Old Personal News

(starting 4-11-04)

Sunday 4-25-04...

4-18-04 cont. Also; after 3 cheeseburger plates, I was full. I might be "on" today; girls half my age are flirting with me, and I'm very entertaining. No heartburn yet, either. So I'm thanking God, and I'm blessed in many different ways. Then I did a load of laundry and called Mom. Hope Dad's birthday was good; nobody's heard from him. 9:15 on the east coast; but it's only 6:15 here. I need to get on, load this, and check e-mail. Bye! I went to bed early Sunday night, but my bed is being difficult again. I remember being awake for most of the night, trying to be thankful for such a good Sunday. Maybe I slept some. Up
on time for work Monday 4-19-04. A very short shower, I still feel weighted down from Waffle House. A lovely, cool, dark morning here in the desert. And then it was time to work. It was the slowest day in my Phoenix history--we didn't even get 50 in the whole room. I was crashing and burning every way possible. Some of our guys went to the MCI job fair to recruit their guys. Great. I decided to treat the last hour like gold. It worked. I did get a Lead...and then I was handed 2 (disciplinary) write-ups from the past 2 weeks. Great. I produce for my bosses, and I get in trouble; it's like the radio. Jeez. After work, I'm heading to Dr. P's to get some answers as to why workers' comp hasn't been called to start on my 2nd epideral. Turns out that the office manager was fired on Thursday of last week--the day she was supposed to make calls for me. Well; there's my answers. So I worked out (Waffle House made me weigh 214!), snagged a free salad and 2 sandwiches for later, and then went back into the office and we tried to find the workers' comp phone #. I have it at home, though, so I'll get it to them 2maro. Went to the 99cent store for a couple of things (chili feast coming soon), and then home to cook ramen for my terrific but tired girlfriend. A nice bathroom trip, too (g'bye Waffle House). Then it's snuggle time, and then I was doing chores. Found phone #'s, tried to flat-rig my bed, made some calls, watched PTI, went and got the mail, and now I'm just sitting in front of broken html files. Some weird stuff happened right around Monday. God and I started talking again--which was good. And my computer caught a 2-stage medium bad virus, which (was bad) put me offline and unplugged from Monday until Saturday. 'What happened?', you may ask inquisitively. Well I WAS going to build a music library, DUH! I was going to become "download man"; Napster, Limewire, Kazaa, and anything else I could find. I was going to have a bigger music library than the stupid SoBroHo's I used to work for in Ga. I was going to become an internet radio madman rebel pirate wizard; what exactly did you think I bought a 90 GB hard drive for? And apparently the radio people have cleverly installed lots of icky virus stuff on that internet thingie. It's just another example of the Man keeping me down. So my girlfriend says I'm dumb and getting what I deserve for not having anti-virus stuff. Okay. So, over the past week my girlfriend has made a couple of quality efforts to get my computer running, but did not get it fixed until Saturday evening. Went to bed Monday before 11, and slept okay. Up
a hair late for work Tuesday; no shower. Lucky me--coz' I don't stink. Got to work after asking for another good day. I remained motivated through some very tough calls. At the end of the day, again, I managed to squeak out a Lead--and a spin for $20. Then I was handed 3 more write-ups. What gives? I have now gotten 2 write-ups for my 4 next- day-Leads Sunday; I'm getting mixed signals here (Get it? "mixed signals"? 'It's like the radio all over again'--oh never mind.). After work to Fry's Electronics, then the 99cent store, and home to cook potatos. Forgot to go to the bank and get papers notarized; damn. Oh well. Now I'm debating an early and short run. It happened. Pool Guy showed up, broke, too. We burned through my $30. Home by 10:15, according to Static Girl, and to bed. Up
in good shape Wednesday, and to work. Another super slow day. I eventually got a Lead, and another write-up or 2. That's going to be a daily thing, and I may have to start making fun of it, hmmm. Visions of veggie chili danced in my head all day. Then to go workout. Oh yes. My weight is back down under 210. And I added weight to 3 exercises--including moving up to 80 lbs. on the butterfly (Nobody else does 80 lb. butterflies!). I felt good (owww), and there were more sandwiches to snag. Home to make the chili I'd been thinking about all day. And we have burrito wrappers; so now it's going to be chili burritos--yum! Girlfriend appreciated the effort, and then we had great snuggle. I was all set to stay in and be a good boy (sure). I even made a deal with my baby that if I work 6 days this week, she will try to fix my computer again on Saturday; nice. Then Pool Guy calls and says he has a little $; he'll meet me at the bar. By the time I get up there, TPG had showed up with another homeless convict girl--he makes me so proud. I won the golf games, but all of a sudden it was closing time--so I didn't make it home by 10. Home at 1 am, and I foolishly set my alarm to get up
at 4 Thursday. To the surprise of nobody, Static Girl had to come in and make me turn off my alarm. I got up and tried to focus, but there was no way. Slept in until way after noon, and now my body feels better, but my girlfriend is so pissed off that she didn't even write a note to tell me how pissed she was (as my FCP said, 'that's not good'). So I watched some tv, cleaned a little, and cooked. There might be good mail waiting for me at the mailboxes. Girlfriend doesn't seem too upset with me; she sure isn't surprised at all. We ate together; that might be good. Now she's in her room, and I'm just anxious. Then we went to get the mail, and our big box came from S. Cackalackey. Woo-hoo! What neat prizes! 5 minutes later, all the drunks are calling me from the bar. Stupidly, I chose to go play. I won all the games with Pool Guy but 1; which means that a drunk and crippled Pool Guy beat me one time; damn. Home not too late. I probably ate pills and passed out. Up
and on time for work Friday. I was a little tired, but made it through. Very slow again, but the excitement happened when I got another write-up. The lady in charge of QC was telling me how I'm older, more mature, and know better than to be doing stupid things. Ha! So I stood up and loudly announced to the class: "I have 7 write-ups this week; does anybody else have 7 write-ups this week? I bet you don't." Yeah, I got your 'more mature' and 'you know better' hanging right here, baby. And then, in the last hour, I got a Lead. Wow. I produce, AND I still get in trouble; it really IS just like being on the radio all over again. Ha! Soon, the big boss made a surprise visit from Florida, hmmm. I left happy, to go workout. Oww. Home to call and thank my FCP, and to whomp up some more leftover burritos. Hey; what's that message on my answering machine? Why, it's TPG calling me to let me know that he got fired today--probably for bringing that homeless convict girl up to the bar. Oh well. Then my girlfriend and I ate, and snuggled brilliantly, and I got heartburn. Life was good. Pretty soon there were 6 of us at the bar, playing on both golf games. I stayed a little too late, but not bad; home at 11:30. There were pills, and rough sleep.
At a little after 4 Saturday morning, the alarm had woken Static Girl. She came in to see if I was stirring, and I was. Good. I got up and got dressed for work. I was tired at work, but I made it through. Hey look; the big boss fired both the day and night manager; I'll miss "D". 2 zeros today; no Lead, and no write-ups. What the hell; I needed a day off. Heard a dance mix of a Dido song at work; I'll have to tell my girlfriend about that. I came home and did some paperwork--in the bathroom; ha. Girlfriend has done most of my computer-fixing. I have tons of taped tv to watch, a Crystal Method CD to digest, and computing to catch up on later. I hope I don't have to go out drinking tonight. No? Good. Well I've gotten most of it done, and it's almost 10 pm. It's about time to check out. Yes, a little computing, and then bed. With an extra hour of sleep, we're up
at 5 am Sunday morning. So is Static Girl. I hugged her hard, threw in the Sunday paper, and headed for work. Since there is no radio Sunday morning in Phoenix, I decided to talk to God for most of the ride in. This was a good move on my part; watch it unfold. I asked for extra patience and tolerance today (and I would need it). You know how slow a phone room is on a Sunday, right? I mean, imagine if somebody were to call you and wake you up Sunday morning at 10 am; would you cuss them out? I would. I have no quarrel with the people who rail me; I don't believe in doing phone work n Sundays (Saturdays--sure, but not Sundays). So I expected little, and got nothing. "P", who had asked me my shirt size yesterday, brought me a small pile (4 or 5) good dress shirts today. But I was still having trouble on the phone with people. Then, during the final hour of the day, my patience wore thin. I started to believe what I was doing was not valid (forgetting, obviously, that I have a job, and they like me, and I usually produce). I almost got up and left; seriously. And then I looked at myself in the mirror, and I looked like shit. Somebody; a Manager, a Verifier, anybody, somebody should have pulled me off the phone. And it dawned on me that I was not staying true to my intent of being patient and tolerant. And it dawned on me that I was alone in this--nobody could help me. It took a few moments of realization, but I was "reborn" at work, and it felt great. I finally got 2 calls all the way down to appointment times; now, neither of them went through--but I hadn't gotten that far yet today. I felt a great sense of accomplishment--even though I ended as a zero. I was victorious in that I survived; it's like when a beaten boxer can at least "go the distance"--and finish the fight. He lost the fight, yes, but he won the mental/physical challenge. And I won today; I was the happiest zero ever. I told "X" my story, and he loved it! I drove home with my head up, then I detoured over to the 99cent store for some fixin's. I'm all fixed up now. Home for a cold burrito and a caramel Nestle crunch bar. Yum. Now I'm computer-updating, and washing a (new to me) pile of dress shirts. Hi Mom. Still no word from Dad. Oh well. I hear a bar calling me...

Sunday 4-18-04...

4-11-04 cont.: Then my FCP called me. She's like, the ONLY person I would talk to right now. Sweet. So I feel a miniscule tad bit better. It's 5 pm here in the desert; where is your role model right now? I don't know where YOUR fucking role model is dipshit; me? I'm sitting in my underwear, at the computer, listening to some Everclear therapy (Afterglow), and trying to not start killing people. Perhaps you should stay far away from me right now--at least until the bars open back up. Thank you.
And I decided before 6 pm that I would not be calling anybody, and not going anywhere--except to bed, by 6:30. So I did. Sleep does not cure all things, but sleep can be a welcome change from the disappointment of being awake (ask my girlfriend; she sleeps alot, too). Woke up a few times; finally up for good around
3 am Monday. I do like being awake and coherent at these hours; my life of working overnights may not be over yet. Drove to work, and I tried to have a talk with God--but I'm really pissy right now. At work I tried to act like everything is fine in my world; using the humor "band-aid" to cover up the open wound of reality. Where is "X"? I need to talk to him. Talked instead to super cool "R" about stuff; turns out I'm not the only one who cusses God out occaisionally--I'm not the only one who questions His sales pitch; I'm not the only one who has expressed disappointment. Good. It looks like God gets beat up in the polls sometimes. Perhaps it was the relief of knowing that others have failed in similar ways to mine that allowed me to get my first Lead in days. Whatever. Post work, it's workout time. Set another Dr.'s appointment for Wednesday afternoon; that should get my epideral. Added weight to the lower back exercise; ouch. Home to make rice, but not create a meal; I wanted to give my excellent companion choices for dinner. Brilliant, on my part, because girlfriend came home with food. We used the rice to go with the burritos. Ellen, and snuggle, then I'm going out. It was Pool Guy's night at golf; that broke bitch. I came home and ate everything, then passed out. Up
before noon on Tuesday. Coffee, paper, then a trip to get Dad a birthday card. Back home to vacuum, and maybe do some housework. Yeah, yeah. So? And I'm off to the bar again. Pool Guy is there early; so am I. Partying seems to release the happy endorphins; okay. Home and crashed. Up
before 11 am Wednesday. I like these days off; I need more of them. I just laid around and watched taped tv for hours. Then it was time to get ready for the Dr. It was also a workout day. Talked to my FCP, and she helped get me motivated. I weigh 208. All went well with the doc, and my epideral should get organized 2maro. Home to a slightly out-of-it girlfriend. She says she's not sick. I showered for the 2nd time today. Snuggle, then shower #3. Then I started eating stuff; finished off my bad refried bean experiment, and ate some chili, too. I had to shit 2wice before bed. This is pretty boring. Blow me. Up
Thursday morning to continue shitting. Going to work; me and God don't seem to be speaking right now; more on that later. It's a quiet and slow day in Sector 7; 2 people are AWOL, and then cool "R", who found out yesterday that his wife has cancer, sitting next to me--he started to fall apart. Nothing before lunch; our whole Sector was a zero. After shitting again at lunch, I got the only 3 Leads in our Sector. They played like I was "the man"; but I was just lucky. "A", my trainee and recently demoted Supervisor, brought a stack of ties to give away at work--nobody wanted them. I took them all and said 'thanks, dude'. After work I would go shopping. 1st to the 99cent store, where I shit again. Then gas and Safeway. Home to shit again (Who would eat refried beans AND chili?), after making a vat of cole slaw. Yum. I was tired, but considering a bar run, too. The Queen and I went and signed a new lease at the office. Home to update some computer files, and this is when we learned that my computer has picked up a virus. I'm infected, Static Girl's computer is infected, and she says it's all because I was file-sharing. Great. She took a quick look at my computer, but she had her own project for the evening. I debated options, and then went to bed at 6:30 pm. I didn't sleep well, but stayed in bed for all of it. Up
on time for work Friday. It was a drag ride in, no luck in talking to God again. I don't even feel rested, and I was nodding off all day--again. How many hours of sleep does it take? The 2 AWOL's from yesterday showed back up, but no "R". Whatever. It's all slow beyond reason. In fact, it completely sucks. This is part of the "more on that later"; when is this shit going to pick up? I'm waiting. And if God isn't interested in talking to me, then isn't that a signal of how I don't "fit" here? And IF I don't fit here, then why the fuck AM I here? So I have some questions; and getting pissy with God isn't going to make Him more conversational, but this is whole realm is His idea--not mine. Another zero day for me. On the ride home, I decided to not go workout; instead I would go home and set up my epideral--because DR P.'s office was supposed to call and get that going yesterday. Surely they are doing their job, right? Wrong. Nobody has called anybody, and the office just has its answering machine on. Great. So I called my FCP, because she's the only person who seems to be able to explain things. She says that I should keep on riding the storm out. Okay. I made more burritos for me and my woman, and only shit a couple of times on Friday--so that's good. Snuggle, and then I'm off to the bar. Pool Guy didn't give me enough $, but did give me some; he said he'd have more for me 2maro. Played some golf; good and bad. Stayed till after 11, but with all of Thursday night's sleep, there shouldn't be a problem with Saturday morning. Home to eat burrito leftovers, and set up for some sleep. But I forgot to set my alarm; so girlfriend comes to wake me up
at 5 am Saturday. I could have just put on jeans and gone to work--in the old days, but since we have to wear ties everyday now, I said 'fuck it'. So now my girlfriend is pissed, I'm pissed, and God's pissed. Again; I say "fuck it". And for half the day I have no computer, because if I even turn it on the virus will do...whatever the fuck viruses do. So I sat and watched bad tv, and ate. Also watched the Who's "Tommy; 25 Years Later" tape that I bought months ago--that's a great story. Chips, Chocolate, clam chowder, almonds, and I may not be done eating yet. Erp. Girlfriend took a break from being pissed to clean out one of my "drives", and now I have minimal computing. No more file-sharing, though; that's just stupid shit anyway. I need to learn how my CD-writer works on my own music first. Tried to call Dad again. Also called Pool Guy, but he hasn't responded yet. I don't know what to do now. And when I don't know what to do, I usually end up at the bar. Even without hearing from him, I expected Pool Guy to be at the bar. He was not. But BIL showed. Took him for a ride, and then trounced him at golf. Came home early enough. The phone rang at 3:30 am, and that pissed me off. Up
Sunday morning after a couple of snoozes. A nice, long shower, too. Calm ride in to work; apparently God and I are talking again. I asked for some patience and tolerance; and I got both. I was funny, sharp, and cool to be around. Wound up with 4 Leads, and nobody else even had 3. I am way-cool. Post-work, X and I finally came up to the Waffle House on Bell and had lunch. Again I was funny and charming. Also; after 3 cheeseburger plates, I was full. I might be "on" today. No heartburn yet, either. So I'm thanking God, and I'm blessed in many different ways. Then I did a load of laundry and called Mom. Hope Dad's birthday was good; nobody's heard from him. 9:15 on the east coast; but it's only 6:15 here. I need to get on, load this, and check e-mail. Bye!

Sunday 4-11-04...

Autozone guy said maybe I have a good alternater; he's right. So I came home, changed clothes, and went back to buy a battery for $45 ($35 discount for my old Autozone battery). I am now beyond broke. Big thanks to Pool Guy, or I wouldn't even have a new battery.
Ate some pills and went to bed early--we have to start the alarms at 4 am now; sheesh. And we wear ties 7 days a week now. Crud. The alarms started, and I was up
by 4:30 Monday. Not working out on Friday has had a negative effect on my whole weekend. Oh well. I will be working out today. My ride in had a short talk with God. I just asked for a good day, and some wisdom. At work, boy it started out badly. Then, I did get a Lead. And then a spin for $20. Nice. Then I got 2 more Leads, and was tops in the room until I was tied by another guy. What a day; mood swings, and no "S" to talk to. But I can't complain. Developed a mean craving to hear Smashing Pumpkins' "Mayonaise", and that felt good--that felt like the best part of the old me. Okay. So then I went to workout. I weigh 209, and I did my little circuit; owww. Talked to Z about getting another epideral; he seems to think it would do morre good than harm. Home to cook up a nice "kitchen sink" ricey deluxe for my baby. She's feeling weird. I offered to stay in and take care of her, but she doesn't warm up to that. I chose to go play golf at the bar. It was fun, and I am the man right now. But I do wonder about my Static Girl. Home to eat everything and crash. Up
at 9 am Tuesday, getting ready for my hearing test. Coffee. Then we must head for Dr. D's. Had the test, then saw the doc, he asked about my earssues--I said that things were okay overall. He said that was good, and was proud to proclaim that I've had a 13 dB increase in hearing since before the surgery; better hearing now than in 2000--so I have BETTER than my old bionic hearing now. With my last few $, I went and had the lunch special at Lovejoy's bar-b-que; yum (drank a half quart of hot sauce--maybe that's a pint). Came home and did laundry, took trash out, and was going to do computer stuff. But the computer is not happy. So I talked to my FCP, which was nice, and then I decided to call AIG and see what we can do about a settlement. Turns out that they are willing to settle, and all may come out okay. More later. Sat and watched some Ellen with my baby, and then called my Mom. She is her usual frustrated with me, but is happy that I have done some research. I don't know what's next. Maybe my computer will work better after this little break I am giving it...Okay, I was able to do some of the things I couldn't before. Went to bed by 12, couldn't get to sleep, and so by the time the alarms went off in Mexican radio land at 4 am, we were up
and groggy for work Wednesday. I got there, though. I asked for another good day, but mainly to be a team player. That's what I would become--the team player. My trainee "A" has been demoted back to phone guy--and that's just foolish, I'll never get promoted now. Our Sector rules, even with my not getting a Lead. Falling asleep at work, I can't do this without sleep. Post-work, it's to workout and ask for advice. I strained heavily. Then home to talk more to AIG about settling, and cook up leftovers well. Watched a little Ellen with my baby, and then I had to take a nap. Delayed snuggle, and then at 8 pm, everybody is at the bar and wanting me to show. I considered it, but I can't miss anymore work this week. I am staying in, much to the surprised delight of my girlfriend. She is happy with me, and you should see how good she looks with her hair up! I need to watch some of yesterday's tv, and get organized. Okay; done with it all by 10:30. I'm not tired, but may go to bed anyway. Yes. Up
very early Thursday. Too early. So I slept in for an extra 2 snoozes. I felt good and rested, or so I thought. Asked for a good day, and to be a team player--but also to get a Lead. Wow. So I wound up sitting next to "L", getting a Lead, and being a great team player. It's too bad that I was still tired. "M" and I traded commerce for a thing that I made for her at home--that was kind of significant. And then "L" and I agreed to do a similar thing between us (I am popular with the ladies). Post-work, I'm heading to 2 different 99cent stores. Got some stuff, and then home to check in with my FCP--which is always nice. Cooked up some ricey deluxe for my baby, and we watched a little Ellen. Then it's nap time for me again. I've been waiting for Dr. B to call me back about another shot, but he hasn't called me yet. I awoke from my nap at 7, and luckily the good Dr. called around 7:30. We're going to try to get that going. Now I'm workable and playable for the rest of the evening. Which means...I'm heading for the bar. Pool Guy and TPG are there; but nobody can touch me on golf--I am the man. Unfortunately, I still don't party responsibly. Home close to midnight, and then sleeping would be difficult. Make that Impossible. So I laid there for a few hours. At 4, I got up
for Friday morning. There was no way I could make it through a whole day. It was like a joke. But I figured that I had to try--so I did. Falling asleep at work, I had "L" next to me poke me every few minutes to make sure my eyes would still open; she's great. I even got close a few times, but never pulled out a Lead. So? Somehow I made it through the day. Then home to flip my mattress, and take a nap. Cooked dinner before I crashed. Girlfriend came home,and was happy enough with me. Yay. I got up after my 2 hour nap and ate. Then we snuggled. And now I feel almost ready for a Friday night. More later. Yes. I'd been having trouble partying responsibly, but not tonight. I not only ruled golf, but I drank lightly. Good thing, too. Home just after 11, and I got some sleep on the flipped mattress. Up
at 5 am Saturday, after a few snoozes, to Static Girl sitting on my bed and inquiring if I was going to work. Yes. That got me a couple of hugs; cool. No shower, and I was out of here in 15 minutes. To work in a decent mood. Yeah, well that didn't last. The calls we make aren't getting any better. I called 1 guy who'd been dead for 14 years; fun. It doesn't help my mood any. Another zero for me. Post work I'm getting gas, hitting the 99cent store, and the grocery. Home to make veggie burritos for my baby. She likes me. She says my computer is now virus-free. That's got to be a good thing, right? Then we're watching tv, and eventually "The Princess Bride"--a great movie. And now it's 8 pm Saturday; I'm not going out. I'm holed up in here with my incredible woman (in another room), and I'm happy. In fact, I started writing out some e-mails. I was e-mailing when I got called by 3 people up at the bar, they were wanting me to come out and play. I never even considered going out--although it was only 9 pm. Girlfriend was very proud of me. Hell, I was proud of me. Popped some pills and passed out; up
in fine shape for work on Easter Sunday. You may want to ask me 'why are you guys working on Easter Sunday?', but don't. I don't know; I don't care; I'm not talking about it. I even got a 3-hour break to go get the big food order, and help serve it. You would think that I'd be in a good mood by the time I got back on the phone for 2 hours--but I wasn't. It's a joke. I got cussed out by everybody. Snagged a cute stuffed bunny and a nice balloon for Static Girl; then the balloon exploded on the highway ride home. Oh well. So I'm home now. Grrr. Then my FCP called me. She's like, the ONLY person I would talk to right now. Sweet. So I feel a miniscule tad bit better. It's 5 pm here in the desert; where is your role model right now? I don't know where YOUR fucking role model is dipshit; me? I'm sitting in my underwear, at the computer, listening to some Everclear therapy (Afterglow), and trying to not start killing people. Perhaps you should stay far away from me right now--at least until the bars open back up. Thank you.

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