I made some realizations while vacationing out of state for a few days.
When I was a kid, we would go visit my father's parents. They had been married 40 years, and they slept alone in separate rooms. I was intrigued.
My parents slept together in the same bed. They also wound up getting divorced after 8 years.
After the divorce, when I would visit my Dad in his tiny 1-bed apartment, I would have to sleep with him. He sprawls and snores--which made it miserable for me.
My Dad also liked to go camping. He had a very small 2-man tent. He still sprawls and snores, and it's even worse in a tent.
Dad also liked to take long trips in the car, and he does not like to stop. When I would ask him to stop for a pee break, he would yell. So car-trips were uncomfortable, and often loud.
As an adult, it's no wonder that I don't want to sleep with anybody.
It's no wonder that I don't want to go camping, ever!
It's no wonder that I don't want to take trips in the car, ever!
My Mom kept telling me that she wanted me to have my own life; but she (always) still wanted to be involved (and opinioned) in every aspect of it.
She hated her job, but she sure wanted me to go get one.
She pushed me to be friends with a couple of kids who (later on) wound up being career criminals, but maybe that's just bad luck. She wanted for me to have many friends, and to invite them all over. But her sabotage and saturation of all the people that I knew made me want to be a loner.
It's no wonder I don't want to tell my Mom anything.
It's no wonder why I have career-related difficulties.
It's no wonder I don't get too involved with people.
Hey; this is me waking up, and trying to figure out why I am so different from the common person. I did some of this as self-therapy years ago, but never wrote it down. It's nice to refresh. Ah, childhood. I miss...none of it.
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