, she wants to get all pissy with me--so I jabbed her back. Then the phone died--so we don't know how that would have played out. And that's good; I don't like fighting with my Mom nearly as much as she does. Called my FCP; she's doing well. All moved in to her new place, and she sounds really good. Yay. Now I'm getting ready to go get a Sunday paper, and maybe go trash the day. Ha. You can't stop me; you can only hope to contain me. Shit. More later; perhaps. Sunday would finish with my buying a Sunday paper, got Static Girl some more Cokes, and I went to the bar to play poker at 4. Ha.





Sunday 3-27-05 to Sunday 4-3-05; Last Days in Phoenix

You idiots are lucky that I'm only 2 weeks and 2 days late here...

My bar is closed for Easter, or I'd already be there. It's the thought that counts. So, by default, I am staying in. Are you looking for something profound? Keep looking--it ain't here. Up
Monday for light packing. I would go close savings and shop for my still dying girlfriend (bread, broccoli, lemons, honey). I'll beg for affection if I have to, but I'm trying to earn it. Warped Tour tv, and then...snuggle! By 8:15 TPG and Pool Guy were calling me from the bad bar. I was there by 8:30, but I'll be playing poker at my bar at 10. TPG appears to be back in good form--he's fun to be around again. Then it was all planned out to have a farewell dinner for me on (next day) Tuesday; a steakhouse or something--Pool Guy's treat. I had been joking that my final 'out to dinner' should be at Sam's (the baby rec arena). They stayed at the pole-dance seminar; I went to go play my final game of Sam's poker. Yeah; I was the first person off the table. Did my 3rd ride; alone again, ha. Then I got 5 bil on No Fear pinball--with NO jumps (no jumps register at all); an amazing score (this is what I do). Home to crash. 5 billion on a broken game--that IS what I do. Up
Tuesday for more packing; my poor girlfriend sounds like coughing death and death coughing. So I left her at 6:30 pm for what was supposed to be my dinner. No. Pool Guy has a drama story about his ex-, and he wants to drink; he and TPG are back at pole-dance central (a shock). So I said we should go to Sam's; eat and play. Sure. I had the Famous Sam's pastrami for my final out meal in Phoenix. I was winning golf until the end. But this was not supposed to be a party; remember? I have much work to perform 2maro; my sick girlfriend is depending on me. This is going to end with some sadness; I'm not getting all ripped up. Right around 10, the double soap opera hit; TPG's new friend showed up with ACE still hitting on her, and Pool Guy once again wants to leave for a date. Hey; no worries here--I'm all smiles...and leaving! Bye; fun we had. I feel a little bad for TPG, who does seem to have his missing brain back; TPG had issues at Sam's, me leaving, and Pool Guy begging him for a ride to some shady motel. Poor TPG; he deserves a better fate. Came home and crashed for big Wednesday; but not before a balcony dance, some GT2, and a quart of water--just to make sure I'd still be pissing all night. Almost out of pain pills; I'm rationing. I hate rationing. Up
for big Wednesday. I was up, and I had plans; thanks again Chasers. I'll work for them someday. Packing is difficult; we're also trying to clean as we go, and keep open lanes. Great fucking idea there, old man, but it's a tough system to keep going. There's 5 years of dust on some of this shit; what were we thinking? And there would be much more of both (shit and dust) if not for the closet-cleanout of Summer 2003. Yeah; see if we were GOING to write about something--the Summer 2003 Vortex would be the stash to panty-raid. Speaking of metaphors and innuendo, I had to call my FCP to check in our last day of packing day here. Uh-oh. My poor FCP's whole world is in shambles. She's being forced to do a completely unforseen restart; singular, and looking for a new residence. What she must do, almost immediately, is much worse than us; we planned on moving--she did not. This is so unfair; TPG's back, and now my FCP needs me more than ever--but I'm about to spend 4 days on the road with my she-coughs-alot girlfriend. Damn. Now, I did have some good words for her (my FCP is strong), and I think she'll be okay, but I've got to get back to leading MY move with my poor sick girlfriend. Dust, shit, cough. It's hard to clean as you go; I only got done about half of what I wanted to get done; shit. I did finish my bathroom though. Girfriend was moderately impressed, but we're going to have so much more than just standard moving panic on truck Thursday. My girlfriend says she likes static and chaos, so maybe she'll be right at home 2maro. Up
for truck Thursday. Waking up was easy, thanks to yellow Mustang girl-next-door's stereo boom-booming me awake at 5:30. Normally I might be pissed, but not today. I'll pee on her car later. So we go recycle some aluminum cans and get the big truck at 7:30 am; the last day of the month at U-Haul is always exciting. The U-Haul people were amazing to us again; for their help, we bought ALL the insurance possible for their truck and my Gus. Woo. Our 17-ft Ford truck is beautiful and drives like a dream. Loading; I was Mr. Muscle. I had 5 or 6 really good ideas that helped out early on; girlfriend started slowly but consistent. Got a rock in my shoe that chewed me up a little--that sucks. My back hurts so much, but I can't even let it show. If I can still stand up, then I can still carry stuff. 2maro morning will kill me--this much I know. The heaviest shit was all loaded before 11:30 (wow); the rest is mainly placement. I was fantastic early. At 4-ish, TPG shows up, blaring Hazel Virtue's "Razor" on his car stereo (that's our favorite Hazel Virtue song). He helped us move a little, and we traded cute comments and shit from the past 15 years. I slowed down mid-day; energy levels depleted from the early 'run rabbit run'. Girlfriend's brain had to take over for awhile, and she did great. She's sick, and dealing with 2 obnoxious old men now, AND trying to move. I almost keeled over a couple of times, but had to keep going for my amazing girlfriend. I will NOT be oudone by a skinny, non-smoking vegetarian; thank you. Where did all of this shit come from? Are we both pack-rats? Oh I am so going to...SNAP! That's it; time for a trash run! All of my posters, 4 decades of music, beer, women, and Ken Griffey Jr.--minus the 1 cool skateboard poster of me--gone! 4 high skool and 1 college yearbooks--gone! Crates of stupid shirts; over the balcony--ha! More, more; give me more shit to throw out; let's make a bonfire and do a triple fuck-you dance. War paint; let's be Indians. Wait; some of this shit, like the clothes, make for good packing material. Then you can throw it all out later--like your old Camel shirts. Boy did they mess up when they lost me as a customer. Tell me again why I have 13 crates of CD's--is it that mid-90's alternative radio DJ shit again, living in your own tiny shadow? No more. Combine down to 12 crates, and TPG gets 5 of 'em. Nobody needs more than 7 crates of CD's you has-been (that's still over 700?). Small appliances, lights, toys; all to TPG's house! Gone; get out! I'm too fucking tired to carry this shit around anymore. Called my Dr. Botox to try to negotiate this bullshit bill that they screwed up; I offered a nice compromise, and they got all huffy with me. Stupid fucking cunts; they'll get nothing and like it; bye. During this time of help from TPG, with my brain on "pause", he and I acidentally packed the stereo bag with the CD and tape players...in the BACK of the big truck (we wouldn't figure this out until later, when it was way too late). TPG went with us to get the carrier to tow Gus on. TPG had to help with the chain attachments and tire belts; thanks. Gus likes the piggyback. Then it's time for TPG to go; he has shit to do, and Pool Guy is waiting up at the pole-dance palace. I have no problem with this; it's all about priorities--have fun guys. Back to the apartment. I am almost totally beat, but Static Girl wants to clean the entire apartment--hoping for the security deposit. I would just leave it and go get a motel room, but my girlfriend is responsible and has a good heart. I'm almost crying now, scratch that, crying while scrubbing the oven; how do people contort themselves to get scrubbing pressure in an oven? Then the oven cleaner singed both my hands; soon I would rub my eye and mouth with these hands--imagine that enjoyment! Static Girl almost threw away my change of clothes for the next day, but she did not. We finally finished after 10 pm; 13 hours of packing and cleaning. We did it all; more than I've ever done, and more than I would've done. She'll tell you that I did great, and led the charge; I'm telling you that she was sick and still worked hard for 13 hours--she is unprecedented. So we went and got a room at our Motel 6, and had another last meal in town at Waffle House (like college town). Our motel room had issues, but we got through 2 showers and crashed. Oh the pain. Up
for get-the-fuck-out-of-Phoenix Friday. Oh the stiffness. Here's an idea; let's go for a 7-hour car ride, and let's not even stretch. We've discovered the music dilemma for Static Girl by now; I offer to go into the truck OR go buy her another CD player. She says 'no thank you', because she is so wonderful. I've got my Buddy box up with me--a Caviar tape playing before we even start out, and 11 other prime cassettes waiting--don't worry about me; but my Static Girl will have no music. I offered 2 options; she declined. Driving is very easy. Gas fill-ups are tricky, but I can handle it. I love making the big U-turns with inches to spare; girlfriend is not amused. We stopped at a Hampton Inn somewhere, and they wanted $120 for a single bed. No. We checked on Gus as we were leaving, and BOTH tire belts had come off. Both. There was essentially nothing holding my Gus on the trailer (shhh--don't tell my Mom this). It took some work and some luck to get the belts back on, but we did. Of course I had to yell "We've been kicked out of better motels than this!"; that got a few smiles. A few exits later, we would try again. We pulled into this nice looking motel; in Castaic? It turns out that the parking lot is only one-way, and we are now fucked. Remember that I used to drive the yardwork trailer for DUI Dave's Yard Service back in the 80's; I'm LESS worried about backing the thing around than I am about if it's LEGAL to back up a U-Haul. I mean; I don't know. Do you? I predicted that it would take 3 tries, and some love from above, to spin this jack knife. I was close; it took 4 tries, and great directions from a very pessimistic girlfriend to get-R-done. Castaic? What kind of moron names a city Castaic? Is it a family name? Fuck it; I don't care. Hey look; 1 of the tire belts came off again. Check that; both belts came off again! They were both on just 15 miles ago. This is going so well. I hope Gus doesn't take out my girlfriend's car when he falls off the fucking trailer--but he might ($10 worth of insurance will buy me a nice used pick-up truck in Big O if I lose Gus). We somehow got across the busy street and parked in the Carl's Jr. parking lot. Hey, It's Friday; in a perfect world there would be...snuggle! I brought in the Disintegration tape; nice. Tonight I will be stretching; thank you. Up
Saturday to my Mom calling and doing Air Raid at 9 am. Coffee and bananas, and we're off. We're sore; our feet are swollen, got a nice blister where the rock was in my shoe, too. It's a party. At least I have music; I don't know how she can do it back there with just a terrified guinea pig for company. Shit, I couldn't do it; I'd have let the dumb guy buy me another $10 CD player. My plan was to get back to Lodi today. Well that was easy and uneventful; hey look, only 1 tire belt came off today. We met this cool veteran biker dude at the truck stop; then we decided to get a little further up into California. That tire belt? I put it back on so tight that...Gus may fall off, sure, but that tire and belt will be staying here...past last call--until the bar closes completely and bodies start getting dragged out--thank you. I'm tired of all of that foolishness. Get it; "tired"? So we get past Sacramento, and into Woodland, maybe. Comfort Inn again; I like these places. Dinner at Denny's; 1 of the best cheeseburgers ever. Good showers for us, glances at 3 HBO's, and bedtime. Up
Sunday, and leaving Woodland. Microwave burrito breakfast; yum. Later we would be in Mt. Shasta city, where it was snowing. I was out there dancing in the snow, and throwing slush balls at cars and shit--it was great. And girlfriend's all like "It's 34 degrees, and you're in a t-shirt; quit it!" I liked the snow. Static Girl didn't want to stop at the cool casino resort place--of course I was upset. Beer, poker, and smokes for me--it could have been, but it wasn't. It's okay; I'm crazy about my girlfriend. Drove PAST a Comfort Inn sign in Roseberg, went up an exit and drove back for it. We're dedicated. I parked incredibly well, cool people discount, and they have an indoor pool for me to pee in. Nice. We walked across the street to eat at Elmer's. I checked out Elmer's bar with the video poker games. I don't like video poker drunks--they're not fun + charismatic + full of energy like me. They just sit and stare blankly; I'm a much more entertaining drunk. After dinner, I had to pee, so it was time to go swimming. Once in the cold pool, 2wice in the whirlpool; I am Mr. Whizzer. Back to the room to check out their cable. Only 1 HBO, but there's like 80 channels here. I watched "Taking Lives" on HBO; it was barely watchable in that 6th Sense faulty premise kind of way. Explain Keifer Sutherland's part to me. No pills, and no patches for me; just sleep. Ouch. Has it been a week yet? It has. Are we doing 2 weeks here again? We are. This shit takes forever--hope you're enjoying it.



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