2004: Drought in Arizona

The "media", which consists of sex, lies and videotape, says that Arizona has been in a drought for somewhere between 5 and 50 years--depending on which fabrication appeals to you. I freely admit that this is a desert; water probably ain't an unlimited resource in these parts. But I have a few "things" to say about this looky-here drought. (The "looky-here" comes from a couple of talks with Dave O. recently. You probably wouldn't understand.)

If there's a drought, then I want to see EVERY golf course in this state with some brown fucking grass on it. Make it an advertising campaign to get those idiot morons who DO golf to come and golf at your civically-minded golf course: "This is a desert, and we're in a drought; so come lose your balls in some brown shit." I oughta be in advertising; no, my Dad can't find any work right now. But wait with all of that "zinger" stuff; shhh. I don't mean just ONE golf course, Senator Sand Dune, I'm talking about EVERY golf course in Arizona. Brown; mutherfucker. If there ain't enough aqua to enjoy in iced tea, then there had better be LOTS of brown on the fairways. Dirt, even. Got it? There're a shitload of golf courses here in north Phoenix, and they all have beautiful green grass. I haven't heard of ONE golf course doing anything to conserve water yet. I'll let you know. Drought.

If there's a drought, then we need to stop the building of new neighborhoods and houses and shit. They will need plumbing pipes and water to flush the turds away, right? And if we're in a drought, then we don't need to be creating more places to flush water. Am I going too fast for anybody here? Some of these newest neighborhoods have fountains. Fountains? That doesn't sound like a drought to me. In fact, there shouldn't be ANY fountains in the desert, none. Fountains go dry, and builders go somewhere else; that's more like a drought. My stupid apartments still have the sprinklers set on timers here. Perhaps the sprinklers don't run as much as they have before, but like the golf course issue, I don't see any brown grass here. Drought.

(There had to be a way, right?) If there's a drought, then let's remember the 2000 illegal immigrants per day "flooding" the Arizona border. These criminals are coming from a place where the water can make healthy people sick, and make sick people die. Yes, these immigrants come over here and take all-day showers--because they've never been able to before. They splash and pour, and spill it in the floor; they LOVE the water. And they couldn't care less about the fucking drought; ask them. They twist a faucet and see water--there's no drought. It's hard to argue with that.

Yeah...so, about this drought thing. Our stockpiles are down; I've seen the pictures that the media helicopters take--nobody's faking those pictures--they are real. Water is going to become a major issue...in about a year. That's when the burden will be put on the middle class White people to not waste the water...that the criminals so desperately need. Yes; you know it is actually the White people running the water while they brush their teeth; THAT'S the drought problem. Sure; well that explains it--it's all our fault. I will buy into this (bullshit) drought premise when I see brown golf courses, fountains shut down, builders leaving the state because there's no work, and armed guards securing our border against the water-wasters from the south. Until then you can all kiss my ass; I'll go wash my car 2maro.

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