The Downfall of Humanity?

Top 10 Albums Sold in Phoenix

Hi again everybody! 5 days ago was the NBA basketball fight where players went into the stands to punch fans; you've seen the footage 3 or 4 times an hour, every hour, since it happened. That's no downfall, though; I would put the NBA's downfall at Latrell Sprewell demanding a new contract becasue he can't feed his family on just $14 million a year. Ha. Oh how I love pro sports; not. My old best friend wants to come out here and visit during baseball Spring training in March of 2005; I wouldn't mind maybe seeing HIM, but there will be no baseball in this house, and no more interest from me about baseball ever. No; I want to talk today about the musical downfall of humanity. If you don't know me, then you may not know that I no longer listen to the radio when I'm driving. For my music, I pretty much just listen to Caviar and Crystal Method back here in my room now; I don't even give a shit about whatever is cool, hot, or "happening" in music right now.

In the newspaper recently, barely an objective representation as it is, was a listing of the top 10 albums sold here in the Valley of the Sun. Let's run through this list together, shall we?

(from the 11-22-04 Arizona Republic)

#1 "Encore" Eminem
#2 "Greatest Hits" Shania Twain
#3 "Greatest Hits: Volume 2" Tobey Keith
#4 "Greatest Hits: My Perogative" Britney Spears
#5 "Now 17" Various artists
#6 "50 #1's" George Strait
#7 "R.U.L.E" Ja Rule
#8 "Real Talk" Fabolous
#9 "Confessions" Usher
#10 "Stardust...The Great American Songbook Volume 3" Rod Stewart

Let's not split hairs; this is my city's musical purchasing trends, and YOUR city's trends are perhaps a tad different (God, let's hope so). So let's talk about the list here:

#1: Eminem--Excellent choice! This guy is the most popular force in modern music right now. His CD was released a week early in hopes of more sales, and that appears to be working out for him. I'm not a huge Slim Shady fan, but even his enemies speak of how talented he is. He definitely deserves to top the here-and-now music world. Good luck Marshall!

#'s 2 through 10--You have got to be fucking kidding me. 5 greatest hits, the current "Now" collection, and 3 hip hop artists (1 of which is badly misspelled). That's your list? No. That's YOUR list, sweet tart. I might buy a CALENDER of Shania or Britney, sure, (to masturbate to) but that's just because I'd probably dunk my donut in either one. I might even let them synch their lips around my microphone together; there's my perogative.

But let's close out this "downfall".Tobey Keith, and his outcasted roots might be okay; this Usher guy is supposed to be really talented, too; but I am saying clearly that 7 of these 10 just show how confused the standard music-purchaser is around here. Just a reminder; the new Caviar CD is on the jukebox at my bar. So; why don't I leave you morons here to figure out your favorite George Strait song, and I'll go pump some more of that new Caviar into the minds of my peers here in north Phoenix. And God bless childhood friends Blake Smith - Lead Vocals/Guitar + Mike Willison - Bass/Keyboards/Vocals.

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